Naked Gun 33 1/3 Co-Star Dead at 39

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Postmodern playmate/reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith is dead, felled by… really, who knows? Just turn on a TV over the next 24 hours and you'll find out. I recommend the coverage on Fox News, where Mort Zuckerman just said, unbidden: "I certainly preferred her to Yasser Arafat."

Last year Nick Gillespie blogged on Anna Nicole's trip to the SCOTUS.

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  1. Jeez, and she took such good care of herself…

  2. “Do you like my corpse?”

  3. What won’t she do to get attention?

  4. But the real question remains…did Joe prefer her to Castro?

  5. So I guess that Trimspa really works.

  6. “I certainly preferred her to Yasser Arafat.”

    So did I. And to think she didn’t get a Nobel Peace Prize. Oh wait, that’s right she didn’t kill innocent Jewish kids.

  7. Like mother, like son…

  8. As my mother always used to say “it doesn’t matter how you die, just as long as you die thin. ” RIP Anna.

  9. Fuck

  10. The sites that usually make fun of celebrities are treating this as a serious matter (Best Week Ever for example). It is nice to see Hit and Run commenters getting the jump on inappropriate jokes. Her daughter’s paternity issues could result in a real life “My Two Dads” if the judge is cool.

  11. I haven’t figured out why that’s funny, but it struck me so.

  12. I certainly preferred her to Yasser Arafat.

    OK, I know Fox is obsessed with the “threat” of terrorism, but that has to non sequiter of the century.

  13. At least she outlived her ancient husband.

  14. I wonder if she was murdered.

    She did piss off some pretty wealthy ppl.

  15. I wonder if she went to the grave bearing a grave and shameful secret; one that was about to be revealed and would have made her despair of life itself.

    Wait, that’s not my business neccessarily. Hope she rests in peace.

  16. Sam Franklin,

    It can’t be the unhealthy lifestyle – weight up & down…probable use of dangerous stimulants…heavy consumption of HFCS…

    Got to be a conspiracy, eh?

  17. Fox News has just called it: The cause of death of both Anna and her son is methadone overdose.

  18. I always thought Courtney Love would be the first to go.

  19. It can’t be the unhealthy lifestyle – weight up & down…probable use of dangerous stimulants…heavy consumption of HFCS…

    she played right into their hands, didn’t she? Just like my Kurt.

  20. Does this mean Howard Stern gets all of the old dude’s money now?

  21. This just serves to underscore that money can’t buy happiness. But it sure generates a heap of scorn from the ignorantly envious.

  22. Fox News has just called it: The cause of death of both Anna and her son is methadone overdose
    ====================================
    Does this mean that Trimspa might have had a little help from heroin?

  23. Here’s a little internet jewel I’ve been holding out on. I’m sure sometime in the next week or two there will be a major update to mark her passing. But check it out now to see the tribute that built in life.

    http://www.lardbiscuit.com/anna.html

  24. Fox News has just called it: The cause of death of both Anna and her son is methadone overdose.

    so many accidents!

  25. Warren, that Lard Biscuit site goes waaay back – I think he started it in the late 90s, when Anna Nicole had gained 80 pounds and actually looked pretty good in the right lighting. (It’s easier to when you’re tall and in your late 20s.) He lost me when he celebrated her second weight gain, the one coinciding with the E! Show, which IMHO just looked terrible.

  26. OK, here is what happened the government hired William Donohue to kill her because she was debasing the moral standards of the country and was dating a jew (one who was NOT a neocon, neocon Jews are cool). So William Donohue poisoned her by putting thallium in her coctail at that casino.

  27. No, Anna Nicole Smith was in possession of a hard drive stolen from the headquarters of a Corn Syrup research lab. The contents of that drive would have revealed a plan to make the whole world fat and then profit from diabetes treatments and Slim Fast sales. She was killed by the same guy who did in Kurt Cobain, who was targeted for stealing the list of the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices.

    Her body will be taken to Area 51 for cremation.

  28. Her daughter’s paternity issues could result in a real life “My Two Dads” if the judge is cool.

    Except this time it will actually be funny.

  29. She was hot. RIP

  30. And DB Cooper shows up in a thread about the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

    Coincidence? I think not!

    I’ll bet that she was about to reveal your true identity, wasn’t she?

  31. David,
    D Trull has a unique take on a lot of issues. As someone who despises the flesh-covered-skeleton standard of beauty (I blame the homosexuals by the way) I really wanted to stay on board with him. But the Anna Nicole thing just got really out there. In the end, I found his views on just about everything too surreal.

    Still, one has admire a shrine built with so much loving attention, and devoted to the likes of Anna Nicole.

  32. BTW the late 90’s is NOT waaay back sonny.

  33. “Her body will be taken to Area 51 for cremation.”

    The last time anything was cremated at Area 51, it resulted in a lawsuit.

