Barbershop Secession

I get my hair cut at a D.C. institution run by a gregarious Italian immigrant whom we shall call "Salvatore." You go to Salvatore's not for the quality of the scissorwork, but for the cheap prices, the bipartisan (though mono-religious) 8x10 glossies on the wall, and the funny conversation. Today, I can exclusively report, Salvatore is pissed.

"Are you a lawyer?" he demanded of each customer who walked in. Heaven only knows what kind of razors will be used today on representatives of the legal profession. Salvatore says that he'll refuse to comply with the new health care requirements on small businesses, and will send a letter to the president saying as much the moment he signs the thing into law. "It's-a no in my Constitution!" he kept saying. (He really talks that way, on purpose, because it's funny.) He even made several threats to close down his shop and move to Virginia, where lawmakers are filing a challenge that he seemed to be very well versed in.

DISCLAIMER: This is an anecdote, and as such proves nothing. Unless you're the president or the speaker of the House.

Comments

[P Brooks]

Racist mobster anecdotes; are there no depths to which you won't sink?

[Colonel_Angus]

Lawyers are not a race, nor even living beings.

[smartass sob]

I always thought they were some kind of social disease.

[John]

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[Don Vittorio]

This old Italian stereotype says it's-a no in my Constitution, either!

[Willa Jean]

He's a mobster because he's Italian. I'm Sicilian. What does that make me?
I don't think Mr. Welch is the bigot here.

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[STD Clinic Singapore]

It is not so much the idea that generates interest and debate but the varying interpretations of how the concept might be translated into practice.

[Oudam]

These are potentially harmful stereotypes that should be avoided.

[Solitudinarian]

You go to Matt Welch's not for the quality of the spelling, but for the cheap and funny articles.

[Solitudinarian]

Just caught it, eh Matt?

[Matt Welch]

With help from you, thanks.

[Solitudinarian]

Maybe at the bar on the cruise, I'll tell you war stories from my copy editing days...

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[ed]

I get my hair cut at a D.C. institution

Is that a metaphor?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Salvatore doesn't care that Obama keeps the gravy trains running on time?

[P Brooks]

Heaven only knows what kind of razors will be used today on representatives of the legal profession.

"Try our Shepherds Pie; we make it with real shepherds."

[SugarFree]

And now poor Salvatore has to deal with the adverse business effects of being publicly associated with the state of Matt Welch's hair.

I'd move out of the District, too.

[Ken Shultz]

Just the cap gains hit alone should be enough to make small businesses furious.

Cap gains was already set to rise from 15 to 20 percent in 2011. If the reconciliation bill raises taxes another 3.8% on unearned income, that will effectively raise the capital gains tax from 15 to 23.8% this year.

Beyond any mandates to pay for employees, it's absurd that we would effectively raise the capital gains tax at this point in the cycle.

That's money that would have gone to productive use. And don't think that won't effect how banks calculate the value of collateral when small businesses are borrowing.

All those assets would be worth less.

[Mike M.]

There's no doubt about it: when the Bush tax cuts expire next year, the average American business and the average American taxpayer will be suffering under the highest tax burden they've ever had in their existence.

This sad reality will almost certainly cause a severe second dip in the economy, if it hasn't already started by that point.

[Ken Shultz]

Yeah, it's time to starve the beast again.

[Doc Merlin]

Starve the beast doesn't work, it just keeps spending. We need to get out our fiscal chainsaws and start downsizing.

[The good news is that]

Matt, if he slips with the razor, you no longer have to run back to France for stitches;-)

[John Thacker]

Good thing Matt wrote a book saying that this guy shouldn't be President:

McCain, who was Obama's rival in the 2008 presidential election, told ABC television that "outside the (Washington) Beltway, the American people are very angry. They don't like it, and we're going to repeal this."

[PapayaSF]

Indeed. McCain was no prize, but does anyone around here really think he'd have been as bad as Obama?

[Cosmotarian Overlord]

McCain would have been much better, he'd have shown those Iranians that we mean business and bombed those sand monkees into the pre-historic age. I can't believe these communist have socialized our health care. If only all the opposition to health care could be funneled back into regular old republicans!

