Capitalism

Chavez: Capitalism "Road to Hell" Paved with Booze, Barbies, and Playstations

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World in Flames, indeed

Venezualan leader and radio personality Hugo Chavez, offering yet another unwitting endorsement of capitalism in his weekly address this Sunday:

The capitalist countries "promote the need for cigarettes, drugs and alcohol so they can sell them. That's capitalism, the road to hell."

Also:

"Those games they call 'PlayStation' are poison. Some games teach you to kill. They once put my face on a game; 'you've got to find Chávez to kill him.'"

The Guardian explains:

Chávez was referring to Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, a game featuring a villainous Venezuelan tyrant that bore more than a few similarities to the outspoken leader. It no doubt angered the him further when the game turned out to not be very good.

He also talked some smack about Barbie, proposing that she be replaced with "little indigenous dolls."

Reading between the lines about life under capitalism: Drugs and alcohol are easy to buy, video games—including ones where you can shoot Chavez in the head—are widely available, and there are also Barbies.

Read a great essay by a Venezuelan on life without video games, which were banned last fall, here.

NEXT: Coakley's Gender Gap

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  1. The capitalist countries “promote the need for cigarettes, drugs and alcohol so they can sell them. That’s capitalism, the road to hell.”

    The Soviet Union tried Alcohol Prohibition during the 80s (through heavier taxation and other idiotic impositions) and it lead directly to its collapse, once Russian men started to sober up and see things with a clearer mind. Chavez should be careful about what he advocates.

    1. O. M. , then how do you explain all of us drunk libertarians?

      1. O. M. , then how do you explain all of us drunk libertarians?

        Walmart had a big Tequila sale?

      2. We saw things clearly and decided it wasn’t worth the frustration?

    2. Now the Russians are wisely back to promoting intoxication for all. It’s more conducive for “getting stuff done.”

  2. He also talked some smack about Barbie, proposing that she be replaced with “little indigenous dolls.”

    This reminds me of a strange criticism made by the Mexican government’s Institute of Consumer Protection of Barbie dolls, back in the 80s, urging parents to buy and promote more indigenous looking dolls and traditional dolls (goes without saying that traditional Mexican dolls are good only for the curios shelf and not for playing.)

    That government agency as many in the Mexican government back then were filled with ex-patriate Chileans and other socialist slugs. They did not understand people’s tastes back then, just as Chavez misunderstands people’s tastes now.

    1. Not to mention that there ARE plenty of Barbies that aren’t white and blonde.

      1. Back then I think there was a black Barbie and maybe a Latina Barbie (same Barbie except with more melanin), but little girls were NOT buying the black Barbie, at least, not in Mexico.

        1. No, they weren’t, because everyone knows Mexicans hate black people.

          1. Well, at least little girls did not want the Black Barbie – I don’t know about the rest of the Mexicans…

            And it is not true they dislike black people. They just dislike black Americans. I know this because many Mexicans are quite partial to Brazilian black beauties, but not so much fat welfare moms with 10 kids.

            1. Ouch!

            2. Yeah, it was a kindof half-kidding statement, but wow, way to bring out the big guns, LOL.

              1. Disclaimer:

                My comments on this blog are meant for the morbid enjoyment of the lazy and half-ass-job-done employees who have too much time to kill, and are not meant to be taken as profoundly engrained views on fat welfare moms with 10 kids.

                1. OM-Better watch out for Tulpa and other easily offended control freaks who find racism everywhere.

                  1. You mean that I should go into hiding?

        2. Just for the record, my younger daughter was quite insistent about getting “the black Barbie” when she was about 6. I thought it was cute.

          1. Yes, but is your daughter Mexican?

      2. But ARE there any dolls with Negro dialect?

        1. No, but they have the advantage of having lighter skins!

          1. Ah, I like a redbone.

            (What the hell are the origins of “redbone?” Anyone?)

        2. Yes. Chatty Shanequa.

          (pulls string) “Oh no you di-hin’t!”

