Reason Morning Links: Palestinians Balk, Virginia Says No to Obamacare, Helu Tops Gates and Buffet


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  1. “Someone should not be able to walk into a restaurant and order a plate of an endangered species,” said U.S. Atty. Andr? Birotte Jr. in a prepared statement.

    …That’s right. No one should be allowed to prepare anything involving an endangered species. Yet some government lawyer did. Oh! The hypocrisy!

    1. This is what happens when you name your restaurant the “Hump.”

      1. I’m over the “Hump.”

    2. I just want to order a big can of Whoop Ass – is that legal?

    3. “”Someone should not be able to walk into a restaurant and order a plate of an endangered species,” said U.S. Atty. Andr? Birotte Jr. in a prepared statement.”

      don’t go to Norge, then…

      1. VM, you SF’d the link.

    4. I agree. Ordering the Endangered Species Special off-menu is an important part of the whole experience.

  2. Brown people being richers than whites??!! Damm Affirmative Action!

    1. Not really. Slim may be a Mexican national, but he’s actually of Lebanese descent.

      1. Aren’t Lebanese Arab though?

      2. And he ain’t really slim, either.

  3. The Whale meat was legally harvested (although it is illegal in the USA).Looks like the progressives are cranking up the old “Yellow Peril” moral panic again.

    1. ?

      Yeah, that must be it.

      1. Those Asians eat dogs too you know.

        1. And every other animal and vegetable under the sun. Except other people. I think.

          1. Where do all those unauthorized second children go? Hmmm?


    1. So what’s your point?


        1. History says …. NO

          1. Real lolcatz newscaster would say:



        2. Hate is eternal.

    2. Lamebook is that way, gibberish writers ———->

    1. Fine. You may have taken one of my links for today. You will not take another.

    2. Hey, that reminds me.

      Haven’t heard from Sandi lately.

      1. I’m told she’s traveling.

  5. Mark Gold, president of Heal the Bay, an environmental organization, said he was shocked by the revelations. “This is something I never thought would happen in Santa Monica, home of Heal the Bay, the NRDC [Natural Resources Defense Council] and my house,” he said.


  6. Too bad Republican Senators from Nevada can’t be as honest and ethical as their Democrat counterparts.

    And chock up one more for the mistress. Bethsheeba strikes again!

    1. If the children were born here, they’re citizens, no?

      1. Agreed.

      2. The checks, vouchers and EBT cards go to the parents.Why do Reason libertarians support importing and subsidizing poverty?

        1. Dumbass, we don’t support subsidizing poverty, whether it’s imported or not. I would say most of us have a problem with the 75% of citizens on welfare as we do the 25% immigrants on welfare. We don’t care whether you cross an artificial border or not, just stop stealing from us via government force.

          1. I take it when you have a headache, you treat it by whacking yourself over the head with a hammer?

    2. And why would you? There are tons of organizations that have issues with immigrants but don’t mind welfare. Reason doesn’t have a problem with immigrants, but does take issue with welfare. So the fact that a quarter of welfare goes to illegal immigrants isn’t exactly their wheelhouse since the story is only a story because of who is receiving it.

      1. Good point, Nick.
        So three-quarters of the welfare goes to those whose parents were born in America? Guess we can see where the real problem lies, can’t we?

        1. Agreed.

      2. Thats because anti-immigrant (both illegal and legal) Paleos dont really have a problem with Welfare and other social programs as much as they say they are. Their main beef with it is that minority groups get it too.

        1. And Libertarians say they don’t want to have sex with children.

          1. Guess the Paleo has no argument so he resorts to a liberal attack. Your not even trying anymore LoneWacko

      3. There are tons of organizations that have issues with immigrants but don’t mind welfare.

        Start naming ’em.Even one?
        (Democratic Party and the GOP don’t count)

        1. Democratic party and the GOP.

          I see no reason they shouldnt count.

          1. Start naming ’em.Even one?

            Rednecks. They will rail about Messicans and A-rabs while bilking the government out of millions for Rascal scooters and money for Brandeen’s kids.

            Although, they aren’t exactly organized.

            1. And they think all Chinese or Japanese. All of them think that. Every one of those narrow minded bigots think that.

              Liberals all think we are Japanese.

              1. And they think all Asians are Chinese.

                Preview, you are my ex friend.

    3. “The numbers show that more than $50 million in CalWORKS benefits and food stamps for January went to children born in the United States whose parents…blah blah blah.”
      That would make them citizens, no?
      You got a problem with little brown Americans?

      1. That is the law, as is.

        That said, birthright citizenship is a stupid concept, whatever you think about Mexicans and our jerbs (and our handouts). Children don’t really have citizenship of their own in any practical sense. If their guardians move to another country, they follow. They aren’t actually treated like citizens in most respects (no franchise, restrictions on behavior, can’t sign contracts or consent to sex, etc.)

