Campaigns/Elections

Friday FAIL Link: Kucinich Inaugural

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On my walk to work today I happened upon this curbside scene, a fitting end to the presidential aspirations of Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio):

Kucinich inauguration

Check out the empty beer bottles in the upper left corner, and the bottle of (diet!) tonic water in the lower right. And of course, the Whole Foods bags are appropriate for the last stand of our first vegan presidential candidate.

(NOTE: While I doubt this was actually the wreckage of a Kucinich family inauguration party, you never know—he and his very lovely wife have been known to gallivant in the Dupont Circle area.)

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  1. Actually, that was me. When I’ve had a few, I have this compulsion to pass myself off as Dennis. Believe me, it’s a rush!

  2. How will the Capitol Police know who he is, without his name tag?

  3. Alan,

    I bet Elizabeth Kucinich gets a kick out it too.

  4. He looks like an attacking monkey.

    “Why are all the pretty ones insane?”

  5. May be a tongue in cheek comment but . . . it’s kinda sad. Epic FAIL.

  6. Seriously. She’s six feet tall. He is standing on something or does she run through the city carrying him around like a Yoda backpack, littering pocket Constitutions with the 2nd Amendment scratched out as he bounces up and down?

  7. What empty beer bottles?

  8. SugarFree,

    She looks . . . nuetral in that photo. What happens when you marry for money, I guess.

    I’m watching Rome by the way. Thanks for tip on that one.

  9. Episode 11 “The Spoils.” Awesome. You’ll see what I mean.

  10. I hope you didn’t pull any 1/2 eaten eclairs from that trash.

  11. I’m on the Pharsalus episode right now. Vorenus is kind of a bitch. Pullo rocks!

  12. He’s basically a jockey, and she’s his horse. Ride, baby, ride!

    Buster: She’s a real beaut, ain’t she?

    Charlie: Holy shit, you can talk.

    Buster: What?

    Charlie: That is great. I would have figured, if anything, your voice would be like, super high.

  13. gmatts,

    He works for Reason. Not exactly a lucrative career choice.

  14. I think is has been clearly established that as long as it hasn’t passed the plane of the mouth of the garbage can, it is not really garbage yet, and therefore fair game.

  15. I just spotted the two empties. Just goes to show that one is usually well served by re-examination and proofreading and all of that.

  16. She looks . . . nuetral in that photo.

    Neutral? She looks like she belongs at Madame Tussaud’s.

  17. The miniscus of the trash can or is that some sort of 10 second rule? I’ve always wanted to use the word miniscus. Over a decade of waiting, plotting, schemeing . . .

  18. Are you looking for a ruling on a concave or convex minicus? I personally consider the rim of the can a flat plane, and am doubtful an appreciable minicus could be discerned if the can were filled with a fluid.

  19. Wow, we were both misspelling it in our own special way.

    Meniscus.

  20. Are you suggesting that I misused the word?

    WHAT. EVER.

    *snaps fingers*

  21. ooooh, so close – pretty sure meniscus refers specifically to the curve a liquid makes in a container, not the mouth opening. Keep waiting Naga…

  22. I thought miniscus was the crescent and meniscus was the anatomical name for that cartilege thingie in your knee?

  23. Hmmmmmmm . . . I believe upon further research that domo is correct.

    Damn your black heart, sir! Damn it straight to hell!

  24. Next time I miss a shot in tennis, I plan on scream “Ow! My meniscus!” as an excuse. Probably would make more sense than my usual “Ow! My duodenum!”

  25. screaming. Gerunds? I don’t need no stinkin’ gerunds.

  26. SugarFree,

    Fat people don’t play tennis. Did you mean UFC fighting?

  27. After all these years, I still have no idea what a gerund is or what it is used for in a sentence. Damn Latin.

  28. I’m fat, not some species of barely mobile land whale. I’m “Seth Rogan” fat, not “your mom” fat.

  29. He is standing on something or does she run through the city carrying him around like a Yoda backpack

    “Who runs DC Town?!”

    “[mumbles] Master…[amp turns on]Master Kucinich”

    Speaking of fail, (or not failing), I wonder how much K-MW finally got for renting out her condo for the inaugural.

    Also, I can’t wait until ‘FAIL’ goes the way of ‘psyche!’ or ‘dadio’

  30. Also, I can’t wait until ‘FAIL’ goes the way of ‘psyche!’ or ‘dadio’

    It never will! PREDICTION FAIL!

  31. I’m “Seth Rogan” fat, not “your mom” fat.

    Fat is fat, fatty. But the question is…how fat is Naga?

  32. SugarFree,

    I like that. You with a headband on crying “Time out! Time out! My meniscus!” and then getting hit with a tennis ball. Teh AWESome!

  33. Epi,

    Remember back a ways. I run 5 miles about every 2 or three days. Dude, I’m toned. The trouble is that I can’t seem to gain any significant muscle besides my legs and shoulders.

