'We Do Not Advocate Attempting to Glue the Leader of the Free World to His Chair'

Yesterday former Sen. Zell Miller (D-Ga.) told legislators at a meeting of the American Legislative Exchange Council in Atlanta that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel should put "Gorilla Glue" on the Oval Office desk chair because "our globe-trotting president needs to stop and take a break and quit gallivanting around." Today the Gorilla Glue Company, eager to seize a marketing opportunity, sent out this press release:

The Gorilla Glue Company Responds to Zell Miller's Recent Comments  

We Do Not Advocate Attempting to Glue the Leader of the Free World to His Chair

News Facts

In response to Zell Miller's recent comments, The Gorilla Glue Company sends letter to President Obama.

• The response was sent today from the desk of Peter Ragland, President, The Gorilla Glue Company.
• The Gorilla Glue Company does not advocate the gluing of President Obama to his chair with their product. 
• The quality adhesive products produced by the company are for the toughest building and repair jobs.
• Gorilla brand products are created with strength and toughness as the goal.
• The Gorilla Glue Company is a family owned business located in Cincinnati, Ohio. 
• Gorilla Glue represents just the type of growing small business that President Obama mentions as the job creators in our country. 
• Gorilla Glue continues to: create new jobs, boast of no lay-offs, provide healthcare for all full-time employees and proudly make all products in the USA.

Quotes

Attributed to Peter Ragland, President, The Gorilla Glue Company:

• Zell Miller's recent comments have thrust our product and company into the limelight. 
• While our products are known for being strong and tough we certainly would not advocate attempting to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair.

Note, by the way, that the Associated Press consulted a couple of black leaders (the Rev. Joseph Lowery and state Rep. Tyrone Brooks, head of the Georgia Association of Black Elected Officials), about whether the reference to "Gorilla Glue" should be deemed racially offensive. I'm hoping that was a joke.

Comments

[Tulpa]

Just wondering how closely related to monkeys an animal name has to be for this to be racist. For instance, if you made an Obama joke involving pygmy marmosets, would that be racist?

[Forty-Two]

gorilla???

RACIST!

[Episiarch]

Let's ask joe.

[Mad Max]

These Gorilla Glue people should have known that a politician would have referred to their product in connection with criticism of a black President.

This is truly a sticky situation. We need to adhere to our commitment to civility. Let us not be attached to racial stereotypes.

[Oatwhore]

What's racist is calling people, or claiming to be, a "black leader."

[Jeff P]

The continued existence of animals once used as racial slurs cannot be tolerated.
Gorillas, monkeys, and jungle bunnies must be hunted to extinction.

[Ben Kenobi]

Gorilla Glue should pay reparations for all the money its made off of its racist name.

[smartass sob]

I wonder if that product could be used to glue Biden's mouth shut.

[hammeredHead]

I would have actually preferred a reference to a plane flight to Costa Rica for Obama instead of Gorilla Glue.

[something about the constituti]

"...the Leader of the free world..."

I don't remember seeing that in the job description. I guess if that's the way Gorilla Glue feels, I need to find another glue. Too bad, really.

[James Anderson Merritt]

"Note, by the way, that the Associated Press consulted a couple of black leaders (the Rev. Joseph Lowery and state Rep. Tyrone Brooks, head of the Georgia Association of Black Elected Officials), about whether the reference to 'Gorilla Glue' should be deemed racially offensive. I'm hoping that was a joke."

Nope, just paid product placement. I hope all those who fast-forward through commercials with their DVRs understand that THEY are to blame for this! Shame! Shame!

[IceTrey]

The thing about Gorilla Glue is that the objects to be glued need to be moist for it to work.

[Tulpa]

Now if blacks were treated like Naive Americans, we would have sports teams called the Gorillas with a cartoon black guy as a logo. And then we'd be told that the name honors black people because gorillas are fierce and strong.