        Minors should legally be entitled to the protections of the citizenship of their guardian, but shouldn’t typically have their own citizenship.

  7. Why aren’t we discussing the important news:
    Chief Excorsist says Devil resides in Vatican.

    1. people who are possessed by Satan vomit shards of glass and pieces of iron.

      Well, duh.

      1. Satan recycles.

      2. I thought he was currently residing in the body of John Locke.

        1. I thought he was currently residing in the body of John Locke Barack Obama.


  8. The Evolution of A Moral Scold: William Saletan wrings the very blood from his hands.

    The balance of power between the worlds is shifting. Here and there, virtual reality is gaining the upper hand. The clearest evidence is death. When people consumed by the digital world begin to die and kill in the physical world, flesh is losing its grip. It still defines our deaths, but it no longer defines our lives.

    1. Become a fan of Slate on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Human Nature’s latest short takes on the news, via Twitter:

      Irony rules.

      Actually, that felching fuck *is* enough to have me run screaming from the Intertubes, demanding that we burn it to the ground and return to a simpler way of life.

      1. I’m in!

    2. Looks like a fairly good example of the fallacy of misleading vividness. I mean, if thousands and thousands of incidents like this happened, then Saletan would have an argument.


      “Long live the new flesh!”

  9. The General Assembly became the first state legislature to approve a measure that bucks any effort by President Obama and Congress to carry out a national health care overhaul in individual states.

  10. The Hump restaurant, a hip sushi hangout, came under fire after allegations surfaced in Tuesday’s New York Times that it had served endangered Sei whale meat, possibly straight from the trunk of a white Mercedes.

    I expect full photo coverage of this over at Look at this Fucking Hipster.

  11. I eat Bison fairly often.

    Yeah, they arent endangered anymore, but thats because they are tasty. Privately held bison stock dwarf the size of the public.

    1. I believe that privately held bison stock personally owned by Ted Turner dwarf the size of the public, unless he’s sold them.

      1. I can assure you, as a regular customer at Ted’s New Mexico ranch, that his bison stocks are undiminished.

  12. Jezebel vs. Ayn Rand

    I should make “Sometimes, Two Minutes is Just Not Enough Hate” a regular feature.

    1. You bastard- I knew you’d link this before me.

      Funny how when the topic is the fantasies of feminist-approved persons, they’re all live-and-let-live groovy. But this work of fiction will make teh kids go a-rapin’!

      1. I figured you would be busy until later. Better me than one of the other ruffians around here, right? Right?

        1. You do smell less worse than the others.

          1. My cootie viral load is practically nil nowadays.

            1. Nice one Saccharin Man.

              However, I would postulate that the Rascals racket and all sorts of subsidies go that group of folks that tend to be the most resistant to change and a goodly chunk of immigration…..the seasoned citizen.
              The thought process being the usual “I paid into the system, I got first dibs and the rest for citizens only,” or some such drivel.

              I would also state that of the voting age populance, them blue hars git out the vote with remarkable consistency.

              1. Reply fail; this was in response to your comment upthread.

                However, your cootie tests and assays have revealed some disturbing (yet fascinating) results…..

                I’m reordering them just for posterity, defensive medicine and all.

    2. Any women of color read Ayn Rand?
      Her books seem to raise great passions on Jezebel and I have to read them so I can form my own opinion. Especially as I’m studying architecture and I have a feeling I will come across it.
      How is it from a non-white point of view? I’m saying so I can gird myself before reading it.

      I don’t really feel like I can add anything to that comment.

    3. I never realized libertarians were a bunch of oppressive, misogynistic, wanna be rapists. But I guess the commenters are right when they say a woman could never make it in a capitalist society. Clearly only white men can survive without the government’s help.

  13. I’m back bitches! Miss me?

    1. Welcome back, JT!

      Seen Sandi?

    2. Did you bring us back something?

      1. I didn’t bring back gifts. I did however need to deposit a load of my underwear in a dumpster in Osaka.

        Don’t ask.

        1. Who are you and why should we care?

          1. Welcome back as well, Naga Sadow!

            1. Strange that it takes me being on vacation to return to the boards. Good to see you The ART.

    1. What the fuck?

  14. I believe if you refer to him by surname it should be “Slim,” not “Helu.”

  15. Privately held bison stock dwarf the size of the public.

    Ted Turner.

    1. And considering the amount of subsidies he gets, maybe it isnt “private” stock.

      1. Private Stock? I never thought I’d hear Haffenreffer get name-checked on H&R.

        1. Not brewed with organic hops and fortified with semen like the typical H&R beers.

          1. That’s bull semen, right?

      2. Turner is a piece of shit. Out in Western Kansas he has bought up large sections of entire counties. He then runs buffalo on him and has gotten his buddies in Congress to make the land where he runs buffalo exempt from local property taxes. So, the local county is left unable to tax sometimes up to half the land. So, everyone else faces the prospect of higher taxes or shitty service to carry his worthless ass. I honestly hope someone kidnaps him and sticks a hot poker up his ass until he dies.

