Reason Morning Links: Majority Don't Want Second Term for Obama, Plans for First New Nuclear Plants in a Generation, Marijuana a Performance-Enhancing Drug?

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  1. Marijuana is only a performance enhancing drug if there’s a Snickers at the finish line.

    1. That made me giggle uncontrollably. Thanks.

      1. Are your eyes bloodshot as well, double b?

    2. Oh, come on… we all know pot helps you become a better snowboarder. Just like how pot helps you to listen to 90-minute cassettes of live Phish shows without getting bored and falling asleep.

  2. “New poll: 52% say Obama doesn’t deserve reelection.”

    Cool. Surprising too. Though, November 2012 is a long ways off and Dodd is probably right.

    At least it would give new meaning to the term “The One”.

  3. New poll: 52% say Obama doesn’t deserve reelection.

    That just proves we’re stupid enough to need Obama to do our thinking for us. Right, MNG and Tony?

  4. Soros Betting Hard Against Fiat Currencies And Pouring Into ‘The Ultimate Bubble’

    George Soros’s Soros Fund Management charged into gold during the fourth quarter, doubling its stake in the world’s largest gold ETF. …

    1. Seeing as Soros made his billions attacking weak currencies, this is valuable information (as currencies get driven down, gold gets strong). Casts a little light on the attack on the euro these past weeks, no?

      1. Or maybe Greece had something to do with that?

  5. Hmmmm…. The EU seems to have more pull over Greece’s budget than Washington has over CA’s.

    The E.U. Threatens To Strip Greece Of Its Own Sovereignty If It Doesn’t Comply With Demands

    1. Biden said … “we understand why they’re angry. … We get it.”

      No, you’ll get it in November.

      1. Yeah, they don’t really get it yet. If they did, they wouldn’t be having discussions about seeing if they can force their crappy health care bill through reconciliation, or even by executive order.

    2. So, my sister is working at the Olympics, in the kitchen at one of the stadiums. She said that they had to go extra crazy with the sanitizing for His Bidenness’ visit. She’s a potsmoking slacker & even she was all, dude, what’s so special about this douchebag? And I was all, dude, just overcook his steak & go smoke another j.

        1. Your sister’s not only a pot-smoking slacker, she’s a pot-smoking slacker with a pretty decent job. Don’t you think that’s sending the wrong message to today’s youth?

          1. Well, she used to beat up on people for their pension checks, so this is definitely a step up.

            Don’t even ask about her other sister.

              1. How did you know? Or are you one too? I hear all syrup thieves stick together. Hurr.

                1. Dammit, man, if you wanted to share my year’s supply of shame, all you had to do was ask!

                  My Canada jokes really are horribly immature, though.

  6. Joe Biden, Magister Obvium

    Almost makes it look like Biden is the one with the brains in this administration, though.

    1. Let me be clear: almost?

    2. With Biden, Palin and Root vying for the office in 2008, i was convinced that we should just abolish the position. Or make it a Potato Head family hereditary office.

  7. Re: technophobia

    In contrast, the accumulation of many years of evidence suggests that heavy television viewing does appear to have a negative effect on our health and our ability to concentrate.

    So they were right. Kinda kicks your whole thesis in the wedding tackle, no?

  8. At the same time that Obama says he wants to build nuclear power plants he also want to shut down the only planned nuclear waste depository

    1. I don’t get it either. Though to be honest the Yucca Mountain fiasco (it works for me) can hardly be laid at The Chosen One’s doorstep.

  9. Kid, you’ll never be a champion if you don’t keep toking.

    1. Back in my ping pong days we called the between game tokes coaching. Nothing gets you in the zone like a little thc.

  10. sort of appropriate for the pot/snowboarder story:

    The Dock Ellis LSD no-hitter

    1. Just another reason why Pittsburgh is awesome.

      1. Just anotherThe only reason why Pittsburgh is awesome.

        FTFY

        1. The beer is so insanely cheap, it’s essentially free.

        2. If you can’t appreciate a Primanti Bros. Sandwich, then your opinion does not matter to me.

  11. At least it would give new meaning to the term “The One”.

    That’s good, Kyle. I will use it!

    Unfortunately, he’s already on record about not caring. Sorta like a lifer in prison?

    1. Whether he cares or not, it’s the Obamalytes that will be the group to watch here. If Obama is not reelected, his supporters will launch what may very well be the biggest hissy fit in the history of the USA.

      So calling him “The One” is more of a dick move towards his fluffers than an insult towards him in my book. Though, it still would work that way.

