Policy

Dennis Kucinich Explains How Roy Rogers' Horse Will Hustle Out the Health-Care Rustlers, "Or Something Like That"

|

Dennis Kucinich really wants health-care reform to include a public option. Given the Congressman's fervent advocacy for a single-payer system, that's not surprising. But he sure has a strange way of making his case.

Rather than send out a traditional issue-advocacy email urging followers to support his cause, he's sent out something more resembling abstract pop-culture poetry. From a Kucinich-penned mass email I just received titled "Roy Rogers' Horse Saves Health Care":

So, Boys and Girls, return with us now as the Senators will take a page from out of the old West. They are going to do what cowboy hero Roy Rogers did when he got in a jam: Call for Trigger, the Golden Palomino. Trigger, the trusty steed who road to glory against those phantom cattle rustlers who sold insurance against physical harm, provided however that the small town marks bought the stolen beef.

In this scene Trigger will come off his mount of glory at the Roy Rogers and Dale Evans Museum in Branson, Missouri and gallop to the mount of glory on Capitol Hill, rear up a dazzling 24ft, and by his sheer electrifying presence rescue the US Senate and the Administration from today's rustlers.

It is Washington, DC, so they promptly slap on a confused Trigger a corporate blanket with corporate logos from insurance companies: Pre-Existing Trigger. Lower Cost Trigger. Patient Access Trigger. The Senators will jump on this horse and ride straight for the sunset. Giddy-up Trigger, past that broken down Public Option dray horse. Gallop into the conference committee with full force. Charge!

I am carried away by prospect of rescue by the one horse I can believe in. Sadly, Trigger will never save us from the rustlers. He'll just stand there, mounted, in all of his spectacular equine power ever poised to spring into action, ever ready to hustle out the rustlers, or something like that.

Thank you.

Um, you're welcome? 

Dave Weigel talked with Kucinich about Washington in wartime here.

UPDATE: Kucinich has sent out an updated version. Does it make any more sense now? Not so much. Here's the correction note at the top of the new email:

CORRECTION: The following is a retransmission with the corrected version. Correct a misspelling in previous email in paragraph #2. It should read: "rode" to glory NOT "road" to glory.