[Jeffersonian]

If it comes down to shoving a government program up my ass or Ahmonnajihad's ass, I know which way I'm jumpin'.

[EVL29]

Best thing can be said about Bush: He bombed the shit out of some other country.

[Daniel]

Can't be more true ;p He should be thanks...

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[hmm]

McCain could promise to shit gold coins for everyone and it wouldn't make him a good president. However, in comparison I would take a month of prison sex over who was voted in and only a week to avoid McCain being president. So in that respect I guess he's better.

[Ska]

No one cares about Welch's barber.

However if Gillespie's stylist were to comment, I'm sure we'd be all ears.

[hmm]

I want to hear from his dry cleaner/leather cleaner.

[shrike]

The Virginia AG is just politikin.

Or his Constitutional law class missed the Supremacy Clause.

If he attended that dipshit Liberty University the latter is a strong likelihood.

[T]

Hmm. My state AG must not think the Supremacy Clause applies.

The federal health care legislation passed tonight violates the United States Constitution and unconstitutionally infringes upon Texans' individual liberties. To protect all Texans' constitutional rights, preserve the constitutional framework intended by our nation's founders, and defend our state from further infringement by the federal government, the State of Texas and other states will legally challenge the federal health care legislation.

I guess they don't teach law well at Vanderbilt, either, shrike.

[shrike]

Good politics in Texas for sure. But he didn't mention the fact he has no standing or legal defense in light of previous court rulings regarding the Supremacy Clause.

Vanderbilt is a fine school though - I give you that.

[hmm]

Accountant turned Constitutional lawyer?

There are more bones than the Supremacy Clause to be picked and apparently some lawyerly people think they should have a go at them.

[adam]

Lawyerly people who want to get elected and know that this will get them some spots on the news

[Justin]

And what happens when the Supremecy clause is at odds with the 10th amendment? Fucking hell, the government could outlaw free speech and you'd probably say it was ok because of the supremacy clause.

[Prezdint]

Hey, now....that's a pretty good idea.

[rrr]

Thanks. Until it had your approval, I was worried.

[Inkblots]

Hey, guess what? The Supremacy Clause only applies to those competencies assigned to the Federal government in the Constitution.

Of course, I'm sure you're one of those people who thinks the Interstate Commerce Clause gives the Feds the power to regulate wheat grown by a farmer solely for his own use. Good Lord, it sure is mighty handy that the framers put one or two clauses in a document intended to restrain the Federal government which give the Federal government any power it wants, eh?

[Jeff]

LOL... the Constitution. We have evolved past the need for such quaint things.

[Lou Gots]

We may wonder whether Wickard v. Filburn is still good law after U.S. v. Lopez. All those far-fetched arguments from Wickard were shot down one after another by the Lopez Court.

Indirect effects on interstate commerce isn't going to cut it.

Here's another one to think about. The Court is going to look at whether the subject matter of the disputed Federal assertion of jurisdiction is or is not a traditional state domain, such as health insurance.

I have no prediction whatsoever as to how Constitutional challenges to Effendi Obama's scheme will turn out. I can say that reliance on a wartime case finding Commerce Cluase jurisdiction over a physical commodity traded in interstate commerce, a case long since limited by developments in the law, is no grounds for glib arrogance.

[mike in va]

Supremecy clause does not allow unconstitutional acts.

[JB]

Hey shrike, I'm going to lobby for a law that mandates everyone in the country rape you.

You are one stupid fuck.

[James Ard]

How does Salvatore stay in business in Washington D.C. with an open disdain for lawyers?

[Jeff]

He does a nice little side business in meat pies.

[Catch-22]

most of them are self-loathing.

[Alan Vanneman]

Next week: Matt gets a ride from a cab driver who says that he's glad he's dying from cancer because he doesn't deserve to have health care. But I gotta ask the entire Reason staff: who's swinging a bigger dick in this town, Ayn Rand or Nancy Pelosi?

[Jeff]

Rand. Pelosi just has a megaclit.