  34. where Mort Zuckerman just said, unbidden: “I certainly preferred her to Yasser Arafat.”

    Weigel wins the thread. Okay, Zuckerman wins the thread, sorry.

  35. I always thought Courtney Love would be the first to go.

    Kurt shot the wrong Cobain, sure enough.

    I can’t claim credit for that gem cuz I swiped it from my buddy Colonel Hogan.

  36. Tittle-Tattle?
    Dishing Hollywood Dirt Daily

    Email this article Print this page Send Us A Tip
    Howard K. Stern: ‘I’m Being Set Up Over Daniel’s Death’
    By Staff
    Feb 8, 2007

    http://www.postchronicle.com/news/entertainment/tittletattle/article_21263077.shtml

  37. I think that astronaut lady did it.

  38. Two apropos epitaphs, lifted from others:

    Gore Vidal on Truman Capote’s passing: “It was a good career move.”

    Bette Davis on her hated rival Joan Crawford’s passing:”One should never speak ill of the dead. Joan Crawford is dead; good.”

  39. And DB Cooper shows up in a thread about the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

    Coincidence? I think not!

    I’ll bet that she was about to reveal your true identity, wasn’t she?

    Illicit drugs aiding terrorists once again Thoreau.

  40. Pfffft, Who cares? I’d much rather spend an afternoon with Akira or Jennifer any day.

  41. Akira is a chick?

  42. Who names their daughter after a male comic book character? Who in turn was named after an art house film director?

  43. Just in case anyone cares, I’ve written my own memorial blog post for her.

  44. Nope, sorry, no one cares.

  45. I was standing in line at the Time Warner place a couple hours ago – a gentleman in line behind me says, appropos of nothing, “Anna Nicole Smith died today.” I say “really? hmm.” And he proceeds to tell me he’s sure it was murder, they got her son and now they got her. Cos of all the money she was trying to get. I said “they?” Yeah, they – you know how vindictive people in Houston are (WTF????) I said she did have a pretty unhealthy lifestyle. He goes on to talk about the astronaut chick; I say she obviously didn’t have any girlfriends, cos that’s what your girlfriends are there for – “You want to do WHAT? Don’t fucking move. We’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

    And yes, I will talk to anyone.

  46. >The sites that usually make fun of celebrities are treating this as a serious matter

    Amidst a galaxy of train-wreck stars, Anna Nicole had a dimmer light than most. It’s kinda hard not to be sympathetic towards her. I think the celebrity expose sites might be treating it seriously in atonement for all the really mean things they’ve said about her over the years.

  47. Nope, sorry, no one cares.

    Think again, Billy boy! According to SiteMeter, at least four people have already followed my link-and I posted the link less than an hour ago. In yer face!

  48. So I go to the hospital to see my grandfather who was admitted yesterday. He’s ill, they’re running all sorts of tests, we don’t know how serious it is. My sister, a couple of my aunts are sitting in a waiting area. The very first thing said to me is “Did you hear Anna Nicole Smith is dead?”
    On some level, yes, people care.

  49. By the way, I replied, “Didn’t she have Howard Stern’s baby?”

  50. isn’t every presidential dynasty required to leave behind at least one dead famous blonde?

  51. Anyone else see Larry King tonight? They had her “friend” former pro wrestler Chyna and another friend say that Chyna was a stalker who wouldn’t leave Smith alone.

    Larry King: Chyna, do you want to respond to what Monique said, you were not a friend of Anna Nicoles?

    Chyna (looking like she is about to pass out and die, rambling, with eyes bareley open): I’m shocked…because..that wasn’t the point… I didn’t speak to Anna but she wouldn’t ret…she didn’t want to…

    Larry King: She didn’t want to be a friend of yours?

    Chyna (getting self-conscious): Its not that she didn’t want to be a friend of he..mine..I think its just that you know you want to be alone. Its kinda like you don’t want to go out…or…she asked me to come hang out by the pool with her and those times I didn’t want to go outof…First of all I think it is extremly rude what that woman said…

    Larry King: Is that what she said Monique?

    Chyna (talking over him): So go out and get some Trim Spa. Its exactly what I’m talking about…

    Hopefully someone will put this on You Tube.

  52. Akira is a chick?

    Nope.

  53. Courtney Love is talented; she’s made some good music. Anna Nicole Smith was not talented, other than that she had a body that looked really, really good at times. I’m not trying to put her down, but the comparison is ill-chosen.

  54. NB for those upthread who mentioned that Anna-Nicole may have had “Howard Stern’s” child:

    NOT Howard Stern, the King of All Media (but now just mainly satellite radio and PPV).

    Howard K. Stern, Anna-Nicole’s longtime lawyer and “companion.”

    Big difference.

  55. Why is it never the right Naked Gun co-star that leaves us “too soon”?

    Kevin

  56. Akira is a TRAP

  57. As someone who despises the flesh-covered-skeleton standard of beauty (I blame the homosexuals by the way)

    Um… what? That’s like blaming McDonald’s for causing fat people.