      And, let me be clear, I think he will be reelected in 2012. Obama would have epically fuck up not to get back in. He was practically a shoe in for two terms from the get go. I hope I’m wrong about that though. Then again, I hold litle hope for any other candidate so it’s kind of a moot point.

      1. I don’t agree at all. Obama is too obviously in over his head, too transparent a liar, and too poor a decision-maker to have a chance in hell of getting reelected.

        Frankly, I’m surprised that that many people would reelect him. Just goes to show that the yay-team mentality trumps virtual any amount of dishonesty or incompetence in office.

        1. Wasn’t that said of Clinton and Bush too?

        2. “Just goes to show that the yay-team mentality trumps virtual any amount of dishonesty or incompetence in office.”

          And that’s precisely why I think he’ll be back in. Provided that the elections this year go more towards the right, Obama and his team will have a chance to say that they want to work with the new blood for the American people now that they have again spoken and demand change even firmer or some such tripe.

          1. I’d just say I didn’t want the stinky presidency anyway.

          2. He’s going to take ineptitude to a totally new level when the Democrats lose control of Congress.

            1. Hopefully you’re right on both accounts there.

            2. Repubs will take the House, not the Senate, and we’ll settle into a glorious period of Clintonian do-nothingness and slow burn foreign wars without any annoying presidential sex-scandals.

        3. I don’t doubt that the Republicans can find a candidate horrid enough to give Obama a good chance at a second term, even if only 30% of the country thinks he deserves it.

          1. I think the key factor in the One’s decision-making will be whether the job of Pope is going to be available in 2012.

  12. Let me be clear: almost?

    My comments sort of tend to include possibly unnecessary equivocations. Forgive me.

    1. I know where you’re coming from. I often have to edit out equivocation (seriously).

      1. I sometimes do, too, I think.

  13. “Meanwhile, excessive study was considered a leading cause of madness by the medical community.”

    Sounds like my grad school days.

  14. The Gay Agenda of The Golden Girls

    Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.

    1. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. … Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.

      Speechless.

      1. Awesome. The sentence “Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls” links to a bio page about one gay television critic who wrote a episode guide to the show.

        The science is settled!

        1. I’m sure more than one Queer Studies doctoral candidate is relieved.

      2. Crap. I’ve been had.

        Truly fantastic satire.

        1. +1. It almost has a “Simulacra and Simulation” thing going on.

    2. You gotta admit, Bea Authur turned a lot of men off to women (or onto men). 🙂

    3. Where does the pro-Reagan, pro- uh, volleyball, Top Gun fall into the author’s thesis?

      1. The advent of Log Cabin Republicans and probably the funniest name of any political subsect?

    4. Today, as this crowd ages we have to wonder what comes next for the Golden Girl generation of American homosexuals. They’re turning 40 and 50 now. Their hair is thinning, their waistlines expanding, their cachet in the cultural scene is long past. Most have settled into heavily mortgaged condos or bungalows in gentrified neighborhoods, bitter at their mid-level jobs with zero hope of becoming a CEO to make their fathers proud. Many are too old at this point to be pursuing anonymous street pickups and have settled into caustic relationships that are only monogamous out of mutual laziness. Maybe they find weekend solace in amateur photography or an overly primped shit-zu.

      Parody or not, this is fucking awesome. Give this writer three Pulitzers.

      1. Absolutely.

        That really paints a vivid, palpable picture. Fuck, if I were in the group he’s talking about there I’d be suicidal after reading that. It’s pretty vicious. In a great, great way.

          1. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…!

      2. That is a pretty epic literary beatdown. Now if only that article had been about the Boomers, he’d have a winner.

      3. “Shit-zu”?

        You can’t fool me — this is from The Onion!

      4. Or spend day after day obsessively blogging about Sarah Palin. *sob*

      5. Oh come on. That’s got Sugar Free written all over it. He milds it down for other sites.

    5. The Golden Girls: How One TV Show “Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals”. What do you expect to happen when you combine the vagina power? of these gals? They also control global warming/cooling and your diabetes Surgarfree.

    6. This is wonderful.

      Blanche Devereaux, played by Rue McClanahan on the show, is one of the sluttiest sluts around. She will do anything to get anyone into her bedroom for hours of offensive copulation irregardless of her aging orifices.

      “Aging orifices”, plus the stuff about leather daddies, twinks and poppa bears? OMG happy.

      1. “Offensive copulation” is fantastic as well.

        1. I’m sure you think it is.

    7. Is the writer trying to tell us nobody like Johnny Weir was around before the Golden Girls?

      Ha!

      1. I thought that site was serious at first, but even now that I know it’s satire…5 stars. The triumphant return of Sugarlinks?.

