Politics

Hillary vs. Sinbad vs. the Snipers

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Columnist Ron Hart on Hillary, Sinbad, and those phantom snipers:

Hillary starts telling this stump story and, like all politicians, she is of course the hero. She tells crowds that she withstood enemy sniper fire to assure our troops that they could see the second-rate comic stylings of Sinbad. Usually, our troops get to see Pamela Anderson and Jerry Seinfeld. Imagine how bad a war that must have been, and the disappointment in those soldiers' eyes, when they looked up and saw Hillary and Sinbad. I really think we owe our troops better.

Amazingly, holding the Democrats accountable for the truth in lieu of the media with their Democratic pompoms on was comic Sinbad, who kept pointing out that the story she had been telling people for three months was a crock. So to sum it up, Sinbad is now doing the media's job when it comes to scrutinizing the truth of Democratic candidates.

Outed by intrepid and embedded journalist Sinbad, the major media outlets found clear film footage of Hillary, peacefully shaking hands in the receiving line with Bosnian dignitaries.

Whole thing here.

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  1. Hart will get the baton from PJ O’Rourke at some point. He is the best libertarian humorist writing today. Pointing out that it took 3 months and Sinbad to make the media look into Hillary’s whopper is so true.

  2. Hillary Clinton is a psychopathic bitch. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!!

  3. Sinbad is my new hero. Right up there with Popeye, Jason and all the other sailors.

  4. does anyone else think that the pant-suit joke has reached the point of diminishing returns?

    It was a sharp little quip, but it’s really been done to death.

  5. Amazingly, holding the Democrats accountable for the truth in lieu of the media with their Democratic pompoms on…

    so who’s holding the Republicans accountable for the truth?

    the media takes things at face value from either side because

    1. some of its members are lazy
    2. you can’t fact-check every single thing politicians claim (though you should, if they tell you it’s raining, look out the window)

    I’m not familiar with Hart, but if he thinks Hillary got a pass for being a democrat, or that the republicans are always paragons of truthiness, he’s full of faeces.

  6. The whole thing is such an embarassment for our major media, with their layers of editors and fact-checkers.

    Did no one hear this story and think “Gosh, it seems like there would have been a ton of stories and I would remember the First Lady and her teenage daughter fleeing sniper fire after a high-speed insertion. Let me check on that.”?

    Apparently not.

  7. joe, jokes don’t die until they are driven into the ground, by people who don’t understand joke freshness dating. Being done to death isn’t enough.

  8. Rap name: “Phant Suit H-RC Gunshot” is a new take. And it is very creative about “Granted, I do not know the challenges of accessorizing a bullet proof pantsuit under enemy fire” This guy is funny as hell. I am glad he is on our side.

  9. joe,

    It’s funnier than ever ?

    People have spoken about Obama getting a bump after his Wright-mess speech, but I think he’s gotten much more of a bump in not being Hillary Clinton. Her making up stories like this is worse than having poorly selected associates. I know politicians all lie, but maybe we should hold them accountable when we catch them at it? Besides, this was a stupid lie. It shows how weak the candidates are this time around that she’s even remotely in this race.

  10. I think Hart, who has been on Hillary (the Hill da beast) as he calls her in our paper, wants Barack to be the Dem candidate. He will be easier to beat, or, if not, at least get us out of Iraq. Hart takes to task the Religious Right’s hijacking of the GOP and a way that is very thought provoking. Hart said the country has a choice of a black male or a older white woman–the same choice Michael Jackson makes every morning.

  11. When she stops wearing ’em, we’ll stop making fun of ’em.

    Also: When HRC Naders this election and McCain wins, what percentage if Dems will blame her? Or will she get a pass in the media’s rush to blame an Obama defeat on racism (ignoring the months of HRC/Obama party cannibalization?) (cough)McGovern(cough)

    Welcome to the 100 Year’s War, Part 2.

  12. It was a very Al Gore-ish lie in that it had almost no upside to it. It may have impressed the people in the room, but it also reminded everyone else that she can’t be trusted to call a spade a spade.

  13. the media takes things at face value from either side because

    1. some of its members are lazy
    2. you can’t fact-check every single thing politicians claim (though you should, if they tell you it’s raining, look out the window)

    3. They can either do meticulous research to verify facts and spend hours cross-checking what they print to ensure accuracy, or they can print whatever someone tells them. Either way, they get paid the same.

  14. Chris Matthews is interviewing Obama on Hardball tonite and says he will ask Obama why he isn’t hammering Clinton on this Bosnia lie.
    Matthews observes that if a Sgt. falsified his combat report in this way, he’d be in big trouble, so why should someone seeking to be Commander in Chief not be brought to account.
    Matthews apparently thinks Obama doesn’t have the guts to go for a fighter’s knockout punch.

