Reason Morning Links: Don't Eat the Pistachios, Billions Wasted in Afghanistan, and Has Obama Got a Deal for You!

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• Wall Street worries that Obama's GM coup d'état might become a trend.

• The down economy brings out the Malthusians: NY Times editorial writer Eduardo Porter warns of "the dangers of our love affair with progress."

• Hillary Clinton tells Afghanistan that billions of dollar in U.S. nation-building aid were wasted on failed programs; promptly promises more aid.

• "Perhaps the president could interest you in a Chevy Malibu?"

• Trial of Khmer Rouge torture boss responsible for 16,000 deaths opens in Cambodia.

• FDA says you should stop eating pistachios.

• Cory Doctorow on the copyright battle over the Amazon Kindle 2's speech-to-text function.

• The Onion reports on the latest DNA exoneration.

NEXT: They Say They're Gonna Stop It, But It Doesn't Go Away

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  1. Yo, fuck Obama’s GM coup d’?tat.

  2. Fuck you, FDA. FUCK YOU, FDAAAAAAAA!!!!!

  3. Warty, you’re a fan of salmonella?

    The nice thing about all of Obama’s blatant and ridiculous power grabs is that there is gonna be one hell of a backlash. There’s gonna be a backlash, right?

  4. “Hillary Clinton tells Afghanistan that billions of dollar in U.S. nation-building aid were wasted on failed programs; promptly promises more aid.”

    Oy fucking vey1

    You know, the conspiracy theorist is starting to come out in me. The fucking utter mind destroying stupidity going on these days is really making me think that there’s a “plan” in place. I mean, no one can honestly be THIS stupid, right?!

  5. “There’s gonna be a backlash, right?”

    The part of me that thinks this shrinks everyday. I hope you’re right though X. I hope you’re right.

  6. There’s gonna be a backlash, right?

    Oh, I hope so. The thought of the inevitable backlash is the only thing keeping me from buying some fertilizer and renting a truck.

  7. Eduardo Porter gets to join the list.

    August and hallowed company there, Porter. Say “Hi” to Dionysys Larder for me.

  8. SF, that link is fantastic! Thank you for sharing that.

  9. Kyle Jordan | March 31, 2009, 9:14am | #
    “Hillary Clinton tells Afghanistan that billions of dollar in U.S. nation-building aid were wasted on failed programs; promptly promises more aid.”

    Oy fucking vey1

    You know, the conspiracy theorist is starting to come out in me. The fucking utter mind destroying stupidity going on these days is really making me think that there’s a “plan” in place. I mean, no one can honestly be THIS stupid, right?!

    It’s classic Democrat thinking: It didn’t fail because it was bad, it failed because I wasn’t in charge the right people weren’t in charge.

  10. Backlash? No. Bitchslap*? Yes.

  11. Yo, fuck people with weak immune systems. I’m gonna enjoy me some delicious nuts.

  12. I guess Malthus and Erlich weren’t predicting technology, so they didn’t go on the list, SF?

  13. I’m gonna enjoy me some delicious nuts.

    You should get a bumper sticker that says this. You can put it on your fagbug.

    fagbug.com — I drove past this girl yesterday on I-787 on the way to work.

  14. “For those of you who have been on the ground in Afghanistan, you have seen with your own eyes that a lot of these aid programs don’t work,” she said. “There are so many problems with them. There are problems of design, there are problems of staffing, there are problems of implementation, there are problems of accountability. You just go down the line.”

    It’s called SNAFU Hillary. It’s the way government has operated since Sumeria was founded.

    Clinton’s blunt comments on past aid programs — which appeared to also indict the broader international effort — will probably raise the bar for the administration’s aid programs. “We are scrubbing every single civilian program,” she said. “This is part of my mission as secretary of state. We are looking at every single dollar as to how it’s spent and where it’s going and trying to track the outcomes. We want to see real results.”

    Oh. We’ve got the right people in charge now.
    Whew. No more pourong money down ratholes now.

  15. T,

    I guess they got off light for that reason. They might be on the Top Ten Chicken Littles list.