        1. Did you think I was serious too?

          I too love the Sugatlinks, even when they work.

    8. Christwire.org is the best thing since we began keeping records of best things.

  15. I don’t think anyone mentioned this yesterday:

    FCC wants 260 million people on 100Mbps broadband by 2020

    The obvious point being, of course, that the government is the only agent that can make this happen.

    1. A chicken in every pot and high-speed porn in every living room!

      1. A chicken in every pot and high-speed porn in every living room!

      2. I just got my 25/25 connection from Verizon FIOS last week, during the DC Snowmageddon, for only $15 more than I was paying for my 10/2 connection. I have yet to find a site that can saturate the pipe. Even bandwidth-intensive commercial sites will only fill a fraction of it.

        I also maintained my fiber link during the entire monster storm, while my neighbor’s Comcast Xfinity connection went down at the very beginning and was down for over a week.

        I’m sure FCC Mega-Giga-Band will be just as inexpensive and reliable. /snark

    2. When they say things like that, it usually turns out that their goal is woefully anemic. We’ll probably have 50 Gbps broadband by then. . .despite anything the FCC does.

      1. Exactly. Ten years is a LOOOONG time, especially in tech terms. I’m sure they’ll “adjust” their goals as we progress, always patting themselves on the back along the way for a job well done.

        1. After Call of Duty 14 is released, we’ll need 50GBps just so we can pwn nubs in a lag free environment.

          1. Ah, yes, Call of Duty 14: Cathouse Caper, was a hugely successful, genre-changing game. With the first full-immersion sex-in-game experience, the game broke sales records. The game also operated as an MMO, where players could interact as soldiers or French whores on-line. Gamers were thankful for their 100 Tbps connections, let me tell you!

            When the haptic interface came out for the game, the American economy also slowed down, as players outnumbered workers for the first time.

              1. It’s okay, The Art, you beat your addiction through therapy, also available at that time as an MMO.

                1. That’s actually a weird and wonderful idea I’d totally seize on if Neal Stephenson hasn’t done so already.

                  1. LOL, I cackle every time I see Neal Stephenson’s name spelled correctly. A friend is a huge fan and ALWAYS spells it wrong.

                  2. Neal’s conceptions did not include Call of Duty porn per se.

                    1. Only William S. Burroughs (OK, maybe William Gibson) could have seen that coming and I doubt he knew what an FPS was.

                    2. It was hinted at in Shakespeare:

                      Prediction of FSP gamer ailments: “Sore with shooting.” Love’s Labour’s Lost: IV, ii.

                      Prediction of “God” games involving smiting: “O that I were a god, to shoot forth thunder.” King Henry VI, part II: IV, i.

                      Prediction of the popularity of Fallout: “I will fashion to [i.e., play] fall out between twelve and one. . . . Othello: IV, ii; Call of Duty: “Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?” The Taming of the Shrew: V, ii.

                      Praise of the video games to come: “O excellent device! was there ever heard a better. . . .” The Two Gentlemen of Verona: II, i.

                      And so on.

  16. Sports media tries to penetrate the mysterious nexus between pot and snowboarding.

    What a steaming pile of dog shit.

  17. New poll: 52% say Obama doesn’t deserve reelection.

    44% said he does get another term. Take the 52%. Give em a dozen republicans from Palin to Huckabee to Romney to Rand Paul. Split off the Tea party/small government types. Split off the group that don’t want a Republican theocracy. Watch the middle/undecideds get hypnotised by Obama again and you have a second term for him. If the economy shows any substantive improvement, Obama is unbeatable. Republicans, God love em, are too disjointed, unorganised and divided to put up a serious contender.

    just my opinion.

    1. Could be. But in 1990, GHWB looked unbeatable and Clinton was some unknown small state governor chasing skirts in Little Rock.

      1. The big difference, in my opinion, is that here we have a Democrat incumbent and Republicans tend to be more grounded in their voting and are less likely to follow a populist candidate.

  18. A fun history of intellectual panic over new forms of technology.

    Heh! I’m old enough to be a techno-woorywart. Odin knows I think that kids today doen’t measure up to the high standards set by My G-G-G-Generation. Yet I refuse to get my tits in a flutter over this new fangled Facebook and Twitter thingees.

    Apparently my brain hasn’t ossified enough for full fledged curmudgeonliness. I credit tetrahydrocannabinol for this.

  19. I just wanted to say that

    Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage.

    SugarFree, that’s your best link yet.

