Movies

A Love That Dare Not Neigh Its Name

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Actual headline from the New York Times :

Into the Shadowy World of Sex With Animals

The article is a review of "Zoo," a documentary about an unfortunately well-documented sex act that made the Internet rounds a couple of years ago. It includes one of the stranger opening paragraphs ever to grace the pages of the Old Gray Lady:

The director Robinson Devor apparently would like viewers who watch his heavily reconstructed documentary, "Zoo," to see it as a story of ineluctable desire and human dignity. Shot on Super 16-millimeter film, with many scenes steeped in a blue that would have made Yves Klein envious, "Zoo" is, to a large extent, about the rhetorical uses of beauty and metaphor and of certain filmmaking techniques like slow-motion photography. It is, rather more coyly, also about a man who died from a perforated colon after he arranged to have sex with a stallion.

I suspect there's a Stanley Kurtz column in here somewhere.

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  1. But remember: The Passion of the Christ is pornographic and overly violent.

    It’s these sort of nuances which show that the NYT is sophisticated.

  2. Have any of you guys ever been to Enumclaw? This story would be much less surprising if you have.

  3. Sex with a horse is one of those instances where it is indeed more blessed to give than receive.

  4. If only “Mr. Ed” had lasted a few more seasons, it coulda’ provided the greatest jumping of the shark imaginable……”Wilbur, I promise to be gentle”……

  5. Since this is going to degrade into halfwit puns anyway…be on the lookout for a white bronco, wanted for stabbing his ex-lover.

    *groan*

  6. I saw the movie poster for this a few months back, but I just assumed it was a photoshop job for someone’s joke. I need to take more things I see on the internet seriously, apparently.

  7. I need to take more things I see on the internet seriously, apparently.

    teh innernets should always be taken seriously. The content found on it? Feh, not so much.

  8. makes me proud to be from seattle…

  9. “Meow” means NO!

  10. Will Allen:

    I believe Doug “Greaseman” Tracht did a Mr. Ed radio bit over a decade ago, except in his version Ed got Wilber’s wife Kay pregnant; to wit,

    Wilber” “Ed, my son has a mane!”

    Ed: “Oh Wilber, she was begging for it!”

  11. Google “mrhands” if you want to find the video of said act. Two feet of horse penis disappearing into a gentleman inside a quarter second is…different, to say the least

  12. Google “mrhands” if you want to find the video of said act.

    No. No. No. No. No.
    No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
    No. No. No. No. No.

  13. Two feet of horse penis disappearing into a gentleman inside a quarter second is…

    Gentleman?

  14. Sex with a horse is one of those instances where it is indeed more blessed to give than receive.

    It’s also one of those instances were ignorance is bliss…I will therefore not be Googling “mrhands”, thankyouverymuchJack.

  15. Of course if the video involved a chick I’d probably already own it.

  16. The headline should have been:

    The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Neeeeeiiiigggghhhmmm.

  17. “A love that dare not speak its mane” would have worked, too.

  18. “Really Frickin’ Icky Movie” would have worked, too.

  19. High#: amen.

    was that your haiku? It was inspired.

  20. Gentleman? Sure, as long as they weren’t doing it in the street and scaring the …

    Oh, right.

    Kevin

  21. Like many, I was always wondering exactly what caused the unfortunate incident, whether it was related to him riding or the other way around. Thanks for clearing that up for me and everyone else!

  22. This certainly gives a new meaning to the phrase “horse opera.”

  23. LOL at “Shadowy World”. This isn’t film noir, it’s “Jackass” without the trained professionals.

  24. With equines I’m a “catcher.”

    Other mammals, anything goes.

  25. You cannot know love until you lay down with a Chestnut mare.
    You cannot know courage until you teabag a Clydesdale.
    You cannot know sweetness until your tongue has run along the subtle ridges of an Arabian’s taint.

  26. The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Neeeeeiiiigggghhhmmm.

    Joe wins the thread.

  27. Years ago my girlfriend’s mother came to visit for a few days and brought some reading material with her.

    Ginger’s Lusty Pets

    Featured a full color cover shot of a chick giving a horse a BJ.

    Community standards and all that redeeming social value stuff.

  28. No. πŸ˜‰

  29. And just who gave the horse latitude?

  30. Not even Hitler had sex with animals.

  31. His relationship with that horse impacted him for the rest of his life.

    and you wonder why sasquatch hides

  32. TWC: Ew.

    I think this post is highly ironic considering the viagra article’s on the front page.

