Christian Busybodies Get the Vapors


Alcohol inhalers, which have been banned in 22 states since they were introduced to American consumers in 2004, will soon be illegal in North Carolina, home of Spirit Partners, the U.S. distributor of AWOL (Alcohol Without Liquid) machines. The Rev. Mark Creech, executive director of the Christian Action League of North Carolina (whose slogan, I shit you not, is "Somebody Really Should Do Something"), brags that he convinced the state legislature to ban the machines after he heard about them at an alcohol abuse conference last fall:

Imagine what would happen if users could fast track the mind-altering effects of alcohol and, at the same time, sidestep the hangover. That's exactly the appeal of AWOL. It is not complimentary of the great State of North Carolina that this new scourge for alcohol abuse is being marketed from within our own borders.

As I noted when I wrote about the anti-AWOL movement two years ago, health officials in the U.K., where the device was invented, do not seem to think alcohol inhalation poses special hazards that distinguish it from drinking. Indeed, the main knock against AWOL in the U.S. is the absence of a hazard (hangover) usually associated with alcohol consumption, an apparent advantage that, to the horror of moralists like the Rev. Creech, divorces sin from punishment.

According to the Christian Action League, the North Carolina bill, which was unanimously approved by the state Senate in April and unanimously approved by the state House yesterday, "makes it unlawful to inhale fumes for the purpose of intoxication, or to manufacture, sell, give, deliver, possess or use an alcohol vaporizing device. It also makes it illegal to possess or sell ethyl alcohol for the purpose of inhaling." So if you pick up a bottle of vodka in North Carolina and announce, "I think I'd like to inhale some of this," you have transformed an otherwise legal beverage into contraband.

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  1. [Affected foppish voice] Oh, my!

  2. Christian B. Body | June 21, 2007, 3:54pm | #



    Actually Mr Body, you got it right the first time.

    I think the real thing behind this is that it looks like taking bong hits… and that anything that looks like “drugs” (i.e. not drinking or cigarettes) is baaaaaaaaaad

  3. He affected a voice. It was an affectation.

  4. I said “whatever.”


    Go to hell!

  5. oh, additional point = Christians think that anything that makes sin *easier* should be opposed…. which is why they want like ID to be shown with contraception devices and shit, and oppose clamydia vaccine, etc. or whatever the fuck that was. Oh yeah, ovarian cancer. Whatever

  6. I find it interesting that you talk up how dangerous alcohol is compared to marijuana in the other posts, and now you’re saying we should make it easier for people to abuse alcohol.

    And you call ME a contrarian.

  7. I’m in NC, and I’m on my State Senator’s (Julia Boseman) email list. She frequently sends out updates about what she is supporting, what she is not supporting, how she’s making my life better, etc. She conveniently leaves off the retarded and/or controversial shit like this (she always fails to mention the gun control BS that she is sponsoring). This is the first I’ve heard of it, so obviously she supported it but didn’t feel like bragging about it.

  8. I said “whatever.”


    Go to hell!

    Well, at least you’re not anal about “proper English”.

  9. I said “Go to hell!”

    Gimme a martini, already.

  10. I remember thinking that the Pat Travers song with the lyrics “snorting whiskey, drinking cocaine” was pretty silly. Now, with the opposition to alcohol inhalers and the energy drink cocaine, I think those might be some of the most prescient lyrics in the history of rock.

    Well, not really, but it would make a great jingle for a business that was trying to sell both those things.

  11. How hard could it be to fabricate an alcohol inhaler? Why with just whats in a normal home it’d probably take, oh lessee, ONE try to get it right. I had a roomate once who’d snort tequila. What can you do? It’s alcohol, anything after the second beer/shot is bad for you anyway.

  12. If you are going to ban AWOL, you may as well ban Natty Ice, the assorted Aristocrat liqour products, and Bowman’s Virginia Pant Thin—er, “vodka”.

