Hey, Barack Obama Exists After All

The latest news from the Obama Conspiracyverse is the first third-party proof of Obama's birth in Hawaii. It's a birth announcement from a 1961 issue of the Honolulu Advertiser that was dug up, ironically enough, by Lori Starfelt, who's working on an anti-Obama documentary for pro-Clinton PUMAs.

The crucial clip:

Well, that's it. Game over: Obama was born in the States. Or… [cue Bernard Hermann sting] was he? This image actually comes from Obama conspiracist TexasDarlin, who appends it with 12 questions. Such as…

Although this announcement suggests his parents were married, that's still an open question.

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

Barack Obama's original birth certificate likely contains something that embarrasses him, or something that could be problematic for him legally, such as an indication of dual nationality. I STILL think he needs to produce a hard copy of the original Birth Certificate, or he looks like he's hiding something.

In the comments, TexasDarlin talks with fellow skeptics.

Jackson, I'm not sure that any info on the COLB is fake, but perhaps the document was set up to appear to be fake, so that we would spend hundreds of hours studying it…

I've recovered footage from inside the Obama truther strategy meeting held before this blog post was published. Here it is:

(Seriously, if you like conspiracy theories, the comments at this site are a festival of chuckles. The idea of Obama's family collaborating to create a false biography for him is, in itself, hilarious. How did those 1961 dinner table conversations go, do they think? "If we don't create a false story, and fast, our half-African son of an 18-year old mother will have no chance at becoming president!")

Comments

[Idiot]

BUT TEH RATHERGATE!

[Elemenope]

Although this announcement suggests his parents were married, that's still an open question.

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

Imply he's a bastard! Imply he's a doppelganger! Sweet non-existent Christ this guy is a fucknut.

Barack Obama's original birth certificate likely contains something that embarrasses him, or something that could be problematic for him legally, such as an indication of dual nationality. I STILL think he needs to produce a hard copy of the original Birth Certificate, or he looks like he's hiding something.

THE TRUTH: He was born with ELEVEN TOES!!!!11!!1!

(And a birthmark curiously configured to resemble three sixes...)

[bigbigslacker]

I heard he has a tail.

[Alan Vanneman]

"Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?"

That's because he's not a human being. Obama is a robot, beamed down from the mothership five years ago. All the Harvard Law Review claptrap is bullshit, pure and simple. He never attended. How could he, when he didn't exist? This is a conspiracy from the getgo, masterminded from outer space. Please, please get your aluminum foil helmets in place immediately before you become another mind slave of the pod folk.

[Zevatron]

"Obama" is an artificially created human, "born" in a cocoon in a scientific complex called "The Beehive". The goal of his creators, the Enclave, is to create and subsequently exploit the perfect human for their own gain.

It's all here!

[Naga Sadow]

Oh conspiracy theorists . . . is there nothing to crazy for you to believe in?

[Episiarch]

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

This is because he sprang fully formed from Zeus' thigh. He really is a god!

[annmarie]

why is there no pictures of obama? i would like 2 see obama when he waz little because i would think it would be cute

[Sparky]

"Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?"

Have you noticed there are no photos of Obama and Hitler in the same room?

Think about it.

[Naga Sadow]

Zevatron,

I was almost certain I was going to be rickrolled when I clicked on your link.

[No Name Guy]

Uh, I think this counts as a baby pictures. So yes, there is a photo of him as an infant.

[Nephilium]

Bah. Everyone should know that he was actually a clone from a LongPig meat factory, and that they grew his brain in a vat a year ago.

Nephilium... wearing red and green shades with different sized lenses.

[Click here to see how far in t]

Overall a stupid post, generating a load of attempts at jokes and little more. And, Reason continues its stock trick of building up a strawman (in this case, those who take questioning BHO's origins too far) instead of admitting that there are still many questions about those origins. Rather, Reason would have you simply accept everything the BHO campaign and the MSM says about their candidate, and that's just stupid.

If Reason would like to take the higher road, feel free to get an answer out of the BHO campaign about these contradictory statements. BHO's expert didn't return my email, but maybe bulldog investigative reporter Dave Weigel will have better luck.

[Ashley]

He might indeed exist but it'll take more than that to prove he's not flat.

[Naga Sadow]

Weigel has a nemesis?

[sage]

I heard 78% of his body is covered with a birthmark.

[Elemenope]

Really, Lonewacko. What are those "reasonable questions" about his origins?