    1. I’m fine with robot sex. I draw the line at robot marriage.

      1. You oppose miscogenation? Robotist!

        1. BB is just tired of humans taking all the fine robot sistas.

          1. He likes his coffee artificial, like his women.

            1. “Bitch, you keep back-talking like that and I’m going to pop your batteries right out!”

              “I. Am. Sorry. Ben. Would. You. Like. Electrorim. Now?”

              1. :electricity arcs across the permanent “O” of the android’s mouth as it drops to its knees:

      2. Is this a good time to mention the Hanson Brothers’ “My Girlfriend’s A Robot”? [youtube]

        “I took her apart ’cause she broke my heart”

        1. Good stuff. For a moment I thought it was those “mmmBop” guys.

          1. It’s a hockey playing, Ramones-loving alter ego of Nomeansno. The “Hanson Brothers” apparently comes from the movie “Slap Shot”. I do like confusing people about it though.

    2. Xeones, today is the day. Have I got a robot for you:
      Robot Andrew Sullivan|2.17.10 @ 9:36AM|#

  20. Obama will be reelected in 2012 because the Republicans will pick a horrible nominee- i.e. Sarah Palin.

    Dole, Bush, McCain, Palin- The hits just keep on coming.

    1. Plain won’t be the nominee. She’s tainted.

      I think the GOP is likely to have a darkhorse make it through in 2012. If we’re lucky, it’ll be someone like Gary Johnson. But people like us, we’re not usually lucky in politics.

      1. Palin. She’s not plain, whatever her failings.

        If only Michael Palin could run! Yes, he’s likely a liberal, but at least he’s damned entertaining.

      2. How do you know she’s tainted, smart guy? Maybe she doesn’t have a taint at all!

        1. With all those kids you’re probably right.

          Probably looks like the Sarlacc.

          1. Episiotomy scars are hot.

            1. :::pssst::: Where can a person find some episiotomy scar pr0n?

              1. psssst, australia. ya gotta go down under ta find that shit.

            2. I don’t think I’ve made a person madder in the last five years than my friend’s wife when I drunkenly proclaimed “I hope I never have to sleep with a woman who’s ever given birth.”

              1. LOL, that’s pretty fucked up, SugarFree! You must have been pretty drunk!

                P.S.: thanks for the tip, brotherben. I’ll be sure to pass it along to my friend.

                1. That was a joke. I have no idea where to find pron as I, ummmmm, don’t, ummmm, partake in such prurient entertaintment.

                  1. Yeah, I figured, er, my friend figured as much.

              2. Laser. Vaginal. Rejuvenation.

                Now with your choice of settings.

                Normal
                Tight
                Virgin
                4 year old

                1. “My girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day. I told her that was a big word for a seven-year-old.”

                  1. That joke’s a classic. I’m trying to remember what comedian to attribute it to.

                    1. As with most jokes with unclear attribution, the answer is: Andy Rooney.

                    2. F’real? You also could’ve inserted a Carlos Mencia joke.

          2. So did George Lucas’ fear of vaginas lead him to create the Sarlacc? It sure as hell looks like it…

            1. Maybe. Either that or LSD and an article about vagina dentata.

  21. X,

    Make sure to explore the links at the end:

    The Dark Underside Of America’s Obsession With Cat Ownership

    The sad, almost perverse domination cats hold over their owner’s lives is celebrated all over the internet. One of the worst offenders and a website surely worthy of a mental health study is icanhascheezburger.com (“I Can Haz Cheez Burger”). This has become one of the most popular destinations online, a bizarre cult of cat worship that almost seems inspired by Bastet’s debauched festivals. Much like the ancient Egyptians, people today have anthropomorphized their pets to the extreme, giving them human emotions and an offbeat and deep-throated human language that they exchange in endless pictures and comment sections. In this inexplicable fantasy world, cats are obsessed with eating freshly-grilled cheeseburgers and command their human owners to do all sorts of odd tasks around the home. The photos on this website reveal the clumsy and unclean interiors that your average cat owner inhabits: open food containers, dirty laundry, gigantic television screens, old couches everywhere.

    1. You clearly have a gift for finding the crazies out there.

      1. Birds of a feather and all that.

    2. I would bet that 95% of homes in America – maybe 99% – at some point in the day contain either an open food container or dirty laundry.

      The other homes are inhabited by brooding teenage vampires with only one set of clothes.

    3. “giving them human emotions”

      On the Discovery Channel we learned that dogs (and to a lesser degree cats) do have human emotions, contrary to what was originally thought. What dogs lack is the part of gthe brain that humans have for critical thinking. In other words, dogs are very emotional, they just have no ability to adequately process it. Just like women.

