Ann Coultezzzzz…

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There was a nice CPAC moment at around 3:30 when I visited the Libertarian Party's CPAC booth, just a short walk (past the Townhall.com nook) from the Ron Paul booth built on the ashes of the Mitt Romney booth. The LP was scurrying to deal with all the interest in some alternative party, any alternative party, in wake of the McCain coup. Passersby were taking the Nolan political quizzes and sticking stickers on a chart when they were done. When I got there the chart looked like a feather duster–a thin line of stickers in the totalitarian quadrant, and a line of stickers fanning out to fill the "libertarian" bit of the chart.

"Cool," I thought. Then I realized how self-selected it was. And shortly thereafter I walked over to Ann Coulter's clandestine speech (she was banned from the main ballroom for last year's gay slur against John Edwards) sponsored by YAF and realized that it was really, really self-selected. A terrible Henny Youngman routine in a sound-sucking underground room drew about 9 times as many people who stopped to chat with the LP, most of them wearing "I WANT ANN COULTER" buttons. Even the sweatier, more "seasoned" men. Especially them. They probably hadn't seen so many cameras since their run-ins with Chris Hansen.

So, the key thing about the Coulter speech is that it was barely funny: she thought calling somebody "like David Brock, but with less name recognition" was a killer line. Most of the applause she got was of the "oh-hell-I'm-in-a-room-with-a-TV-star-let-me-put-down-my-cell-phone-camera" variety, and much was stupud. Barack Obama's presidential run was "his biggest achievement since he was born half-black." John Edwards' name was a punchline–especially odd, since I heard something about him leaving the presidential race a week ago. Almost everything else in the speech was an attack on John McCain, and most of the barbs were about mean things he said. He praised Hillary Clinton this one time! He's friends with Lindsay Graham! He doubted the veracity of the Swift Boat Veterans! He voted against the Bush tax cuts, and can't be forgiven for saying he supports them now, even though Mitt Romney should be vice president! (She suggested Romney run as a third party candidate if he's not on the GOP ticket.)

It's an old story now, but the biggest applause lines–not just awkward giggles, but applause–were about torture. Coulter eulogized Rudy Giuliani's campaign, saying that at least he wanted to "torture the terrorists!" Huge applause. McCain was a pansy because he wasn't willing to "drip water down a terrorist's nose."

One of the conservative journalists who skipped the speech told me he treats Coulter the way ESPN treats the fans running onto the field: "Just cut away from her." A good policy, but it would obscure some nasty truths about the young Right.

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  1. The LP was scurrying to deal with all the interest in some alternative party, any alternative party, in wake of the McCain coup.

    God knows I’m no McCain fan, but this is the first time I’ve seen coming in 1st or 2nd in every primary called a “coup”.

  2. I believe they mean the primary meaning of the word coup:

    Function:
    noun
    Inflected Form(s):

    Etymology:
    French, blow, stroke – more at cope
    Date:
    1791
    1 : a brilliant, sudden, and usually highly successful stroke or act

    Given the McCain’s campaign was widely perceived to be fatally holed last summer, and the way in which he trounced his competitors on Super Tueday, coup is entirely appropriate.

  3. Comparing David’s coverage of the KOS convention and this one…i got say I am detecting a bit of shilling for the dems.

    But KOS said he was a libertarian so it must all be OK…right?

    God knows I’m no McCain fan, but this is the first time I’ve seen coming in 1st or 2nd in every primary called a “coup”.

    Ya…the burn of being dead wrong about the death of McCain’s presidential campaign stays with ya I guess.

  4. i got say I am detecting a bit of shilling for the dems.

    Drink!

  5. The most insightful remark I have heard yet about Trannie Annie’s vow to vote for Hillary:

    “Maybe she’s trying to immanentize the eschaton.”

  6. I do seem to remember some talk last year about McCain and his “gay sweaters” when everyone was sure he was out of the race. Now he seems to have some sort of mechanical apparatus under his suit that makes him look like this.

  7. i got say I am detecting a bit of shilling for the dems.

    Drink!

    You got the wrong rules…

    You drink when anyone tries to say what libertarianism is, tries to say what it isn’t, criticizes it or praises it.

    so you would drink on this quote:

    But KOS said he was a libertarian so it must all be OK…right?