Lay some on us, I dare ya.

[thoreau]

Obama is only half of the problem. The other half of the problem is Panamanian-born John McCain, who plans to cede control of the US to the Panamanian government upon taking the oath of office. And since the Panama Canal is run by the Chinese, McCain is basically a Manchurian candidate.

Secret Muslim Barack Obama is backed by Muslim separatists in China's Xinjiang province. So, in the end, this is really a Chinese conflict playing out in American elections.

Don't you people see the danger?

[Andrew]

Bart: So finally, we're all in agreement about what's going on with Obama. Milhouse?

Milhouse: [steps up to blackboard] Ahem. OK, here's what we've got: the Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people --

Bart: Thank you.

Milhouse: -- under the supervision of the reverse vampires --

Lisa: [sighs]

Milhouse: -- are forcing our parents to vote for Obama in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner. [sotto voce] We're through the looking glass, here, people...

[ed]

Just a matter of time till Thomas Jefferson shows up in the family tree.

[The Next Step]

What the LIBERAL, IVORY-TOWER, MEDIA ELITES won't tell you is that Hawaii ISN'T EVEN REALLY A STATE!! Did you know that during World War II Hawaiians DIDN'T EVEN USE REAL AMERICAN DOLLARS?? It's a FACT!!

[squarooticus]

Did you know that during World War II Hawaiians DIDN'T EVEN USE REAL AMERICAN DOLLARS?? It's a FACT!!

Well, to be fair, the mainland doesn't use real American dollars today, either. The only things I see in my wallet are "Federal Reserve Notes".

[Zevatron]

I must admit now that I have my doubts about Obama's origin. It's entirely possible that he's actually (gulp)... Magus! The more I think about it the more it makes sense: only a "highly intelligent and a gifted strategist" as well as a "master planner and schemer" could have out-fought Hillary Clinton.

Make mine Marvel!

[Ethan]

Reason continues its stock trick of building up a strawman (in this case, those who take questioning BHO's origins too far) instead of admitting that there are still many questions about those origins. Rather, Reason would have you simply accept everything the BHO campaign and the MSM says about their candidate, and that's just stupid.

So, do you oppose straw men, or not?

By the way, what legitimate "questions" exist about Obama's origins? Is the answer to either of the two following questions unknown--> (1) Is Obama a citizen of the United States? (2) Is Obama 35 years of age or older? Is there any question at all with regard to Obama's eligibility for the Presidency?

[Neu Mejican]

Can you imagine the furor that Obama could cause among these people if he picks Bill Richardson as VP?

Bill Richardson was born at the Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, California to Mar?a Luisa L?pez-Collada M?rquez (born in Asturias, Spain 1914) and William Blaine Richardson Jr. (1891-1972), a banker who lived and worked in Mexico City for decades. It was his mother who largely took care of him during his youth. He has a younger sister, Vesta. Just before Richardson was born, his mother was sent to California, where her husband's sister lived, to give birth because, as Richardson explained, "My father had a complex about not having been born in the United States."[2] Three of his four grandparents were Mexican citizens, and he identifies himself as Hispanic.[2] Richardson, a U.S. citizen by birthright, was raised during his childhood in Mexico City. At age 13, Richardson's parents sent him to Massachusetts to attend a Boston-area preparatory school, Middlesex School in Concord, Massachusetts...

[Are you in the tank for BHO? F]

There are still questions about the origins of both candidates. With McCain, it's still an open question whether a legal challenge would work. With BHO, we've seen a dispusted COLB and the BHO campaign has not responded by providing a notarized copy of a better document to reporters. If they did that, all questions about it would cease, but they have not done that. Why not? Further, there are still open questions about whether BHO was or would be considered to be Muslim.

That said, I suggest that everyone just accepts everything the BHO campaign and the MSM tells you. Look: something shiny!

[Neu Mejican]

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/28/us/politics/28mccain.html

More on Dr. T's brilliantly keen analysis.

[Neu Mejican]

Further, there are still open questions about whether BHO was or would be considered to be Muslim.

Because being Muslim disqualifies you from being natural born?

Them Muslims is unnatural.

[Brian24]

Oh, a NOTARIZED copy. Yeah, getting it notarized should prove something.

[Zevatron]

Is COLB an accepted FLA these days? WTF is it? Does JSM have one?

[Episiarch]

But Neu, if Richardson's mother was Spanish, that means he's European, and that means it's A-OK with the haters.