    4. The internet is for …
      1) Porn
      2) LOLCats

  22. Most people assume pussies are easy to care for, but once they’ve come into possession of one they realize this is far from the truth.

    So, so awesome.

    1. I’m surprised more people don’t simply rent, rather than own, them.

      1. Cat: The Other White Meat.

        1. Even better:

          Celebrity chef Beppe Bigazzi upsets viewers with his cat casserole

          http://www.timesonline.co.uk/t…..029058.ece

          1. I can’t believe they didn’t use the phrase “catserole”.

      2. Renters tend to really mess up the ones they occupy. Since they aren’t intending to be there permanently, they really run roughshod all over them. They know they’re just going to rent a new one soon enough.

  23. The hits just keep on coming, love that site:

    A Candid Talk About Butt Sex

    Whatever the case, gay behavior and their love for a sexual act that’s marinated in the foul juices of homosexuality, a juice full of sin and combustive it will burn forever in hell, remains a mystery.

    1. Yeah, that site is superbad.

    2. The author looks to be queer as they cum.

      1. Yeah, that’s part of the joke.

  24. gay jetpacks? Is their exhaust rainbow-colored?

    1. Rainbow striped and glittery.

  25. A Candid Talk About Butt Sex

    The Golden Girls article blessed us with the term “butt romper,” for which we shall ever be grateful.

    1. Thinking of changing your handle?

  26. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/t…..026317.ece

    World may not be warming, say scientists

    “The temperature records cannot be relied on as indicators of global change,” said John Christy, professor of atmospheric science at the University of Alabama in Huntsville, a former lead author on the IPCC.

    The doubts of Christy and a number of other researchers focus on the thousands of weather stations around the world, which have been used to collect temperature data over the past 150 years.

    These stations, they believe, have been seriously compromised by factors such as urbanisation, changes in land use and, in many cases, being moved from site to site.

    Christy has published research papers looking at these effects in three different regions: east Africa, and the American states of California and Alabama.

    “The story is the same for each one,” he said. “The popular data sets show a lot of warming but the apparent temperature rise was actually caused by local factors affecting the weather stations, such as land development.”

    The IPCC faces similar criticisms from Ross McKitrick, professor of economics at the University of Guelph, Canada, who was invited by the panel to review its last report.

    The experience turned him into a strong critic and he has since published a research paper questioning its methods.

    We concluded, with overwhelming statistical significance, that the IPCC’s climate data are contaminated with surface effects from industrialisation and data quality problems. These add up to a large warming bias,” he said.

    So does “professor of economics” outrank “terminal degree in poly sci”?

    1. Dammit. The Big Profiteering Corprashuns got to him too. It’s a sad sad day for mother Earth and he furture of all mankind. Oh the humanity.

    2. Let’s ask Paul Krugman.

      1. Let’s heckle and throw nine volt batteries at Paul Krugman.

        1. D-cells have better flight characteristics.

          1. especially when used to power a rail gun.

            1. Dammit, that’s it. I’m subscribing to your newsletter, brotherben.

    3. And if most of the historical thermometer record is contaminated and unreliable, just imagine how inaccurate and worthless the so-called “proxy data” must be. And that’s without even taking into account the deliberate fudging of cretins like Phil Jones!

      I can understand why Christy’s astounding statement isn’t getting any attention in the media; it obliterates the evidence for pretty much every claim the alarmists have ever made.

      1. Such warnings are supported by a study of US weather stations co-written by Anthony Watts, an American meteorologist and climate change sceptic.

        His study, which has not been peer reviewed, is illustrated with photographs of weather stations in locations where their readings are distorted by heat-generating equipment.

        Some are next to air-conditioning units or are on waste treatment plants. One of the most infamous shows a weather station next to a waste incinerator.

        Watts has also found examples overseas, such as the weather station at Rome airport, which catches the hot exhaust fumes emitted by taxiing jets.

        In Britain, a weather station at Manchester airport was built when the surrounding land was mainly fields but is now surrounded by heat-generating buildings.

    4. Why not quote the end of the article too?

      Kevin Trenberth, a lead author of the chapter of the IPCC report that deals with the observed temperature changes, said he accepted there were problems with the global thermometer record but these had been accounted for in the final report.

      “It’s not just temperature rises that tell us the world is warming,” he said. “We also have physical changes like the fact that sea levels have risen around five inches since 1972, the Arctic icecap has declined by 40% and snow cover in the northern hemisphere has declined.”

      The European Centre for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts has recently issued a new set of global temperature readings covering the past 30 years, with thermometer readings augmented by satellite data.

