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Barack Obama, Pitchfork Protector

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Hit & Run commenter jsh points us to this Politico article about President Obama giving the business to the nation's top bankers:

Arrayed around a long mahogany table in the White House state dining room last week, the CEOs of the most powerful financial institutions in the world offered several explanations for paying high salaries to their employees — and, by extension, to themselves.

"These are complicated companies," one CEO said. Offered another: "We're competing for talent on an international market."

But President Barack Obama wasn't in a mood to hear them out. He stopped the conversation and offered a blunt reminder of the public's reaction to such explanations. "Be careful how you make those statements, gentlemen. The public isn't buying that."

"My administration," the president added, "is the only thing between you and the pitchforks."

Speaking of Washington taking back Manhattan, the travel section in this Sunday's Washington Post (pictured) was all about Washingtonians…taking back Manhattan, and with barely disguised glee. Sample schadenfreude:

Take back Joe Piscopo!

For so long, they have been taking Manhattan.

They, as in the Wall Streeters who counted their bonuses in increments of millions; they, as in Europeans who laughed at the quaintness of the dollar. The coveted restaurants, the hotels with infinite thread-count sheets, the rarefied atmosphere of cultural centers, the designer shops that sniff at the idea of a sale—it was all theirs.

But the times they are a-changin', as anyone who doesn't live under a rock can readily attest. Increasingly, recession-battered Manhattan is becoming a place that's ripe for the taking, instead of ripe for getting taken. Our moment to reclaim the city has arrived.

NEXT: Recently at Reason.tv: Please Talk Dirty To Me, Alcee!

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  1. “My administration,” the president added, “is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”

    Wow… WOW… this can mean so many things. On the surface, progressives might be happy with such a statement. But dig a little deeper, and to me, it sounds completely antithetical to what progressives expect from the Obama administration.

  2. Who the fuck even talks like that? What a fucking idiot! You need these people, you fucktard!

    Yo! Fuck Obama!

    Inpired by Xeones.

  3. Obama is just a two bit pimp. What a piece of shit. The only bigger pieces of shit are the Washington establishment types like Chris Buckley and David Frum who fawned all over him telling us how errudite and smart he was.

  4. Federal agents protect executives from the ignorant masses?

    That is what Obama said right there. The people who wouldn’t buy that fancy talk are morons. And they really are, so it’s nice of Obama to point that out.

  5. Hey, youse gotta nice company here. It’d be a shame if somethin’ happened to it.

  6. I would call that a gaffe, but no one important thinks he should be embarrassed for saying that.

  7. Glad i could inpire you, Naga. It really can’t be said enough: fuck Barack Obama, yo. Creepy-ass no-business-sense-having thug motherfucker.

    I got a pitchfork in my shed; if it gets to be pitchforkin’ time, it’s not Manhattan i’m heading for.

  8. “My administration,” the president added, “is the only thing between you and the pitchforks and the pitchfork wielders that Congress and I have done our level best to rile up and sic on you.”

  9. My pitchfork is weak. I do, however, have three Machetes.

  10. Hey, youse gotta nice company here. It’d be a shame if somethin’ happened to it.

    Obama, Baby Fark McGee-zax ain’t got nothin’ on you. So, youse gotta lotta space cash, riiight?

  11. “My administration,” the president added, “is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”

    Every Monday morning comes another revelation of just how inept and dangerous Obama is.

    Everyday in small-town Iowa, people are pissed at the rich people that run the world. But this is the normal level of grumpiness that occurs with people on the edge of prosperity for decades and never quite getting there themselves.

    But, these same people are really, really pissed about the bailouts.

    I think alot of folks with pitch forks would love to run into the Obama administration and wouldn’t bother going any farther.

  12. Increasingly, recession-battered Manhattan is becoming a place that’s ripe for the taking, instead of ripe for getting taken. Our moment to reclaim the city has arrived.

    What the fuck are they even talking about? “Reclaim”? When did DC morons ever “claim” Manhattan in the first place? Idiots.

  13. Obama is a pimp. He never could have outfought McCain. But I didn’t know until this day that it was Pelosi all along.

