Movies

Airplane! 3: The Hijacking

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Politico has some movie news:

David Zucker, the director and writer who helped create "Airplane!" and "The Naked Gun" franchise has called on Hollywood's tiny but tightly knit Republican A-list crowd to help him make a broad yet unusually right-leaning political satire titled "An American Carol."

The low-budget indie co-stars Emmy winner Kelsey Grammer with Oscar-winner Jon Voight, cinema icon Dennis Hopper, model-heiress Paris Hilton and frequent Zucker stooge Leslie Nielsen in minor roles. Release is planned sometime by year's end; the director suggested Friday, Sept. 12, to coincide with the seventh anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Now there's a tasteful tribute. But why no role for O.J. Simpson?

Part of me wants to give Zucker the benefit of the doubt here—the man has made some deeply funny movies in the past—but he had his chance to show us that he could mix humor and politics when he did some anti-Democrat ads in 2006, and the results were…not inspiring:

The line "History has taught us that evil needs to be confronted, not appeased" has no place in a David Zucker film, unless Leslie Nielsen is saying it while Ricardo Montalban gives him a wedgie. And if you have any doubt that the new movie will be more of the same, Politico's plot summary should disabuse you of the notion:

In a climactic scene, [Michael] Moore's stand-in (here named "Michael Malone") finds political clarity at the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center while the admonishing ghost of George Washington (played by Voight) hovers nearby.

Caveat: If he works in a sequence where the next 9/11 is foiled by a heroic autopilot, I'll forgive everything else.

NEXT: L.A. Says "No" to Cheap Food for Poor People

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  1. Political comedy is hard. It’s only funny when you are taking people or ideas down. As soon as you try to give a message, you become earnest and that is instant comedy death.

    I think he picked the wrong week to quit taking amphetamines.

  2. “Oh my god, the 1/2 news hour!”

    “What is it?”

    “A god-awful Daily how rip-off, with the title stolen from Canada. But that’s not important right now. They’re making a two hour version of it!”

  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ykzVh4oLvg

    i never thought i’d say i wanted to see a ewe boll movie, but i really do.

  4. “show”

    comedy and tiping is hard.

  5. Thanks for the heads-up, Jesse. Yeeeech.

  6. Wait, Paris Hilton is a Republican?

  7. “tiping.”
    Now that’s comedy.

  8. I would have bet big money that Leslie Nielsen died last year, but I just checked Wikipedia, and he’s strangely still alive.

  9. Wait, Paris Hilton is a Republican?

    How else will the GOP woo the vacuous, herpes-riddled, purse-dog wastrel vote?

  10. You’re thinking of Abe Vigoda.

  11. I think you could get some mileage out of an in-flight dispute (“Mecca!” “Atlantic City!”) among the hijackers over their final destination; while the competing factions wrestle over the wheel, the plane unintentionally hits a tall building, with closeup shots of wide-eyed, screeching, terrorists. (“Hit the brakes!” “Turn, turn!” “NO, the other way, apostate swine!”)

    And you have to have the obligatory oblivious drunk guy who keeps calling the terrorists “waiter” and trying to order another scotch.
    And the “You’re cute” girl.

  12. Abe Vigoda never owned a PURSE-DOG, you vile slanderer!

  13. I would have bet big money that Leslie Nielsen died last year, but I just checked Wikipedia, and he’s strangely still alive.

    You’re probably thinking of Lloyd Bridges and Hot Shots.

  14. And nuns.

    Nuns are, like, comedy fucking gold.

  15. Political comedy is hard. It’s only funny when you are taking people or ideas down. As soon as you try to give a message, you become earnest and that is instant comedy death.

    Which is why Team America is a masterpiece.

  16. Introducing JOHN McCAIN as TED STRYKER…

  17. and the results were…not inspiring:

    Oh, quite the contrary. Best political oommercial EVER.

    Which is why Team America is a masterpiece.

    Definitely.

  18. Oh, and also, the last Rambo.

  19. That commercial gives new meaning to the word “disingenuous.”

  20. And a group of nuns calling themselves “Wolverines” foil the plot, with a Swayze cameo.

  21. “An American Carol”? Is that anything like “A Christmas Carol”? Well, with both Kelsey Grammar and “cinema icon” Dennis Hopper onboard (are they really part of “Hollywood’s tiny but tightly knit Republican A-list crowd”?), there will be plenty of, ha, ha, snow! Pardon me while I kiss the sky!

  22. Their best hope is to do a live action Team America.

  23. Hey, that commercial’s not bad. Not great, but more entertaining than almost any other political commercial, and about as dumb/funny as much of Zucker’s cinematic output.

  24. Their best hope is to do a live action Team America.

    That would eliminate all the comedy from the sex and fight scenes, though.

  25. Citizen Nothing.

    You’re thinking of Abe Vigoda.

    This disagrees.

  26. My theory is that the universe is mearly a bubble in someone’s dream, and that the dreamer is Abe Vigoda.

  27. Wait, isn’t Dennis Hopper in the new film Swing Vote? He runs for president in that film so I wonder what role he will have in this. Maybe he is just going to be featured as a voice in a GPS device like what you can get from Navtones.com!
    Maybe he is just going to smoke his cigar and put in out on Paris Hilton’s face!

  28. “That would eliminate all the comedy from the sex and fight scenes, though.”

    I dunno. I think a Paris Hilton/Abe Vigoda sex scene would be funny as hell, so long as they faithfully recreated the entire uncut scene.

  29. My theory is that the universe is [merely] a bubble in someone’s dream, and that the dreamer is Abe Vigoda.

    CN, your theory is actually somewhat similar to the plot of the “Tales from the Darkside” episode featuring Mr. Vigoda.

  30. I’m stickin’ my neck out here, but it was so bad, it made me laugh. Effective? I dunno.

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