    By the way, wasn’t the ozone hole supposed to have completely melted all the Antarctic ice by now?

  16. What, no hat tip for the Onion article? What gives, Radley?

  17. Clinton’s blunt comments on past aid programs — which appeared to also indict the broader international effort — will probably raise the bar for the administration’s aid programs. “We are scrubbing every single civilian program,” she said. “This is part of my mission as secretary of state. We are looking at every single dollar as to how it’s spent and where it’s going and trying to track the outcomes. We want to see real results.”

    Mark your calendars, Ladies and Gentlemen.

    This marks the the end of waste, fraud, and abuse!

    Why didn’t somebody think of this sooner?

  18. The down economy brings out the Malthusians: NY Times editorial writer Eduardo Porter warns of “the dangers of our love affair with progress.”

    Yet another liberal arts asshat feels qualified to unleash his baying over technology in spite of not having the fucking technical knowledge of a ten year old.

    Still paying electric bills Porter? No flying car? Thought you would live forever? Boo fucking hoo douchebag.

  19. Hmmm

    Great minds think alike, but some of them hit “submit” sooner.

  20. I love this idea that everything can be controlled. Hasn’t this notion been dealt with? Until God, alien ?berbeings, or our robot successors take over, this is a massive fallacy.

    There’s a word for this: ?????. Followed inexorably by ???.

  21. The money we save by not building ramshackle schools and police stations can be beneficially put to use destroying the cash crops of Afghan peasants.

  22. There’s a word for this: ?????. Followed inexorably by ???.

    That’s what she said.

  23. By the way, wasn’t the ozone hole supposed to have completely melted all the Antarctic ice by now?

    What about all those Argentine penguins that got sunburn, SugarFree? Won’t someone think of the Argentine penguins?!?

  24. Are those penguins unionized? A union would have made sure they had sunscreen.

  25. This thread reads like an AOL chatroom. Seems to be the trend since the gummint changed hands. With Obama we get trolltards? I did not know that.

  26. This thread reads NOTHING like an AOL chatroom, Two Thirds Ellipsis dude. For one thing, a majority of the words are spelled correctly.

  27. You know, the conspiracy theorist is starting to come out in me. The fucking utter mind destroying stupidity going on these days is really making me think that there’s a “plan” in place. I mean, no one can honestly be THIS stupid, right?!

    I have been convinced since the first few days of Obama’s administration that he and his lackeys are purposefully destroying the economy in order to build a statist regime.

    This is what the worst of the hippies wanted and it’s coming true, and I am so pissed to be alive for it…

    I fucking hate this guy…

  28. I love this idea that everything can be controlled.

    Yeah, I got whole shelf of books on system dynamics that say “not so much, buddy”. Building fault-tolerance and error correction into systems is a bitch when you’re dealing with small systems with well-defined inputs and outputs. On the scale of an economy? Give it the hell up.

  29. “This thread reads like an AOL chatroom. Seems to be the trend since the gummint changed hands. With Obama we get trolltards? I did not know that.”

    There’s no real answer to the level of stupidity being committed by our dear leaders on a daily, almost hourly basis. It’s absolutely perplexing.

    At this point in time it’s more of a wait and see game because the level of arrogance, control through popular vote and support, and ignorance of people that the government is currently wielding/manipulating is so massive that the only choices are to:

    1. Let them continue and hope that they completely hang themselves doing it.

    2. Wait for a lull period to the idiocy to begin trying to reason with people.

    3. Give up.

  30. This is jus fucking pathetic.

    “Your warranty will be safe,” the salesman in chief went on. “In fact, it will be safer than it’s ever been, because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warranty.”

    Incentives? Obama’s got ’em. “If you buy a car anytime this year, you may be able to deduct the cost of any sales and excise taxes,” the president offered. And nobody beats Obama on trade-ins; he wants a “generous credit to consumers who turn in old, less-fuel-efficient cars.”

