Sleep Safe, Greensburg. You Won't Have To Worry About These Monsters Anymore.

There are no dead dogs, lying informants, or flash grenades, but this story from Greensburg, Indiana, really captures the mundane stupidity, utter dissonance, and day-to-day waste of resources that is America's drug war. Seems that last week a concerned citizen called a tip line to report some young people smoking pot at the house next door.

Here's what happened next:

The caller advised that there was suspicious activity, strange noises and unusual odors coming from the apartment. When GPD officers arrived, the strange smell was identified as "burnt marijuana," Chief Heaton reported.

After identifying the apartment that was emitting the odors, the GPD attempted to make contact. But inside the apartment, no one answered.

Working quickly to establish probable cause, the officers sought to obtain a search warrant from the office of the Decatur County Prosecutor.

In the interim period before the warrant was granted, the GPD kept a secure perimeter around the residence, making sure that no one went in or out of the apartment, Chief Heaton explained.

"It definitely tied up our units (for about two hours)," Heaton said.

The search warrant was secured and served at 1:23 a.m. Tuesday. Upon gaining entry to the apartment, the police found marijuana and proof of marijuana consumption and the five suspects were arrested.

Four of the five perpetrators were charged with "visiting a common nuisance," and one was charged with misdemeanor possession. One was also charged for failure to appear on a separate warrant.

The Greensburg Daily News dutifully adds that the "watchful citizen's" tip "brought the Greensburg Police Department closer to exterminating the drug problem in the city."

Yeah. Good luck with that.