Campaigns/Elections

The Unknown Republican Trumps All!

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Zogby International, the polling outfit that sounds like a front group for a James Bond supervillain bent on global domination and clearly has too much time on its hands, has conducted a "blind bio" poll of candidates for the Republican presidential nod. In such a survey, respondents are not given the names of candidates, only a selection of biographical highlights.

The hoo-larious findings?

The poll shows that renowned cardiologist Ward Casscells, a longtime conservative now serving as the assistant secretary of defense for health affairs, is preferred by about as many Republican voters nationwide as Republican frontrunners Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson.

When likely voting respondents were given brief biographical descriptions of the top GOP candidates, along with the biography of Casscells, Giulani and Thompson each won 19% support, while Casscells won 18%. Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, won 13% support, while Arizona Sen. John McCain won 11% and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney won 10%.

More here. No word yet on whether or when Zogby International will interrupt its diabolical scheme to create a world-ending thermonuclear war to take the same kind of poll for the Democratic candidates, though I suspect that exercise would yield analogous results. 

NEXT: 50 Years of Shrugging

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  1. [Insert obvious comment about lack of inclusion of Candidate G]

  2. Zogby International? James Bondian? Nah, sounds more like a Broadway showgirl agency.

  3. There’s something great about a young woman in a bikini bottom wearing over her fake breasts a t-shirt with an anti-abortion message.

    Is there any job an aspiring model won’t take?

  4. Well, considering how carefully Zogby worded those bios, he could probably be able to make George W. sound good.

  5. DAN T.,

    WHAT MESSAGE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YES [PEERING], I CAN SEE THE GIRL.

    HMM, FAKE BREASTS? DID YOU DATE HER?

  6. I think this as one of those reoccurring stories. I’ve seen polls or news stories like this for decades. Always, the stories trumpet the supposedly surprising result that many people like an unknown outsider better than they like real candidates. Sometimes, they use completely fictional candidates.

    People like the idea of voting for political outsiders that aren’t lawyers or real estate developers. Doctors, generals, engineers etc often poll very well just on the basis of their non-political occupation.

    This poll really shows that Republican voters have yet to settle on any particular candidate. No single candidate out of 6 total polled above 20% or below 10%. Given that broad a spread, it is likely that 5% would have chosen a stump in the forest given the chance. Heck, even not carefully randomizing the order in which the bios were given could give flawed result.

  7. Now there’s a different photo, the scantily clad model is wearing a shirt that reads “CONSERVATIVE” while striking her come-hither pose.

    I’m guessing this was not meant to be ironic.

  8. Conservatives don’t like attractive women? Attractive women can’t be conservative? Since neither of those can be remotely answered “yes”, what irony could there be?

  9. Conservatives don’t like attractive women? Attractive women can’t be conservative? Since neither of those can be remotely answered “yes”, what irony could there be?

    Well, I guess going by today’s standards a skimpy bikini bottom and tight t-shirt is a fairly conservative outfit.

    So I take that back. I forget sometimes that conservative means “what used to be liberal”.

  10. Well, Dan, someone is looking at all that porn. It can’t just be Libertarians and Democrats, now can it? Hypocrisy and the ability to rationalize are one thing people of all political persuasions have in common.

  11. There’s something great about a young woman in a bikini bottom wearing over her fake breasts a t-shirt with an anti-abortion message.

    Did you also see the ad for “The Great American god-out” just above it?

    You won’t see those ads together anywhere but here.

  12. By the way I am more liberal then Dan T and I see Roe V Wade as a constitutional abomination…..

    Plus I think although abortion should be legal, I also think it might be a good idea, legally, to classify a fetus as a human before it is birthed. (Although well after conception) Even more important the date of when that fetus becomes a human being should be set though a democratic process and not by a handful of legal scholars in black robes.

  13. being against abortion and fake tits are mutually exclusive in Dan’s cookie cutter world i guess.

  14. Dan T,

    I suppose I could understand trolling some of Reason’s ideas, or the thread comments.

    But come on, man, leave T-Shirt girl alone.

  15. being against abortion and fake tits are mutually exclusive in Dan’s cookie cutter world i guess.

    It’s like Private Joker wearing both a peace symbol and “Born to Kill” on his helmet. A Jungian thing; something about the duality of man.

