"No Wonder They Call it the Holy Land"

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While the American military is dressing down soldiers for undressing in front of the camera, the Israeli government is combating its overseas "image problem" with a series of racy viral ads featuring civilians and IDF soldiers (female, of course) in bikinis. A photo spread of sexy IDF girls that ran in the British lad magazine Maxim was, apparently, also financed out of government coffers. Via Digg and Brietbart, the Murdoch-owned Sky News has this very important story:

"We have an image problem because most of what people know about us come from news channels," an Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman told Sky News. "Information that concentrates on current events are usually concentrating on the tension on the conflict and we are trying to show that there is much more than to Israel than just that."

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  1. “They’re beautiful and can strip a rifle.”

  2. THE HOLY TRACTS OF LAND.

  3. IDF.. Israeli girls.. repopulate the land.. can’t think straight..

  4. “Information that concentrates on current events are usually concentrating on the tension on the conflict and we are trying to show that there is much more than to Israel than just that.”

    That Israel has beach resorts?

  5. It’s about time somebody one upped Gaddafi, with his Fox Force Five.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/3664277.stm

  6. I am contractually obligated, in the context of heavily armed yet scantily clad women, to make a reference to our hoary old friend, the “Substantial penalties for early withdrawal” joke.

  7. With his accent, it kinda sounded like Israel is “full of beautiful women and bitches.”

  8. It would have been cooler if they had shown some Palestinian women for comparison…

  9. Oh, yeah.

    I’ll occupy her territory.

    I’ll forge her protocols.

    I’ll strip her gaza.

    I’ll uproot her settlement.

    I’ll man her checkpoint.

    …somebody stop me! I could be here all night.

  10. And to think that some people would rather blow these girls up than…………

    rimshot

  11. Moynihan wins the thread with that Holy Land remark…..Best Header, ahem, in six months.

    Holy Land, indeed.

    I’ve got to go back to work.

  12. I’ll block her resolution.

    I’ll bring down her city walls.

    I’ll dispute her border.

    …seriously, somebody stop me.

  13. Members of the Air Force aren’t soldiers.

  14. That’s actually pretty funny, joe. 😀

  15. TWC,

    Looking at those pics, I suddenly realized that Israel seems to be becoming the modern-day Sparta, as far as the military pervading more and more aspects of the rest of society…

  16. Taktix, I think Israel is like Switzerland, isn’t everyone part of the military? Except the Swiss don’t blow up as often or as many other things.

  17. So you can make an informed decision:

    http://www.maximonline.com/Israelidefenseforces/girls_of_maxim/66.aspx

    Wow.

    I mean, seriously, wow.

  18. I’ll raid her Entebbe.

    Aaarrrgggghhhhh!!!

  19. I knew I was in the wrong nation’s Army for the past 27 years!

    BTW, Israel is the only nation in the world that did not rip-off the USA using the phrase “don’t let this happen to you”.

  20. Finally, a topic where everybody can agree with joe.

  21. Come spend the night inside my wailing walls.

  22. I’ll tunnel beneath her sacred dome.

  23. She can put down my intifada anytime.

  24. I just waiting until someone gets the balls to make a Holocaust joke…

  25. I’d rock her Casbah

  26. A side note, I think we’ve discovered the reason they disabled comments on this video on YouTube…

  27. I’d disable her comments…

  28. I’ll tighten up my formation on the way to strike her reactor.

  29. Holocaust joke…

    I’d like to put a bun in her oven.

    Not much of one, but it’s the best I can do.

  30. This just reminds me of that scene from Portnoy’s Complaint where the main character tries to molest an Israeli girl and she beats him up.

  31. This just reminds me of that scene from Portnoy’s Complaint where the main character tries to molest an Israeli girl and she beats him up.

    LOL, was he masturbating on a bus?

  32. “We want more people to come to Israel”

    Except the Palestinians…

  33. Usama bin Laden has just issued the following communique:

    “In the latest Jewish atrocity, Israeli Jewish pornographers are disseminating graphic images of half-naked female soldier-prostitutes of the Zionist entity which is occupying sacred Palestinian . . .”