[Ethan]

I suggest that everyone just accepts everything the BHO campaign and the MSM tells you. Look: something shiny!

There's that straw man again! I thought you didn't like those.

we've seen a dispusted COLB

Disputed in the far-right blogosphere. That doesn't count.

the BHO campaign has not responded by providing a notarized copy of a better document to reporters

Why should they? So they can give assent to the wild-eyed notion that the first document wasn't good enough? So that you right-wing nutjobs can attack the notary?

[Mo]

NNG,

That's not a photo of infant Obama, he's clearly a toddler there. It's a cover-up I teels ya'.

[Andrew]

Because being Muslim disqualifies you from being natural born?

Them Muslims is unnatural.

Don't you GET IT? BHO is a muslim. On January 21, 2009, the day after taking office, he will have his Vice President killed. He will then call his good friend Osama bin Laden, who will kidnap and torture the families of the members of the US Congress so that they agree to appoint Osama bin Laden as Vice President of the United States. Once that is accomplished, Obama will step down as President, leaving Osama bin Laden as President of the United States.

It's so obvious. And of course, the Obama campaign won't deny this, and the MSM won't talk about it.

[J sub D]

Oh conspiracy theorists . . . is there nothing to crazy for you to believe in?

Apparently not.

[J sub D]

Click here to see how far in the tank you are for BHO | July 23, 2008, 12:53pm | #

Lonewhackoff, right?

[Sparky]

"If they did that, all questions about it would cease...."

Right, cuz all prior evidence clearly indicates that when you humor nutjobs by responding to their paranoid theories, they immediately become lucid and fair-minded. Thanks for that honest, intelligent assessment, Lonewacko. Christ, you're a fucking tool.

[BHO wants you to take this qui]

When the comments on a Reason post are nearly identical to those on a ThinkProgress post, I'd say there's something wrong.

[Lonewacko wants you to take th]

When Lonewacko is too stupid to see the difference between comments on a Reason post and those on a ThinkProgress post, I'd say everything is status quo.

[Zubon]

Parody used to be possible. I miss those days.

[Jim Henley]

Was it over when the Germans bombed the Hawaii Registrar's office????

[anon]

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

That's because he didn't have much hair yet, and the 666 on the top of his head was clearly visable.

[Jennifer]

I STILL think he needs to produce a hard copy of the original Birth Certificate, or he looks like he's hiding something.

This is the stupidest conspiracy theory ever. I do not have my original birth certificate, but a copy re-issued in 1995. What am I trying to hide? I mean, besides the fact that I'll turn thirteen this September and every guy who's ever flirted with me on this site is a pedophile sex offender.

[First Little Pig]

What about McCain? He was born 11 months before the law was passed that made people born in the Panama Canal Zone citizens. McCain is not eligible to be president.

Not that I really care, but he isn't.

[Chloe]

The only place ever hear about this "conspiracy theory" is when reading Weigel's posts on Reason.

Everywhere else seems to have pretty much dropped it. But some people seem to have a conspiracy to make it a conspiracy.

[David Weigel]

The only place ever hear about this "conspiracy theory" is when reading Weigel's posts on Reason.

Do a Google blogs search, or listen to some late night talk radio. This stuff gets out there.

[Episiarch]

LoneWacko hasn't been this entertaining in ages.

[Chloe]

it's all old news

[KT]

Maybe the campaign hasn't responded with the documents you keep asking for because a) they are busy people with things to take care of that actually matter, b) they don't see a need to satiate people like you who clearly refuse to vote for him regardless, and c) if they take the time to discredit this smear, the same people will just smear him some other way. Wack-A-Mole is fun for kids, but not so much for campaigns.

Plus, this whole thing is so stupid on its face that I'm sure they'd rather have you spouting off about his supposed unproved origins than something less absurd.

The dude is from Hawaii. Let it go.

[Elemenope]

I do not have my original birth certificate, but a copy re-issued in 1995. What am I trying to hide? I mean, besides the fact that I'll turn thirteen this September and every guy who's ever flirted with me on this site is a pedophile sex offender.

Does. Not. COMPUTE!

"Nomad, you have made an error, and are therefore imperfect. Imperfection must be destroyed!"

[Isaac Bartram]

I normally wouldn't, but answering this is like shooting FishInABarrel.

With McCain, it's still an open question whether a legal challenge would work.