[BeesInTheBrain]

Whats would be funny is if they added "Not to be used to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair." to their product warning label.

[Tulpa]

While our products are known for being strong and tough we certainly would not advocate attempting to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair.

Am I the only one creeped out by "Leader" being capitalized here? Besides, everyone knows that Pelosi is the power behind the throne.

[Mister DNA]

Does Gorilla Glue advocate their product being used to glue Joe Biden's lips shut?

[Mad Max]

'I would have actually preferred a reference to a plane flight to Costa Rica for Obama instead of Gorilla Glue.'

That's Honduras, Philistine!

'I wonder if that product could be used to glue Biden's mouth shut.'

I can nae werrik miracles, Cap'n!

[anarch]

Won't someone please think of the chairs!

[Anonymous]

"leader"

We're not in Putin's Georgia. It's okay -- you don't have to grovel like that. The office is of "president," elected as a representative. In no was is that leading, unless you're involved in all-seeing-eye shit.

[Mister DNA]

Sorry, smartass sob - I didn't see your comment.

[TallDave]

the Leader of the free world to his chair.

Hey, hey, hey! None of that arrogant "leader" or exclusionary, fist-clenching "free world" talk for Obama!

Obama is the Open-Handed Apologizer-in-Chief of the Pollutors/Oppressors.

[TallDave]

Now if blacks were treated like Naive Americans, we would have sports teams called the Gorillas with a cartoon black guy as a logo.

If Native Americans complained more, they'd have a President by now.

[The Libertarian Guy]

"whether the reference to 'Gorilla Glue' should be deemed racially offensive"

White Dude: I'm going to the store.
Black Panther Party member: What are you buying, racist honky piece of trash?
White Dude: Milk.
Black Panther: I KNEW IT! Milk is white! Farrakhan was right!

Jesus tapdancing Christ.

[Tulpa]

To be fair, this isn't like the chimp shooting cartoon in the NYP; the racism angle is the first thing that popped into my head upon reading Miller's comment. Why didn't he refer to a better-known brand like Krazy Glue or Super Glue instead?

I wonder if some politicians are using the (correctly) derisive treatment the ridiculous cartoon criticizers got as cover to make their own borderline racist comments with impunity.

[The Libertarian Guy]

Oh, come on... Miller's no more racist than Robert Byrd.

Oh, wait...

Seriously, why the trigger-finger? IMO, Miller picked that brand for reasons OTHER than racism. Sometimes, people aren't, y'know.

[Schempf]

Fuck Gorilla Glue, we need to tar and feather Obama.

[The Libertarian Guy]

No, that won't help. Besides, violence isn't going to fix what Obama's doing to the country.

Look, folks, we're WAY too uptight. I got chewed out a couple of years ago by an authentic latte-sippin' liberal who said, quote, You are racist because you do not support affirmative action, unquote.

This is like about a year ago, when Hannity was told this nugget by a moron from the New Black Panther Party:

"You don't interrupt a black man. That's racist."

Much as I despise Hannity, he flubbed by not having a dictionary on the desk so that Colmes could look it up for him, and read it to the hatemonger guest in question.

[The Libertarian Guy]

"...violence isn't going to fix what Obama's doing to the country"

I forgot to add "but if things get desperate enough, someone might go stoopid and start being violent".

[Anonymous]

No, that won't help. Besides, violence isn't going to fix what Obama's doing to the country.

It would make 'em dead.

[James Anderson Merritt]

# TallDave | July 17, 2009, 7:30pm | #
## Now if blacks were treated like Naive
## Americans, we would have sports teams called
## the Gorillas with a cartoon black guy
## as a logo.

# If Native Americans complained more,
# they'd have a President by now.

Pay attention to spelling in the original post. "Naive Americans" already do have a President of their very own. (Actually, to be fair, they have elected several in recent cycles...)

[Hawaii]

If Native Americans complained more, they'd have a President by now.