        1. Im pretty sure congress cant exempt land from local taxes. Im also sure they think they can, but they cant.

          1. They don’t exempt them. That was sloppy language on my part. What happens is they are owned by his “non profit” environmental restoration fund. He goes in and tears out the fences and turns buffalo lose and calls it an environmental restoration. That effects the how much the country can value the land. Things like game preserves are valued very low. Much lower than agricultural land. So, it basically destroys the country’s tax base. The state could end that by changing how all refuge land is taxed. But that would kill off lots of other refuges. When they made that determination no one dreamed that some jackass like Turner would go out and buy a million acres.

            Meanwhile, Turner runs the “refuge” like a business where he makes millions doing hunting trips and selling the buffalo meat. And the state can’t raise the value of his property one cent.

            1. Georgist Single Tax would fix that right up.

            2. So where do the “buddies in congress” come in again?

              Sounds like he is abusing existing law, not buying special privilege.

              1. What is a “refuge” is defined by federal law. He got them to broaden the definition to allow him to also make money on the properties. And he gets a ton of tax breaks for raising buffalo.

                1. Not much of a refuge if I’m dodging bullets, is it?

                  1. At least you got a nickel.

    2. Ted’s Montana grill makes a good burger. It must be nice being rich enough to start up a fully vertically integrated business.

    3. Bah, didn’t read toward the end of the thread.

  16. The comments are

    #1 Warty and his alleged shit fetish
    #2 Vatican devil catcher
    #3 Johnny thinking anybody noticed he was gone
    #4 Ayn Rand promotes rape by invitation
    #5 Somebody ate Moby Dick

    1. Warty fetishes constipated women.Moby Dick was a toothed whale. The sushi came from a baleen whale.

      1. Who gives a crap about the type of whale. Eating whale makes you a dick.

          1. because I said so

            1. Oh. Well then fuck you.

              Lisa: Nuke the whales?
              Nelson: Gotta nuke somethin’.
              Lisa: Touche.

              1. Whale meat, like most, is ruined by microwave cooking. If you’re going to cook it at all, use a saute pan.

                1. Or don’t dump your charcoal chimney and just put a grate directly over the top when it’s at peak heat. Apply a quick sear on all sides and let it rest before digging in.

                  1. How do you cook puppies?

                    1. Over a roaring troll fire. Drink this lighter fluid so we can get started.

                  2. So, just like tuna, then? Handy to know.

                    1. I also cook all my beef steaks like that now. But then it really only works if you are making them rare to med-rare.

                      My project for the summer is going to be a wide-mouthed chimney at least 18″ across, so I can produce more surface area. I’ve seen some steel home chimney liner that might do the trick.

                    2. My project this summer is to fuck SugarFree to death and then roast him over open fire but hell, I’m not even going to eat his shriveled pancreas.

                    3. I would go well with shallots.

                    4. I see you more as an apple in the mouth type of guy but I’ll have to find somewhere else to put it because your head will explode from the big bang.

                    5. Steve? Is that you?

                      ARGGHHHHHH! SMASH!!!!

  17. Scientists have recently extracted DNA from the eggshells of extinct ratitic birds including the Elephantbird of Madagascar and the Moa of New Zealand.

    I can’t wait to taste these creatures once science learns how to reconstitute them. They certainly can’t be covered by the Endangered Species Act: they are extinct.

  18. Ted just pulled off some sort of a sweetheart deal with the state of Montana to take the overflow of bison which come out of the Park (Yellowstone) to one of his properties for “safekeeping”.

    It’s better than rounding them up and slaughtering them (although the wailing of the hippies makes a very pleasing soundtrack), but not as sensible as testing them for brucellosis and then auctioning them off and banking the proceeds.

  19. “Senator John Ensign’s efforts to steer lobbying work to the embittered husband of his former mistress and could deepen his legal and political troubles.” This gives new meaning to a woman’s work is never done.

  20. The college loan program overhaul got the CBO to claim that it would save money– if you assume that the risk of default is zero. The idea that the private loans price in the chance of default? Preposterous!

    Once the CBO priced in risk, the bill is expected to cost the taxpayers money.

    What could possibly go wrong with having the government subsidize loans and ignore the chance of the lendee defaulting? That worked so well with housing…

    1. The Radical-in-Chief wants to make four year college education yet another American entitlement, with the suckers, I mean the taxpayers, footing the bill.

  21. If I was in Santa Monica and saw a place called The HUMP, there is no fucking way I’d go in there. I’d probably cross the street to go past.