What kind of "legal challenge" do you have in mind? He was born on American territory to parents who were both American citizens. The reason they were not in the USA proper is that his father was serving in the Navy (a parent serving in the armed forces is another exception to citizenship question for those born outside the US when there may be other questions regarding citizenship).

With BHO, we've seen a dispusted COLB...

What dispute? It looks exactly like the COLB the State of Hawaii sent to me in 2001 when I requested a coppy of my birth certificate. I later found the original photostatic certified version that they issued in 1948 (that I'd thought I lost) but they don't do those any more.

...and the BHO campaign has not responded by providing a notarized copy of a better document to reporters.

Ummm....because the COLB is what the State of Hawaii (and every other state AFAIK) issues nowadays. There isn't any other kind.

I've really got to know, are you really this BatshitInsane, or is this some kind of PerForManceArt?

[Fluffy]

When the comments on a Reason post are the same as the comments on a ThinkProgress post, it means you're so crazy that literally everyone notices.

[Isaac Bartram]

Of course, I was born in Hawai'i before it was a state. I guess that just makes me an IllegalAlien.

[Isaac Bartram]

First Little Pig

McCain's father was an American citizen. McCain would be an American citizen if he had been born in Outer Mongolia.

[Isaac Bartram]

Further, there are still open questions about whether BHO was or would be considered to be Muslim.

And if he were?

WTF???

Mid you if I ever thought up a sentence like that, i'd have to write it down.

I'd want to see if it looked as crazy on paper as it sounded in my head.

[J sub D]

Plus, this whole thing is so stupid on its face that I'm sure they'd rather have you spouting off about his supposed unproved origins than something less absurd.

Your talking about the gay pedophile orgies, aren't you?

[joe]

Jackson, I'm not sure that any info on the COLB is fake, but perhaps the document was set up to appear to be fake, so that we would spend hundreds of hours studying it?

Or maybe that's just what they WANT you to think!

It's a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in another mystery, wrapped in a tortilla, grilled, and served with yet another mystery. And a coke.

[Elemenope]

And if he were?

Well, you see Isaac, a Muslim's blood is not red like yours and mine, but a think black bile, circulated through a thrumming pump powered by hate. That's not a heart, Isaac, remember that!

[/ignorant American]

[Isaac Bartram]

I'm glad you cleared that up for me, LMNOP.

I have so much to learn.

[No Name Guy]

The speculating about he being a Muslim reminds me how European anti-semites in the 19th and early 20th century always used to wonder if any politicians had "Jewish blood".

[Elemenope]

The speculating about he being a Muslim reminds me how European anti-semites in the 19th and early 20th century always used to wonder if any politicians had "Jewish blood".

I hear you can tell by the nose.

What, too soon?

[No Name Guy In Nutbag Conspiri]

"Barack" is pretty close to "Baruch", which is a JEWISH name! His early political supporters used to joke that he must be part Jewish since he got so much support from the Chicago Jewish community*.

Make of that what you will.

*This is actually true, which makes the accusations of anti-semitism laughable.

[joe]

I like the way they use "COLB" instead of "Birth Certificate" to sound all, y'know, expertesey and stuff.

[jw]

Sure, McCain has infant photos. But we all know they're forgeries because McCain was born before the advent of photography. So, what is he hiding?

[Mudkipz]

LoneObamaQuizLoverGuy does have a point about the whole Muslim thing. If he was born with it, did he ever get his shots as an infant? Did Hawaii have those yet? If they have so much problem providing non-existent documents to mainland GOP operatives posing as concerned Democrats, God knows they probably didn't even have needles back in the day, or, if they did, they probably would have just thrown them into the nearest volcano on a whim. Also, why doesn't the MSM talk about Obama's connection to the Hawaiian separatist movement? Better yet, how come they've only given a few prominent interviews to members of the almost memberless PUMA organization?

Also, sniper fire. Where did it go? Did Obama ride a friendly djinn through time in order to stop Serbian nationalists from shooting at Hillary Clinton in order that he might discredit her? And why is that when I hear a new term for the first time, it always seems like I hear it again several times in different situations within a few days? Is it because of the 12th Imam?

HOLY SHIT WHERE IS THE 12TH IMAM'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE I JUST HAD AN IDEA ABOUT SOME MORE STUFF TO INVESTIGATE WITH MY SPYTECH GEAR BY MATTEL!

