Don't They Know It's Christmas?

The good folks at Wonkette have assembled their laffalicious 2008 War Against Xmas Gift Guide, featuring writeups about various items, including a naked clown calendar (relax, it's for charity!), Republican and Democrat steak-branding irons, and this particularly gruesome item commemorating "the night when Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination":

It's available for $20 (includes shipping and handling!), but act fast because, well, unicorns don't really exist.

And as long as we're spreading Christmas sneer, was it really only a year ago that Christopher Hitchens headlined Reason's Very Special, Very Secular Xmas Party by saying "Bah Humbug on Christmas"?:

Comments

[Davebo]

Scrub as much as you choose but you'll never wash the Hitchens taint from Reason!

[damaged justice]

YOUR KINK IS NOT OKAY

[Mo]

That image will be seared in my nightmares forever. I'd pay $20 to have never seen that image.

[Mister DNA]

No "War on Christmas" thread is complete without some Fear. (audio is NSFW)

[Ska]

I'm buying 50 of those prints to carry around and dispense as deemed necessary.

[NPH]

Doesn't This violate the ESA?

[joe]

Oh.

My.

God.

That this is worse than the Barack Obama coins they pitch on basic cable.

But not as bad at the World Trade Center commemorative certificate coins.

[Mister DNA]

by the way, don't be fooled... Nick Gillespie only posted a link to Wonkette in the hopes that it will make us a little more grateful for tomorrow's forthcoming Chip Bok "funny".

[creech]

I'd much rather see Sarah Palin as Lady Godiva.

[Naga Sadow]

My eyes!!!

Also, what creech said.

[Just wondering]

If you don't like Christmas why do you go to Christmas parties?

[Episiarch]

This is silly. Unicorns aren't real.

[Naga Sadow]

Epi,

What are you on about? No unicorns? I bet you think there's no Santa Claus too!

[Kolohe]

That this is worse than the Barack Obama coins they pitch on basic cable.

My office has foxnews/cnn on pretty much continuously. So at least four times a day, I get to that dorky white dude nod over to his Obama plate as he finishes filling out some form at his desk.

It keeps getting funnier every single time.

[Episiarch]

Of course there is a Santa Claus, Naga.

[treefroggy]

How appropriate. Both the unicorn and Obama are mythological creatures.

[anarch]

I hope, I really hope, that was painted on velvet.

[Reinmoose]

That doesn't really look too much like Obama to me. I always picture him as taller.

And that bulbous part of flesh directly under his forearm... is that...?

[Naga Sadow]

Everyone knows there will be no Santa only when the apocalypse hits us. Then his grief combined with his immortality will cause him to go insane.

[Abdul]

I'm giving all of my friends and family Che Guevara-themed items.

[Naga Sadow]

I think my vision of Santa is a bit darker than yours. I WIN!!!

[brec]

You thought that was the horse's horn?

[Episiarch]

Uh, Naga, you might want to see the episode before you say that. I'll just note that mine includes Glenn Danzig, enslaved alien elves, blood flowing up walls, and much defecation.

[Pain]

Uh, Naga, you might want to see the episode before you say that. I'll just note that mine includes Glenn Danzig, enslaved alien elves, blood flowing up walls, and much defecation.

"Yeah that's real elf blood there. That don't come cheap!"

[Naga Sadow]

I saw the episode. I thought it was . . . a bit weirder than usual. But then, for me at least, that show has been losing its charm.

[Reinmoose]

You thought that was the horse's horn

err.. his other forearm. Is the artist interpreting Obama to have a bubble butt?

[EJM]

In comparison, the "Pretty in Mink" calendar may now appear a little bit saner.

[Ska]

A little saner? Farm animal porn is arguably saner than the president-elect riding a unicorn naked.

[Naga Sadow]

EJM,

Anne Coulter is in there? Awesome!

[Episiarch]

Naga, that is possibly the greatest of all the episodes.

"You make our house bleed right now!"

[TUC]

What an moran! Everybody knows unicorns are extinct. Dragons killed them all.

[Naga Sadow]

Episiarch,

(sigh) Allright. I'll watch it . . . again. But later. I got about 15 minutes till I gotta get ready for a meeting with a loan officer. Condo here I come.

[prolefeed]

I'm guessing that if any libertarian has the poor judgment to get involved with a Wonkettetard, their sex life will be exclusively confined to AMUS (Angry Make Up Sex).

[whiskey]

dan lacey is awesome deal with it

[SugarFree]

I think the most gruesome part is that if you let your eyes go a little out of focus, Obama's face morphs into Bush's. (Think Magic Eye.)

FUCKING SAILBOAT!

[Pain]

My question:

Does he really have to be naked?

Or was the artist just to lazy to draw clothes?

[SugarFree]

He's riding a horse with an erect phallic symbol on its head. He has to be naked for that to work artistically.

Although, if he doesn't know that unicorn very well, barebacking is probably not a very good idea.

[JW]

DO NOT WANT!

[joe]

And that bulbous part of flesh directly under his forearm... is that...?

Yup. Obam-ass.

[whiskey]

seriously you guys just don't get dan lacey he is the most brilliant artist of our generation

[JW]

No. Should we?

[T]

seriously you guys just don't get dan lacey he is the most brilliant artist of our generation

How can he be? He doesn't have stores in the mall like Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light. If Dan Lacey was all that brilliant, he'd be rich, too.

[Warren]

Build This Bong

That went straight on my Amazon wish list.

[Putin on the Ritz]

Libertarians go to Christmas parties for the booze. I don't think I've ever seen Hitchens so loaded. Cool! Death to Christmas!

[Bingo]

Dan Lacey is a conservative Christian cartoonist that is also a closeted homosexual furry. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Bingo]

Previous link may be NSFW, I don't know how far his mind has decayed at this point.

[Episiarch]

Holy shit, Bingo, that's great. Did you go to the blog and see the pancake paintings? This dude is awesome. I want one now. The Blago one or the Palin one.

[joe]

Dan Lacey is a conservative Christian cartoonist that is also a closeted homosexual furry.

If I was asked to imagine what a conservative Christian cartoonist who is also a closeted gay furry would paint, it probably wouldn't take me too long to get to "naked guy on a unicorn."

[Jim Walsh]

You realize, of course, that the Obama thing is a direct rip-off of the back cover from the second Prince album...

(That would be the album with I Wanna Be Your Lover...)

[Sean]

Anybody else notice he's got Obama clinching the nomination at the RNC in Saint Paul?

[wizard of oz books]

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