  22. The New York Times article on the lending program notes that the later, more accurate CBO estimates show that the program would increase the deficit, but never notes the reason why (actually counting expected losses from defaults). I’m not sure if it’s ignorance or malice, but I’m sure it leaves New York Times readers ignorant.

  23. It’s nice to see you finally made bail, Johnny.

    1. Perfect record, 15 indictments not one conviction.

      1. That must be some kind of record.

  24. Synopsis:
    Added: Mar 08, 2010 10:39 am

    The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) REMINGTON BRAND MODEL 870 POLICE 12/14P MOD GRWC XS4 KXCS SF. RAMAC #24587 GAUGE: 12 BARREL: 14″ – PARKERIZED CHOKE: MODIFIED SIGHTS: GHOST RING REAR WILSON COMBAT; FRONT – XS CONTOUR BEAD SIGHT STOCK: KNOXX REDUCE RECOIL ADJUSTABLE STOCK FORE-END: SPEEDFEED SPORT-SOLID – 14″ LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.
    The required date of delivery is March 22, 2010.

    1. A link would be helpful.

      1. It didn’t seem to work as a direct link.
        If you get the front page enter “shotguns” in the vendor opportunities field.

    2. Are these intended for classroom use?

  25. Email messages obtained by the Competitive Enterprise Institute via a Freedom of Information Act request reveal that the climate dataset of NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) was considered ? by the top climate scientists within NASA itself ? to be inferior to the data maintained by the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit (CRU).

    The NASA scientists also felt that NASA GISS data was inferior to the National Climate Data Center Global Historical Climate Network (NCDC GHCN) database.

    These emails, obtained by Christopher Horner, also show that the NASA GISS dataset was not independent of CRU data.

    Further, all of this information regarding the accuracy and independence of NASA GISS data was directly communicated to a reporter from USA Today in August 2007.

    The reporter never published it.


    1. But the emails reveal that at least three of the four datasets were not independent, that NASA GISS was not considered to be accurate, and that these quality issues were known to both top climate scientists and to the mainstream press.

      1. Absolutely incredible! They knew there were serious issues almost three years ago and tried to keep it hushed up, which of course failed (as it nearly always does).

        We now know of course, thanks to John Christy at Huntsville, that pretty much ALL of the data in recent decades is contaminated, and therefore worthless.

        1. And the media knew it and wouldn’t report it.

          1. Of course not John. Since it flies in the face of “settled science” (an oxymoron for the ages), the priests of the high church of AGW cannot allow such heresies to surface.

  26. Fuck those guys. Whale is delicious.

  27. yeah. what billy-jay said.

  28. Here’s a video that I found the other day. Cycles by Cyriak, who’s some sort of MC Escher inspired video artist.

    Description (my own): Pedo bear wrecking crew acid trip. Combines awesome with WTF!

    Happy Thursday.

    1. Jesus man! That sucked! It was like a really boring acid trip.

      1. Oh, sorry. Maybe this is more your liking.

          1. Nice try . . . 2nd one down.

            1. Damn you google! Google has really cut down my ability to rick roll people here. Granted, I haven’t tried in about six months or so.

          2. Crashed my browser, asshole.

    2. If the Empire had made AT-ATs look like the big ones, the Ewoks would have worshiped them as gods.

  29. The U.S. Department of Education (ED) intends to purchase twenty-seven (27) et c, et c.

    Finally; we’ll have some discipline in our schools.

    1. Arrest the DOE. Zero tolerance is zero tolerance.

  30. Mexican telecom baron Carlo Slim Helu tops Gates, Buffet as richest man on the planet.

    Damn, richest guy on planet and he has a colorful moniker, too.

  31. Obama supports DNA sampling upon arrest

    “Josh Gerstein over at Politico sent Threat Level his piece underscoring once again President Barack Obama is not the civil-liberties Knight In Shining Armor many were expecting.

    Gerstein posts a televised interview of Obama and John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted. The nation’s chief executive extols the virtues of mandatory DNA testing of Americans upon arrest, even absent charges or a conviction. Obama said, “It’s the right thing to do” to “tighten the grip around folks” who commit crime.”

    1. I think that’s a great idea. In fact, it’s long overdue.


    2. “It’s the right thing to do” to “tighten the grip around folks” who commit crime.”

      Is this some sort of of euphemism for for forcible semen samples for DNA specimens?

      1. This job has former representative Massa’s name written all over it.

  32. Worried?

  33. $100 billion proposal to save city worker jobs


    1. Besides meter maids which could be privatized and local cops and judges, why does any city need 26,000 employees? They basically run themselves.

    1. J sub D, I knew there would be consequences when the Chile earthquake knocked the earth off-kilter. Do you think it means libertarians will start to care more about people than Startrek?

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