[nunya]

Elemenope hit closer to the truth than s/he may have intended. Barack Obama, Sr. never divorced his first wife, Kezia, despite taking several additional wives and having multiple children afterward.

It should not be held against him--you don't get to chose your parents--but his mother's marriage to his father was bigamy, and therefore invalid.

[COLB BEEF]

No Name Guy | July 23, 2008, 3:04pm | #

Yeah, fucking Jews blowing up shit in Berlin. Those fuckers.

[Gary Ridgway]

It's his ears, Elemenope! Not the nose! His Muslim ears [unhelpful source]!

[No Name Guy]

"
It should not be held against him--you don't get to chose your parents--but his mother's marriage to his father was bigamy, and therefore invalid."

So what?

[Jennifer]

Does. Not. COMPUTE!

Oh, yes it does. Not counting old school records and the like (which could easily be faked), the oldest government document I have verifying my birth is less than 13 years old. So there's only two possibilities: one, I'm twelve (and remarkably precocious, though I do look like hell for my age); or two, I'm thirtysomething and don't have my original document because it was issued when I was an infant who just happened (how convenient) to be too immature to keep track of important paperwork like her birth certificate.

That second option is obvious lunacy.

[Mudkipz]

"It should not be held against him--you don't get to chose your parents--but his mother's marriage to his father was bigamy, and therefore invalid."

In addition to being really relevant to all sorts of things, this should make it more difficult for Obama to get his hands on the family goat fortune.

[Reason has done a triple lutz]

Isaac Bartram writes: What kind of "legal challenge" do you have in mind?

Perhaps the one mentioned in the NYT a few days ago? I know Reason sets a low bar, but really try to overcome that.

And, of course, there's a difference between a disputed document printed only on a website - dailykos no less - and an actual hard copy examined by several reporters and vouched for by the issuing agency.

[Zubon]

In a tortilla, joe? Now we see the InterestInTheSubject. The conspiracy runs deep.

You should ask hard questions about those tortillas and upload a video to YouTube.

[No Name Guy]

The RealQuestion is why LoneWacko puts RandomCapitalization and LackofSpaces BetweenWords.

Why do you do that? Can I get TheAnswer on tape and upload it to YouTube?

[joe]

I hereby proclaim LoneWacko's assertion that he is an American to be disputed.

[joe]

Wow, I just read on the interent that LoneWacko's American citizenship is disputed.

Did anyone else see that?

[No Name Guy]

Me too joe. I demand a BirthCertificate.

[No Name Guy]

LoneWacko employs IllegalAliens.

[Elemenope]

LoneWacko employs IllegalAliens.

Yeah! I read that on a respectable Internet news site!

[Ah fuck. Thunderstorms are rolling in hard. Cutting power.]

[Citizen Nothing]

Has anyone seen LoneWacko and Felipe Calderon in the same room at the same time?

[A concerned reader]

"Wow, I just read on the interent that LoneWacko's American citizenship is disputed.

Did anyone else see that?"

Holy cow!! This is the second web page where I've read that! (See http://reason.com/blog/show/127700.html#comments). I'm not saying it's definitely true, but there are LegitimateQuestions.

It would be easy for Lonewacko to put these rumors to rest. Why doesn't he?

[Episiarch]

LoneWacko: AnAmerican, or TheAmerican?

[J sub D]

Other sites are also carrying the rumor that Lonewhackoff's citizenship is in dispute. He'd better produce some damned convincing evidence soon. Why is he hidibng his birth certificate?

What do we really know about Lonewhackoff's past anyway.

[MattXIV]

I like the way they use "COLB" instead of "Birth Certificate" to sound all, y'know, expertesey and stuff.

It's because they don't just want proof that he was born, but that he was born alive - he may be a secret zombie Muslim.

[Jimmy Bob]

A 46 year old birth certificate would be impossible to read -- providing a noatarized, "original" certificate would only add fuel to the whacko fire.

[Jim Henley]

LeaveLone WackoA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNE!!!!

[thoreau]

I think it would be hilarious if some undocumented immigrant used LoneWacko's SocialSecurityNumber for paperWorkPurposes.

[Sparky]

"I think it would be hilarious if some undocumented immigrant used LoneWacko's SocialSecurityNumber for paperWorkPurposes."

Maybe one already did, and that explains his particular psychosis.

Judging from his comments today, it might have been a DirtyMuslim.