  15. stop making me defend democrats!

    Hillary lied, no doubt.

    Gore’s so-called lies often weren’t, on closer inspection. I’ll take Gore’s “lies” over Bush and Cheney’s lies, any day.

    Hey, we know exactly where the WMDs are! The war will be cheap and easy, like the perfect date! The Iraqis will welcome us with open arms, almost like the perfect date! We’re not torturing people! We’re turning the corner!

  16. STFU! I am entitled to the presidency.

  17. Al Gore confused the names of two FEMA bureaucrats, accurately reported the contents of a newspaper story, and described his sponsorship of a bill in high-falutin’ language.

    Clearly, the man must be stopped before he kills again.

  18. Matthews apparently thinks Obama doesn’t have the guts

    Obama needn’t do a thing. Why take the cars keys from the drunk?
    Sit back, don’t say anything stupid and wait for her to crash.

  19. SugarFree | April 2, 2008, 10:03am | #

    When she stops wearing ’em, we’ll stop making fun of ’em.

    Politicans wear business attire in public. Women’s business attire consists of two-piece suits with pants, or two piece suits with a skirt.

    Deal.

  20. Obama needn’t do a thing. Why take the cars keys from the drunk?
    Sit back, don’t say anything stupid and wait for her to crash.

    Precisely. It’s the same reason Hillary didn’t say anything about Rev. Wright for two weeks, and why her mentioning it was such a powerful indication that the story had died.

    When your opponent is going down the tubes, you keep quiet about it, so the story doesn’t become about you and your negative campaigning.

  21. Obama is cool as a cucumber, and it’s gotta be driving the Clintons insane.

  22. Nobody that can only bowl a 37 is “cucumber” cool. Cool perhaps, but not cucumber.

    I will admit that the only thing more uncool than being bad enough at bowling to bowl a 37 is being good enough at bowling to bowl a 300. But you have to find a number in between.

  23. Hillary is really going down in the PA polls.

    Hes even ahead of hear (albiet barely) for the first time in one. Look at the trendline, shes gotta be nervous.

  24. OK, so he won’t win the bowling presidency.

  25. Look, we need to stop being so afraid of speaking the truth about the relationship between genetics and athletic ability.

    People with Barack Obama’s genes are going to be good at basketball, and bad at bowling. And lo and behold, he’s good at basketball, and bad at bowling.

    There, I said it, and I’m not afraid.

    It’s genetics, people. Barack Obama is good at basektball, and bad at bowling because he’s…

  26. …tall and lanky.

  27. And half, er, Kenyan or something.

  28. Did no one hear this story and think “Gosh, it seems like there would have been a ton of stories and I would remember the First Lady and her teenage daughter fleeing sniper fire after a high-speed insertion. Let me check on that.”?

    These are the same people who keep calling on pundits who haven’t made an accurate prediction in decades. It’s truly amazing how many journalists simply have no BS detector.

    And no appreciation of history. Yesterday’s story is fishwrap. Journalism is in a hurry.

  29. No one without a beer gut can bowl. Center of gravity’s all wrong. Maybe the media should look into what Michelle’s been feeding the poor man.

  30. LOL, SugarFree!

    THAT’S the problem – he doesn’t have enough heft to control the ball.

    I guess the guy really is a light-weight.

  31. joe, that was great.

  32. I was all in favor of throwing Bush and Cheney out on their asses after the first term for reasons that included (but were not limited to) the fact that they lied to the world, including us. And I would in no way say that Gore’s “my grandma pays more for her meds than the same meds for her dog” lie was equivalent to, say, a false pretense to empire.

    My comment was intended along the lines of “If you’re going to lie, lie about something big enough to matter. And not immediately before an election so that it’s the last thing people associate you with.” Gore failed on both of these counts. As is Hillary. Thus the comparison.

  33. These are the same people who keep calling on pundits who haven’t made an accurate prediction in decades. It’s truly amazing how many journalists simply have no BS detector.

    Assuming MSM punditry is ever about predicting the future, and not simply a form of propaganda disguised as analysis.

    You know, like how MSM journalism is simply propaganda disguised as reporting.

  34. If only Nipsey Russell were around to go after her tax returns.

  35. Sinbad’s HBO special was funny.

  36. joe,

    I’m just trying to be scientific and shit. If your liberal paranoia reads what I wrote and gets “I think Obama’s a lightweight” out of it, that’s your problem, not mine. I was just riffing off your “tall and lanky” joke and you have to go and be a partisan nincompoop about it.