  3. “Those games they call ‘PlayStation’ are poison. Some games teach you to kill. They once put my face on a game; ‘you’ve got to find Ch?vez to kill him.”

    God forbid Venezuelan kids are taught to kill their fearless leader . . .

  4. So, as an Xbox 360 owner, I’m okay?

    1. If you live in Venezuela, probably not – the constant power outages will prevent you from playing anyway . . .

      By the way, I had experienced several power outages when I was living in Monterrey (that’s Mexico), but when I moved to Houston, these were extremely rare, only happened during very severe storms (Texas has a totally unregulated energy market). Only when I moved to California (which has a pseudo-deregulated market) did I experience power outages again – what gives? I thought I moved to a totally different country!

      1. “Texas has a totally unregulated energy market”

        Tell that to the Public Utility Commission of Texas:

        http://www.puc.state.tx.us/

      2. It’s not totally unregulated, but they decreased regulations quite a bit a few years ago. I remember hearing griping about higher energy costs, but can’t remember the details.

        1. Hey, compared to the regulated beast it was, Texas now has an unregulated energy market. Yes, energy costs are higher because they truly reflect the market.

          1. Yeah, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Especially when I see all the people I live with consume energy with relish and without care. Yes, you need to pay for that, ma’am.

    2. Mercenaries 2 is multi-platform – I’m just throwing that out there.

      Mercenaries (the first one) was pretty good – a lot of fun blowing up Koreans, Russians, and Chinese factions. I read a lot of bad reviews for the sequel, which kept me away from it.

      1. I enjoyed it. It wasn’t the greatest, but it was a fun sandbox game. Nothing like dropping MOABs on small cities when you’re bored.

        1. Yeah, that’s a big part of what made the first one fun. Dropping ridiculously overpowered ordinance on one specific structure is always a good time.

      2. Yeah, but where can I get my evil Islamic terrorist kill on?

        1. CoD 4 – Modern Warfare

          But it’s a few years old now, and most people have moved on to Modern Warfare 2. You get Russian ultranationalists and Brazilian militants in the current iteration, not Islamic terrorists, sorry.

          1. Thanks, but also, when do I get to fight zombie terrorists?

            Left 4 Dead 3 hopefully.

            1. World at War has Nazi zombies – maybe Modern Warfare 3 will have islamo-terrorist zombies!

              New Orleans zombies aren’t cool enough for you?

              1. I felt bad shooting those attractive, scantily-clad men and women. Still can’t get past the bridge in 3 minutes though.

    3. Well, it does give new meaning to the “Red Ring of Death.”

  5. You really have to be a complete power-worshipping asshole to have anything good to say about Chavez anymore.

    1. Chad should be along any minute.

    2. Paging Noam Chomsky to the red courtesy phone.

      1. He’s still in mourning over that agrarian reformer, Pol Pot.

  6. In less than two years, this POS will be dead.

    1. Hah, that’s what they said about Castro.

    2. Let’s do a Long Bet on this.

      1. They should merge their oppressed peoples into one nation, Cubazuela. Or Fuckedupya.

  7. You think Microsoft or Nintendo should talk to him about doing a commercial? The PS3 did cranking business this last quarter, after all.

  8. Honestly, the game made my head look too small. It made me look like Minny Driver.

    1. As long as there’s no neck and a Senor Winces gob on top, it’s clear who it’s supposed to be.

    1. Someone send Hugo the Bratz movie. Maybe his head will explode and that will be the end of him.

  9. Hugh Hefner spent the 70s selling mags, sponsoring Jazz fests, and doing coke of Barbi Benton’s tits.

    Now he’s 90 with a rotating bevy of attention-addicted women more than willing to fondle his ever-slackening scrote.

    If this is hell…

    1. Cheer up, Jeff. Thanks to capitalism, you stand a chance of living that way, too.

      1. (You can disregard my “cheer up.” I misunderstood you at first.)

      1. Just young enough to have a shot at robot immortality.

      1. Technically, in case you care, she is not a Playmate in the strict sense of the term. She appeared nude in Playboy a few times, but never on the centerfold.