  14. I got a pitchfork in my shed; if it gets to be pitchforkin’ time, it’s not Manhattan i’m heading for.

    Yes, I too have a “pitchfork.” Also, 1000 rounds of “pitchfork” ammo…

  15. Epi,

    1933?

  16. Matt,

    schadenfreude

    I love that word and don’t get enough of it on the intertubes! Can you instruct your staff to use it as often as possible? Even Nick, if you get to instruct to him.

  17. What the fuck are they even talking about? “Reclaim”?

    They want to reclaim it from the productive class. All cities should be blasted hellscapes, filled with sardine-can rent-controlled apartments and have no jobs but fast food and liquor stores for as far as the eye can see. I mean, there’s Newark right there, providing the example of what Manhattan should be.

    Get those rich bastards out to the suburbs, so we can bitch about sprawl.

  18. Naga,

    Who the fuck even talks like that?

    Thugs from Hawaii, wanting to be tough Chicago.

    crimethink,

    I would call that a gaffe, but no one important thinks he should be embarrassed for saying that.

    Huh? Betcha it was pacticed a few times before the meeting.

  19. Our moment to reclaim the city has arrived.

    WTF1!! srsly?

    I kan haz manhattins?

  20. While I agree with many posters that the administration sticking their nose into the mess of the financial institutions will lead to less than desirable results, I would remind all of you that those million dollar bonuses were made possible by previous government “regulation”.

    When you give government domain over something of value, you will eventually see its price determine on the only true free market left in this country…the market where congressional loyalty is bought and sold.

  21. SugarFree,

    You mean like “Idiocracy”? Awesome!

    “Great films, with plots! Where you cared about whose ass it was, and why it was farting!”

  22. HEB,

    Funny you should say that. I just posted a schadenfreude neologism a little while ago. There’s something very schadenfreudey about these times we’re living in, in a sick, going-down-with-the-ship kind of way.

  23. I will run B of A for a mere $100K plus benefits.

    Granted I’ll run it into the ground or over a cliff, but hey, people won’t care because I’m not making millions.

    How hard can it be?

  24. When did DC morons ever “claim” Manhattan in the first place? Idiots.

    They’re still seething because New York kicked them out, and made them go live in that pestilential swamp.

  25. They want to reclaim it from the productive class.

    The gentrification of Manhattan must be stopped! It’s no longer “authentic”! If I can’t get mugged in Alphabet City, it’s all a sham.

  26. Perhaps Obama was having one of those Clinton/Kerry flashbacks to something that never happened?

    Being chased through the streets of Hawaii by pitchfork weilding oppressors and such? Like Kerry with his being in Cambodia for Christmas and hearing Nixon on the radio, or Clinton remembering the Black Church burnings in Arkansas when he was a kid.

    Come on, the guy is a lawyer and a writer! Cut him some slack.

  27. “”My administration,” the president added, “is the only thing riling up the folk to take up pitchforks and torches.””

    Fixed that for ya, prez.

  28. If I can’t get mugged in Alphabet City, it’s all a sham.

    Hell’s Kitchen shouldn’t be a cooking show! Why do you want to put Daredevil out of work? (Oh, that’s right… he’s a scab.)

  29. Somebody should shve a pitchfork up Matt Welch’s ass.

  30. “Somebody should shve a pitchfork up Matt Welch’s ass.

    Awk-ward. Somebody’s beggin’ for a bannin’.

  31. Or, even better… an anti-gentrification PSA: I lone hipster wanders in vain looking for a discarded heroin needle in Tompkins Square Park. The camera pans up to follow a single tear when he can’t find one. A homeless guy gets out a cellphone and offers to call his domestic partner for him.

  32. What’s the deal, Morris?

    Does it cause you some sort of emotional distress when somebody points out The Presidential Suit’s (multitude of) deficiencies and prevarications?

    ps- Fuck that lying douchebag.

  33. shve I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.

    shave
    sheve
    shive
    shove
    shuve
    shyve (sometimes)

  34. Shyve?

  35. A thread of my very own. I have arrived.

    Bask in my reflected glory, everyone, just bask. 🙂

  36. shyve, turkey!

  37. Shyve: Old Eng The past tense form of sheave; to have performed the act of sheaving archaic ex: I have finished my toils in the fields, Father, and can shyve no more today.