  8. A terrible Henny Youngman routine in a sound-sucking underground room drew about 9 times as many people who stopped to chat with the LP, most of them wearing “I WANT ANN COULTER” buttons. Even the sweatier, more “seasoned” men. Especially them. They probably hadn’t seen so many cameras since their run-ins with Chris Hansen.

    Uh … what? Can anyone explain?

  9. and much was stupud.

    The 2nd law of the internet strikes again.

  10. Even the sweatier, more “seasoned” men.

    “Seasoned! That’s a horrible thing to say to a man.”

    If you dare, name the episode.

  11. You should never insult somebody’s appearance. It’s small, petty, rude, and adds nothing to understanding.

    But tell me, is Ann Coulter anorexic?

    Discussion of the same is here. Googling can be so fun.

  12. Floundering – He’s saying Coulter fans are likely sexual predators of underage girls, or some such.

  13. Is it just me, or is Dave Weigel getting funnier and funnier all the time?

  14. J sub D,

    No, its just that blood has less calories than most food groups and she can’t keep her supply up when conservative pundits stop associating with her.

  15. So, the key thing about the Coulter speech is that it was barely funny:

    Hold it. Coulter was ever funny? Did I miss the memo that she was at one point?

    When something is funny there is usually something of truth in the joke. Coulter’s “humour” (I guess that is what you call it) is usually not based on any truth but on some deranged view of the world so I have a hard time getting even a smirk out of any of her comments (usually I just read a book.)

  16. Highnumber:
    Is it me or are you a sock puppet

  17. A terrible Henny Youngman routine

    Hey now, I borrow a good 72% of my material from Mr. Youngman…

  18. Ann Coulter was a friend of mine; you’re no Ann Coulter.

  19. Highnumber:
    Is it me or are you a sock puppet

    I thought he was URKOBOLt…so i guess he is the hand in the sock puppet.

    Wow that would be a cool band name. “Hand in the Sock Puppet”

    ….

    ok no it wouldn’t

  20. Yoshi,

    While not politically correct to say so, yes, Ann Coulter has, at times, been funny. She has all of her other baggage, but she can be very witty and funny in her writings. Especially the really old stuff where she just ranked on Clinton and the democrats.

    Was it politic? Was it “reasonable”? Did her commentary advance the debate in measured terms? No, probably not.

    One of my favorite Ann Coulter articles was this one.

    The reason New York was so smooth and efficient wasn’t that poor inexperienced New Yorkers are smarter than the intelligentsia in Washington — though they are. It wasn’t even that the average New Yorker’s time, in contradistinction to the average Washingtonian’s, was worth more than $2.19 per hour. It was that Leona Helmsley is the typical New Yorker.

    Nothing improves efficiency like the last 17 customers screeching at shop owners for a want of alacrity. You never had to be the harridan in New York, because everyone else was. (By contrast, I constantly wondered how it could possibly be that in Washington I was the first customer who had to explain, for example, that when I dropped off my watch or computer for repair, I was eventually going to want it back.)

  21. publius cato:

    highnumber is a writer for a widely-read libertarian culture site.

    who are you?

  22. You got the wrong rules…You drink when anyone tries to say what libertarianism is, tries to say what it isn’t, criticizes it or praises it.

    No, you’re also supposed to drink whenever anyone accuses Weigel of being a shill. If this is done with his name spelled “Weigal,” you have to drink twice.

  23. You know, for a bunch of libertarians, y’all have a lot of rules.

  24. Meanwhile, recent pub stunts by the LP doesn’t seem to have been noticed hereabouts.

    So, did Weigel ask anyone a question, or was he just there to offer “analysis”?

  25. You got the wrong rules…You drink when anyone tries to say what libertarianism is, tries to say what it isn’t, criticizes it or praises it.

    No, you’re also supposed to drink whenever anyone accuses Weigel of being a shill. If this is done with his name spelled “Weigal,” you have to drink twice.

    I just try to drink…you know, whenever.

  26. You know, for a bunch of libertarians, y’all have a lot of rules.

    Feh, we try but no one follows them. We’ve decriminalized most of them, anyway.

  27. Joshua said:

    You drink when anyone tries to say what libertarianism is, tries to say what it isn’t, criticizes it or praises it.

    Kolohe:

    You know, for a bunch of libertarians, y’all have a lot of rules.

    Drink !

