Chips Cops to Encourage Chips Shops to Supersize


Whoops, wrong CHiPs cops

Chip cops are soon going to popping into U.K. chip shops with calipers and calorie counters. They'll be part of a Food Standards Agency pilot program to encourage British fryers to make their chips (already fatter than American fast food fries) to be even thicker—and thus slightly healthier.

The FSA scheme will cover Cambridgeshire, Greater Manchester and Northern Ireland by the end of this month. Officials will visit 80 chip shops to examine how much fat is in their chips and offer advice.

If the pilot scheme is successful it will be rolled out across the country and last two years. Other small caterers including Indian and Chinese takeaways will be included.

Douglas Roxburgh, president of the National Federation of Fish Fryers (which is totally a real thing), replies that the rules are "totally unfair." But in a classic example of businesses using government to put their competitors under pressure, instead of making a case for being left alone, he just wants the other guys punished, too:

'They should be concentrating on fast food outlets who make the thin French fries, not  the traditional independent chip shop,' he said. 

'We will be opposing this as much as we can until they make it a level playing field and start asking McDonald's, KFC and Burger King to change their chip sizes too.'

Via Crispy on the Outside.

NEXT: Guns for All, Privileges or Immunities for None

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  1. Effin’ A is all I can say. This is jackassery of the highest order.

    1. ‘kin A indeed

  2. What country was Orwell from again?

    The Food Standards Agency is getting so ridiculous, pretty soon they’ll be measuring the thickness of our chips!

    I guess it is possible for something to become so ridiculous, it’s impossible to lampoon. …but who knew?

    1. “pretty soon they’ll be measuring the thickness of our chips!”

      You mean fries?

      1. You buy chips from the chipper.

  3. The picture of estrada is begging for a “thicker chips” joke. Suggestions?

    1. I think Estrada got whatever suggestions he needed four pant-sizes ago.

  4. Every time I read something about government abuses of power and other outrages in the US, I know I can always count on the UK to take the idiocy to a whole new level. Well played, blokes.

  5. than chip shops in Ireland that still serve you on paper.

  6. ‘We will be opposing this as much as we can until they make it a level playing field and start asking McDonald’s, KFC and Burger King to change their chip sizes too.’

    Translation: “I won’t be satisfied until we’re all equally oppressed!”

  7. “the National Federation of Fish Fryers” would be an excellent band name.

  8. Note to Her Majesty’s Government:

    Monty Python was an entertainment program, not an instruction manual.

      1. Are we letting celebrities win threads now?

    1. If only Her Majesty’s government would use as an instruction manual Monty Python’s Upper Class Twit of the Year

      1. I guess that explains why the British government has banned all handguns, and are working on banning knives.

        The Brits need to protect their upper-middle class bureaucrats, civil servants, and assembly members from a self-induced holocaust.

  9. Yea, a healthy meal is what I always went to a chippie to get.

  10. I hope at least one of the American companies tells the Brits to go take a flying leap. And thanks for the competitive advantage.

  11. That picture of Warty and Episiarch in younger happier days brings a tear to my eyes.

    1. I think that is their prom photo.

      1. You told me you wouldn’t share the pics from my Facebook page, you traitor!

    2. We were happy back then because we ate so much lard. Those were the days.

      1. Try making a good pie crust without lard. Go ahead, I dare you.

      2. Lard? I’m scared to ask what that’s a euphemism for.

  12. Britain? Britian is accusing the Mossad of offing that Hamas pig and using some Brit passports to do it. If it was the Mossad, more power to them and let Britian be embarrassed about it by using their passports. However, maybe Interpol can indict both the Mossad and James Bond (Sean Connery) for the following reasons:

    There has been much talk that the Mossad allegedly killed some Hamas Nazi and that Israel should be punished for killing this creep. As this is the case, I think both the Mossad people and James Bond should finally face justice.
    Here is my case:

    James Bond in the documentary Thunderball clearly shows what a violater of international law he is.

    For one thing, at 1.33 min of the documentary he tells the french agent that Jacque Boiviar killed two of his colleagues, when Sean Connery should have said that Jacque Boiviar allegedly had killed two of his colleagues (hrumph).

    Also, later on in the documentary, James Bond kills a transvestite or a transexual in a country not his own (3.55 minutes into the documentary). James Bond is clearly shown to be a racist, homophobic, politically incorrect bastard! It is therefore my opinion that Interpol and the Arabs should put James Bond on trial for murder alongside the Mossad!

    Yeppers. That makes sense as the Thunderball documentary proves.

    “There’s no need to fear. Underzog is here!” (The Mossad will get you Rh?mites if you don’t behave).

    1. Whoever did this parody of UnderSchmuck, you are a fucking genius. Because this can’t be real.

    2. Hamas: Jordan or Egypt likely behind Dubai hit

      Hamas suspects the security forces of an Arab state were behind the assassination of a senior group operative in Dubai earlier this year, the Al-Quds Al-Araby daily reported on Tuesday.

      Mahmoud Nasser, a member of Hamas’ political bureau, told the newspaper that slain commander Mahmoud al-Mabhouh was likely being tracked by agents from Jordan and Egypt prior to the January 19 killing.

      Nasser said he had been given information regarding such efforts to kill Mabhouh, adding that the evidence indicated that the assassination was carried out earlier than the alleged agents had planned.

      According to Nasser, Mabhouh was in possession of “dangerous” information seen as dangerous to particular Arab elements seeking to topple Islamist resistance.

      Nasser oversees Hamas’ ties with Iran and worked closely with Mabhouh, sometimes referred to as his deputy. Hamas raised these accusations after a prelimary investigation immediately following the murder, and match early suspicions raised by Dubai as well.