  38. “My administration,” the president added, “is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”

    Well Obams IS president 666, so he does have plenty of experience with pitchforks.

  39. Every Monday morning comes another revelation of just how inept and dangerous Obama is.

    Every Monday? Feels like every damned day to me.

  40. Naga just stuck NutraSweet with a shyve in the shower.

  41. From the article:

    “The only way they could have sent a more Spartan message is if they had served bread along with the water,” says a person who attended the meeting. “The signal from Obama’s body language and demeanor was, ‘I’m the president, and you’re not.'”

  42. Shyve is slang for penis?

  43. “Or, even better… an anti-gentrification PSA: I lone hipster wanders in vain looking for a discarded heroin needle in Tompkins Square Park. The camera pans up to follow a single tear when he can’t find one. A homeless guy gets out a cellphone and offers to call his domestic partner for him.”

    You have to have the last scene of him standing on his skate board crying as he overlooks a Cosi and a Gap store.

  44. You have to have the last scene of him standing on his skate board crying as he overlooks a Cosi and a Gap store.

    As long as it’s one of those long skateboards that kind of sags in the middle.

  45. SugarFree,

    You just made that up.

    Epi,

    Well what was he doing in my shower in the first place?

  46. Naga, there was a sears and roebucks and olive oil and a zucchinni and some “mardi gras” beads. You figure it out

  47. Yes, John. But I’d have to go with Starbucks over Cosi. Because you could show the horror on his face at people getting what they ordered without having to be in line forever.

    The Gap is perfect though… we could do a refocus shot where all you can see is a blurry image of capri pants and we pull back to see his eyes brimming with tears.

    I’m thinking Matt & Kim for the soundtrack.

  48. You just made that up.

    Your vocabulary skills are so feeble, I’m surprised you don’t post in grunts and squiggles.

  49. “Yes, John. But I’d have to go with Starbucks over Cosi. Because you could show the horror on his face at people getting what they ordered without having to be in line forever.”

    Don’t forget the horror of people drinking non-free trade coffee. And the skate board needs a faded obama sticker on it.

  50. oh oh, guess who’s back on his home IP! w00t!

  51. Or a T-shirt with that image that makes him look like his intellectual ancestor, Mao.

  52. “Unaware of what year it was, SugarFree wandered the streets desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. SugarFree was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them.”

  53. Can we somehow work TGI Friday’s into this? Or is that pushing it?

  54. SugerFree,

    All we need is a handicam, couple of actors and a weekend in Manhatten and you have a Youtube sensation.

  55. “The Angry Optimist | May 4, 2009, 3:05pm | #

    oh oh, guess who’s back on his home IP! w00t!”

    Chris Kelly beware.

  56. I know a few college friends that bitch constantly about living in Williamsburg.

    And they’ll work for PBR.

  57. TAO,

    What is this . . . TGI Fridays is it? I’m not familiar with it.

  58. “The signal from Obama’s body language and demeanor was, ‘I’m the president, and you’re not.'”

    I am so ashamed that my state helped to launch the pricks presidential campaign.

  59. The Gap is perfect though… we could do a refocus shot where all you can see is a blurry image of capri pants and we pull back to see his eyes brimming with tears.

    …and a crushed PBR can in his hand, which he then flings nervelessly and staggers off.

  60. SugarFree,

    The cool kids call it a youtube moment.

  61. Don’t forget the horror of people drinking non-free trade coffee. And the skate board needs a faded obama sticker on it.

    Non-fair-trade, and that would be a Kuchinich sticker. The starbucks crowd would have the Obama stickers.

  62. Is it too early start using HNIC instead of POTUS?

  63. A thread of my very own. I have arrived.

    Bask in my reflected glory, everyone, just bask. 🙂

    You can’t talk until you have three.

  64. Non-fair-trade, and that would be a Kuchinich sticker. The starbucks crowd would have the Obama stickers.

    That’s “Kucinich”. When you live in Seattle, you learn the spelling of that real quick while riding behind all the Volvo station wagons.

  65. “That’s “Kucinich”. When you live in Seattle, you learn the spelling of that real quick while riding behind all the Volvo station wagons.”

    In Washington it is brand new shinny Prius parked in front of the huge McMansion that was built by tearing down some cute Cape Cod or split level that was built in the original subdivision.

