For the Love of Allah

Here's one way to disguise your contraband sex flicks:

Algerian police have uncovered a criminal group that made pornographic DVDs and put well-known Islamic preachers on the covers to disguise the films, the Al Shuruk al Yawmi daily reported on Monday.

Police said tens of thousands of copies of the erotic films were sold in the capital, Algiers, and that many customers bought the discs in good faith, innocently unaware of their contents.

"Many" customers, eh?

Elsewhere in Reason: Porn as psychological warfare.

Comments

[Abdul]

Honestly, I thought "Sorority Stories 9" was about Mohammed's wives!

[John]

I forget where I read it but Saudi Arabian men consume huge amounts of pornography. More than Western men. If you have a society that separates men and women so strictly, people are going to try to fulfill their libido some way. What is really disturbing is to wonder what kind of screwed up view of women and sex a man growing up in that society must have. What does it do to your psyche to never have any meaningful relationships or friendships with women outside your immediate family growing up and have your only exposure to romantic love and sex be through pornography? It is a really disturbing thought.

[R C Dean]

What does it do to your psyche to never have any meaningful relationships or friendships with women outside your immediate family growing up and have your only exposure to romantic love and sex be through pornography?

I suspect by asking this question on a libertarian board you have, indeed, come to the source for answers.

[Episiarch]

Airtight Grannies. That is all.

[John]

RC wins the the thread.

[de stijl]

Men don't make passes at women with moustaches.

[SugarFree]

de stijl,

I don't know. I have an Iranian girl who works for me and she is Allah Akbar hot.

[John]

Arab and Persian women are gorgous. One of the great crimes of Islam in the last 100 years is their denial of the world to access to these women.

[joe]

I'll see your Airtight Grannies and raise you Grannytranny dot com.

[kinnath]

What does it do to your psyche to never have any meaningful relationships or friendships with women outside your immediate family growing up and have your only exposure to romantic love and sex be through pornography?

You become an engineer.

[Warty]

I'll see your Airtight Grannies and raise you Grannytranny dot com.

Oh, fuck you. Fuck you to death.

Persian mind-bleach (SFW). You can also find videos of her doing awful awful things as a delicious barely-legal teenager...

[SugarFree]

joe,

I'll see you and raise with the fact we have a 50-ish on-the-weekends tranny at work who, when dressed like a man, is the spitting image of John Denver.

And we all thought he was a serial killer long before we found out about the crossdressing.

Basically, we work with Buffalo Bill.

"PUT THE LOTION IN THE FUCKING BASKET!"

(This post is in no way an endorsement of transphobia. He, as an individual, is just really creepy.)

[joe]

"They're plaing 'Lambs.'"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

[joe]

SugarFree,

I'll go all in with my office-mate's Martina Navartilova Screensaver, and call.

[Warty]

SugarFree:

In college, I had electronics lab taught by an individual named Jackie. Jackie had long hair and a soft voice, so I thought he was just an effeminate man. Until the day he came in wearing a pretty purple skirt and carrying a purse. Jarring, that.

[robc]

joe,

Poker pedanticism here. If you go all in, its your opponents responsibility to call (or fold). You cant both go all in and call.

[kinnath]

My wife used to manage a store for large-sized women's clothing.

They had one night a week set aside to allow men to come in to try on clothing.

[Aresen]

Algerian police have uncovered a criminal group that made pornographic DVDs and put well-known Islamic preachers on the covers

And on the DVDs were pictures of the same well-known Islamic preachers under the covers.

[robc]

Poker pedanticism #2:

SugarFree made an illegal string raise. Once he "saw" joe's bet, he cant raise anymore.

[SugarFree]

joe,

Yikes. But Martina never tucked in front of a mirror and pronounced "I'd fuck me." Or so I imagine.

Fine, I'll call with one more. (robc, leave our conversational metaphor alone... is this what happens to people when they live in Louisville too long?)

We have a post-op transwoman in another building. Very nice and universally liked. My wife's new employee was sent to do some computer work in the department. When he came back to the office, he was raving about how well he hit it off with this tall blond and how he was trying to think of a way to give her his number. When the situation was gently pointed out to him, he exasperatedly replied:

"Why does this keep happening to me?"

[jimmydageek]

robc | January 25, 2008, 10:35am | #

joe,

Poker pedanticism here. If you go all in, its your opponents responsibility to call (or fold). You cant both go all in and call.

Um, yeah you can - if they put you all in and you call you "both go all in and call". I know that wasn't the case with joe's all-in, but since you're being pedantic I figured I would too 🙂

[robc]

is this what happens to people when they live in Louisville too long?

Yes. Everyone here knows all the rules of poker. It comes from drinking Ohio river water (although, considering the source, which I would rather not, we have amazingly good tap water).

[Episiarch]

Well, joe and SugarFree: at my current workplace we had a guy who was a proclaimed bisexual (he was married) and was frequently caught blowing straight warehouse workers in the parking lot.

Beat that, chumps.

[robc]

jimmydageek,

Yeah, I thought of that after I posted. I appreciate the layered pedanticism. Oddly worded for that case though.

[SugarFree]

robc,

I too grew up along the Mighty Ohio. Our tap water was fair to middling and only imparted the ability to get nosebleeds easily.

[SugarFree]

Episiarch,

And they didn't fire you for that? Amazing.

