Obesity

Super Size Me…To Life!

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When we last checked in on gargantuan Death Row inmate Richard Cooey, the  5-foot, 7-inch, 267-pound criminal was trying to stay his execution in Ohio on the grounds that he was too fat to fry (well, lethally inject).

Bad news for Cooey, who was sentenced to death for his role in a 1986 double kidnapping, beating, sexual assault and murder: The courts turned down his arguments that he is too obese to be put down by the state in a humane fashion and he will be executed today.

Cooey's lawyers pointed to what they called a history of botched executions by the state:

The last Ohio inmate to be executed was Christopher Newton—who was similar in size to Cooey—in May 2007. The execution team had trouble putting IVs in his arm, delaying his execution nearly two hours. There were similar problems in the execution of another inmate in 2006.

I'm against the death penalty because I think the state should use the least amount of force necessary to protect its citizens. But Cooey's case, in which there is no doubt of his guilt and a huge heaping serving of chutzpah, is the sort of plea that makes it difficult to argue against executions.

Cooey's last dinner?:

Cooey dined Monday evening on the special meal he ordered, including T-bone steak with A-1 sauce, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, toast with butter, hash browns, a pint of rocky road ice cream, a Mountain Dew soft drink and bear claw pastries.

More here.

NEXT: Every Man a Derrida

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  1. I’m not sure how “trouble hitting the vein” = “botched execution”.

  2. Force-feed him to death. Would that be cruel and unusual? Probably. But then they could make foie gras out of his liver and serve it with a nice Chianti.

    More seriously, how is an inmate allowed to get that fat? Isn’t their diet controlled? If they had just put him on a reasonable caloric restriction this wouldn’t even be an issue.

  3. Can you send back your last meal? I’m imagining some passive agressive prison chef serving you fries that have been sitting under a heat lamp too long, with tabasco instead of my preferred Texas Pete.

    Myself, it would be foie gras flambe — pretty hard to screw that one up.

  4. Morgan Spurlock’s really let himself go.

  5. …Cooey’s case, in which there is no doubt of his guilt and a huge heaping serving of chutzpah, is the sort of plea that makes it difficult to argue against executions. (emphasis added)

    The fact that there are so many cases where there is doubt of the person’s guilt makes it easy to argue against the death penalty. But yeah, I won’t be crying for fatass.

  6. Only someone that guilty could order that much food for a last meal. That’s a fuckLot of food. Gawrsh I’m hungry.

  7. Call me an old fart, but I find Reason‘s joking about the state’s ultimate use of force (even against an undoubtedly guilty murderer) somewhat disturbing.

    (I have no problem with commenters making whatever jokes they want.)

  8. Cooey dined Monday evening on the special meal he ordered, including T-bone steak with A-1 sauce, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, toast with butter, hash browns, a pint of rocky road ice cream, a Mountain Dew soft drink and bear claw pastries.

    No deep-fried bacon dogs?

    Did they let him smoke two packs of unfiltered Pall Malls afterward?

  9. “…Cooey’s case, in which there is no doubt of his guilt and a huge heaping serving of chutzpah, is the sort of plea that makes it difficult to argue against executions.”

    BakedPenguin already said it, basically, but I oppose the death penalty on the basis that even the most remote risk of the state killing — or even being in a position where they ever could kill — an innocent human is unacceptable. The fact is that more than a couple of innocent men have been executed, and one is too many.

    I shed no tears for this fat bastard, and I’m quite sure the human race is better off without him. But, for me, it’s never been a question of whether or not some people “deserve” to die. It’s a matter of the state acknowledging its own limitations, and inability to establish guilt in an absolute way.

    In that light, it becomes a matter, for me, of a right-sized state being one that knows it cannot determine who gets to live or die.

  10. After that last meal, better use an extra strength butt plug.

  11. Here is where the really anti-DP crowd and I split ways. I oppose DP on principle and want to eliminate it on principle. The militant nut-jobs oppose it on morality and want to eliminate it however they can, including piecemail. “Well, that guy’s too smart. That guy’s too dumb. That guy’s too fat. That guy’s too old. That guy found Jesus.” Doing it that way is a)intellectually dishonest and b) means that the only guy left that it’s okay to execute is me.

  12. Did they let him smoke two packs of unfiltered Pall Malls afterward?

    Of course not. Cigarettes are bad for you.

  13. One of his victims had bruised and bloody hands from where she tried to fight them off. I can still picture the victims Fiero with its smashed windshield from the rock they dropped from the overpass to get them to pull over. He showed no remorse when his victims were pleading for their lives. Let the Mammoth die!