  66. I was up in NYC this weekend and got taken when some douche gave me a counterfeit $20. Ugh. Should I ask Obama for a bailout?

  67. Can we somehow work TGI Friday’s into this? Or is that pushing it?

    Only if you really really want Tom Cruise slinging drinks in your video.

  68. I hate that movie.

  69. Cruise only did the movie thinking it was a sexual autobiograghy.

  70. NTTAWWT

  71. NS,

    I hate that movie.

    BAH! That’s just what you say in front of straight people.

  72. What straight people? You’re all so deep in the closet you’re hiding behind last years wardrobe!

    “Oh no he did-ent.”

    Yes Rosie, I did.

  73. By the way, Kelly McGillis has come out of the closet as a lesbian. This proves that Top Gun is, as I and many others have always claimed, the gayest movie of all time.

  74. You’re all so deep in the closet you’re hiding behind last years wardrobe!

    Oh, please. I don’t keep clothes for longer that 2 seasons.

  75. You’re all so deep in the closet you’re hiding behind last years wardrobe!

    You’re so far in the closet you’re finding Xmas presents.

  76. This proves that Top Gun is, as I and many others have always claimed, the gayest movie of all time.

    Besides her and Cruise who else in it is gay?

  77. With the two leads being gay, then the homoerotic subtext is no longer all that sub. Watch it now, realizing that it is a gay guy making out with a lesbian and then spending way too much time with other guys snapping towels, riding tails, playing beach volleyball, wearing tight jeans, etc.

    And “Goose” is homosexual slang for bottom. Trust.

  78. HEB,

    Fashionable.

    jsh,

    Ah. An adult swim fan as well I see.

  79. SugarFree,

    I kinda suspected Val Kilmer was gay after that teeth chomping thing after Cruise calls him out. Now I now he was simply warning Cruise away from his bottom. Thanks.

  80. Fashionable.

    Yea, so?

  81. SF,

    Wait, and at the beginning of the movie someone says “This is giving me a hardon” and Slider responds “Don’t tease me.”

    Slider went on to star as the boss bike cop in “Pacific Blue”, a show with the whole cast is tight bicycle cop uniforms . . .

    Ok, I now understand.

  82. HEB,

    Getting a bit defensive are we?

  83. Getting a bit defensive are we?

    NO! Who are you talking about? Who have you been talking to? You are just jealous of my wardrobe! Get away before I sock you in your bottom!

  84. -o

    +u

  85. I think Val Kilmer should get a pass for Top Gun, which he agreed to believing in error that it was a sequel to Top Secret. Besides, he was married to Joanna Whalley, which has got to count for something.

  86. The only thing that can be laid at the feet of Val Kilmer’s role in Top Gun is The Haircut That Launched A Thousand Douchebags.

  87. Top Gun

    I can’t believe no one linked to this yet.

  88. And “Goose” is homosexual slang for bottom. Trust.

    Sauce for the goose…

    Time to go to confession. Again.

  89. I’m surprised you don’t post in grunts and squiggles.

    Is there HTML for that? I’m in.

  90. I’m still waiting for someone to resurrect the ghost of Howard Hughes and call bullshit on this government and Congress in particular. Someone needs to put these people in their place.

  91. got taken when some douche gave me a counterfeit $20. Ugh. Should I ask Obama for a bailout?

    He’ll just give you another one.

  92. The Haircut That Launched A Thousand Douchebags.

    No kidding. Every guy I ever met with that haircut was a douche.

  93. ‘I’m the president, and you’re not.’

    So now Obama is doing old Ford schtick in addition to Carter?

  94. Hazel,

    I bet these have been a boon for women’s efforts to identify the douchebag quickly.

  95. Why is the president so hateful of pitchfork manufacturers? Now, because of the president’s blatant intervention in the pitchfork market, the Feds will undoubtedly have to bail out pitchfork companies.

  96. I’m confused. Wealthy NY’ers had slowly been reclaiming Manhattan for a long time, but now it’s time for people from Washington D.C. to go to N.Y. and get stuff cheap? Is that what this man is saying? Any help would be much appreciated.

  97. So is Obama calling us peasents?

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