Politics

Obama's Gag Reflex

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Which presidential joke at the always-nauseating White House Correspondents Dinner this weekend makes you most want to throw up a little bit in your mouth? Vote in the comments!

1)

Good evening, everybody. (Applause.) I would like to welcome you all to the 10-day anniversary of my first 100 days. (Laughter.) I am Barack Obama. Most of you covered me. All of you voted for me. (Laughter and applause.) Apologies to the Fox table.

2)

David Axelrod is here. You know, David and I have been together for a long time. I can still remember — I got to sort of — I tear up a little bit when I think back to that day that I called Ax so many years ago and said, you and I can do wonderful things together. And he said to me the same thing that partners all across America are saying to one another right now: Let's go to Iowa and make it official. (Laughter and applause.)

3)

On top of that, I've also reversed the ban on stem cell research, signed an expansion — (applause) — signed an expansion of the children's health insurance. Just last week, Car and Driver named me auto executive of the year. (Laughter.) Something I'm very proud of.

4)

During the second hundred days, we will design, build and open a library dedicated to my first hundred days. (Laughter.) It's going to be big, folks. (Laughter.) […] In the next hundred days, I will strongly consider losing my cool. (Laughter.) Finally, I believe that my next hundred days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days. (Laughter.) And on the 73rd day, I will rest. (Laughter.)

5)

Across the country, there are extraordinary, hardworking journalists who have lost their jobs in recent days, recent weeks, recent months. And I know that each newspaper and media outlet is wrestling with how to respond to these changes, and some are struggling simply to stay open. And it won't be easy. Not every ending will be a happy one.

But it's also true that your ultimate success as an industry is essential to the success of our democracy. It's what makes this thing work. You know, Thomas Jefferson once said that if he had the choice between a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, he would not hesitate to choose the latter.

Clearly, Thomas Jefferson never had cable news to contend with — (laughter) — but his central point remains: A government without newspapers, a government without a tough and vibrant media of all sorts, is not an option for the United States of America. (Applause.)

I'll start off the voting with Door #2.