You don't hear the Kenyans and Indonesians complaining.

[James Anderson Merritt]

Just saw several reports from various parts of the country that Walter Cronkite is dead at 92.

[Douglas Fletcher]

"I wonder if that product could be used to glue Biden's mouth shut."

How will we know what stupid people think, if we do that?

[anarch]

I hate, hate, hate when a low-hanging marketing opportunity goes wasted.

Oh-oh. Can I refer to low-hanging anything on this thread?

[TallDave]

You are racist because you do not support affirmative action, unquote.

Heh. If you don't support government-mandated racism, you are a racist.

[smartass sob]

Now if blacks were treated like Native Americans, we would have sports teams called the Gorillas with a cartoon black guy as a logo.

No, but we might have sports teams called the Watusis or the Zulus, or even Massai.

[Mad Max]

Guerilla Glue, hard and sweet
Sticks the Commander-in-Chief to his seat

The President looks in the mirror and speaks
'I'm really cool, but my supporters are geeks'
Unpaid bills, in Afghanistan hills
[I kept that last line like it was in the original]

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay

[heartEzra]

I wonder if that product could be used to glue Biden's mouth shut.

Not a chance! He'd have to stop flapping his lips long enough for the glue to cure.

You could try to get it in his lungs. Though ill-advised we might end up with a cyborg VP equipped with Hawking voice. Who knows what awesome cyborg powers this could enable!

[hmm]

Gorilla glue?

That shit doesn't work.

[Britney]

nice post...
___________________
Britney
Entertainment at one stop

[Solanum]

Britney, even as spambots go, you suck. Please die.

[Warty]

That shit doesn't work.

Use the clamps! Give 'im the clamps!

[Art-P.O.G.]

. "Naive Americans" already do have a President of their very own.

I thought that was the best RC'z Law ever. It's a shame I didn't notice it first.

[prolefeed]

Gorilla glue?

That shit doesn't work.

It works fine. It's holding some formerly loose soles of my running shoes in place.

[Art-P.O.G.]

It works fine. It's holding some formerly loose soles of my running shoes in place.

I see the down economy's gotten to you, too. 😉

[Anonymous]

Use the clamps! Give 'im the clamps!

Gee, you think? You think that maybe I should use these clamps that I use every single day at every opportunity? You're a freaking genius, you idiot!

[Kreel Sarloo]

"Gorilla Glue represents just the type of growing small business that President Obama mentions as the job creators in our country."

And the kind of business most likely to be destroyed by his policies.

[hmm]

It works fine. It's holding some formerly loose soles of my running shoes in place.

Dear god I hope you don't run any distances in shoes with glued soles. Your poor feet.

[J sub D]

'I would have actually preferred a reference to a plane flight to Costa Rica for Obama instead of Gorilla Glue.'

That's Honduras, Philistine!

If you had been following the situation in central America you'd know that Costa Rica is where the Hondurans sent their legally deposed President. hammeredHead got it right.

[Neu Mejican]

Dear god I hope you don't run any distances in shoes with glued soles. Your poor feet.

And how, do you suppose, the soles of your shoes are attached when they are manufactured?

Hint, they are glued on...

http://www.madehow.com/Volume-1/Running-Shoe.html

[twv]

I would have used "Gorilla Glue" instead of "Krazy Glue" or "Elmer's Glue" for one reason, and that reason isn't racist: alliteration.

Some words are just funny. "Krazy Glue" might SEEM funny, but it tips its hand, and is no more funny than something called "Funny Glue."

But "Gorilla Glue" sticks . . . in memory. Therefore, a better citation.

Names aren't magic, but they are important.

[smartass sob]

It works fine. It's holding some formerly loose soles of my running shoes in place.

Goop works much better for that and is easier to use.

[Jesse Walker]

This whole story feels like a Don Martin comic.

[hmm]

And how, do you suppose, the soles of your shoes are attached when they are manufactured?