  13. Should read “paint”.

  14. Only fools who want to get drunk would want to inhale ETOH. I’ll savor my bourbon on the rocks, thank you.

    If they ban sales of these machines, why couldn’t someone simply get a medication nebulizer (like asthmatics use) and fill it with Everclear? That’s all these things are.

  15. They *are* trying to ban jello shots too. Seriously.

  16. All “Vodka” should be banned. It’s sinful and Communist.

  17. I think they’re miffed that they cant still ban Gay Buttsex and are just taking it out on drinkers…i mean…. huffers…

  18. Doh. After RTA, I see they don’t simply wish to ban sales of the machines, but make it illegal to inhale ETOH.

  19. I had never considered inhaling booze, but just to defy…


    I think I’m going to try it tonight. See ya Monday.

  20. If they ban sales of these machines, why couldn’t someone simply get a medication nebulizer (like asthmatics use) and fill it with Everclear? That’s all these things are….


    The second they realize this they’re going to say asthma patients cant have em either…or need a license or something. These dicks never stop

  21. I’m with Taktix. I’d never even heard of such a thing, but now I’m curious.

    you may as well ban Natty Ice


  22. you may as well ban Natty Ice

    Fraternities all over the country would rise in unison and attack North Carolina

  23. Nothing offends a Christian more than seeing somebody having a good time
    without the fear of going to hell.

  24. “Imagine what would happen if users could fast track the mind-altering effects of alcohol and, at the same time, sidestep the hangover.”

    Somebody somewhere might be happy you miserable fuck. That is what would happen. Where the hell have these things been all my life? Do they also keep from absorbing the calories? How can I get one?

  25. Stupid. They’re missing out on the flavor, chance for social interaction and the experience of just enjoying the drink for its own sake to get hammered.

    I wouldn’t use it, but the last thing bloody law we need to resurrect is prohibition in any form.

    We need a law where the next person who says we need to ban anything gets shipped to Saudi Arabia where they enjoy living with the morals police.

    All “Vodka” should be banned. It’s sinful and Communist.

    You can take my vodka, comrade, when you pry it from my cold dead hands.

  26. With an acronym like AWOL, I have an urge to buy in and market it near military bases. Betcha Fairchild AFB alone would make me rich. Those flyboys drink like sailors.

  27. All “Vodka” should be banned. It’s sinful and Communist.

    Oh, you mean Freedom Water?

  28. What is wierd is that in the sin/punishment pairing, the hangover is what the Reverand complains about. Never mind that there are other ill effects of alcohol abuse that “punish” the abuser. Why he is fixated on the hangover is bizarre.

    They way that they are against a device that divorces the flavor quality away from intoxication leads me to the inevitable conclusion: The people behind this legislation are in the pockets of Big MD 20/20, Big Thunderbird, and Big Wild Irish Rose.

  29. Heh, I noticed this on the Charlotte Observer site as well…someone has obviously failed to take a strong hint.

    -General Assembly gives final OK on bill to remove disbarred DAs

  30. The only approved alcohol has first been turned from water into wine by the Saviour.
    On the other hand, my Baptist mother always claimed that what the Bible called wine was only non-fermented grape juice.

  31. “The people behind this legislation are in the pockets of Big MD 20/20, Big Thunderbird, and Big Wild Irish Rose.”

    Don’t forget Big Cisco

  32. creech,
    Wow, I uh… that’s some powerful belief.

  33. They’re worried cuz they think they’re turning Japanese.

  34. New Testament Greek employed the same word for both juice and wine, as Old Testeament Hebrew used one word for both “young woman” and “virgin,” lending similar ambiguity to exigesis.

    Then there’s this.

  35. On the other hand, my Baptist mother always claimed that what the Bible called wine was only non-fermented grape juice.

    That’s the argument my grandmother makes. I haven’t had the heart to ask her what that says about Lot.