[dhex]

wouldn't it make more sense for lonewacko to be the sort of character that the reconquista types want to promote? he's ridiculous, and certainly besmirches a lot of immigration control folk who aren't maniac racists. (think about it - he never mentions irish illegal immigrants.)

lonewacko is a mexican plot!

cui bono, people. cui bono.

[Thlayli]

I've really got to know, are you really this BatshitInsane, or is this some kind of PerForManceArt?

ParForTheCourse, I'd say.

[The Guru]

I can't believe you people are even wasting time commenting on this. What a non-issue! The issue will be how extremely inexperienced Barack Obama is.

Ok, before you accuse me of being a McCainiac, let me assure you that is not the case. He is an equally disgusting candidate for many reasons.

You people are going to have to deal with Obama's desperately inadequate resume if you want to see him elected president.

[NoBoringLather]

I've heard rumors that LoneWacko'sSocialSecurityNumber is the secret code that triggers the OhNoesMexicanUprisingZOMG. It's being driven round on the side of a TacoTruck like that Life Lock guy.

[J sub D]

You people are going to have to deal with Obama's desperately inadequate resume if you want to see him elected president.

We could instead deal with McCains well documented hypocrisy.

Like you, I'm not happy with either of them. I'll probably vote Barr.

[Chet]

McCain's father was an American citizen. McCain would be an American citizen if he had been born in Outer Mongolia.

The problem is that McCain is so old, he predates a great deal of the relevant laws. Specifically, he's older than the law that granted full American citizenship to persons born in the Canal Zone, but younger than the law that made it an American holding (and therefore, outside the statutes that confer American citizenship on persons born to American citizens outside the borders of the United States.)

McCain is so old that, the argument goes, his citizenship was granted by statute, and therefore he's not a natural born citizen. Not because he was born outside the US, but because he was born within its holdings but outside its territory.

Persons in similar situations have been denied citizenship and deported, so it's not an automatic "gimmie" for McCain. No court in the land will touch it, though.

[Anonymouse]

I'm not sure that any info on the COLB is fake, but perhaps the document was set up to appear to be fake, so that we would spend hundreds of hours studying it?

If this is actually what the Obama campaign is doing with its time, I will be making a large donation.

[joshua corning]

When did all of Weigle's coverage of Obama degenerate to conspiracy theories only?

Clinton needs to get back in the race, apparently you need a Democrat running against Obama to get any hard analysis of the guy around here.

[Cala]

Obama's a Cylon. It's at least as good of a theory as any of the rest.

[IsLoneWackoLouDobbsBlackBaby?]

The problem is that McCain is so old, he predates a great deal of the relevant laws.

Not really. The problem is that the US Constitution is so old, and the Article II stipulation applies to such a small, homogenous group of people, all of whom have satisfied it to the letter.

I'm not a fan of constitutional courts that issue advisory rulings -- the best you can say is that they're suited to countries with a code-based legal system -- but this is one time where I wish the SCOTUS could just put out a one-page per curiam saying 'yeah, all non-naturalized US Citizens are eligible'.

[J sub D]

Lonewacko still hasn't produced his original birth certificate. Why not? Have he something to hide? It's suspicious and the internet is buzzing about his real nationality.

Some are saying that he's behaving just like those closeted anti-gay Republicans. That is, he's an illegal and overcompensating trying to hide it.

Has anybody else heard those theories?

[G.W. Bush]

NSA tells me that Lonewacko's IP address is in South Africa.

[Wonk]

for Lonewacko - would this qualify as "vouched for by the issuing agency"?

We e-mailed it to the Hawaii Department of Health, which maintains such records, to ask if it was real.

"It's a valid Hawaii state birth certificate," spokesman Janice Okubo told us.

Click on my name for the link to the above article.

[Kolohe]

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

There were no cameras on the islands when he was born. From the historical documents,

[Cindie]

http://elect2009.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/obama-has-changed-no-more-flip-flops-he-just-lies/
oh wait..no more flip flops..JUST LIES!

[Kolohe]

think about it - he never mentions irish illegal immigrants.

To be fair, I think he did cite some irish govt conspiracy the other day.

His monomania contains multitudes.

[JoshA]

Wait, the Obama people didn't answer an email from someone who calls himself "lonewacko"? I'm shocked, shocked I say.

[Sparky]

"Wait, the Obama people didn't answer an email from someone who calls himself "lonewacko"? I'm shocked, shocked I say."