    [Voice in the background: “Man, check out the entities on *that* one!”]

    “Silence, Achmed!

    “As I was, saying: We will not cease from our jihad until we have conquered the Jews, despoiled their wealth, driven them into the sea . . .”

    [Voice in background: “Except for the hot ones – they can stay on the beach and keep playing volleyball!”]

    “Shut up, Abdul.

    “On the Last Day, the rocks will cry out, ‘O Muslim, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him!'”

    [Voice in the background: “You said ‘him,’ didn’t you, Usama? Not ‘her’? ‘Cause I couldn’t deal with killing that chick on page 16.”]

    “Be quiet, Abu Zaid, I am making an important propaganda film.

    “All the Jews are sons of pigs and monkeys . . .”

    [Voice in the background: “I had no idea pigs and monkeys looked that attractive . . .”]

    “When we conquer the Jews, we shall force them to either convert to Islam or pay *jizya* . . .”

    [Voice in the background: “Oops, looks like I spilled my *jizya* all over the cave floor.”]

    “All right, that’s it, I can’t propagandize under these conditions!”

    [Usama signs off]

  34. At least now we know that Jews did Maxim.

    Never forget.

  35. Usama has issued an additional communique:

    “I will repeat the same words that a great American general Douglas MacArthur said during World War Two – we will fight until every last JAP soldier has been defeated.”

  36. joe, it’s guys like you who are responsible for the israeli use of barrier methods. ta-ching!

  37. I’ll gas her chamber.

  38. talk about a thread stopper…

    yeah right,
    You need to seek hurt.

  39. Hey, joe. Where you going with that gun in your hand?

    (Remember the difference between your weapon and your gun.)

  40. lol

    This reminds me of my first and last Ayn Rand club meeting.

    Bunch of guys with wacked out social skills who made me cringe whenever they talked, yet intellectually brilliant and after my own heart when discussing most issues, none of whom could pick up a girl to save his life.

    I wish you all orgasmic bliss with hot hot middle eastern girls to your hearts content.

  41. Syloson: How charming!

  42. Surprised I didn’t see this one:

    I didn’t think I’d like eating kosher…

  43. Bazil,

    Your highly developed social skills should be telling you that the folks posting here are intending to be tongue-in-cheek.

  44. Great, now I’m doing it too.

  45. Someone call Nina Totenberg, a country which has an “all serious, all the time” image thinks that it’s better to be bogged down in mindless sex and women in bikini’s. Things are looking up in Israel.

  46. From the West of the Sinai — now isn’t she really pretty? 🙂

  47. You’d almost think that AIPAC and ADL would have better luck pushing us into supporting Israel with carrots like this kind of stuff, instead of the stick of playing on Holocaust guilt. But they’re too smart to get into a tits race with the Muslim world. In my experience, at least, Iranian “carrots” are delicious.

  48. Sorry, but I don’t find anything sexy about the malnourished.

  49. I’d like to launch a cruise missile through her Bekaa Valley

    (joe thought of all the good ones already)

  50. ….tongue-in-cheek.

    Well, something like that anyway.

  51. I’d spread my cream cheese on her bagel.

  52. Hey, joe. Where you going with that gun in your hand?

    LOL

    {Wipes splattered wine off the monitor.}

  53. Portnoy’s Complaint where the main character tries to molest an Israeli girl and she beats him up.

    …the main character being a penis…

  54. Sorry, but I don’t find anything sexy about the malnourished.

    Warren, I’m pretty sure you’re a child of the sixties when all chicks were malnourished. Anyway, can I have all your share of the scrawny chicks?

    Stevo: GOT DAM YOU! Not a visual I want.

  55. There has to be a ‘Golan heights’ joke somewhere…

  56. I think at this point, any sentence of the form “I’d X her Y” is going to be interpreted as meaning the same thing.

    That said, I’d U her V.

  57. I’d part her Red Sea…

  58. OK all you adolescents need to calm down… You brought it onto yourselves… here’s another add from the west side of the Sinai (no wonder the lack of Arab popularity in the West):

    This will make you laugh out loud, but loose any sexual appetite for days to come, check this one out. That’ll teach y’all. The coolest G_________ in Egyptian ads.