        1. I did not know that’s what clinches that title of Playmate. Thanks for the info tidbit.

          1. You’re welcome. Also, Playmate and Bunny are not synonymous terms?although some women can claim both titles.

        2. Can anyone explain why boob jobs have managed to become more fake looking? Can we have a little progress on this?
          At least some symmetry, so the girl’s torso’s don’t resemble Marty Feldman.

          1. Lawsuits against silicone implants, of dubious scientific merit. Thank tort lawyers.

            1. “The first silicone breast implants are developed by two plastic surgeons from Texas: Frank Gerow and Thomas Cronin.”

              Not surprising in the least.

              The movie Breast Men was about them, although they changed the doctors’ names, I think. It was a decent movie, but I was like, 11, when I saw it so maybe my movie critiquing opinions were not so well-formed.

  10. Capitalism “Road to Hell” Paved with Booze, Barbies, and Playstations.”

    At least in capitalism the road is paved.

    1. Threadwinner.

    2. YES, in Venezuela, Chavez’ solution is MAKE MORE 4×4 vehicles.
      (no shortage of alcohol consumption there, either!)

    3. Then please explain Vermont.

  11. This clown never ceases to amaze me. Any 3rd Grader can figure out a country is going down the (un)paved road to failure when they’re a major energy exporter with rolling blackouts.

  12. Well when you’ve run your country plumb into the ground with socialist idiocy, you need to gin up some external devil enemy to to divert the population’s rage and attempt to blame their plight on someone other than yourself.

    Chavez isn’t the first tinpot dictator to try that and he won’t be the last.

  13. Australians take note.

  14. Isn’t the fearless leader building an AK-47 factory there? I remember hearing about some arms deal… Maybe the gunfire can light up the night sky?

    1. Isn’t the fearless leader building an AK-47 factory there?

      That would certainly give the aphorism “Any idiot can make an AK-47″ a thicker veneer of truth.

      1. I am no idiot.

        1. Mikhail, I said make, not design. I revere your genius for creating the ultimate freedom weapon – one that is cheaper than a rifle and less prone to break up than a baseball bat.

  15. I moved to California

    *guffaws, slaps knee*

  16. Hugo Chavez is the Pat Robertson of South America.

    If no one paid attention to him, he’d be a greeter at WalMart.

    1. It’s kinda hard for Venezuelans to ignore him.

  17. Speaking of California’s “energy deregulation” there was a great quote at the time from some guy (who worked for Enron, if I recall correctly)about how, “It’s not my job to teach the State of California how the energy futures market works.”

    1. Enron apparently didn’t know, either.

  18. Chavez objects to violent video games? He started his career as a paratrooper.

    As for alcohol, please, no cerveza has ever escaped him if we judge based either on his belly or his oratory.

  19. But he was democratically elected!

  20. In all seriousness though, he’s probably my favorite evil person. Says the darndest things…

  21. trust democracy. hugo is doing god’s work in some of the toughest neighborhoods in caracas.

    1. god’s work? You mean Hades’? Or Ares’?

      1. joe | October 17, 2008, 2:47pm | #

        God bless ACORN, out there registering 13 million new voters. They’re doing God’s work in some of the toughest neighborhoods in America.

        1. God prefers rigged elections?

  22. Those games they call ‘PlayStation’ are poison.

    At least get your insults straight, you pudgy communist whackjob.

    But, yes. TRUST DEMOCRACY because strategically losing a meaningless referendum to keep fellow travelers deluded wouldn’t ever cross a dictator’s mind.

  23. For a guy who dresses like Mario, he sure hates video games.

  24. Is there any good greater than the voice of 50.00001% of the people?

    1. The greatest good is lobster girl side boob. I thought we all settled this long ago.

  25. After Hitler, you’d think governments would have learned the lesson: “Execute coup leaders now, before they win power in elections and rewrite the Constitution to suit themselves.”

    Instead, the Venezuelans let 1994 coup leader Hugo Chavez live. Idiots.

  26. Wow… a Tony-less, Chad-free thread. Whodathunk?

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