  28. At the top of the H&R page, this ad –

    Ann Coulter’s Column Free
    Get Ann Coulter’s weekly column delivered to you Free via email.
    http://www.HumanEvents.com

    Coincidence? Embedded marketing? An evil albino plot? The world wonders.

  29. From what I heard of Ann Coulter’s appearance this afternoon, she made as strong a case as can be made
    for John McCain.

  30. If anybody posts “For a magazine called Reason you sure have an unreasonable amount of shilling from Weigal, which is to be expected because libertarians only care about [whatever Weigel’s currently shilling for],” you drink until you get alcohol poisoning and die.

  31. No, you’re also supposed to drink whenever anyone accuses Weigel of being a shill. If this is done with his name spelled “Weigal,” you have to drink twice.

    What?? Finding new and exciting ways to call David a shill is a game unto itself…having a drinking game wrapped around it just seems redundant.

    If you really have to drink nothing prevents you from drinking while calling David a shill.

    publius cato:

    highnumber is a writer for a widely-read libertarian culture site.

    who are you?

    Don’t feel bad publius…Mr. Steven Crane is another of Highnumbers sock puppets.

  32. If you really have to drink nothing prevents you from drinking while calling David a shill.

    Yes there is. “Shill” is hard to pronounce when you’re drunk.

  33. Don’t feel bad publius…Mr. Steven Crane is another of Highnumbers sock puppets.

    Don’t feel bad joshua, but publius cato is another of highnumbers sock puppets.

  34. So, did Weigel ask anyone a question, or was he just there to offer “analysis”?

    I understand that he asked McCain what effect global warming would have on the temperature of Boston Market cornbread.

  35. Yes there is. “Shill” is hard to pronounce when you’re drunk.

    When I’m drunk, “Shill” is abnout the only word I can pronounce. In fact, just about everything beginning with S and ending in L sounds like “Shill”.

  36. Years ago Coulter was barely funny. Over time her comments became more ignorant and mean-spirited, and she could incite some just anger. Now she is simply sad and irrelevant.

  37. “One of my favorite Ann Coulter articles was this one.”

    That wasn’t funny, either.

  38. I knew the Coulter thing was officially over a few days ago when I opened my latest issue of Reason to a review of a new Joe McCarthy revisionist book, and there was not a single mention of, ah, you-know-who…

  39. That wasn’t funny, either.

    You one of those shop clerks in dc, jeff?

  40. oh no. i’m quite real.

    i also predate both highnumber and yourself here.

  41. Comparing David’s coverage of the KOS convention and this one…i got say I am detecting a bit of shilling for the dems.

    Maybe, but whenever you get a group of conservatives together, they can actually make liberals seem sane and reasonable.

  42. Coulter was positioning herself as the right’s answer to James Carville on the cable nets. Basically willing to say any nasty, unfortunate thing to get a reaction. That whole subgenre of cable news seems to have gone away, to be replaced with…a whole bunch of dull stuff I don’t watch.

    As for CPAC, I used to be a movement conservative, and I recall this type of event as revolving around nonprofit fundraising more than anything else. Most of the folks in the movement already know each other and don’t really need to do this sort of thing to keep up with what’s going on.

  43. If anybody posts “For a magazine called Reason you sure have an unreasonable amount of shilling from Weigal, which is to be expected because libertarians only care about [whatever Weigel’s currently shilling for],” you drink until you get alcohol poisoning and die.

    Close enough! Hit the bar, kids!

  44. Don’t feel bad publius…Mr. Steven Crane is another of Highnumbers sock puppets.

    Don’t feel bad joshua, but publius cato is another of highnumbers sock puppets.

    Don’t feel bad Neu Mejican, you too are another one of Highnumber’s sock puppets.

  45. You drink when anyone tries to say what libertarianism is, tries to say what it isn’t, criticizes it or praises it.

    You also drink whenever anyone says “rubric,” “lifelong learner” or “interdisciplinary.”

    thoreau should find this very funny

    I also drink whenever anyone mentions a prime power.

    289 – DRINK!

  46. Floundering – He’s saying Coulter fans are likely sexual predators of underage girls, or some such.

    He wasn’t saying it, he was implying it.

    I’ll say it: Ann Coulter fans are likely sexual predators of underage girls, or some such.

  47. “You one of those shop clerks in dc, jeff?”