  36. Did they drink juice in biblical days? Wouldn’t it have spoiled too quickly?

  37. Wouldn’t it have spoiled too quickly?


  38. Hier ya go. Let us know what they say. 😉

  39. “additional point = Christians think that anything that makes sin *easier* should be opposed”

    nope. SOME christians think that.

  40. You can take my Brandy Snifter when pry it from my cold dead fingers.

  41. Christians think that anything that makes sin *easier* should be opposed

    I thought the christian deal was that it was virtuous to resist temptation. If you’re never tempted, how can you rise to the occasion? Hmmm? Gimme a chance, dude!

  42. Only a sado-moralist drug warrior could think that a hangover is a good thing.

  43. Doctor Duck, well quacked.

    In fact, a Russian proverb holds that “A girl must sin, lest she have nothing to atone for,” Which should please everyone here.

  44. The best way to avoid hangovers? Stay drunk.

  45. If this law passes up here, so much for my brandy snifter. The purpose there is to let your hand warm the brandy at the bottom, so that the aromatic fumes can be savored.

  46. Taktix,
    misread what you said, thought you were saying I’m going to try “The Asshole!” Which, if I remember correctly, is an option. There was some article about teens in Finland jamming vodka-soaked tampons in themselves and getting wasted, but some used too much booze and got anal alcohol poisoning. I’m not kidding.

  47. Speaking as a Christian, a beer enthusiast, and the son of an alcoholic, I think it is VERY dangerous to “divorce sin from punishment.” Hangovers have nothing to do with God… they are your body’s way of telling you that drinking too much is harmful. If doing away with hangovers means that alcohol is easier to abuse, and if alcohol abuse leads to alcohol dependence (which it does), then maybe banning AWOL is a good idea. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t dismiss this legislation out of hand. There are good reasons to ban AWOL.

  48. Mike,

    Have you thought about joining the Bibertarian party?

  49. What we need is to ban Religion since I have often seen people who go into altered states of religious consciousness, such as meditation, prayer, etc. etc. and those have no side effects either (except stupidity, but I think that’s the cause not the after-effect).

  50. Mike, speaking as an atheist I cannot accept anything you say or any of your opinions. Accepting Christianity is to show that you’ve ignorantly accepted a belief that is irrational and devoid of any solid evidence. Therefore, I have to question any sort of conclusion that you make regarding anything else. Sorry. You’re logical deductive and questioning skills are in doubt.

  51. I guess it is even more genteel to say “get the vapors” than to say “grows flatulent.” I suppose a much lesser publication would simply settle for “fart.” I raise a glass of Freedom Water to Reason’s high standards of verbal expression. Hic.

  52. how can you simply disregard someones opinion simply because of their religious beliefs? Are you not trying to be accepted in your own beliefs? As such should you not start the cycle by being at least accepting?

    I am an atheist or an agnostic ( i honestly cant make up my mind) and am also the child of alcoholics. While I do believe the legislation is extreme, I agree that making something too easy will lead to problems.

  53. What a fucking tool Mark Creech is. Christian? Fuck you.

  54. how can you simply disregard someones opinion simply because of their religious beliefs?

    Oh, that’s easy.

    Personally, I say go ahead and believe, and hold opinions based on belief. Just don’t take the step of assuming that your beliefs can contribute anything to discussions involving logic or reason.

    When your premises are non-logical, nothing that flows from them is logical. Self-consistent, maybe, but not proof of anything.

  55. So will we see some future presidential candidate insist that he drank, but he didn’t inhale?

  56. I am an atheist or an agnostic ( i honestly cant make up my mind)

    Not either/or.

  57. Considering that it takes 20 minutes of continual inhalation to imbibe 1/2 ounce of alcohol through the AWOL device, anyone who would use it to “abuse” alcohol would have to have a SERIOUS amount of free time on their hands.

  58. You know, the more I read about things like this, the more I wish the North had lost the civil war.

    Is it to late to go back and say, “oops, my bad, you can leave, have a nice theocratic country”?

