Face the Thing That Should Not Be

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First Megadeth, now Metallica. I'll try and get a Slayer post up before noon.

James Hetfield, the frontman with US metal rockers Metallica, was apparently questioned by security officials at Luton airport when arriving for the Live Earth gig at Wembley. Friends put it down to his "Taliban-like beard". We're thinking of a particular scene in This Is Spinal Tap.

Excellent on-the-spot analysis by British airport security, clued in on the terrorist plot to forgo Muslims with fake IDs and start recruiting pasty white Americans who dress scary.

Brian Doherty reported on that other "suspected terrorist" John Gilmore in 2003.

(Hat tip: Marty Beckerman)

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  1. Did they check his laptop for pirated music?

    Also, is Hetfield’s beard gray? How depressing.

  2. Slayer member calls Metallica “old”; drops barrage of F-bombs…

  3. Hey, I love Slayer (and on their last album, there is a song called ‘Jihad’), but the obvious band for your next metal/terrorism post ought to be Anthrax.

  4. Next thing you know they’ll be harassing Cat Stevens at security!

  5. I think they were just trying to arrest him for crimes against sound.

  6. How did that Live Earth thing work out, anyway? “Awareness” raised sufficiently? I confess to catching about 3 minutes of Melissa Etheridge and I was embarrassed for both of us. The crowd seemed to enjoy the festivities, if you define “enjoyment” as standing around, looking bored.

  7. Perhaps airport security merely wanted to inform Hetfield that he hasn’t put out anything artistically relevant since 1991.

  8. I believe that is actually a “Snuffy Smith” type beard.

  9. How did that Live Earth thing work out, anyway?

    I decided not to watch when I discovered they couldn’t get the Dave Clark Five.

    I believe that is actually a “Snuffy Smith” type beard.

    Does that mean Hetfield is a real McCoy?

  10. Also, is Hetfield’s beard gray?

    I first read this as “is Hetfield’s beard gay?” and I thought, “Of course it is.”

  11. Does that mean Hetfield is a real McCoy?

    D.A. wins the thread once again.

  12. This is amusing. No doubt the bloke in the full outfit by him went through no problem.

    You need to include a post on Anthrax if you want to hit all the “big-four” of thrash.

  13. This morning I learned that Spinal Tap had performed at Live Earth, and now I wish I had watched it.

    Global warming is increasing the risk of spontaneous combustion. It’s just not widely reported.

  14. I caught a few glimpses of the Live Earth goings-on while at a party. The usual vapidity/smugness vortex was at its expected apogee. 90% of the commercials were environmental in nature. And of course, there was the endless lecturing and hectoring from every commercial break bumper.

    When you consider that there was a touted “Genesis reunion” and that people didn’t even expect that to include Peter Gabriel, yet were still (mildly) excited…

  15. The usual vapidity/smugness vortex was at its expected apogee.

    Yes, but what most people don’t realize is that spontaneous combustion is still a very real problem. The media doesn’t focus on that aspect of global warming, but incidents of spontaneous combustion have been on the rise.

    You know what else has been on the rise? Gardening accidents. Ever since they started planting more trees to offset CO2…

  16. Unfortunately, it would be much easier to put up a story about Insane Clown Posse.

    I’m pulling for a Suicidal Tendencies reference, but I’m not holding out much hope.

  17. I missed the entire thing and I still feel worthy as a person.

    Sorry I missed Spinal Tap, but that they played only confirms the farcical nature of the event.

  18. It was a missed opportunity of obscure hipness that Man Or Astro-Man? couldn’t have reuinted for a rendition of “Man Made Of CO2”.

  19. I’ve long noted that the real problem with profiling is that the people who do the profiling have no idea about whom to check. Give Osama bin Laden blue contacts and a shave and he’ll waltz by security but let Hetfield grow a goatee and they alert the FBI.

  20. This morning I learned that Spinal Tap had performed at Live Earth, and now I wish I had watched it.

    There were none more green.

  21. I didn’t watch much of the concert, but it appears that the event was a success, since conservatives on the net are talking a lot about how unsuccessful it was.

  22. I was getting a bit pissed that every other fucking XM channel had it on, and that they only varied the concert location every 4th or 5th channel so that more than half of my presets at one point featured a screeching Madonna exhorting the audience to “jump up and down for the Earth” or some such madness.

    I caught about 4 seconds of a Bloc Party performance and my God that’s about all I could handle. I didn’t know they were that wretched live.

  23. I didn’t watch much of the concert, but it appears that the event was a success, since conservatives on the net are talking a lot about how unsuccessful it was.

    By that logic the Bush presidency must be a success too.

  24. I remember a couple of years ago that the guitarist for Motley Crue had his hip replaced. The newscasters were kind of snickering about it. Who can blame them?

  25. clued in on the terrorist plot to forgo Muslims with fake IDs and start recruiting pasty white Americans who dress scary.

    Ya forbid security from focussing on high-probability individuals (known as “profiling”), and this is what ya get.

  26. I think one positive result is the fact that now the whole world knows how crappy pop music has become. Thanks, Al Gore!

  27. Marty Beckerman has a creey website.

  28. Marty Beckerman has a creey website.

    A possible explanation

    Marty Friedman and his Cacophany band mate, Jason Becker, kicked open the door to the Shrapnel Records stable of guitarists in the mid-Eighties, and set the music world alight, a tag-team of speed and precision. In a relatively short time, the duo drew praise from their peers and serious interest from several name bands. Cacophany came to an end when Jason Becker joined David Lee Roth, and Marty Friedman accepted an offer with Megadeth. But the end of Cacophany was only the beginning. With the rise of the internet, Marty Friedman and Jason Becker merged to become Marty Beckerman.*

    * Note: text in bold indicates commenter embellishment.

  29. This beard goes to eleven.

  30. Even better when you consider that Hetfield is a Walnut Creek Conservative (first blog mention here folks).

    ps. $60B in carbon credits traded last year, on track for $120B this year. That’s a lot of sweet, sweet fees.

    pps. Bloc Party did truly suck.

  31. dbcooper | July 9, 2007, 4:07pm | #

    ps. $60B in carbon credits traded last year, on track for $120B this year. That’s a lot of sweet, sweet fees.

    There’s no way you could jump out of an airplane carrying that much cash.

  32. “I didn’t watch much of the concert, but it appears that the event was a success, since conservatives on the net are talking a lot about how unsuccessful it was.”

    Definitely! Low ratings = High ratings.

  33. They must have confused Hetfield with the Cowardly Lion. It’s happened before-especially back when his hair was longer.

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