    Worse. Baltimore.

  48. “stupud”?

    GMAFB.

  49. The RLC had a booth at CPAC with the Nolan Chart test a couple of years ago. Most test takers there got in the libertarian-right quadrant, but the Teen Republicans (age 17-18) almost all scored in the totalitarian quadrant (!)

    And then there was the crazy guy from Maryland who claimed to have dated Mary Jo Kopechne. I was told he was a regular at CPAC.

  50. “Coulter was ever funny?”

    Yeah, for a little while when she was making her money bashing pinkos like Michael Moore. These days, not so much.

    -jcr

  51. “The RLC had a booth at CPAC with the Nolan Chart test a couple of years ago. Most test takers there got in the libertarian-right quadrant, but the Teen Republicans (age 17-18) almost all scored in the totalitarian quadrant (!)”

    It’s the testosterone combined with the “I know everything” feeling of being 18. Give them a few years.

    OMG I sound old.

  52. I have no joke for this, except that it must be related to Ann Coulter somehow.

  53. McCain was a pansy because he wasn’t willing to “drip water down a terrorist’s nose.”

    Haha, that’s funny Ann! Torture has not gone over well with moderate Muslims in the Middle East that we are trying to win the support of. Ann Coulter has really got the recipe to deep six all diplomatic effors.

  54. Man Coulter is one stupid, silly bitch.

  55. I think it is the rise of HD televisions that is finally shuffling Coulter off of the national stage. Under the merciless gaze of 1080i you realize that someone figured out how to make the corpse of a hooker give rambling interviews.

    And then it hits you: “Why do I give a rat’s ass about what the corpse of a hooker has to say?”

  56. “The young right…”

    Is the author under the impression that this sad old greying dog represents “the young right?”

  57. One of the conservative journalists who skipped the speech told me he treats Coulter the way ESPN treats the fans running onto the field: “Just cut away from her.”

    “… and start talking about notre dame football, UNC basketball, Kobe…..”

    Sugar: yah. you don’t care. you just start BANG BANG BANG.

  58. You also drink whenever anyone says “rubric,” “lifelong learner” or “interdisciplinary.”

    thoreau should find this very funny

    Actually, I’ve made my peace with “Interdisciplinary.” “Lifelong learner” is used here, and it is annoying, but it hasn’t reached the point where I’m ready to shoot whoever says it. “Rubric” is also used sparingly and in non-annoying ways. I only see it as a shorthand for “list of grading criteria”, and I never hear it from administrators.

    The big phrases here are “outcomes” and “assessment.” Oh, and “learning centered.”

    If I took a drink every time I heard the word “assessment” I’d die of alcohol poisoning 5 minutes into a meeting.

    FWIW, death by ethanol would be better than sitting through the rest of the meeting.

    At the risk of being a hypocrite, I admit to using the word “assessment” last week. In my defense, I made a sarcastic comment about “a stack of dead trees with the phrase ‘outcomes assessment’ stamped on top.”

  59. For what is is worth, I think skinny, crazy bitches are hot.

  60. Coulter eulogized Rudy Giuliani’s campaign, saying that at least he wanted to “torture the terrorists!”

    Shame on you for that, Ann Coulter! And also, Giuliani, even more than McCain, supports a foreign policy that will engender anti U.S. terrorists.

    Limited government and capitalism and civil liberties are causes worth fighting for. This “War on Terror” is a cruel and counterproductive joke.

    And now you wanna support Hillary if McCain gets the nomination cuz you think that things will really get screwed up with Hillary (They will) and then the voters will turn on her in the 2012 elections. If there was ever a cure worse than the disease, that’s it. I won’t vote for McCain either, but your previous idea to write in Ron Paul, that you expressed on the Jon Caldera radio show here in Denver, is far far better than supporting the Clinton authoritarian left.

  61. Oh, Viking Moose. You look so good in those antlers.

    Why don’t you come give me lots of kiss?

  62. How about a rule involving me and sock puppets?

    I mean a drinking rule. I don’t need any rules getting between me and my sock puppets.

    And, anyway, Pube Cat, Weigel is getting snarkier and snarkier. Cracks me up, he does.

  63. FFFFfffffffffttttttttt…cough cough cough cough cough!!!

    What if…what if we’re all just highnumber’s sock puppets, and we just think we’re real?

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