Conspiracy Theories

Gov. Mark Sanford Disappears?


In a developing story that I hope has a happy ending (or proves to be a non-story ultimately), the would-be stimulus refusenik and small-government maverick South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford hasn't been seen by colleagues or family since Thursday. (His lieutenant governor's office reports getting a phone call from him today.)

In the New York Daily News's account, a state senator, Jake Knotts, who often butts heads with Sanford seems to think his governor's help might be urgently needed, what with this whole Iran situation. But Ms. Sanford says she isn't worried; "He was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids." His state security detail won't comment on whether they know his whereabouts.

As Sanford has been talked about as a potential small-government GOP presidential candidate next go-round, Knotts notes:

Sanford would have to quit taking mystery vacations if he wants to trade the corner office for the Oval Office.

"If he don't like the security that SLED gives him in South Carolina, he's going to absolutely hate the Secret Service if he runs for President. They'll go in the bathroom with him!"

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44 responses to “Gov. Mark Sanford Disappears?

  1. Actually he has been “found” and is in touch with his Aids. Still no explanation though . .

  2. Oh and that’s “aides”.

  3. Shit, they got to him.

  4. If this story is as accurate as “developing” stories generally are, he’s been standing slightly outside the reporters’ peripheral vision the whole time.

  5. The sluts at MSNBC were all over this a little while ago. OMG! What are the repercussions for the Republican party? Will it taint Sanford’s brand? Where IS he?!! Tamron Hall nearly creamed her jeans. Jesus H, it was funny.

  6. He’s actually in the Swat valley doing one man commando raids against the Taliban.


  7. If you would read Ron Paul dedicated sites or even the comments section of your own story then you would realize that Sanford’s “embrace” by Ron Paul’s fans is largely a creation rather than reality.

  8. Breaking news: Governor Mark Sanford has aides!

  9. He was probabbly “reeducated”. Soon he will come out in favor of Obama’s health care plan.

  10. Everybody should get aides.

  11. Sanford is a true conservative!

  12. Tamron Hall nearly creamed her jeans.

    Be still, my beating heart.

  13. Jake Knotts sounds Presidential.

  14. “If he don’t like the security”

    Am I an elitist because that bothers me?

  15. “He was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids.”

    On Fathers Day? I think he just lost the “family values” vote.

  16. Sanford sucked my dick one night – worthless jagged SC lawmaker.

  17. you bitch!

  18. Fucking pretty talker you are, huh John C? Yeah, grammar is some seriously elitist bullshit and will be crushed under the foot of the revolution.

  19. Sanford-bot, activate! Christ, I’m starting to think Interface was less of a thriller and more of a prediction.

  20. yoikes –

    Ahh, on reading that thread, turns out the reviews on Sanford were mixed, mostly because he probably doesn’t believe in evolution. The only “nonsupport” on that thread came from…you.

    So don’t puff your shit up bigger than it really is.

  21. I guess someone told him to take a hike.

  22. In some past Reason coverage of Sanford, he wears libertarianism as a badge of honor; gets embraced by Ron Paul fans; and tries to refuse stimulus money.

    If he’s a libertarian then odds are 9 billion to 1 against his ever getting close to the White House. He’ll find some way to shoot himself in the foot.

    Besides, if he isn’t in favor of absolutely wide open borders, he’ll never get anyone’s vote around here anyway.

    But even if he’s as pure-white as the driven snow, in today’s world he’ll never got within a light year of D.C. without making a few, uh, compromises.

    OTOH, I’ve heard people make noises about Praterus (sp?) making a run for it on the R ticket next time around. But past history says that in the next POTUS election, the R’s will run a really really big dope so as to allow the O-boy his second term. Like they did with Clinton.

  23. Knotts.

    Imagine that a former cop and coroner has issues with someone libertarian minded. Who’d a thunk it.

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    It’s where cougars and younger men can meet(Cougar is the slang for woman who is mature, experienced and want to date with a younger man). No matter you are looking for a NSA or serious relationship, please do check it out!!!

  25. Ahh, so Sanford was getting a little NSA action with the cougars, thanks Ruth!

  26. Much ado about nothing; Sanford’s staff knew where he was, and his wife wasn’t worried. The legislator who made the biggest stink about the matter was one of those GOP faux conservatives who has detested Sanford for quite a while.

  27. I am not sure why the man, a Governor from a small southern US state, needs to be in his office due to the situation in Iran. He may be off hiking, or visiting his mistress, or perhaps he wanted to catch the last round of the US Open. If his wife is not concerned let the man enjoy a week off. As a Californian I wish our Governor would go missing until Christmas and take the legislative body with him. That group is sorely in need of mistresses so they could stop screwing us.