      Dr Vicky Pope, head of climate change advice at the Met Office, said: “This new set of data confirms the trend towards rising global temperatures and suggest that, if anything, the world is warming even more quickly than we had thought.”

  27. Well, so far the only thing Obama has proven himself good at is giving speeches! He is kinda like a pit bull with no teeth! All bark, no bite!

    Jes
    http://www.privacy-tools.de.tc

    1. That just leaves him with leg-humping tha american public.

      1. Your wisdom is so folksy, anonymity bot.

  28. UCSD Unhappy With ‘Ghetto-Themed’ Student Party

    SAN DIEGO — UC San Diego administrators are condemning a weekend ghetto-themed party thrown off-campus by fraternity students to mock Black History Month, but they aren’t likely to discipline anyone, it was reported Wednesday.

    The so-called Compton Cookout event urged all participants to wear chains, don cheap clothes and speak very loudly, The San Diego Union-Tribune reported. Female participants were encouraged to be “ghetto chicks.”

    The invitation read, “For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks — Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes …,” the Union-Tribune reported.

    http://www.10news.com/news/22588063/detail.html

    1. No one got shot?

      They failed at their Ghetto Party.

  29. Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes

    So the only difference between ghetto chicks and redneck chicks is gold teeth vs. few teeth? Interesting.

    1. The seemed to have left out a booty you can serve tea on.

      1. Ooooo! BB, your sexbot can have a booty that it can serve tea from! Not just on.

        That’s actually not a bad idea. Have a spigot right above the top of the crack that gives forth the beverage of your choice.

        1. That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘tapping that ass’. Ah ha ha ha ha ho, what do I win?

          1. A year’s supply of shame.

            1. Damn…guess I might as well win it early in the year, then.

              1. People will probably forget around April or so.

                1. Probably because I’ll make an even lamer joke by then.

                  1. Don’t be so tough on yourself. I thought your “tappin that ass” line was the best of this thread.

                    1. Get a room, you two. Jeez.

                    2. Thanks, double b. I knew SugarFree was just funnin’ me. I don’t think he’s kidding about the room part, though. Maybe we should really get a room.

                    3. and give the mrsbrotherbenbot2000 something else to get cranky about? I don’t think so.

                    4. Yeah, that’s true. You’d have to build her a McGreeveybot to keep her company or something.

    1. “Admits to”! Excellent phrasing, SF!

    2. Sounds awful. . ly awesome!

    1. Jesus, he’s dumb. Of course, Sully may not have written it any way.

      All his arguments boil down to going “lalalalalala” when someone mentions Medicaid.”

    2. Geez…and he (emotionally) accuses ‘Murricans in general of being emotional.

    3. I clicked over, which is rare for me because I generally refuse to give the old pervert any web hits. It is of course a maddeningly stupid posts. But since it doesn’t involve Sarah Palin’s vagina, SugarFree is probably correct in saying that it is a ghost blog and not really Sullivan.

      1. I’ll admit, I’m jealous. I wish I were important enough to have people ghost blog for me.

        1. I mean ‘envious’. Shit!

          1. blame it on your ghostwriter.

            1. I like the way you think, double b.

        2. Well, the paid staff allow Sullivan to indulge himself in his various obsessions.

          1. I’ll ghost write for Sully if the price is right and if he wouldn’t mind the general low quality of my blog postings (his audience probably wouldn’t notice the diff!).

  30. Thinking of changing your handle?

    No, but Epi told me he was.

  31. *Inhales deeply*

    PAUSE

    Well, you know, that snowboarding
    .
    .
    .
    thing…

    *Inhales deeply again*

    …with . the . pot . andallthatshit.

    .

    Well…

    It’s kinda like…

    *Inhales deeply again*

    .. a Canadian…

    ..thing.

    Eh?

    *giggles*

    1. I imagine the performance enhancement comes from the fact that the pot chillaxes them to the point that they don’t freak out and think “Oh man! If I don’t land this I’m gonna Christopher Reeve my dumb ass!” and thus they perform better.

      They should run an experiment using alcohol instead of pot. Many a grand tale has begun with the expression “Hold my beer. Watch this!”.

      1. I can’t speak for athletes but when playing video games stoned, I tend to get excellent tunnel vision. Completely unaware of anything in the room. I also seem to get a much higher level of concentration on the task at hand. I can only assume that the way that THC bridges our synapsis’, our brain becomes more efficient in some ways.

        1. I also seem to get a much higher level of concentration on the task at hand.

          Pretty much my experience back in the day when I was studying for finals.