    Then if we could just get the nanny-staters out of the picture….


  59. I had never considered inhaling booze, but just to defy..

  60. “All “Vodka” should be banned. It’s sinful and Communist.”

    Point in fact. Vodka was invented nearly a thousand years before communism, and was invented in POLAND. Not in Russia, reverend.

    Current Vodka production is largely US and Polish. Russia makes up less than 5% of worldwide Vodka production.

    Just thought you should have the facts.

  61. WHY, oh why, don’t these people make a very sharp point of referencing FUNDAMENTALIST Christians as the pooping partiers.

    There are MANY Christians, particularly us liberal ones, who have zero desire or intention to fiddle-faddle with what goes on in the personal lives of our fellow human beings. Mainly, because we desire this same treatment.

    So, please inhale your alchohol, regardless of what the state decrees. But if you drive on my road with an illegal amount of this stuff in your body I will hunt you down and make your frickin’ life miserable!!

  62. The reason this legislation is pointless is because these things cost 300 bones. Nobody would use it in public becaues it makes you look like a tard and there’s nobody out there that hates hangovers enough to sacrfice both flavor AND $300.

  63. i wonder if one of these could be combined somehow with a vaporizer. could be a new best way to enjoy both without hangover or smoke in the lungs.

  64. Nice article asshat. Everyone looooves to blame them some Christians.

    I love how you just quickly decide that because the guy is a Christian that anything he might be against is perfectly fine to do.

    Take religion out of it and what do we have? A product that removes what may be the number 1 deterrent to alcoholism: the hangover. Remove the consequence and suddenly it’s not so hard to get sloshed every day.

    I’m not suggesting for a minute that that would happen to everyone but it’s certainly something to evaluate before deciding whether or not to legalize these types of things.

  65. Some important points have been made – namely Mike’s point that anything addictive that comes too easily is more addictive. It has been shown that people who do not suffer from hangovers (or suffer far less intense hangovers) are at MUCH greater risk of becoming alcoholics. If it is true that it takes 20 minutes to inhale 1/2 ounce of alcohol, this shouldn’t be a problem. But if this machine becomes more efficient, it could lead to alcoholism amongst its users.

  66. Hey Douche (Could you have picked any other name? I’m trying to be civil here)

    The whole premise of removing the hangover to deter people from drinking too much is flawed.
    The problem with this argument is that you only think of the minority of people who will abuse it. It’s the same issue with drugs in our country. Many people (who are stupid enough to shell out $300 for this thing) will enjoy it responsibly without killing a family on the road. Many Americans are not alcoholics despite having the occasional night of drinking. Just because a few people will abuse this doesn’t mean it has to be banned for everyone.

  67. I would just like to say in a very egotistical and superior way. Religion is very perverted and egotistical. Our egos are what seperate us and arguing amongst our selves in a logical and reasonable manner is not actually very logical or reasonable. But either way its fun and I love it. But come on anything coming from some political reverend you know is twisted and full of alterior motives, I mean i wouldnt be surprised if this guy molested farm animals or something.

  68. When I was a young man just finding out about the different drugs I inhaled alchol. I used to fill my Jar(bong) with various spirts. It wasnt long until I gave that up along with alchol in favour of just smoking weed.

    IMHO being under the infuluence of alchol is not nice/fun/enjoyible no matter how you consume it.

    Weed is the much better alternative for me.

    Hardly any downsides to weed apart from society will make u feel like a c*nt for using it when u dont cause any trouble to any one else.

    in fact im only going to fight/steal/cause trouble if im drunk. I wouldnt dream of doing any that sober or high from weed.

  69. Fundamentalist Christians won’t stop until all progress is retarded and they can slowly revert to a society of fearful morons killing random people because they need a scapegoat for the latest flood, drought or lion in their territory. They call that “believing”.

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