    3. I use to believe Israel would do fine on its own if we cut the purse strings, but given the history of Mossad incompetence, I really wonder. They couldn’t make the killing of one guy look like an accident? Whoops, he bumped his head on the ceramic toilet. If only hotel rooms in Arab countries were up to code, this tragic loss would have never happened. How tough would that have been?

      1. You think Mossad would be stupid enough to show their faces to hotel cameras and steal Israeli IDs?

        This is an obvious and amateur frame-up. Too bad the mainstream media wants it to be true.

  13. The limeys are insane. I’m so very glad some colonial nutcases decided to break some ties 200+ years ago.

    1. Fuckin’ limeys.

  14. Since we have seen beer and pizza start massive opinion-storms on these comment boards, I’ll simply state that Five Guys has the best fries, then slink away…

    1. I like them, but I think they would benefit from twice frying.

      Belgian frites places usually have amazing fries. Especially the places that still fry in rendered beef fat.

      1. Or duck fat, like Quinn’s in Seattle.

        1. Say, I heard there was a Brady anti-gun rally near the market. Did you go and heckle them?

          1. The Brady people are such massive jerkwads. Spectacularly missing the point since 1981:

            Ralph Fascitelli, president of Washington Ceasefire, which works to reduce gun violence in the state, brought up the November shootings by Maurice Clemmons of four police officers at a coffee shop in Parkland. “If these four highly trained professionals with their guns on them cannot fend off a determined killer, what would cause us to believe that the Open Carry crowd can do better?” he asked the group.

            If you really fear for your life in coffee shops, Ralphie, I have a couple of other tasty beverage suggestions for you.

            1. Whoops, the Seattle Times blog I pulled that from is so boring and irrelevant, I forgot to link it.

              More pants-wetting quotes from such luminaries as the Million Mom March await you there.

            2. Ralph Fascitelli, president of Washington Ceasefire, which works to reduce gun violence ownership in the state,

              Just because Ralph is lying to us doesn’t mean the press has to.

          2. I was not aware of this happening, but the Brady Bunch is so fucking impotent at this point, who cares. Washington has extremely lax gun laws, which is great, and seemingly no inclination to change that.

            1. You’re saved by everyone east of the Cascades.

              1. You’re a moron if you think those tiny towns that dot the landscape west of the Cascades don’t want their guns too. It’s not just Seattle, Olympia, and “north of Oregon country”.

    2. Coffee shop at the Guayaquil, Ecuador Airport. Don’t let them get cold, however, or they’re completely unswallowable.

    3. Excellent fries, but the burgers are even better.

    4. McDonald’s has the best fries, no contest.

  15. No doubt in their wisdom they will also demand they fry using corn or canola oil, thus making sure to increase the amount of omega-6 fat in the diet even more, contributing to diabetes and metabolic syndrome.

    Who knew that coconut and pasture finished-animal lard were better to use for frying? Oh wait, doctors and everyone already knew that. B. Better to use those sparingly than omega 6 fat every day.

  16. Good fat is one of the healthiest things you can eat.

    There’s nothing wrong with good omega6 like that found in sunflower and grapeseed oil. Transfats are omega6, they’re what you have to watch out for.

  17. And remember… this is a country going broke asfast as the US. But they can round up the cash to hire chip checkers.

    1. The Chip Checkers would be an excellent name for a rock band.

  18. Roxburgh is exemplary of why this shit only ever gets worse. He doesn’t simply oppose it on principle, wishing to get rid of it altogether. No, he just wants to make sure his competitors are burdened by such regulation at least as much as he and his fellow fish fryers are, if not more-so, due to their “thin French fries.” You know, a “level playing field” of awful Nanny-statism.

  19. What a terrible, shitty little island is Airstrip One.

  20. Yesterday I noticed a story on a local news channel about the fat cops on the Greensboro PD being made to take an exercise regimen.

    I went for my routine jog at the park on the edge of the city and was tying my shoes when a van pulled up and the same cops who I saw interviewed poured out of the van.

    A very friendly porker came up to me and asked how I was doing. I told him I recognized him, and he yelped, ‘hot damn, I’m famous!’ before strolling off to catch up with the rest of the group.

    1. Friendly? He’s exercising on YOUR dime, he a goddamn thief!

      1. Salaried, he is doing everything on my dime.

  21. The FSA scheme will cover…

    I like that everything the Brit government does is a “scheme”. The British government’s scheme to tax motorists by the mile, the British government’s scheme to ban happy hour, the British government’s scheme to blow up the Lusitania. It just has an interestingly Limey ring to it.

  22. It’s really confusing reading articles where they refer to “chips” when talking about freedom fries.

    1. Don’t you mean freedom eagles?

  23. I don’t know what’s funnier – Britain turning into the Soviet Union or muslims wanting to move to such a shithole.

  24. Will the stuff taste better when fried in bureaucrat fat?

  25. to examine how much fat is in their chips and offer advice.

    I think we’d all like to offer the inspectors some advice.

  26. I don’t care about the chips – I’m all about the single fish, no salt, no vinegar. Wrapped in paper from the Blue Lagoon in Glasgow.

    Walking back to the crib eating BL fish wrapped in paper…XTC.

    They’ll be after the fish next, cause lord knows it would be “better for me” if it were baked, not fried. Of course, I wouldn’t ever buy it again…

    So back off, bureaufucks, or I’ll stop visiting the hameland and spending my money to prop up your whithered, dying carcass of an island. Bitches.

  27. You can have my fish and chips when you pry them from my greasy fingers.

    1. They’ll probably just slide out.

      1. Hmmm, extra protein with the maggots

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  29. What happened to what used to be Great Britain 🙁

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