One Company Wants to Buy Another Company. America Is Doomed!!!


So, the Belgian beermaker InBev, which brews Beck's and Stella Artois, wants to buy the maker of even shittier beer: Anheuser-Busch. But not if idiot Republican politicians have any say in the matter!

Republican Gov. Matt Blunt said Wednesday he opposes the deal, and directed the Missouri Department of Economic Development to see if there was a way to stop it.

"I am strongly opposed to the sale of Anheuser-Busch, and today's offer to purchase the company is deeply troubling to me," Blunt said in a statement.

Web sites have sprung up opposing the deal on patriotic grounds, arguing that such an iconic U.S. firm shouldn't be handed over to foreign ownership. One of the sites, called SaveAB.com, was launched by Blunt's former chief of staff, Ed Martin.

"Shareholders should resist choosing dollars over American jobs," Martin said in a statement Wednesday night. "Selling out to the Belgians is not worth it—because this is about more than beer: it's about our jobs and our nation."

One of many ironies in the matter is that Anheuser-Busch lifted the name "Budweiser" from a Czech brewery that first opened in 1795 (the word has been used to describe beer from the town of Ceske Budejovice since Medieval times). A-B has been licking its chops at the prospect of buying the original makers of Budweiser, but Czech protectionism (and the outstanding trademark disputes) has kept it from being privatized.

Bonus bad joke, grafted from the grand and pointless old Coors-boycott days of my youth: How is drinking Budweiser like making love in a canoe?

A: It's fucking near water!