  14. Nick, Nick, bo-bick, oops, wrong post. Hell, fry the bastard and watch him sizzle. Death ain’t supposed to be pretty.

  15. Eat shit and die were never truer words.

  16. The biggest pussies are those that egg on and cheerlead state murder. They are real tough guys.

  17. “The biggest pussies are those that egg on and cheerlead state murder. They are real tough guys.”

    Bigger pussies than the guy who rapes and murders a pair of 20 year-old girls?

  18. As far as Super Size Me goes, this guy does show a certain resemblance to both Morgan Spurlock and the anti-Spurlock Radley Balko.

  19. Lamar-

    Yes. Evil done in the name of Caesar is always worse.

  20. this guy does show a certain resemblance to both Morgan Spurlock and the anti-Spurlock Radley Balko.

    Maybe he ate them both.

  21. Starve him to death.

  22. “Evil done in the name of Caesar is always worse.”

    OK, but being evil != being a pussy (except, of course, Danzig).

    In my opinion, he who intentionally murders another forfeits his life. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

  23. Run a subway train up his ass1

  24. OK, but being evil != being a pussy (except, of course, Danzig).

    “Now look, you listen to me as hard as you fucking can. That fucking robot came with the fucking house, and now he’s fucking gone! If you see that mother–”

    “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll tell you!”

    “You fucking better. If I find out he’s over here, I’m gonna be eating my cereal out of the bottom of your fucking skull! Verstandlich?!?”

  25. Well said Lamar. The brutality of the crime it seems in these cases is too often eclipsed by the BS surrounding the execution. What about victims and the families of the victims whose lives have been torn apart for the last 20 yrs? No one is making this big a stink about the victims. Being 270 lbs and 5’7″ when you are on a tax payers menu and then claiming you can’t pay for your crime? Laughable attempt to make a mockery out of our justice system.

  26. Epi:

    I love that quote, because he’s eating cereal.

  27. if executing fat people in Ohio is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  28. Cooey dined on T-bone steak, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, toast with butter, hash browns, a pint of rocky road ice cream…

    A man who eats like that has a death wish.

  29. I love that quote, because he’s eating cereal.

    Exactly. A subtle little touch that makes it brilliant.

    “I cannot stand that guy. He is so annoying, he is so frightening, and he doesn’t wear a shirt.”

    “You make our house bleed right now!”

  30. Everyone will be happy/dismayed to know he was executed 46 minutes ago.

  31. “the 5-foot, 7-inch, 267-pound criminal was trying to stay his execution in Ohio on the grounds that he was too fat to fry (well, lethally inject).”

    Well they could always execute him by firing squad. Bullets work just as well on fat people as they do thin ones.

  32. Perhaps he would care for a wafer-thin mint.

  33. .45 to the temple. He’ll never feel it. Problem solved.

    -jcr

  34. RIGHT and those girls were TOO YOUNG TO DIE. BEG FOR MERCY LIKE THOSE POOR GIRLS DID. YOU DESERVED EVERY MOMENT OF THAT INJECTION!!!!!!!!!

  35. If they can’t find a vein, they could stick it in his eyeball…

  36. I don’t think he deserved a last meal he had stuffed himself with enough tax payers money
    His victims didn’t have a choice of a last meal or a chance to be with there family before he killed them

    roll on the next execution

  37. They could remove most of his intestines and let him eat all he wants while starving to death.

    I have an idea for an execution method: A chemically impelled bar that will sever the spinal cord at the base of the skull.

    The state is so conservative, where is the innovation?

  38. If they have trouble putting in his arm, stick it in his neck.

  39. I have no philosophical objection to the death penalty for murderers; my only complaint against it is that the state all-too-often makes mistakes. But this sociopathic lardass actually was guilty, and the world is richer for his loss.

    Now that he’s dead, I return to my regularly scheduled opposition to the death penalty.

  40. I have an idea for an execution method: A chemically impelled bar that will sever the spinal cord at the base of the skull.

    How about putting him in one of those machines that stamps out car fenders. It’s cruel and unusual only for the guy that has to clean it up.

  41. Who here favors torture?

  42. Seriously, only like one statement of what your last meal would be? I’m surprised…

    I favor torture sometimes, i just don’t think it should be legal. You know, like underage drinking. Sometimes, some people decide they gotta do it.

  43. He’s too big to fail, so he needs a bailout.

    If only he had connections…

  44. fat fuck. can you imagine the mess in his pants after that gargantuan last meal?

    LOL @ matt

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