  58. cgee = N.F.A.A.

  59. As someone who despises the flesh-covered-skeleton standard of beauty (I blame the homosexuals by the way)

    Um… what? That’s like blaming McDonald’s for causing fat people.

    “Um… what?” to the both of youse!

  60. The theory goes like this:

    It is believed by some that the ideal body type, according to homosexual men, is that of a thin, teenage male.

    It is also believed that homosexual men control the fashion industry.

    Assuming that these beliefs are true, it is not unreasonable to believe that homosexual men that control the fashion industry are imposing their idea of beauty by using (female) models that have bodies similar to thin, teenage males.

  61. I’m convinced this is one grandly elaborate PR stunt.

    wtf is 4chan doing here?

  62. I wonder if that old has-been, Sir Elton, will drag out another retread of “Candle In The Wind” (Goodbye, Norma Jean) to commemorate Smith’s passing?

  63. More likely it would be some C&W version called “Fat-tittied Ho’ Down”.

  64. What took her so long?

  65. Kevrob — Priceless!

  66. Akira is a chick?

    no, chicks can actually touch real boobs.

  67. It is believed by some that the ideal body type, according to homosexual men, is that of a thin, teenage male.

    Ha ha ha. Yeah, I guess that explains why we’re all child molesters.

    I think the appearance of today’s models is more likely controlled by the appetites of lusty heterosexual men, not a tiny cabal of omnipotent fags.

  68. Yeah, I think that Astronut broad is breathing a heavy sigh of relief, since ANS blew her off the gossip page.

    Now she can focus on beating that attempted murder beef, and then go about winning that hunky shuttle commander’s heart.

  69. It is believed by some that the ideal body type, according to homosexual men, is that of a thin, teenage male.

    “Some” who’ve apparently never come across gay porn.

  70. The cause of death of both Anna and her son is methadone overdose.

    That explains it. Pot is the gateway drug to heroin. Heroin is the gateway drug to methadone. Methadone is the gateway drug to death. The WoD makes sense.

  71. “I think the appearance of today’s models is more likely controlled by the appetites of lusty heterosexual men, not a tiny cabal of omnipotent fags.”

    I don’t many straight men who desire stick-figure women.

  72. Yeah, I really doubt that skeletally-thin women are the choice of straight men in the fashion industry. (all two of them! *zing!*) I always just figured that fashion designers hated models, and humans in general, for being potentially distracting from their glorious clothing. If they could have the clothes walk down the runway unaided, they’d probably do it. Like George Lucas and actors, you know?

  73. I think the appearance of today’s models is more likely controlled by the appetites of lusty heterosexual men, not a tiny cabal of omnipotent fags.

    Hey, I tried to be nice! Using a phrase like “It is believed by some…” should be a dead giveaway.

    Anyway, I (as a heterosexual) am not attracted to skinny-assed models (and I don’t know many men who are, except for a few who sure seem gay, or at least excessively metrosexual). I’ve dated women with bodies like that, and they felt all hard and boney (which might sound good to some, but I found it somewhat repulsive).

    Look, it’s either the fault of women or gay men, or both. It sure as hell is NOT what straight men want. Hell, they’ve done tests that show that what men believe to be the ideal female body type, women think is fat. Ha! The feminists would really hate that–the entire eating-disorder-culture is the fault of women!

  74. I agree. Women who look and act like models date metros or closet-cases, and for the record, I prefer to gaze at curves, not jutting bones.

  75. NOT Howard Stern, the King of All Media (but now just mainly satellite radio and PPV).

    Howard K. Stern, Anna-Nicole’s longtime lawyer and “companion.”

    Whew! For a moment I thought she was screwing Howard K. Smith. She seemed to have a thing for old, dead guys.

  76. Fashion designers want walking hangers for their clothes, not beautiful women to draw attention to them selves.[quote]It is believed by some that the ideal body type, according to homosexual men, is that of a thin, teenage male.[/quote] Some want that (twinks), others want muscled weight lifters (gym bunnies), still others want fat hairy guys (bears). The only thing gay men have in common is the desire to have sex with other men.

  77. The only thing gay men have in common is the desire to have sex with other men.

    Right. But we’re not talking about the gay community as a whole. We’re talking about that subset in the fashion industry that’s advancing an unobtainable feminine ideal. I think they’re attracted to feminized men. And they try to make the female models look like young men.

    There is also merit in the theory that designers want models to look like walking clothes hangers. That would explain why the “fierce” runway walk must be executed without any hint of humanity expressed on the models face.

  78. Dude, this thread went totally gay.

  79. I think no one is asking the really important question here: Did the coroner jack it to her dead body? I bet he at least played with her tits and took some polaroids before slicing her chest cavity open.

    And thanks for the insightful theories on the fashion industry.

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