The Devil Is My Facebook Friend
Jeff Caruso of Network World reviews a year's worth of panicky media reports and picks the top 10 ways Facebook and Twitter are allegedly destroying our lives. For example, a story asserting
that using Facebook and playing computer games will give children rickets. The basis for the claim was more reasonable – spending too much time indoors means you get less sunshine and therefore less Vitamin D, which in turn means you are less able to fight off the bone-weakening disease rickets.
Some writer apparently made the leap that those kids are spending their indoor time on Facebook and, ergo, Facebook causes rickets. In this case, the misquoted professor managed to get the word out that he was taken out of context.
[Via Infocult.]
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that using Facebook and playing computer games will give children rickets
That's stupid. Everyone know Mr. Burns' sun blocker is to blame.
May I suggest that interminable media harping on the virtually non-existent threat of child abduction has done more to keep children indoors than anything else?
You may suggest it, but you would be wrong, if not an actual molester.
The threat is even greater now that aliens walk among us. The UN was looking into it this weekend, so it must be impoortant.
And guess who those aliens are after? That's right, the children!
Suggest away. Sounds about right to me.
Week kneed parents who allow their children to dictate how and where they spend their time. Unplug the computer, video game and the TV and kick your kids to the outside world. You are the parents. Don't be your childs friend. Be their parent.
You can do it Bobby.
http://www.suckitupcrybaby.com
That's stupid.
I would never have gone outside either, if going outside was my fucking assignment from my parents.
I went outside to get AWAY from those a-holes and do what I wanted. Not to better obey them.
Maybe kids would go outside again if going outside meant actually gaining the freedom to do something without supervision again. Now every outdoor activity has to be supervised, has to build character, and has to involve lots and lots of safety gear. I would have said, "Fuck this shit."
"Get in the goddamn car NOW, Fluffy, you're late for field hockey!"
The media pedo scares that have turned kids into chairbound wretches have really softened them up for life in my dungeon. Thanks, Dateline!
The new iPad has broad spectrum light emitters to infuse your hipster offspring with Vitamin D while he or she spends the day staring at the Flash-free device.
Hey there have you heard about my Facebook friend?
He's nerdy and small and doesn't judge me at all.
He's a netwired bundle of joy.
My Facebook friend.
I like to dip and daddle with my Facebook friend.
He's smart as can be and privacy-free
And he's status-ing his way to my heart.
My Facebook friend.
My Facebook friend.
My Facebook friend.
My Facebook...friend.
I like to dip and daddle with my Facebook friend.
Ew.
I'm de-Friending you right now.
I'm de-Friending you right now.
If you don't take the full course, he'll just come back worse than before.
I showered and showered after the first time he tried to dip and daddle me. It took me months to feel clean again.
His appetites are as vagarious as they are gross.
Wow, you mean people actually use Facebook? Why, when there is MySpace.
jess
http://www.be-invisible.es.tc
Puzzle that one out, Anonotologists.
But is His omission of Live Journal even more telling?
So, he's an opium-using military veteran who prefers Myspace to Facebook. Ummm 'k.
And what the hell is with that "jess"?
It's the anagram of the initials of a shibboleth known only to those who have been received into The Mysteries.
Sounds about right.
Jews Equal Satan's Siblings
Military vets prefer MySpace when trolling for underage skank. Just ask Scott Ritter.
(Sadly?), Ritter looks the type.
Looks the type? He just got busted for soliciting online again. He is the type.
No, I was commenting on how dudes who like underage girls don't always *look* like the type of schlubs who like underage girls. Ritter, oddly enough, does.
You'd think the guy would've gotten help at some point, but I guess not.
I feel like a little girl!
OK, I get you now. It's kind of like how people think I'm a respectable suburban citizen until I open my mouth.
Hey kiddie, want to find the WMD?
Anonymity Guy is becoming my favorite commenter.
I'm not alone!
The Art, stop spoofing The Jesse.
No, really. Anon bot is the greatest in "is this humor intentional or not?"
The "opium in the morning" quote remains one of the greatest single sentences I have seen on this website.
Blame sunscreen. There's a big debate between the Vitamin D advocates and the dermatologists. The Vitamin D folks actually blame most skin cancer (and just about every other modern malady) on lack of "D"!
The Devil is my facebook friend?!?! But the only people I added who I don't know personally are Reason staffers!
Vitamin D is being linked asthma, heart disease, autism and quite a few other problems. I work for a bunch researchers studying the link between asthma and vitamin D. I drag my kids out whenever there is sun, and take supplements, of course the research results could change in 5 years, but right now it seems pretty solid.
An interesting look at the friending in Facebook and social media. My number is more like 5, while my wife's is closer to ? . Hence the good match in social situations, it's like having a constant briefing.
http://www.physorg.com/news183791343.html
That is interesting stuff. Thanks for the link.
Alternatively, the funnier version.
I was already laughing after this part:
Trying to blame Facebook for teen suicide is utter crap. As everyone who lived through the 80's knows, the sole cause of every teen suicide throughout recorded history is Heavy Metal music. Al Gore's wife said so.
I blog the business news every day and today was the most paranoid ever. See attached post. I couldn't imagine trying to get all of these stories for a year in one place, I could barely keep up with today.
If you don't take the full course, he'll just come back worse than before. Just for some laughs...funny Facebook Status .