An appeals court in Minneapolis, Minnesota has overturned a lower court ruling, finding that a group of seven "zombies" had been wrongfully detained during a 2006…protest. The decision allows the zombies to continue with their lawsuit against police who arrested them for disorderly conduct. "An objectively reasonable person would not think probable cause exists under the Minnesota disorderly conduct statue to arrest a group of peaceful people for engaging in an artistic protest by playing music, broadcasting statements (and) dressing as zombies," the appeals court ruled.
The zombies in question were part of a protest against "mindless" consumerism in Minneapolis's public downtown shopping district. (Consumers don't have braaaaains! Or they are zombies because of TV ads! Or something! Braaaains!)
As is traditional when stories like these make the news, the cops kept it classy. According to the ruling:
"The plaintiffs were met by numerous officers, including the officer in charge, Sergeant Edward Nelson. [one of the plaintiffs] testified that Nelson acted like "a drill sergeant with new recruits," and said that he didn't "give a g**damn about anybody's constitutional f***ing rights." The plaintiffs were patted down and placed in a holding cell."
Anyway, the court is right: the cops shouldn't have arrested the zombies for "disorderly conduct." If there's one lesson Americans should have learned by now, it's that we shouldn't wait for the authorities to save us. Better to get in the habit of grabbing a shovel and doing the zombie beheading yourself, American consumerists. It's only a matter of time.