  37. And half, er, Kenyan or something.

    He should have run a marathon.

  38. Easy, there, SugarFree. I was just riffing off of your joke, too.

  39. Not very well, apparently.

  40. joe must be a Sinbad fan.

  41. David: He enjoyed a good run there in the 90s, didn’t he. Time for a comeback!

  42. Timbo-

    The comedian, like the candidate, is pure 1995.

  43. Maybe the media should look into what Michelle’s been feeding the poor man.

    I’d suggest lots of eggs and butter.

  44. And half, er, Kenyan or something.

    He should have run a marathon.

    Well, a half-marathon, to compensate for his Kansan side.

  45. “These are the same people who keep calling on pundits who haven’t made an accurate prediction in decades. It’s truly amazing how many journalists simply have no BS detector.”

    Do you call out your bosses and executives at work?

  46. Between the bowling video and his Ellen dance, either he is just another effeminate aristocrat or we have another McGreevey on our hands.

  47. Well, a half-marathon, to compensate for his Kansan side.

    How about a half marathon, half corn shucking biathlon?

  48. Heh. Half-marathon.

  49. Don’t be so hard about Hillary and the sniper fire. Maybe she remembered her’s and Bill’s ole’ buddy Ron Brown. He had an airplane-related mishap in that region of the world too. Maybe she had a twinge of saddness or something to trigger her memory. By the way, the 12th anniversary of Brown going down will be April 3rd.

  50. second-rate comic stylings of Sinbad

    That’s being generous, Nick. Extremely generous.

    However, since he’s beating on St Hill, I’ll give him second rate and not gripe about it.

  51. By the way, the 12th anniversary of Brown going down will be April 3rd.

    Monica too.

  52. Was Ron Brown the guy on Barney Miller? I have a bet with somebody.

  53. The thing that I don’t get is the point of the sniper story. Let’s assume that it’s true. What would the story prove?
    It would prove that the Clinton administration was very careless about the safety of the first lady and the president’s kid. That is not a positive for HRC.
    Would it make her an abler foreign policy executive than Obama? Does wisdom come from being shot at?

  54. Ron Glass, and you must mention Firefly as well as the excellent Barney Miller every time you type his name.

  55. she can’t be trusted to call a spade a spade.

    Legate Damar, perhaps not the most apt phrasing, given the current state of the Democratic primary.

  56. Sorry too, joe. April Fool’s has left me with a defective humorameter.

  57. she can’t be trusted to call a spade a spade.

    Legate Damar, perhaps not the most apt phrasing, given the current state of the Democratic primary.

    No kidding. Avoiding unfortunate word choices during this campaign has been a real bitch.

  58. “Bitch?” joe, Donald Sutherland is now pointing at you and uttering that eerie pod-person screech.

  59. Look, I just latched onto a bad word!

    Mea culpa.

    Seriously, Hillary fans, no need to get your panties in a wad.

  60. I mean…

    I mean…

  61. I am waiting for Dave Barry’s take on this before I decide.

  62. What would the story prove? It would prove that the Clinton administration was very careless about the safety of the first lady and the president’s kid.

    Maybe they thought that First Kid was a documentary, and that Sinbad was really an elite Secret Service agent specializing in protecting presidential offspring.

  63. There’s never a sniper around when you need one.

  64. He hates these cans!

  65. “…tall and lanky.”

    I have heard it said that Obama is a long-legged mac daddy.

  66. joe! I pronounce you anathema!

  67. Look, this nonsense has to end NOW! Period!

  68. I mean…

    I mean…

    I don’t mean…

  69. I just read this column and laughed my ass off. Hart is funny as shit.

  70. Oh, joe, you’ve made little Chelsea cry.

  71. . . . and then, my friends, after single-handedly taking out the Bosnian sniper nest, I then joined Sinbad, who was making his seventh voyage, where I served as first mate (and they say I don’t have experience!).

    We sailed to the Land of the Pygmies, although I don’t think they looked any smaller than the average Congressman.

    We went to the Island of Circe, this cool Wiccan goddess who turns men into pigs – talk about redundancy, ha ha! (Oops, is this thing on?)

    So then we saved Princess Andromeda from the Kraken monster . . .

  72. I’m reminded again of what a friend said when he saw Sigourney Weaver in Aliens: “Rambitch.”

    Oh, crap, now I’m doing it.

  73. Good stuff, joe.

  74. ‘m just trying to be scientific and shit. If your liberal paranoia reads what I wrote and gets “I think Obama’s a lightweight” out of it, that’s your problem, not mine. I was just riffing off your “tall and lanky” joke and you have to go and be a partisan nincompoop about it.

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