I'm Just a Simple Lawman


The Arizona Republic reports that in his deposition for a class action suit against him and his department, Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio testified that he hasn't read his own book on immigration policy.

Less surprising but still sort of startling to see in print, the sheriff conceded he is "not well-versed" on the Fourth Amendment.

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  1. Huh, I always thought he was an evil man who should be hanged for his crimes. But now you’re telling me that he might just be an ignorant child-thing who should be put to work with a mop?

  2. A lawsuit is fine, but Joe needs to be locked in a cage for the rest of his life and never again feel the sun shine on his face.

    1. I don’t know, that sun down in Old Mexico can be fairly punishing.

  3. the sheriff conceded he is “not well-versed” on the Fourth Amendment.

    It’s pretty long, with lots of big words.

  4. I’d be laughing if I weren’t crying.

  5. he hasn’t read his own book on immigration policy.

    He wrote the damn thing; what does he need to read it for?

    1. He heard that the galleys were ready, but he thought they were just talking about his latest creative means of detention.

    2. Why read it when you can just have your ghostwriter summarize it for you: “wetbacks are bad, mm’kay”.

    3. He wrote the damn thing; what does he need to read it for?

      The thing that scares me is that it sounds like that’s the logic he’s using.

  6. “I’m just a sheriff. I only know words like force… and incarceration… and rape.”

    1. Arpaio was not unresponsive.

      Quick, someone find a slashfic writer to whip one up.

    2. “Well I’ll tell you what, as long as I get these arrests, I don’t give a crap what he does. He’s a winner in my book. In fact, I’m gonna make a couple of sheriffs tonight. Start a restaurant with ’em, call it “Pigs”. I’m gonna work on that name, too, because that does not seem good to me.”

  7. like Kissinger, he doesn’t read books, he writes them.

    I wonder if his admission of ignorance on the 4th amendment might in and of itself be an admission of professional incompetence, in some meaningful way. Like, couldn’t a defendant now make some reasonable claim that there is no way Maricopa county can be operating in compliance with the law?

    1. I mean, “in some legally meaningful way”

  8. Sheriff Lonewacko Senior really, really needs to be put out to pasture.

    Since they don’t have any pasture in Arizona, I’ll settle for sticking him in the middle of the desert without any water.

    Seriously though, last week someone linked to a talk by Phillip Zimbardo, the “leader of the notorious 1971 Stanford Prison Experiment” on how evil is institutional in nature, and how power without oversight is a recipe for abuse and brutality. Reading above about Arpiao’s willingness to “delegate” sounds a lot like that to me, especially since he’s obviously given signs he wants those arrested in Maricopa county to be harshly treated.

    1. “Evil is the exercise of power to intentionally harm people psychologically, destroy them physically and commit crimes against humanity.”


  9. Also (I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating) – I went to the site for the Gun Owners of America, and they had a hagiographic line about ol’ Sheriff Joe, and his “respect for the Constitution”. No, I am not joking.

    Someone replied that GOA was basically a money machine for its founder, and that the Second Amendment Foundation was a far better organization if you want to donate for gun rights. I don’t doubt either claim.

  10. Well lets just have ourselves a simple hangin’!

  11. There are, he says, seven social processes that grease the slippery slope of evil:

    mindlessly taking the first small step

    dehumanization of others

    de-individualization of self (anonymity)

    diffusion of personal responsibility

    blind obedience to authority

    uncritical conformity to group norms

    passive tolerance of evil through inaction or indifference

    and that particularly in new or unfamiliar situations

    1. Hence, the pushing of the spiritually bankrupt crappola that one is honorable who “dies or gives his life for a cause greater than self.”

    2. “de-individualization of self (anonymity)”

      So that’s where it all went wrong…

  12. He may not be “well versed” on the Fourth, but he sure as shit is going to get a lesson in the Fifth and Fourteenth and due process.

  13. Less surprising but still sort of startling to see in print, the sheriff conceded he is “not well-versed” on the Fourth Amendment.”

    And which law enforcement officer is??

    Don’t be too hard on the good Sherriff Arpaio . . . he is just doing what every other law enforcement person in this land does: Use the Constitution as toilet paper.

    1. And which law enforcement officer is??

      I would say most. They don’t want their cases getting thrown out in motions. They are very well versed in how to “legally” get around it. The problem is most people are too scared, too stupid, or just don’t give a shit enough to say “you got a fucking warrant?”.

  14. It’s getting very strange here in Maricopa County as far as the justice system goes — the judges, prosecutors, defenders and sheriff seem to be at war with each other, and they’re all suing and indicting each other as fast as they can. Personally, I’m hoping for an old fashioned western shoot out.

    1. That’s the best news I’ve read all day.

  15. I ain’t read the Bible either, but I still knows God hates queers, wetbacks, an’ coloreds. That’s why the Declaration of Independence says only white straight men can vote for Miss America.

    1. Amen.

      1. An’ ah say agin . . . Amen, Amen!

  16. I haven’t found an officer yet that can quote, or even come close to quoting any portion of the bill of rights.

  17. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yn75tv…..r_embedded

    From the comments in the linked article. This moron testified in court he has never heard of the Southern Poverty Law Center. I’m no fan of the Southern Poverty Law Center’s shitastic work in finding racism anywhere they get paid to look, but is it even possible for a law enforcement officer to have never heard of it?

    1. As a whole, wouldn’t you agree that they are not exactly intellectual heavyweights?

      1. Uhhhhh….I was taught to not say anything at all if I can’t say something nice. Well, actually I wasn’t taught it all that well.

        I don’t see a lot of cop types as being all that interested in the rights of other people. Or the law in general, aside from what they can arrest us for.

    2. He would know it if he had ever clicked ‘n’ learned.

  18. Looks like a misprint.  It should be, “I’m just a simpleton law man.”

  19. It was a deposition — he was just playing dumb. This happens all the time. Joe’s a cagy critter. LOL Can you imagine what would have happened had he said that he understood the 4th Amendment? He would have been cross-examined on minutiae. The same with his book. As a lawyer, I find what he said amusing and understand why he said what he said. Gotta love our judicial system.

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