The worst of it is he attaches a pic of himself in his Fisher Price journalist hat and Carl Bernstein underoos to all his emails to politicians because he thinks that makes him look more professional.

It's kind of pathetic, really. It almost makes me feel some sympathy for him as this "LoneWacko's American citizenship is disputed" story gets legs. But then I think to myself, he has the power to make these questions cease, and he doesn't. Why not? What is he TryingToHide beneath those five-sizes-too-small, jelly-donut stained underoos of his?

[Jon H]

I demand that Lonewacko produce his green card, or a notarized copy, so that we can have confirmation that he is in this country legally.

[Tom Maguire]

The idea of Obama's family collaborating to create a false biography for him is, in itself, hilarious. How did those 1961 dinner table conversations go, do they think? "If we don't create a false story, and fast, our half-African son of an 18-year old mother will have no chance at becoming president!"

Har de har. Now change that to:

"If we don't create a false story, and fast, our half-African son of an 18-year old mother will have no chance at becoming a US citizen."

Not possible? Maybe they (and especially, she) didn't want her son to be a Kenyan national. It's easy to think of possible reasons, including maternal custody in the event of a separation (possibly only a physical separation, if they weren't formally married.)

I don't buy these conspiracy theories, but better rebuttals, please.

[J sub D]

It's kind of pathetic, really. It almost makes me feel some sympathy for him as this "LoneWacko's American citizenship is disputed" story gets legs. But then I think to myself, he has the power to make these questions cease, and he doesn't. Why not? What is he TryingToHide beneath those five-sizes-too-small, jelly-donut stained underoos of his?

Uhh, those aren't "jelly donut" stains.

[FDE]

The KOS birth certificate is a proven forgery.

So, was he imported in Kennedy's orphan airlift and the certificate faked? His parents not married at birth? Certificate of birth given out after the marriage? Date changed?

False biographies were common in the 60's for unmarried parents, adoptions, etc.

Obama doesn't qualify and he won't supply the original birth certificate because it's forged somewhere to make him a US citizen.

This blog has more infi:

http://citizenwells.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/obama-natural-born-citizen-obamas-birth-certificate-obama-born-in-kenya-is-obama-eligible-to-be-president/

[prolefeed]

The constitution requires that you be born a U.S. citizen. If Barack Obama fails this criteria, even by what some might consider a technicality, and McCain's camp can prove this -- McCain wins the election by default.

So, digging around to ascertain whether Obama is eligible to run for president is a legitimate inquiry.

[prolefeed]

The constitution requires that you be born a U.S. citizen ...

to run for president.

[Tacos mmm...]

So, digging around to ascertain whether Obama is eligible to run for president is a legitimate inquiry.

In the sense that praying to Thor is a legitimate way to make it rain, I suppose you're right.

[Syd]

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as an infant?

Proving, I guess, that Barack Obama was born fully grown, which must have been hard on his mother.

How would this wacko know if there were infant photos or not? (Not to mention one was supplied in a matter of minutes.)

[AutismNewsBeat]

Hawaii statehood was signed into law on Jan. 3, 1959, and Obama was born 19 months later. However, the gestation period of space aliens is much longer, sometimes up to 36 months, so there is still some question of why Obama's mother was living in Hawaii when Obama was born. Was Obama an "anchor baby"? Was he conceived in a foreign land? What's he covering up?

[RN]

Well, don't forget he said in kindergarten that he wanted to grow up to be President so it's completely plausible there was a conspiracy since his birth. Yeah right!!!

[Cala]

"If we don't create a false story, and fast, our half-African son of an 18-year old mother will have no chance at becoming a US citizen."

Why? Obama was born in Hawaii a year and a half after it was a state. He's a citizen at that point regardless of who his parents were. (He'd also have citizenship through his mother.)

Whether his parents were married or not (they were, but for the sake of the loons) actually wouldn't matter to his US citizenship.

[ajay]

Even if he were born in Kenya, even if his parents weren't properly married, his mother is still a US citizen... which would make him one by birth. Right?

[RobertSeattle]

You know what is coming next... WHERE were Obama's parents NINE MONTHS prior to the birth. What position did they use to conceive?

[Fred]

Have you noticed that there are no photos of Obama as a zygote?

[aqualung]

No pictures of Obama as a spermatozoan either; i guess he just gets lost in the crowd...

[Andrew]

The KOS birth certificate is a proven forgery.