    Perhaps the president can interest you in a Chevy Malibu? “In 2008, the North American Car of the Year was a GM,” he pitched. And the Buick Lucerne is a real cream puff. “This year, Buick tied for first place as the most reliable car in the world,” he declared from behind the presidential seal.

    Really. It’s embarrassing and painful to witness. Will the pitchman in chief be extolling the virtues of NeHi grape next?

    Enzyte?

  31. Why can Obama fire the CEO of GM in a heart beat, but it takes up to a year to fire a Federal worker? Maybe the CEO’s need to get organized, you know, save themselves from abuse. I GOT IT!!

    The CEO’s of the bailout age need to form a union. These cruel new paymasters are only interested in profits, and repayments of their precious “loans”. Are once powerful management nothing but slaves subject to the fanciful whims of bosses Obama and Geithner, who put profits before people?

    CEO’s you have nothing to lose but your CHAINS! Unite now!

  32. “If you buy a car anytime this year, you may be able to deduct the cost of any sales and excise taxes,”

    A new car and tax deductions? Seeing as how it’s the only way I’ll ever see any bailout or stimulus money, I better take this deal.

  33. I need to buy several guns so that when The Revolution comes I’ll be armed like those guys in Predator.

    sidenote: no one should forget how fucking badass that movie is.

  34. I need to buy several guns so that when The Revolution comes I’ll be armed like those guys in Predator.

    I have that many guns, but they won’t let me have a minigun or a grenade launcher. It distresses me greatly.

    On the plus side, flamethrowers are completely unregulated on the federal level. Not that you would need to know that…

  35. An item on Mr Balko’s beat:

    Ohio bans Salvia tomorrow (h/t to the moral panic segment on fox news this morning, but no related story on the web.) (speaking of fox news how can let let go Radley Balko and hire Jonah Goldberg? Wait, don’t answer that)

  36. Is there any doubt that another governor lurks in the cast of Predator?

    I’m not heavily armed, but I did just find a laser pistol in Fallout 3.

  37. “I have that many guns, but they won’t let me have a minigun or a grenade launcher. It distresses me greatly.”

    Dude, buy a bunch of Remington 750s, take off the buttstocks, fabricate a bracket to hold anywhere from 5 to 9 of them, then fabricate a mechanism that allows you to pull your a single master-trigger once and that master trigger then in sequence fires off the semi-automatic rifles reapedly until the 10 round magazines in each rifle are empty. Also, ave a secondary master trigger that fires all rifles simultaneously like a gigantic .308 shotgun.

  38. Dude, buy a bunch of Remington 750s, take off the buttstocks, fabricate a bracket to hold anywhere from 5 to 9 of them, then fabricate a mechanism that allows you to pull your a single master-trigger once and that master trigger then in sequence fires off the semi-automatic rifles reapedly until the 10 round magazines in each rifle are empty. Also, ave a secondary master trigger that fires all rifles simultaneously like a gigantic .308 shotgun.

    You’re related to this guy, aren’t you?

  39. No I’m not related to him but that is one of the coolest things I’ve seen this month!

    Brings up something I hadn’t thought of though. The ejection ports. I guess you could make with with four done up on a cross or X manner. Maybe six would work without problems…

  40. PL – make sure you juice up the small guns stat and forget laser pistols – they’re shit. Just wait until you get Lincoln’s Repeater (and hold on to your .44 ammo). That baby is a game changer.

  41. That’s an awful lot of work when hand-cranked gatling guns are legal.

  42. That’s an awful lot of work when hand-cranked gatling guns are legal.

    Shhhh!

  43. Really? Crap, I just increased my energy weapons skill! And I was so pleased when the evil dude got totally vaporized by my laser pistol.

  44. I’m not saying that energy weapons aren’t worth putting points into – it’s just that they are much more plentiful later in the game. Early on they’re expensive and sort of weak. I was stocking up on Chinese assault rifles and combat shotguns in the earlier stages.

    Leaving your foes in a pile of vaporized ash or liquid goo is definitely a great side effect of the energy weapons.

  45. Very well, I’ll work on small arms, too.

  46. Great Onion piece.

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