        2. It ruins my aim though….

  32. Are the stoner snowboarders gonna become pitchmen for Subway. A Subway Club samich is damn near perfection when a person has the munchies. (That’s what I hear anyway)

    1. Sober, I think Quizno’s is better. But Subway has the better prices.

      1. Blimpies in Boise Idaho used to make a damned fine sandwich. alas, that was a long time ago.

      2. Must be differences in quality from store to store. My Quizno’s is terrible. The Moe’s, Shane’s and Five Guys in the same plaza consistently have lines out the door while Quizno’s sits empty. Went there once when we were in a hurry (Moe’s was packed). We learned that day why it was empty. Just awful. Haven’t had good Subway in years either. Ingredients not as fresh as they used to be. For good subs around here we have to eat non-chain.

        1. Must be. Then I’ve eaten at Subways that were more or less awesome and also Subways that kinda sucked, too. I’ve only eaten at two different Quizno’s, but I thought they were both great. Regardless, I wouldn’t blame anyone for not putting up with a substandard sandwich. Anyone can make a substandard sandwich.

    2. Little Caesar’s Crazy bread and sauce. It’s not as good as it used to be, but oh, man…

      1. Little Caesar’s is quite tasty. Tasty and economical.

        1. Continuing the drunk stories…

          I looked up from eating LC while just blind drunk with a brilliant insight on LC’s favorable price vs. quality issue, but it came out “Is fuckin’ good garbage pizza!” When pressed by my wife to explain, I managed “Little Caeser’s is fine “eatin'” pizza.”

          After 8 years, this is still brought up whenever LC is mentioned.

          This was also the night I drunk dialed my boss at midnight and demand to know how many screens to the left you had to go to get the diamond ring in Pitfall.

          1. That’s some funny shit, SugarFree. Did your boss even play Pitfall?

            1. And you were still playing Pitfall in 2002?

              1. When I start a game, I intend to finish it.

            2. She collects Atari 2600 games, so it wasn’t totally out of the blue.

              We all have a tendency to drunk dial my boss when she doesn’t come to a party. We even once got her to go buy more beer and bring it over. Since she got married and had a kid, we’ve stopped harassing the poor woman.

              1. It’s still damn funny, but it was even funnier when I imagined she hadn’t thought about Pitfall in a decade and a half.

              2. The only time I tried lsd, 6 of us were tripping in a hotel room playing Adventure on an atari system we brought. It was early 1982 and damn, what a great time that was.

                1. Did you happen to find the secret “micro-dot” while you were tripping?

                  1. I don’t remember. I do remember that the bathroom was high gloss white with HUGE mirrors on 2 walls and the door. I got lost in their till a search party of my peers found me.

                    1. I’m kind of an old-school gamer like SugarFree’s boss, but “Adventure”…that takes me way back. That game was brand new in ’82, though, right?

                    2. wiki says it came out in 79.

                      BTW, my favorite arcade game of all time is StarCastle.

                    3. Whooo! Vector graphics! Badass…

                    4. Loved that game.

                    5. It was released in 1979.

                      The total memory used by the game program was 4096 bytes (4 KB) for the game code (in ROM) and 128 bytes for program variables (in RAM).

                    6. Of the classic wave of arcade games, Mr. Do and Moon Patrol are about tied. For the later arcade stuff, nothing beats Smash TV for my quarters.

                      BIG MONEY! BIG PRIZES! I LOVE IT!

                    7. Mr. Do kind of looks like Pac Man and Dig Dug had a baby,

                    8. Whoa, looks like Dig Dug and Mr. Do were contemporaries.

                    9. I liked Konami’s “X-Men” arcade game, “Marvel vs. Capcom” and later on “Soul Edge”. Of course, because of my age, it was mostly console gaming while I was growing up. I think Dreamcast was the system where console graphics caught up to arcade graphics.

                    10. My only goal in life is to buy the X-Men arcade game. The one with the four controllers.

                      I swear I could masturbate to those memories, even if I never got to be Nightcrawler because my brother would beat the shit out of me if I tried.

                    11. I’d buy the shit out of that game, too. I have a lot of fond memories involving it.

                    12. Which was the 4 player that had the balls to include Sub-mariner? He’s like Aquaman’s older, lamer cousin or something.

                    13. Might be this one. Nowehere near as cool as the X-Men’s game.

                    14. Mr. Do! does have the unfortunate side-effect of giving people nightmares about being crushed by huge apples dropped on them by sadistic clowns.

                      But that’s a small price to pay.

