Supreme Court

Q: Why did Obama Pick VP To Take Lead in Picking New Supreme Court Justice? A: Biden May Be a Rule-Breaker Who Stands Up While Riding on Amtrak, Lies About Where He Eats Breakfast, Cheated in College, and Plagiarizes Nearly Every Time He Opens His Yap…

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…But goddamnit, he gets results!

Or something like that. Joe Biden is the head adviser to the guy who is actually going to draw up the list of the folks who might replace Justice David Souter, who is retiring after being placed in the kid's section (again!) in the Supreme Court's secret vodka bar.

Biden, who cheated his way through law school, is answering "nuanced questions about both individuals and timing" for Obama, which really sounds like a task Michael Corleone would give to Fredo.

But what's the key to Biden, to this fascinating person? Men want to be him. Woment want to be with him. What makes Biden tick? What make him clamp his disturbingly white choppers down like an android cowboy in Westworld chomping on Richard Benjamin's neck?

"He is an enthusiast," says one Biden watcher, unconsciously channeling a Seinfeld episode during which a character in a novel, Billy Mumphrey, is done in by his "unbridled enthusiasm." And Biden's health-conscious, too. He won't even eat next to Interior Secretary Ken Salazar anymore and he's switching to Salvodoran beer until the swine flu thing plays out (which should take about another fifteen minutes).

Biden has a lot on his  plate already:

Biden also has been put in charge of the administration's $787 billion economic stimulus plan. He has traveled the country to tout the legislation's merits, rubbed shoulders with union members, met with educators and talked to local officials. Biden also heads the president's "middle-class" task force, which is looking at ways to reverse economic trends that in the past eight years have left many workers struggling as the costs of health care, education and other essentials have risen faster than their incomes.

More here. If he climbs this mountain, we should suspend the customary wait-and-forget period and immediately carve his mush on Vice President's mountain, right alongside Aaron Burr, Andrew Taylor, Henry Wallace, Spiro Agnew, and Dan Quayle.

Once again, Vice President Biden, we salute you, a real man of political genius:

NEXT: Obama's Gag Reflex

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  1. I bet Joe pulls a Harriet Miers and nominates himself.

    After all, he’s a constitutional law scholar–at Widener!

  2. I think he should definitely choose himself for the Supreme Court. I mean he sounds super awesome, so could there really be a better choice? It would mark him in all three branches within the course of a year. That’s pretty cool.

  3. Once again, Vice President Biden, we salute you, a real man of policital genius:

    Joe’z Memorial Law makes a rare appearance in a post, rather than in comments.

    So Joe Biden is in charge of both the administration’s economic policy and filling a SCOTUS position. Joe Biden?!? How is Obama filling his days?

  4. First Biden makes the front page of The Onion and now this?

    He is running out of ladder to climb.

  5. Let’s face it. Joe’s experience makes up for all the lack of experience of Barack. He’s Barack’s Cheney, if you will…smart, shrewd, etc. It takes amazing talent to lie and cheat, be discovered and keep your job. He is major leagues good.

  6. The VP has a most appropriate name for that position as he is Biden his time until the president dies.

  7. which really sounds like a task Michael Corleone would give to Fredo.

    I never saw LOTR, is this a good or a bad?

  8. Also, RC Dean, Nick’s posts are often seasoned liberally with typos. I have given up on pointing them out, lest I anger the gods with a violation of Joez Law.

  9. lest I anger the gods with a violation of Joez Law.

    Like leaving out the possessive apostrophe in “joe’z?”

  10. Hey, Biden’s smart. He can handle things. He’s not dumb, like everybody says. He wants respect!

  11. I wish I could be like Joe Biden. If only I didn’t have my morals.

  12. which is looking at ways to reverse economic trends that in the past eight years have left many workers struggling as the costs of health care, education and other essentials have risen faster than their incomes.

    Was that in the WaPo article? Someone needs to tell those hacks the campaign season is over. Obama needs them rested and ready for 2012.

  13. Hey, Biden’s smart. He can handle things. He’s not dumb, like everybody says. He wants respect!

    Of course he’s not dumb. Idiot doesn’t necessarily equal dumb though 😉

  14. Also, RC Dean, Nick’s posts are often seasoned liberally with typos. I have given up on pointing them out, lest I anger the gods with a violation of Joez Law.

    True, but not just any typo brings out the joe. It has to be a typo in a post insulting someone’s intelligence.

  15. So I have a question, when is anyone going to investigate his finances?

    The guy claimed to have a net worth of $150k prior to the election. But he’s made over $4 million just since he’s been in the senate. He’s been in the top 5% of income earners for each of the last 30 years. Even in the last decade, he’s made over $1.5 MM.

    Something is missing. It is virtually impossible to make that much money for that long and have so little to show for it.

    My assumption is that he’s giving away his money and assets to family members to skirt disclosure laws – and they will merely give them back to him when he retires.

  16. I wish I could be like Joe Biden. If only I didn’t have my morals.

    Lack of morals or not, or intelligence, or not, in any context, I would rather die than be trapped inside the head of Joe Biden.

  17. “Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., fighting to salvage his Presidential campaign, today acknowledged ”a mistake” in his youth, when he plagiarized a law review article for a paper he wrote in his first year at law school.

    Mr. Biden insisted, however, that he had done nothing ”malevolent,” that he had simply misunderstood the need to cite sources carefully.”

    And then he was punished for it, retook the class, and passed it.

    Loo, was anyone louder than I was about what a crappy VP pick Biden was back when he was chosen (check the arhcives)? But dude, that’s pretty far from “cheated his way through law school.”

  18. Mr. Biden insisted, however, that he had done nothing ”malevolent,” that he had simply misunderstood the need to cite sources carefully.”

    Say it with me: “I-mis-interpreted-the-rrrules.”

  19. Say it with me: “I-mis-interpreted-the-rrrules.”

    Isn’t that what a lawyer’s job is?

  20. joe is back! Oh, it is just MNG. Never mind.

  21. But dude, that’s pretty far from “cheated his way through law school.”

    It’s called “hyperbole”.

    That’s a literary device where the author exaggerates to emphasize a point.

    And the point is that Biden has a long history of cheating and plagiarism.

  22. I’m surprised that we haven’t seen someting like

    Xeones | May 11, 2009, xx:xxam | #

    Yo, #@%! Joe Biden.

    Yet.

  23. J sub D – just for you.

  24. TAO,
    I knew what was coming before I clicked.
    Still made me chuckle though.

  25. Even in the last decade, he’s made over $1.5 MM.

    Something is missing. It is virtually impossible to make that much money for that long and have so little to show for it.

    I can assure you, it is entirely possible to make $150K / year, year after year, and piss it all away.

    You are attributing immorality where incompetence at living within one’s means will suffice.

  26. My assumption is that he’s giving away his money and assets

    Hookers and blow, dude. That’s a step up from strippers and beer, and that kept me broke for years.

  27. Hookers and blow, hookers and blow.
    Ev’ryone wishes for hookers and blow.
    How do you measure its worth?
    Just by the pleasure it gives here on earth.

    Hookers and blow, hookers and blow.
    Mean so much more when I see
    Hookers and blow decorations
    On ev’ry Christmas tree.

  28. Biden would be very good at picking people who would make it through the judiciary committee without trouble.

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