Luggage Tags for the Land of the Free
Including "Note to Security: Have Fun Rifling Through My Underwear." Collect them all!
[Via BoingBoing]
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I’ve carried the security edition bill of rights through airport security like six times. It always winds up in those tubs with the rest of the contents of my pockets. It’s never been stopped once. I suppose I keep it and make the metal detector go off, but then I’d just have to take it out of my pocket and put it in a tub. But maybe it would get noticed.
That’s the thing about TSA, they’ll take your deodorant and nail clippers because they’ve been told “take deodorant and nail clippers” but as long as you paint your grenade to look like an apple, it sails right through.
“Hey Yo! The socks in my other bag are just the BOMB!”
“Note to Security: I’m NOT personally connected to al-Qaida. I just thought the turban looked pretty cool.”
Don’t hassle the airport security monkey. Just say, “thank you, sir, may I have another”
Very nice but not as inflammatory as the suitcase stickers we got from Reason Trustee, Drew Carey. I was grateful TSA didn’t find mine.
And like, Warren, I also have the security edition of the Bill of Rights. Never been ballsy enough to leave it in my pocket to set off the alarms. Mrs TWC threatening me with the couch has something to do with that I suppose.
What’s the airport code for Gitmo? GTO?
I also put my Security Edition Bill of Rights in the tub with my stuff, and they never, ever notice it.
Here’s a great note to leave in your luggage:
Leave a copy inside your luggage as well.
While walking through the TSA cattle line, I was discussing the software I wrote that generated BOMs. My coworker panicked, thinking that someone would mistake “BOM” (bill of materials) for “bomb”, and loudly whispered so that all could hear: “Don’t talk about the BOMs!”
🙂
Tee,
Dang near everything I hate about the government is tied to this little constitutional nicety.
I also put my Security Edition Bill of Rights in the tub with my stuff, and they never, ever notice it.
It’s rarely noticed likely because the TSA people can’t read.
Do they have a picture-only version of the Security Edition Bill of Rights?
it’s a boot… stamping on a face… forever.
I would use those if it said “dirty underwear”.
I remember a woman in New York talking to a reporter about the police checking bags of subway riders who volunteered to be searched. She said she felt safe and liked going to the officer to be searched as it made her a good citizen. I think we are doomed.
When I lived in NYC, I would make sure to take all my dirty laundry when I went to visit my mom. I wanted to have those TSA hacks plunder through my crusty undies. F’ers never did.