So, was he imported in Kennedy's orphan airlift and the certificate faked? His parents not married at birth? Certificate of birth given out after the marriage? Date changed?

False biographies were common in the 60's for unmarried parents, adoptions, etc.

Obama doesn't qualify and he won't supply the original birth certificate because it's forged somewhere to make him a US citizen.

This blog has more infi:

The crazy is strong with this one.

[Chaz]

I find this hilarious.

I think some should read Title 8 of the US code Section 1401, which lays out "natural born" citizenship. And unless Barack's mother isn't who he says he qualifies no matter where he was born.

Read: "Any one born outside the United States, if one parent is an alien and as long as the other parent is a citizen of the U.S. who lived in the U.S. for at least five years (with military and diplomatic service included in this time)"

[RobertSeattle]

It just dawned on me that Obama would have been just old enough to have PULLED the trigger for Lee Harvey Oswald...

[Isaac Bartram]

Even if he were born in Kenya, even if his parents weren't properly married, his mother is still a US citizen... which would make him one by birth. Right?

Actually, no. See exceptions in the citizenship laws that disquallify parents whose residence in the US after a certain age is not long enough.

But since he was in fact born in Hawai'i, it's irrelevant.

People who need to read the citizenship regulations of this country before they embarass themselves further seem to be excused from embarassment becauses there doesn't seen to be anyone who knows enough about said laws to embarass them.

[Isaac Bartram]

The crazy is strong with this one.

You can say that again.

[RobertSeattle]

The Constiution says you have to be 35 years old to be President. But it doesn't specify EARTH years. Maybe the Founder meant MARS years. In that Case, McCain is old enough, but Obama is not. GAME-SET-MATCH.

http://www.exploratorium.edu/ronh/age/index.html

[Brian C.B.]

You know, you could have used that "Startled Prairie Dog" clip in here, somewhere.

[agum]

If the Obama campaign won't answer queries from LoneWacko, then maybe CigarSkunk should get on the case.

[huxley]

"If Barack Obama fails this criteria, even by what some might consider a technicality, and McCain's camp can prove this -- McCain wins the election by default."

I don't think that's actually how the American electoral system works ...

[A Hermit]

[wingnut]Has anyone checked the kerning on the fonts in that newspaper clipping? Could have been forged by Dan Rather???!!!![/wingnut]

[Aj]

You're ALL wrong! Barack Hussein Obama is actually...wait for it, Great Cthulhu!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu

You will notice that Great Cthulhu has a campaign website:

http://www.cthulhu.com/

And even an LOL RSS feed:

http://lolthulhu.com/

The stars are right. Vote Cthulhu (aka Obama) in '08! Why settle for the lesser evil?

[Angry Sam]

Obama's signage is far too Euclidean for him to be Cthulhu. Also, no tentacles.

[Gina]

THE PUMAS ARE TOTALLY JUSTIFIED ...

1. Contrary to what Obamabots say ...
Obama and Hillary were in a dead heat,
when the DNC pressured Hillary into not
only conceding, but campaigning for Obama.
2. Obama is once again in a dead heat, but now
with McCain, even though Obamabots act like
Obama has already won (like they did in the
primaries against Hillary). So, this means that
half of the Democrats, and all the Republicans
(3/4 of America) dIdn't want Obama. Plus, he
didn't even win the popular vote, and refused a
revote in Michigan and Florida.
3. Obama has the thinnest resume in politics, and
he won state legislature and Senator by
disqualifications of his opponents, not by earned
experience, or votes.
4. Obama's one claim to fame is being a community
organizer, where he boasts of registering voters.
Then he took their votes away from them, by
disqualifying his opponents on technicalities, prior
to the election.
5. Obama's mentor of 20 years, was an anti-American
racist ... not to mention other unsavory associations.
6. Obama is simply buying the election, since he's
good at fund raising ... hardly a qualification to be
President of the United States.
7. The media never vetted Obama, and they are
giving him a free ride, plus more than twice the
print and air time as McCain, as they did against
Hillary.
8. 90% of blacks are voting for Obama, because he is
black, while the campaign gained ground by
accusing most opponents of racism.
9. Obamabots were, and are extremely nasty and sarcastic
towards Hillary supporters, as well as McCain supporters.
10. Pumas should be applauded for putting country before party ...
especially a party that did not represent them, and a party
which highjacked the nomination for Obama.

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