  59. “Warren, I’m pretty sure you’re a child of the sixties when all chicks were malnourished.”

    they were “skinny-fat”. that’s what we in the personal training field (or those of us who used to be) refer to women and men who have generally low bodyfat, and a complete lack of muscle development and general fitness, such that they are “skinny fat”

    iow, they look decent on paper, but they look yucky in a bathing suit.

    also referred to as “70’s butt”

    you see this a lot in vegans, especially.

  60. You’d almost think that AIPAC and ADL would have better luck pushing us into supporting Israel with carrots like this kind of stuff…

    You must be joking! And piss off their fundie buddies in the States? The reaction is bad enough even in Israel.

    All I can say is if this is the best Israel can come up with to improve its image, Israel is doomed.

    That said…

    But they’re too smart to get into a tits race with the Muslim world. In my experience, at least, Iranian “carrots” are delicious.

    You know, many of those Israeli cuties are descended from Persian Jews, so many of those carrots (that’s a new name for ’em) are Iranian. A lot of the girls (the brunettes, anyway) must have Sephardi blood, descended from the Middle East’s former Jewish populations.

    This, of course, is a Zionist plot to rob the Muslim world of all its cute girls. 😉

    Israel, whatever else it is, is a land of immigrants, its Jewish population descended from the Jews of all nations. Immigration nutters take note–a genetically diverse population guarantees you beautiful women. That would be California, and that would be Israel.

  61. Immigration nutters take note–a genetically diverse population guarantees you beautiful women.

    Tres tiros de SexoEnLaPlaya hacen la misma cosa. Y eso requiere mucho menos c?rceles y CuidadoM?dico.

  62. An Ottawa Reader:

    This, of course, is a Zionist plot to rob the Muslim world of all its cute girls. 😉

    They are still left with at least two — see my two most recent posts above. Well — one anyways.

  63. As long as we’re confusing New York Jews for Israelis, I should query: why does it smell like smoked salmon on this thread?

  64. Oh, I should have said:

    “Hear, O Israel, The lord our god, the lord is tits.”

  65. I wrote:

    This, of course, is a Zionist plot to rob the Muslim world of all its cute girls. 😉

    iih replied:

    They are still left with at least two…well, one anyways.

    Oh, Egyptian Mickey D Girl was cute, no denying that. Who said the Zionists had to get their way all the time? 😉

    BTW:

    Tres tiros de SexoEnLaPlaya hacen la misma cosa. Y eso requiere mucho menos c?rceles y CuidadoM?dico.

    No hablo espanol. If that’s you, LoneWacko, I wouldn’t have made that argument for open borders in anything like a serious conversation–and this isn’t one. Lighten up.

  66. Who said the Zionists had to get their way all the time? 😉

    Oh no not me 😉

    What did you think of the second clip? (in case you were wondering, the mother was lecturing her son about always being on his cell phone with his friends, at the time when the phone rang and… well you know the rest).

    How is Ottawa? I skated on the Rideau last winter. I love that city.

  67. TV and movies always portray jews as easy and promiscuous….books as well come to think of it.

  68. So does my dad, come to think of it.

  69. I don’t know, all the movies I ever saw portrayed Jews as whiny, neutotic and self-absorbed. That and a having a tremendous sense of self-entitlement.

  70. neurotic too.

    I don’t know what “neutotic” is.

  71. Get busy, Boychik!

  72. “TV and movies always portray jews as easy and promiscuous….books as well come to think of it.

    Well, except for Dr. Laura, the super Jew.

  73. “That would be California, and that would be Israel.

    I live in California, you’re no Californian.

  74. I’d dangle my motzo balls on her yamaka.

    yes, i know nothing of spelling.

  75. Mad max,

    That is a pretty good skit. I would like to see it done by Mel Brooks.

  76. I’d dangle my motzo balls on her yamaka.

    Wayne, a “yarmulke” is a head covering worn exclusively by men. So what you’re describing is kinda… kinky.

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