I'm Just Clambering Up A Fence/ You Can Say I Got No Sense

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Remember the nutjob who scaled the White House fence last year, right before the elections? Kansas City's The Pitch catches up with him—he's a disgruntled would-be Ron Kovic named Alexis Janicki.

Two days earlier, Janicki and his wife, Jamie, had arrived in Washington, D.C., to visit Janicki's mother. Janicki announced he didn't feel well, but they went on with their plan to visit a conference on green energy. The crowds on the subway made things worse. When they reached the expo, Janicki snapped. After Iraq, crowds often have that effect. He took off without a word, dashing roughly 10 blocks toward the White House.

Now, as Janicki approaches the fountain, three Secret Service agents blitz toward him. Their guns are drawn. One man holds the leash on a German shepherd. Tall and lithe, Janicki swings wide around the fountain, keeping it between him and the men.

Past the fountain, Janicki darts at full speed. He's just 10 yards from the White House doors when the agents intercept him and raise their weapons.

Janicki pulls up. He raises his hands. "Stop!" he screams. "All right, you got me." Janicki chuckles, then cheers, "Whoo-hooo!"

Takeways from the article: 1) Janicki's life has been surprisingly un-ruined by his White House blitz, possibly because the POTUS was out of town. 2) Even after he blitzed the White House no one is paying much attention to his boiling-over angry psyche.

Here's a companion piece:

Almost one-third of returning veterans who received health care at Veterans Affairs facilities between 2001 and 2005 were given a mental health or psychosocial diagnosis, according to a report in the March 12 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine, one of the JAMA/Archives journals.

Some reports have suggested that soldiers returning from Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, the most recent military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, experience high rates of substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental health conditions, according to background information in the article.

Happy Thursday!

NEXT: And Don't Be Surprised if Jack Dempsey is in the White House; Cardinal O'Connor, Secretary of the Treasury; Spike Milligan, Minister of Education; Tommy Makem, Secretary of Fine Arts; and Miss Enya, the First Lady

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  1. Let me see if I have this straight (can we use that term in H&R?) . . .

    The civil liberties of everybody in america are at risk, every protest organizer is under surveilance, but bing an Iraq vet gets you immunity from government scrutany and the medical system championed by Socialists?

    SIGN ME UP!

    Oops, I have been “signed up” for 28 years now. Help me think of something wacky I can get away with 🙂

  2. Why are America’s civil liberties at risk?

  3. Washington D.C. makes people crazy? Stop the presses.

    In my experience with veterans services a mental health consult is the school solution anytime they can’t immediately solve your problem. I’m surprised it’s only one third.

    I read the same thing about returning Vietnam vets. It was probably also true of the Persians who survived Thermopylae.

  4. “Some reports have suggested that soldiers returning from Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom, the most recent military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, experience high rates of substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental health conditions, according to background information in the article.”

    What? Operation Tar Baby is stressful? I heard it was going to be a cakewalk.

  5. Remember that nutjob who flew a Cessna into Red Square in Moscow? I don’t either.

  6. Help me think of something wacky I can get away with 🙂

    “Hand it over, Guy,” said Beatty with a fixed smile.

    And then he was a shrieking blaze, a jumping, sprawling, gibbering mannikin, no longer human or known, all writhing flame on the lawn as Montag shot one continuous pulse of liquid fire on him. There was a hiss like a great mouthful of spittle banging a redhot stove, a bubbling and frothing as if salt had been poured over a monstrous black snail to cause a terrible liquefaction and a boiling over of yellow foam. Montag shut his eyes, shouted, shouted, and fought to get his hands at his ears to clamp and to cut away the sound. Beatty flopped over and over and over, and at last twisted in on himself like a charred wax doll and lay silent.

    The other two firemen did not move.

    Montag kept his sickness down long enough to aim the flame-thrower. “Turn around!”

    They turned, their faces like blanched meat, streaming sweat; he beat their heads, knocking off their helmets and bringing them down on themselves. They fell and lay without moving.

    The blowing of a single autumn leaf.

    He turned and the Mechanical Hound was there.

  7. Man, I feel totally gypped. When I came back from my time in “the sandbox,” all I had was a slight aversion to fireworks and stairs.

    But then, I still sometimes have dreams where we’re moving out in 15 minutes and I can’t find any of my gear…

  8. Man, I feel totally gypped.

    joe! Racism alert!

  9. What’s with the anti-Roma people bias here? What if we change “Gypped” to “Jewed”?

  10. How ’bout “Welched”…that way we can keep it non-semitic and non-Roma.

  11. On the other hand, I think we should insult every race.

    Gypped is when you’re Jewed out of a small amount of money. Jewed is when someone Welches on a larger committment. If you let someone Welch on a debt to you, you’re a Polack, and if you don’t make them repay you eventually you’re French.

    (Actually, at one point in history “Frenchified” was used to mean “debauched” in England).

  12. It’s a jerry-rigged word to begin with.

  13. Don’t get my Irish up!

  14. Go ahead and try to enforce this ban on biased language. Personally, I don’t think it’s got a Chinaman’s chance.

  15. Know what a Quaker is? He can buy from a Jew and sell to a Scot and still make a fine profit!

  16. Wasn’t it a Mormon who made a fine prophet?

  17. Can I get in on this?

    Um, watch out for the Puerto Rican with the knife.

    No, that one is tired. Let me try again.

    Watch out for the drunk Irishman on Saturday.

    No, that sucks, too.

    Samoans are fat.
    That’s better.

  18. I think Monty Python’s Flying Circus already covered everything.

    BTW, I need about 100 miles of fine copper wire. Anybody have 2 Scottish boys handy to fight over this penny?

  19. Highnumber – when in doubt, just break out the Trixie jokes!

  20. At least the Samoans aren’t Indian givers.

  21. I expect better of you people than using the names of nationalities as insults.

    What are you, a bunch of Mongoloids?

  22. VM,
    Got any good ones?
    (lptrixie.com is currently out of order)

  23. And Hawa”’i”””a””ns are phat.

  24. lpchad.com

    http://www.lpchad.com/about-trixie/

    bummer that lptrixie is down.
    (p.s., check yer handle!)

  25. Check whose handle? 😉

    At best vaguely apropos, I’m reminded of something a female friend once told me about a blind date:
    “Heather said he drives a BMW, but I don’t care about what kind of car he drives.

    “Besides, it was only a 3 series.”

  26. Its a damn good thing guns were illegal or it might have gone real bad.
    with his speed and natural ability to scale fences, you woulda thought his name would have been more mexican sounding.

  27. Man, I feel totally gypped. When I came back from my time in “the sandbox,” all I had was a slight aversion to fireworks and stairs.

    All I kept was the ability to instantly fall asleep riding in any form of transportation. Oh, and the ability to wake up suddenly when required.

    But then, I still sometimes have dreams where we’re moving out in 15 minutes and I can’t find any of my gear…

    I have the opposite dream. It’s time to march over the horizon, and I have my gear. All 400 pounds of it.

  28. David,

    There was another White House fence jumper today. Saw it on the news when I was slurping down tasty ribs at King Street Blues!

    Think he reads your posts?

  29. Alexis Janicki
    Will be thought a sicky,
    But his call
    Echoes “Tear down this wall!”

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