[SugarFree]

Sorry. Couldn't help it.

[Episiarch]

And they didn't fire you for that? Amazing.

I'm a top, not a bottom.

[Ralph Wiggum]

SugarFree,

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

[SugarFree]

I bent my Wookie.

[Episiarch]

It's unpossible!

[SugarFree]

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

[robc]

And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.

[joe]

I'm a top, not a bottom.?

Well, you did say he "was frequently caught."

[Episiarch]

If I get a hummer from a bi guy, does that make me a fag? I have to stop doing so much coke.

[SugarFree]

Yes and yes.

[John]

Episiarch,

Man you sure know how to highjack a thread. I really don't know what to say to the story about the employee. Wow.

[SugarFree]

Episiarch,

Beat that, chumps.

A bisexual guy performing oral sex on guys who haven't come out of the closet yet VS serial killer John Denver cross-dresser.

Sorry, but you got pwn'd.

[JW]

Warty--Just a note to let you know how eternally grateful I am to you now. I really have no idea how I will ever repay such kindness.

And yes, the Persians have some of the hottest women on the planet. No contest.

FWIW, I work with nothing but gay men and young, 20-something women. There are a grand total of 3 single, straight guys here. It's better odds than San Fran for hetero dudes.

Yeah, NOW I get to work here, wife and kids later.

[sv]

JW: so, where do you work? my resume shows i'm very well-rounded..

[sv]

heh.. for a second i thought 'JW' might stand for 'Jesse Walker' .... 'Reason is run by mostly gay dudes? i did not know that..'

[Episiarch]

SugarFree: a bisexual swinger performing oral sex on probably straight, low-skill but super horny freezer workers (-20 F, baby) in the parking lot in the middle of the day and having the boss stumble across it accidentally--multiple times. And who invited people in the office to his swinger orgies.

Your guy didn't do anything except dress like Ed Wood on a bender.

[mediageek]

JW-

Where can I send a resume?

[JW]

SugarFree--I work with about half a dozen drag queens. I also have found pictures in their email of employees blowing other guys. I also know which of the girls are bisexual, who don't know that I know. How do I know? A friend of mine, who is lesbian and has gotten it on with them, tells me.

I win.

[brotherben]

Episiarch,
Is your employer hiring???

???

[brotherben]

ahhh, shit

did I say that aloud?

[Episiarch]

ben, I'm afraid that gentleman no longer works here. Not because he was fired--he was a good employee so the boss just ignored his "antics". You'll have to get your knob polished in a back alley like usual. Sorry. Me love you long time.

[kinnath]

A bisexual guy performing oral sex on guys who haven't come out of the closet yet VS serial killer John Denver cross-dresser.

I my youth, I worked with the classic quiet guy that went on to rape and murder two women, one of the women was one of his parents best friends.

So I can truthfully say I have worked with a guy who is now serving life without possibility of parole.

[Reinmoose]

JW -
Do you work in theater? Oh no wait, you said that there were some straight guys? Nevermind.

[brotherben]

;-(

thanks anyway

[SugarFree]

JW,

It was a disturbing workplace stories fight, not a hot workplace stories fight. But you win anyway.

[Abdul]

I don't know if this beats the trannies and warehouse hustlers, but I worked in a call center once (I needed the money!) with a fat woman--maybe 225 lbs. One day I come to work to find out she and five guys have been fired. Why? She was "pulling a train" in the bathroom.

[SugarFree]

Big girls need love too.

[Episiarch]

But they gotta pay.

[JW]

SugarFree--Trust me, once you see your co-workers, full on in character, in a drag race, you will be somewhat disturbed.

Not to say it ain't good, clean fun, but definitely mild weirding out material, no matter how open minded a hetero you are.

Funny story about the self-portraits is that I was requested to go through this guy's email and once I found some of the pics I showed my boss (who was a brassy, Sicilian New Yawk lawyer) and she then exclaimed as loud as she could in the middle of the office, "Oh my GOD! Is that Timmy giving a BLOWJOB!?"

[SugarFree]

Nice.

[prolefeed]

Big girls need love too.
Episiarch | January 25, 2008, 12:59pm | #

But they gotta pay.

You obviously have never seen the working girls in the seamier parts of Everett, WA.

[SugarFree]

So... they don't need love or they shouldn't pay for it?

[prolefeed]

Sugar Free -- They're getting paid for it, not paying someone to do them. Dunno if they need love -- didn't actually chat with them. I saw them through the window of my brother's pickup after he slowed down and pointed them out, during a ride laced with dry, witty commentary on the lovely culture and aesthetic beauty of Everett.

[Episiarch]

I was merely quoting Quagmire on Family Guy. Get your pop culture references straight, people! Don't make me bust out the ATHF.

[Jamie Kelly]

There are seamy parts of Everett, Wash.?
What, Microsoft employees in drag?

[prolefeed]

There are seamy parts of Everett, Wash.?
What, Microsoft employees in drag?

It would be more precise to say there are a few parts of Everett that aren't seamy. Lots of light industrial stuff for Boeing, grimy little machine shops and warehouses and whatnot.

I would imagine the better-paid Microsoft folks tend to live in more upscale places than Everett, and closer to the corporate headquarters to boot, but I'm no expert on that.

[NoStar]

Six more posts and some lucky commenter will have 69 For the Love Of Allah