  33. Here’s the two that made me laugh most:

    It’s also one of those instances were ignorance is bliss…I will therefore not be Googling “mrhands”, thankyouverymuchJack.

    The headline should have been:
    The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Neeeeeiiiigggghhhmmm.

  34. A stable relationship is hard to sustain.

  35. jb, ew is right.

    Ray G, loved those two as well, but most of the comments were pretty funny.

  36. Two things:

    First, I question the idea that this film could possibly demonstrate “human dignity.” Not questioning the morality, just struggling to compose a scene in my head that includes dignity…

    And second, not too many years ago it would have been possible to be sure you were the only person in history ever to utter the phrase “Two feet of horse penis disappearing into a gentleman.” This is no longer true.

    Cheers,
    RK Jones

  37. Didn’t he know the colon turns to the left?
    Perforated? How about ruptured?

  38. M: A stable relationship is hard to sustain.

    Why do foals fall in love?

  39. Well there might be fans in certain areas of the world. All those lonely shepherds might enjoy this film. What next? A movie about how Catherine the Great really died.

  40. M: A stable relationship is hard to sustain.

    Why do foals fall in love?

    To be filled with equine-amity?

  41. So, does this mean that the NYT movie reviews watch several times before writing, as opposed to the NYT book reviewers who do not bother reading before writing?

  42. Joe,

    Very good! “The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Neeeeeiiiigggghhhmmm.”

  43. From the article:

    “After all, Bible-believers notwithstanding, if you eat and wear animals and agree that it’s O.K. to torture them in the name of science and beauty, what’s the big deal?”

    For one thing, beastiality can introduce a new STD to human populations. That’s probably why the taboo isn’t a uniquely Western tradition.

  44. For one thing, beastiality can introduce a new STD to human populations. That’s probably why the taboo isn’t a uniquely Western tradition.

    You mean like head lice and crabs which humans got from having sex with gorillas and chimps?

  45. “Stevo Darkly | April 26, 2007, 3:48am | #
    M: A stable relationship is hard to sustain.

    Why do foals fall in love?”

    wow! hilarious!!!!!

  46. Congrats, Guy – looks like “Fairbanksing” might just get to be common terminology. πŸ™‚

  47. Didn’t he know the colon turns to the left?

    Wait, is that the horse’s left, or stage left?
    Please fill me in.
    I need to know by the weekend.

  48. Please fill me in.

    Haven’t you learned anything from this incident?

  49. Dear Movie Viewers:
    Please remember that a preview will be shown before the mane attraction.

    Sorry…all the good puns are already taken.

  50. It’s pony time,get up
    Boogety, boogety, boogety shoo

    Hey now let’s party with the union hall,
    It’s pony time when ya hear this call,
    So get with it,
    Don’t quit it,
    Get up.

    Do the pony with your partner,
    With a big boss line,
    Well anyway ya do it,
    You’re gonna look real fine,
    So get with it,
    Don’t quit it,
    Get up.

    Now ya turn to the left when I say gee,
    You turn to the right when I say haw,
    Now gee, ya ya baby,
    Now haw, ya oh baby, oh baby, pretty baby,
    Do it baby, oh baby, oh baby,
    Boogety, boogety, boogety, boogety shoo.

    Gonna see little Suzie, who lives next door,
    She’s doin’ the pony, she’s takin’ the floor,
    Eeea ah, so get with it, don’t quit it, come on,
    Boogety, boogety, boogety, boogety shoo.

    Do the pony with your pardner,
    Oh in a big boss line,
    But anyway you do it,
    You’re gonna look just fine,
    So get with, Don’t quit it,
    Come on. Eeeaaah

    Now you turn to the left when I say gee,
    You turn to the right when I say haw,
    Now gee, ya ya little baby,
    Now haw, ya oh baby, oh baby, pretty baby,
    Do it baby, oh baby, oh baby,
    Boogety, boogety, boogety, boogety shoo.

  51. You mean like head lice and crabs which humans got from having sex with gorillas and chimps?

    No, I think he means the sheep diseases.

  52. Like the bubaanic plague?

  53. Congrats, Guy – looks like “Fairbanksing” might just get to be common terminology. πŸ™‚

    LOL, that poor author is on a book tour and one of the topics that seems to be included where ever he gos is “what is it like to be Fairbanksed?”

    I only read a tiny bit of his work and really did not agree with it much, but he certainly did not deserve to be lied about.

  54. Been there, done that.

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