  28. A tale spun by his second in command who lusts for the bigger house? Sanford perceived as serious gop up and comer so must be diminished a chunk at a time?

    Who knows, but it just ain’t important to me. Let him go walk-s-bout…

  29. This non-story is going to come up in every future mention of Sanford in the media; the Democrats already have crippled a potential threat to their hegemony.

  30. This non-story is going to come up in every future mention of Sanford in the media; the Democrats already have crippled a potential threat to their hegemony.

    Wait… huh? I don’t see how this cripples Sanford. He went off hiking for a few days to clear his head and finish some writing. When I first read about this on Yahoo (I know, ew, I don’t want to talk about it) the first thing I thought was, “damn… I love this guy!”

    Reminds me of Aragorn and shit. The man is a real-life protagonist of an epic novel. I’m in!

  31. That group is sorely in need of mistresses so they could stop screwing us.

    They’re sorely in need of getting their dicks cut off.

  32. The Angry Optimist –
    Can you show me the Ron Paul supporters embracing Sanford? From such sites as the Campaign for Liberty or Daily Paul, I would say that they are divided about Sanford.

  33. The Angry Optimist –
    P.S. In the other thread there are also the following messages, so I am not the “only nonsupport” (among Ron Paul fans) for Sanford.

    from Sean Scallon: “If you spend more time examining the situation and chat rooms of the Paulities you’ll find there’s a consensus developing that Paul should run again rather split our forces trying to decide to support the underwhelming Gary Johnson or Mark Sanford.

    Yes Ron will be 76 by the time 2012 runs around and that’s a strike against running. But right now he’s getting even MORE attention than he did throughout the campaign. People know him now. And in the wake of everything that’s happened, they know he’s some old kook or crank. They what he said came to pass. Why then start all over with someone 99% country doesn’t even know, have to spent at least year just to introduce him to maybe 10 percent of the population and then hope he catches fire?

    Ron Paul had a national following long before 2007. Neither Gary Johnson nor Mark Sanford have that and its not something you can just manufacture. I can’t imagine anyone holding a sign over an overpass for either men. Not that that by itself alone wins campaigns, as we saw in 2008 it does not. But if RP plays his cards right and builds a better, more structured organization that still takes advantage of his grassroots following, he’ll be in much stronger position in 2012.”

    From Brandon:
    “I think Sanford can excite those Republicans still under the delusion that their party can someday be made to follow through on its limited government, liberty-friendly rhetoric, and those Republicans who don’t take Palin seriously. But when push comes to shove I don’t think he can excite those libertarians and Paulites who have “escaped the matrix”. This stimulus grandstanding only demonstrates that he’s more interested in being a politician than being a serious advocate of liberty.”

  34. That group is sorely in need of mistresses so they could stop screwing us.

    Do you realize that you may have just solved one the biggest problems a representative democracy has?

  35. yoikes, get real. Even if we invented a magic machine that could rewind Ron Paul to a 45 year old body, he wouldn’t be able to win. The racism story would break if he started polling strong, and that would be the end of that.

    Assuming nothing else went wrong, which is a big huge assumption.

  36. Ebeneezer Scrooge –
    I did not comment on Ron Paul’s chances at another Presidential run, I disagreed that Ron Paul fans have embraced Sanford.

    As for the racism story, I have listened to hours of Ron Paul clips covering decades of interviews and debates, and I have yet to hear him make a racist remark. I would not withdraw my support from a candidate because of fears of his chances in the face of false accusations of racism. I challenge anyone who thinks Ron Paul is racist to produce a youtube clip of him saying something racist.

  37. Too weird, over Fathers Day.
    It had to be an emotional or mental escape,
    or religious, or his hiking parner was a TOTAL BABE!?

  38. UPDATE II: In a real “I’m sorry I ever blogged this story” turn, the Palmetto Scoop website speculates that Sanford may have gone hiking in such secrecy because he may have been “naked hiking.”

    You’ve never actually been to Burning Man, have you? As in, actually walked around there.

  39. yoikes,

    As for the racism story,

    I’m with you on this one. I just think it’s the kind of skeleton that would come to life in another Ron Paul run.

    Whether Ron Paul supporters would fall behind this guy is an entirely different question.

    I wish we had a decent candidate who had half a chance of making it. Seems they’re few and far between.

  40. Sanford was in South America.



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