  34. The trouble is that I can’t seem to gain any significant muscle besides my legs and shoulders.

    Because you’re running distance. What’s your per mile time? If you want to gain some muscle, swim, or play tennis, and stop running.

  35. I don’t know my per mile time. Sounds like gibberish to me. I know I’m done in just under an hour though. Say about 12 minutes every mile?

  36. Say about 12 minutes every mile?

    That’s not running, that’s a slow jog or a fast walk. You should be done with 5 miles in 40 minutes.

    Still, running causes your body to resist putting on muscle mass because it just makes your running more difficult (more weight). If you want to build, stop running.

  37. Find a nice, tall building and run up the stairs. With a Yoda backpack full of rocks.

  38. Running is for fags. Become a crazy person and do crossfit’s daily demands. Pukie will be your new best friend.

  39. But the Gracchi were great tennis players, and look what happened to them!

    And “Liz,” as I like to call her, does get a kick out of it.

  40. Thanks Warty. When the Zombies come craving your flesh, and you can only run for about 1 mile before you are devoured, don’t come crying for my juicy flesh. I’ll be the dude easily getting away.

  41. Epi,

    I don’t wanna be those dudes that run the 5 miles outright and then drop dead of a heart attack at age 28. Fuck that. I ain’t goin’ out like no bitch.

  42. Are we talking fast zombies or slow zombies? Either way, jogging slowly for 10 miles isn’t gonna be much use.

  43. If it’s Romero zombies we’re dealing with, your best defense is just to stay away from Pittsburgh.

  44. I’ll be the dude easily getting away.

    “I don’t have to be faster than the bear; I just have to be faster than you,” I said, as I kicked him viciously in the knee.

  45. I don’t wanna be those dudes that run the 5 miles outright and then drop dead of a heart attack at age 28.

    Uh, 8 minute miles aren’t exactly race speed, Naga. If I had said 6.5 minute miles you might have a point.

    If it’s Romero zombies we’re dealing with, your best defense is just to stay away from Pittsburgh.

    Just get to the mall and raid the gun store.

  46. Warty,

    Thats the beauty of the way I do my running. Endurance is what counts. I run like a crackhead when in danger. Leap fences, jump ditches, climb trees, etc. None of that matters if you’re tired out after a mile.

    Epi,

    You fool! Blades don’t need reloading! Gun shots will attract every zombie within 10 miles. The only dead zombie is a decapitated zombie. Quote me on that.

  47. I have this compulsion to pass myself off as Dennis.

    We know, we know…

  48. Diet tonic water? Someone got a visit from the “food champion”.

    If your ass has to use diet tonic water, you should just stop drinking. Just. Stop.

  49. Naga, I generally don’t read graphic novels, but a friend got this one, and I have to say it was pretty good – at least up to the fourth volume, where I stopped reading.

  50. Paul – he might be on a low carb diet. A friend of mine who was on one told me tonic water has a butt-load of carbs, even if it doesn’t have many calories.

  51. BakedPenguin,

    Hmmmmmm . . . it had better have a Lefiti/Edward twist to it.

  52. BakedPenguin,

    Oh. I’ve read all eight and I rarely touch comics. I have a weakness for zombie literature, alas. You did well to stop at that point. It gets progressively more chaotic and crazy.

  53. Good idea, Naga. Zombie Lefiti…

  54. Hold on, BakedPenguin. You may unleash some sort of retarded zombie comic that while funny may very well cause an outbreak of retarded zombie syndrome. Kinda like how they explain the outbreaks in Shaun of the Dead. Tread with care.

  55. Retard Zombie would be a scary thing indeed. And if Lefiti were a zombie, I don’t think he would go any other way.

  56. Endurance is what counts.

    Naga, it all counts: endurance, strength and power, flexibility, balance, coordination. The crossfit guys noticed that while sprinters can run pretty well, runners can’t sprint for shit. Crossfitters run (Warty, how’d you do on Saturday’s 10k?), but they do pull-ups and oly lifts, too. It sounds like when you run you do more than just jog, but you only build the muscles you use.

    Try it.

  57. Maurkov, I’m not badass enough to run 10K in a foot of snow and 10 degree weather, and I can’t stand treadmills. Instead, I jumped rope for 45 minutes. I hate hate hate hate double unders.

  58. he might be on a low carb diet.

    Ummm, that’s a PIZZA BOX in the picture.

  59. Maurkov,

    When the zombies come for ya don’t expect any mercy. I’m just gonna keep running away at my pace.

    Warty,

    If you could, you would be badass indeed.

  60. When the zombies come for me it’ll be like the reavers coming for River Tam.

  61. A few days after Obama’s inauguration seems like an odd time to take a shot at a Kucinich inauguration that didn’t actually happen.

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