[Episiarch]

Hey Vanneman, spare us your penis envy. Just go do us a review of Harry's War instead.

[Warty]

Just shut the fuck up, Vanneman, you obnoxious little prick. If you've ever written anything funny, I've never seen it.

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I scratch my head every time Nick praises that guy. I just don't see it.

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Like your mother and Billie Jean King sharing a double glass dildo.

Mother jokes aren't thread bare worn yet, right? You tell us, funny man.

[SugarFree]

"Ass to ass! Ass to ass!"

[Art-P.O.G.]

cue Lux Aeterna

Anyway, I like Vanneman's acerbic humor sometimes, but not this time.

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[P Brooks]

we're going to repeal this.

Of course you are, Queeg; just as soon as you get your strawberries back.

[P Brooks]

Next week, Alan Vanneman is served dinner by a twenty five year old waitress who doesn't have cancer, and doesn't understand why the government is going to steal a big chunk of her earnings and give to an insurance company.

[R C Dean]

I'm sure Alan can explain to her:

"Sweetie, you're coughing up part of your paycheck now so that, if you ever do get cancer, you won't have to pay for whatever treatment the Total State says you should receive, after making sure you wait long enough for treatment that your cancer is terminal. So, really, its for your own good, you greedy Randian bitch."

[hmm]

I had a similar hair cut with a group of barbers. A Catholic German and Italian and two younger Bosnian barbers. The old guys are always pissed about something, but oddly enough the two younger Bosnian brothers were bent more than anyone. They reasoned it would be harder for them to start their own barber shop next year due to the recent change of events.

The only reason for a hair cut is the atmosphere. I have no clue how guys go to the foofoo places.

[Spoonman.]

My fiancee cuts my hair. Way better than going someplace.

[Here's a clue]

they go with their money. Not every business takes road kill in trade.;-)

[RebeccaH]

Sweeney Todd lives! Tremble in fear, congressthieves!

[PM770]

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Matt Welch's barber, a cabbie with cancer, Alan Vanneman and a 25-year old waitress go fishing together...

[Colonel_Angus]

SugarFree could probably finish that one for you.

[SugarFree]

...and then the trout vomited up the car keys right into Alan's asshole.

[Art-P.O.G.]

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[reign in the raincoat]

It's not where you heard it but where you saw it.

[Caroline]

I have a friend who happens to be black and a lifelong Democrat. He's married to a European woman who now has US citizenship. I happened to be with them when they voted for Obama. They were beaming and thrilled with their vote.

Now? They've joined a 9/12 group, describe themselves as conservative and listen to Laura Ingraham. They are actively attending Q&A's with conservative candidates for Congress.

Believe me, if they've turned on Obama and Congress, a LOT of people have.

[Art-P.O.G.]

I hear Joe P. Boyle now describes himself as a staunch conservative.

[Nick]

I thought he committed suicide and that's why he hasn't come back to rub it in our faces that this bill passed. I credit Episiarch with his demise.

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We're too racist for him.

Although, come to think of it, he has come back to visit at least once. We were not kind.

[SugarFree]

He doesn't have the integrity to kill himself. He just slinked off to Yglesias' blog so he could circle jerk with the rest of the commie losers.

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Wait, are we circle jerking with the rest of the libertoid losers? The notion is troubling.

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We have a diversity of voices here. The liberal mindset is one we are inundated with. Having someone troll with NPR talking points and spouting baldfaced lies is not the opposite of an echo chamber.

We have a lot of people here I disagree with who nevertheless are able to grasp what a libertarian is and what one believes. joe never could. Actively refused to, in fact.

[Saxon]

how about "Thoreau" ?
haven't heard from him for a while.

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He posts in a group with some questionable characters of questionable character at Unqualified Offerings.

[McGehee]

It isnae in my Constitution eitherrrrr.

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Someone give Salvatore a copy of Sweeney Todd, stat!

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I also go to "Salvatore's" barbershop, though I got my last haircut 2 weeks ago. I hope he makes an exception for angry libertarian lawyers.

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