Hint, they are glued on...

Lets follow the logic in the conversation.

- I say the glue sucks.
- I glued the soles of my shoes when they became loose. (this means the shoes have probably been worn and are either worn out or defective if they came apart)
- I say, "Your poor feet" if you run any distance in the shoes that I assumed to be defective or worn out.

Having run, a lot. I know that shoes are specifically designed to be used to a point where their use is no longer viable. The sole, stability, cushioning, and structure is designed to last for a time per the number of miles and weight of the runner. When the shoes wear out they can and do cease to function as designed. Runners are often capable of telling when the shoes have started to wear out by just the feel alone. Your calves or ankles often start to hurt or you can start to feel fatigue in areas before you normally do. Your assertion that shoes are originally glued is correct in most cases, it also has absolutely nothing to do with my comment about his poor feet.

Running in worn shoes or shoes past their time is a mistake. Even for casual runners, especially for heavy runners.

Gorilla glue still sucks.

[hmm]

God that was an epic waste of time.

[Hussein]

Names aren't magic, but they are important.

No, no they're not. They're not important, no.

[Chris]

This is the kind of zany news item that makes me happy to be alive! 😀

[R C Dean]

Now if blacks were treated like Naive Americans,

RC'z Law. The gift that just keeps on giving.

[Tulpa]

Hmm, I've read some of the comments on Gorilla Glue vs. Krazy Glue, but I'm not convinced. For better or worse, southern white Senators, especially Republicans and conservative Dems, have to be extra careful not to give even the vaguest hint of racism in their comments. Remember Trent Lott getting deposed for delivering an off-the-cuff compliment at Strom Thurmond's birthday party? It's even worse in this case, as it was a prepared statement.

[BradK]

Wasn't this a recent "Mad Men" story line?

[TOTUS POLUS]

I wonder if that product could be used to glue Biden's mouth shut.

No, no, no, no! That's the last thing we'd want. In reality, Biden's main "gaffe" all this year has been blurting out the inconvenient truth at the very moment when his boss is trying to spread a well-crafted lie to the public via his adoring rectum lickers in the press. (Case in point: "We misread the economy.") A politician who tells the truth, however unintentionally, is generally a net benefit to us all.

What we really need to do is lace his drinks with Sodium Pentothal which, while it's not really the "truth serum" some advertise it to be, does have the effect of loosening one's tongue. Since Biden has already demonstrated an inability to believe his own party's lies and a difficulty concealing what he really thinks, a little chemical encouragement to his babbling could yield enough entertainment to cheer us all up for however much longer we have to put up with having this Jimmy Carter redux and his fellow commies in office.

[Sammy]

ARE YOU ALL SERIOUS! WASN'T THAT WHOLE THING STUPID TO START OFF WITH. "Gorilla" Glue is racist? really? I suspect the brand meaning was that gorilla's have a strong grip and so does the glue. Maybe we should change the names of anything having to do with plants and animals - "leaves" of a table, better change that, we've offended trees and tree-huggers! Ford Mustang - oops, just offended horse people! etc.... come on people, get a grip!

[Lamar]

"Hmm, I've read some of the comments on Gorilla Glue vs. Krazy Glue, but I'm not convinced. For better or worse, southern white Senators, especially Republicans and conservative Dems, have to be extra careful not to give even the vaguest hint of racism in their comments."

True, but cyano-ass-crylate just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Jaque Deville]

As soon as you mention the word racism, all of the sudden people line up to confirm or deny it's existence. Gorrila Glue just got some free publicity, calm down children.

[Dalton Direct TV Georgia]

Really? It seems crazy to me that there were offended by this that Gorilla Glue had to officially make a statement. I think the company was just trying to be clever with their advertisement.

[Ellie MIller]

Really? It seems crazy to me that there were offended by this that Gorilla Glue had to officially make a statement. I think the company was just trying to be clever with their advertisement.