                    15. I wish Max Ernst would have lived long enough to see the electronic surrealism of “Pac Man” and Mr. Do!”

                    16. Loved that one, too! And, for some inexplicable reason, I was really good at it from day one.

                    17. Adventure was a staple in my early gaming years. Even earlier was the old text-based Colossal Cave Adventure.

                      Xyzzy.

                    18. Xyzzy.

                      Nothing happens.

                    19. Oops, wrong thread. Plugh.

  33. Watts has also found examples overseas, such as the weather station at Rome airport, which catches the hot exhaust fumes emitted by taxiing jets.

    Man-made warming it its purest form.

  34. Deep, thoughtful analysis, as usual, from A Sullivan. “People are stoopid!

  35. Times are tough, over at the White House.

    “It’s hard to get out positive news stories when people tend to focus on what’s going wrong as opposed to what’s going well,” Valerie Jarrett, a top adviser to Obama, told Reuters in an interview.

    1. This administration has done more pathetic whining in just one year than most do in an entire term.


  36. Obama administration to put up $8.3 billion in loan guarantees for two new nuclear plants.

    This is a bullshit move. They don’t need loan guarentees, they need deregulation. Those plants won’t even get licences from the NRC or break ground until 2012. At which point he or his sucessor can easily renege.

    Why does it take two years to get a license for construction from the NRC? Do they have grad students individually writing dissertations on each application? It’s not like these plans havn’t been around for years, possibly decades.

    1. Not likely to change. My father-in-law worked as a nuclear plant design engineer in the 60’s and 70’s. Even back then, if a light switch failed to turn on the lights in a room of the plant, it was considered a documentable safety violation and had to be reported.

      I regularly sell items to a particle acceleration facility. I am constantly amazed at the supremacy of the safety engineers on that site. You have to wear a face shield and a protective jacket to switch a 110V circuit breaker in that facility. It’s not unusual to see 4 safety engineers watching 2 guys cut concrete in the middle of a field, all with hard hats on.

      1. I’ve worked at a couple of national physics labs.

        I was once made to fill out a (one page) form and wear an apron, safety goggles, safety shoes, and approved leather gloves (marks “Lead Only”) to move painted lead bricks from one place to another.

        Had they not been painted it would have been a three page form, and the addition of a clean room suit and an approved carbon filter resperator.

        Cutting lead meant bunny suits.

        I kid you not.

        The safety guy can veto anything on site.

        And when a guy got Darwined at a lab on the west coast, our lab on the east coast had a mandatory four day stand down for safety training for users as well as staff.

        1. Gotta’ know. Was it APL?

          1. JLAB

      2. Think of the terrible consequences if one of those hadrons gets loose and hits somebody!

        😉

        1. Hopefully they’re wearing athletic protectors. I’d hate for a hadron to rack me in the family jewels.

          1. Laugh it up, but I’m a victim of quantum tunneling.

          2. I wouldn’t want a hadron in the hardon, either.

            1. Oh, crap, I just got a boson in the eyeball.

  37. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. … Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.

    Reminds me. In high school in ’86 I went through a grunge period (yeap, before Seattle, it was basically what all potheads at the time wore before it was defined as the grunge look), and a guy who was both a friend and rival to me complained about what I wore, and how I needed to prep it up.

    I told him he dressed like a homosexual and walked away. In his defense, all black dudes dressed like homosexuals in 1986.

    1. Considering that you were high school age, I suspect that the word you used to your ‘friend and rival’ was not “homosexual”.

      (Just a hunch.)

      1. Black dudes then dressed like homosexuals, i.e. neat. Hairband metalheads dressed like fags, i.e. glam, e.g. sloppy eyeliner and a lot of rouge.

        So, no your hunch would be mistaken.

        I may have been a pothead, but my favorite poet was Swinburne so my language sensitivity (in other words, queerness) was second to none.

      1. Good point there. Though they did hook up with that metal band that used a lot of eye shadow. But then again, it was 1986 so all metal bands dressed up as transvestites.

        1. Back in ’86, probably the manliest thing going on were a troupe of skinny Jews who called themselves the Beastie Boys. In spite of the Gipper being president, it was not exactly the most rock ribbed times in our nation’s history. We were kind of like the NBC Sports Night of decadal trends, where the manliest dude is the nebbish Keith Olberman. Come to think of it, Tiki Barber does dress like a fashion refuge from 1986 minus the Cosby sweater.

          1. And while I’m just pulling shit out of my ass, was there any tune that rocked harder in 1978 than the supposedly Disco, ‘Everyone’s a Winner, Baby’, by Hot Chocolate? Maybe something off of Van Halen I, but I would still put it to the test.

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