Terrorism

TSA Wants Airlines to Ask Passengers Nosy Sex Questions

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As it prepares to take over the job of checking airline passengers' names against the government's Master List of Every Terrorist in the World (a task now handled by the airlines), the Transportation Security Administration has come up with an innovative method for distinguishing between people on the list and people who happen to have similar names. "To reduce the likelihood of false matches," The New York Times reports, "airlines are to ask passengers for their date of birth and sex, although providing such information will not be required." For old-fashioned women of a certain age, supplying a birth date may be touchy, but I imagine they'll be even more offended when asked to identify their gender.

The TSA also will start requiring airlines to supply passenger lists for flights originating in other countries before the flights take off. The fact that airlines currently are allowed to wait until planes are in midair to transmit this information tells you something about how much confidence our government has in its "no fly" list. So does the fact that six years after 9/11 "John Smith" is considered an adequate identifier for a suspicious character who might want to blow up a plane or fly it into a skyscraper. Leaving aside the potential for confusion with all the other John Smiths in the world (a problem no one could possibly have foreseen), there is the possibility that a determined jihadist might not travel under his real name, assuming that it appeared on the list in the first place. The government does not even take this screening business seriously enough for it to qualify as a charade.

NEXT: Stick It In Your Earmark!

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  1. Sex:
    [] Never/only with spouse
    [] From time to time
    [] Not often enough

  2. Sex:
    [] Computer only
    [] Toys
    [] Relatives
    [] Animals
    [x]Weibskobold

  3. []making love
    []making whoopie
    []bonking
    []doinking
    []pinning the tail on the donkey
    []yodeling in the canyon
    [x]takin’ the pigskin bus to tuna town

  4. How I use my nose for sex is nobody’s business.

  5. I can’t top those.

    I just want to say I work with an airline reservation center and I am constantly amazed at how many folks have the same name even in our limited frequent flyer database.

    And asking women for their age over the phone is not a good idea.

    I can remember calls where a man’s voice was so
    effeminate I couldn’t keep from calling him “ma’am” even when I knew what his sex was…

    And cigarette scarred full throated females so butch you could not resist saying “sir’…

    Never mind the age thing…

  6. Hmm, this got me to wondering. Does anybody here who lives close to the Canadian or Mexican borders fly out of their airports to avoid the whole TSA routine?

  7. The problem is in the interpretation. The NTY reports that “airlines are to ask passengers for their date of birth and sex.” What they meant was that “airlines are to ask passengers for their date of birth and *for* sex.”

  8. I’m right there with ya’ libertreee. As someone who was also sentenced to working in airline res for a while, it’s gonna’ be tough. There was a time that you could have left that information collection to the agent at the ticket counter, but nowadays, with kiosks and online-checkin, sometimes the first point of actual passenger contact is at the jetway.

    CB
    Disclaimer – Retired 27 year airline employee.

  9. This isn’t news – airline passengers have been getting a good, hard screwing ever since 9/11.

  10. Um, don’t you have to show a driver’s license or passport – with your dob and gender right on it, to get past the security screen and again to get on the plane?

  11. atrevete | August 10, 2007, 1:37pm | #
    Um, don’t you have to show a driver’s license or passport – with your dob and gender right on it, to get past the security screen and again to get on the plane?

    Yes.

    As a person on the TSA list, who’s been through this for 2-3 years now, the deal now is that the Airlines used to have to call into a TSA office and report the person and their ID details before they could be told if they were ‘cleared’ or not. Now they can run the info themselves into their own DB without this step. They can’t actually *see* the list, but if they add these ‘qualifying’ details, the list will confirm i am not the actual listee, rather someone with the same name.

    I need to scan and upload the letter DOHS sent me after i tried to get off the list via their TRIPS program…

    http://www.dhs.gov/xtrvlsec/programs/gc_1169676919316.shtm

    Anyway, it’s orwellian to say the least. ‘we cant confirm you are on the list, nor can we remove you if you are. if you are on the list inappropriately, you will be tagged as such, but this does not mean you are not still on the list. etc etc’

  12. I just hope when they ask me to identify my gender, it isn’t too cold when I drop trou.

  13. Lightweights.

    [ ] Hot Carl
    [ ] Dirty Sanchez
    [ ] Texas Chili Bowl
    [ ] Strawberry Shortcake
    [x] Spacedock

  14. I’m not familiar with the Texas Chili Bowl, and I’m a Texas resident. What does it entail?

  15. []Cleveland Steamer
    []Detroit Roundhouse
    []Rusty Trombone
    [y]Cartman’s Mom
    [x]URKOBOLD Special

  16. ACH, it’s a joke from South Park:

    …the Texas chili bowl (the latter involving tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus)…

  17. If somebody asks me for my gender at the airport next month, I’ll pull on of my tits out and squirt the idiot in the face.

    Then at least I can go to jail for Assault With a Bodily Fluid 🙂

  18. Sounds better than a Chili Dog…

  19. Does anybody here who lives close to the Canadian or Mexican borders fly out of their airports to avoid the whole TSA routine?

    No, but that’s a damned good idea! I might look into using the Tijuana aeropuerto. Of course, then there’s the whole border-crossing mishegoss upon return…

  20. “airlines are to ask passengers for their date of birth and sex, although providing such information will not be required”

    So this is a problem why?

  21. Shut up, ed and show me your papers.

    CB

  22. Bronwyn, you’d better not have more than 3.5 ounces of goodness in yer boobs, combined, or you’re gonna have to empty them before being allowed to board.

  23. No offense… but there are terrorists named “Gilmore”?

  24. this is probably particularly a problem for transgender folk.

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