  16. TITS LIKE THAT–FAKE OR NOT–GAVE THE URKOBOLD THE THOUSAND-YARD STARE.

  17. I suspect ya’ll have all seen this?

    http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html

    CB
    (As it turns out, Ron Paul is my most compatible candidate… not surprisingly.)

  18. These are not really blind bios. If you are politically literate you can name all but Casscells in a second.

    Is the “Conservative” t-shirt message straight-forward or ironic. If it’s meant like the Animal House “College” t-shirt, then it’s fairly funny. If it means “I’m a conservative” then it’s hella lame.

    At least the “I survived Roe v. Wade” has some snap to it although I would’ve gone with “I survived Roe v. Wade and all I got was this stupid t-shirt” myself.

  19. “I FUCK ONLY CONSERVATIVE MEN” WOULD BE A MORE COMPELLING RECRUITING INDUCEMENT.

  20. Caption Contest!

    “Hey, how ’bout them Mets!”

  21. But come on, man, leave T-Shirt girl alone.

    Taktix?,

    The precedents were set with Reason Pillow Girl, and, before her, Carpet-Humping Guy. Adsnark is just one traditional part of the rich tapestry of snark that is H&R.

  22. I used to think Urkobold was an asshole. Now I realize he tain’t.

  23. de stijl is right. From the link: he presided over a dramatic drop in crime in his city, and is best known for his leadership in the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

    Anyone who’s been exposed to even five minutes of “debate” coverage has probably heard that straight from the horse’s mouth a few times.

    OT: Now here’s a fun picture of TerryMcAuliffe.

  24. “Even more important the date of when that fetus becomes a human being”

    My vote would be somewhere around 25 years.

  25. Is the “Conservative” t-shirt message straight-forward or ironic. If it’s meant like the Animal House “College” t-shirt, then it’s fairly funny. If it means “I’m a conservative” then it’s hella lame.

    At least the “I survived Roe v. Wade” has some snap to it although I would’ve gone with “I survived Roe v. Wade and all I got was this stupid t-shirt” myself.

    Maybe the Roe v. Wade t-shirt is actually pro-choice? She could be saying that because of Roe, she has survived all of her abortions while before that decision many women did not?

  26. The poll shows that renowned cardiologist Ward Casscells, a longtime conservative now serving as the assistant secretary of defense for health affairs, is preferred by about as many Republican voters nationwide as Republican frontrunners Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson.

    My respect for Republican primary voters just went up considerably.

    I would totally vote for Ward Cascells over Rudy, Thompson, or any of ’em.

  27. Ron Paul once again excluded from the establishment polls the establishment media uses to justify excluding Ron Paul from coverage.

    More of the same establishment bullshit.

  28. Warren,

    That would skew the results — he’d split the doctor vote.

  29. Jake Boone | October 5, 2007, 11:51am | #

    But come on, man, leave T-Shirt girl alone.

    Taktix?,

    The precedents were set with Reason Pillow Girl, and, before her, Carpet-Humping Guy. Adsnark is just one traditional part of the rich tapestry of snark that is H&R.

    I know, but I love her…

  30. sixstring–

    my son is about to turn 25. I’m thinking 30.

  31. assistant secretary of defense for health affairs

    Okay, now we know the punchline; what was the fucking joke?

  32. Now there’s a different photo, the scantily clad model is wearing a shirt that reads “CONSERVATIVE” while striking her come-hither pose.

    I’m guessing this was not meant to be ironic.

    Conservatives like to fc#x hotties too, Danno. A century ago conservatives would have found that outfit daring and a reason for public outrage (and private lust). Somewhat less hypocrisy now among conservatives, at least regarding hetero sex.

    Re: the actual article, is Nick Gillespie insinuating that the top-tier candidates in either party are even among the 1,000,000 most capable people in this country able to run the executive branch more or less in accordance to the constituion (as opposed to the 1,000,000 most capable to get elected and then run the executive branch in accordance to what is politically beneficial to them personally, which is an entirely different skill set)? Is he implying that the people who would do the best job are well-known politicians?

  33. thermonuclear war… analogous results

    I can’t make up my mind.

  34. A century ago conservatives would have found that outfit daring and a reason for public outrage (and private lust). Somewhat less hypocrisy now among conservatives, at least regarding hetero sex.

    Yeah, that’s totally the impression I got from those “Carrie Bradshaw Doesn’t Speak For Me” t-shirts that were so popular at the 2004 Republican National Convention.

    I thought, wow, these are some people who are really comfortable with sexuality.

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