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All the News That's Fit to Print vs. the World's Only Reliable News

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Embarrassed at being beaten by the National Enquirer on the John Edwards adultery story, The New York Times now seems determined not to be scooped by the Weekly World News. "Two Georgians Say They Have Bigfoot's Body," the Old Gray Lady announced last week. It's a good thing the Times was cautious with that headline. DNA testing suggests the body was not in fact Bigfoot's, unless Bigfoot is a giant opossum. And while the Times was running down this blind alley, it missed the Fly-Eyed Baby, not to mention this startling follow-up to the Edwards story.

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  1. The Weekly World News is not a threat. Unfortunately it is not out of business. Sad, I want to find out what Batboy is up to.

  2. that should read it is NOW out of business

  3. This explains why Russia is invading.

  4. I have it on good authority that the Illuminati forced that DNA tester to lie about the results in order to protect the secret that Bigfoot is in fact an alien/human hybrid. See, OPOSSUM is almost an anagram for MOSSAD, which means the ZOG is involved as well.

  5. Bigfoots have a lot in common with Didelphis marsupialis, or “possums” as commonly referred to by laymen. Migration patterns are similar, diet is similar, even some studies suggest gestation periods between the two mammals are similar. I wouldn’t count this story out yet.

  6. As the anniversary of Elvis’ alleged death recently passed, I eagerly await the NYT’s in-depth investigation.

  7. There’s stupid news that harms the cause (Democrat has love child!) and stupid news that does not harm the cause (aka “human interest”).

    The NYT ain’t playing catchup with the Bigfoot stuff. They run dumb stuff all the time on Friday/Saturday. They put it right next to the stuff that people put out on press releases that they want buried next to stuff about Bigfoot.

  8. The fact that proof of the missing link between certain subtribes of Hominina has been found is not “stupid news.” Far from it.

  9. Any idiot knows this.

  10. By the way, even mentioning Bigfoot news and news about the “fly-eyed baby” in the same paragraph does a disservice to the continued research and study of nothing less than the theory of evolution. Only a fool would believe in fly-eyed babies.

    Big Foot Hunter

  11. http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=37507

    ^The original hoaxer from the 60′ admitted everything before he died, but that isn’t enough for some truthers. It does make sense for the NYT to report on this. They did do a report on an affair McLame MIGHT have been having with a lobbyist. Yet, they skipped the Edwards story. Maybe that is because they already ran too many “Man sticks by cancer-stricken wife” stories? Or, it might just be that they toss a coin…

  12. Bigfoot is a marsupial?

    I learn something new every damn day.

  13. Bigfoot is a marsupial?

    It depends. Families of Bigfoots in northern Georgia are often heard at night. Once a camera is present, the parents and offspring run and hide at tremendous speeds. So fast, in fact, some opine the children must be carried in some fashion. One of the most efficient ways would be a pouch.

  14. The corpse in question is a costume in a box.

    There is no evidence that Bigfoot exists (why have we never even found a dead one?), though it’d be awesome if it did.

  15. There is no evidence that Bigfoot exists

    I’m pretty sure Bill Clinton appointed Bigfoot as Attorney General.

  16. There is plenty of evidence Bigfoots exist. Tracks, photos (admittedly grainy), films, and hundreds (perhaps thousands) of eyewitnesses. We know a lot about these creatures. They are extremely smart. We know this because of the lack of photographic evidence (they are aware of our attempt to find them). We know they have extremely evolved burial habits. We know this because of the difficulty in finding skeletal evidence. And finally, we know they are somewhat nomadic. We know this because of the difficulty in finding dens and other animalistic shelters. Evidence is all around you.

    Big Foot Hunter

  17. He wasn’t there again today

    Oh, God, I wish he’d go away!

  18. Exactly! If they weren’t so evolved, and therefore different than known primates, it would be easy to get evidence. The fact that there isn’t a lot of evidence is proof of their existence.

    Big Foot Hunter

  19. My reaction to the “carcass” in a cooler was that this would be the one case where finding out it is just a guy in an ape suit would raise more questions than it answers.

  20. I can hardly wait for the checkout counter sequel:

    Bigfoot And Pregnant:
    Swamp Thing’s Ex Claims
    Fly Eyed Love Child Is Edwards’

  21. BFHunter….um, darling…we’re not laughing *with* you.

  22. Science is no laughing matter.

  23. See, OPOSSUM is almost an anagram for MOSSAD, which means the ZOG is involved as well.

    All right, who told Epi about anagrams?

  24. BF Hunter is exactly right.

    It is like the invisible hand of the market.
    We know it is working because it is invisible.

    Or something.

    It is clear that Bigfoot east possum, and the sample was actually just stomach contents.

    I’ll wait for the peer-reviewed results of the carefully completed autopsy to come out before I pass judgment.

  25. east, of course, being an anagram for “eats.”

  26. Neu Mejican, you are correct on both accounts. It is believed that only eastern Bigfoot eat possum. The western Bigfoot diet is obviously more herbivoric.

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