Alcohol

Jell-O Shooter Man Avoids Jail-O, Finds Home for Booze Biz in Temperance

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The Detriot News tells the strange story of Brian Pearson, an entrepeneuer who was the first to market the Jell-O shot, under the brand name "Zippers."

Pearson's business apparently raised the ire of Hope Taft, former first lady to Ohio's corrupt ex-governor , who fretted that Pearson's business was targetting children.

Eventually, Pearson's home and business were raided by ATF agents. He was accused of illegally manufacturing alcohol. He valliantly fought the charges, and a grand jury refused to indict him. Unfortunately, his subsequent lawsuit against his persecutors was unsuccessful.

Pearson has since relocated and reopened his business—and finding renewed success. Here's the punchline:  The new headquarters for BNPC Distillery?

Temperance, Michigan.

Hat tip: Jacob Grier.

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  1. Revenuers foiled again! Seems G_d is getting even with Ms. Taft and the entire State of Ohio* in the BCS game too.

    *I understand that there is still some question of Ohio’s Statehood in this blog, so I am using the term loosely.

  2. That’s ex-governor as of yesterday, mind you.

    Bearing that in mind, can you say it a few more times? It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside… at least until we see what Gov. Strickland has in store for us.

  3. you don’t need to say “Here’s the punchline:” when what follows is obviously the punchline.

  4. Ohio can rot. Cleveland is a shithole, Colombus is a propped up cardboard cut out town and Cincy might as well be Klantucky with porn. I’d say it’s the worst state, but as Guy mentioned, we can’t be sure it is even a state (plus there’s Deleware to consider).

    Their liquor isn’t even real half the time. 60 proof whisky? No wonder god hates you.

    And Nitty, you can’t be that simple. It’s an emphasizing phrase.

  5. Hey Cinnabob….thanks for leaving Dayton out of the mix. After all, we’re the birthplace of aviation and DON’T YOU FORGET IT!

    I remember trying the Zippers Jello shots in college back at Ohio U…..what a waste. They had nothing on our Everclear concoctions, even when they didn’t harden up.

  6. Terrorific,

    Don’t forget lots of tank parts were made there, but Dayton is also the home of mideast peace according to the KKKlintonistas.

  7. Terr,

    Dayton never did me wrong, so I’ll leave it be. Hell, maybe I’ll just start referring to the whole place as Dayton and its distal suburbs.

    What is up with that 3/4 strength liquor anyway? Some local once explained to me that it had to do with two different types of licenses and specially made weak liquor for certain stores. When asked how you can tell which you are getting at a bar without inspecting every bottle, he shrugged and said that he just figured he could trust them. That’s two of many reasons I double fist whenever I can’t avoid going to Dayton and its distal suburbs.

  8. What is up with that 3/4 strength liquor anyway?

    42 proof liquor can be sold in grocery stores. Anything stronger can only be sold in a State liquor store (or these days, one of their authorized agents). Some grocery stores have proper liquor stores attached, but typically in a seperate area with it’s own checkout. I can’t say why the distinction exists, but I expect it has something to do with obsolete blue laws and protecting state employees.

  9. I like that he’s on an almost border town, right off I-75, thumbing his nose at Toledo and the entire state of OH.

  10. Jello shots are fucking gross. Mixing alcohol with sugar is 1-way ticket to instant hangover. I can’t believe the shit I drank when I was a kid. It would’ve been quicker (and cheaper) for me to bang my head against the wall. Same effect.

    Kids: don’t make the same mistake. As long as it’s not skunked, BEER is your friend!

  11. As long as it’s not skunked, BEER is your friend!

    Nonsense. Mr. Nice Guy. Too little alcohol. Too many empty calories. On the rare occasions I drink, I prefer downing high-proof shots. That way, I can get a buzz in the shortest possible time, without loading up on the empty calories which make people fat.

    If you’re gonna get drunk, at least do it in an economical and health-conscious way.

  12. Everclear and Gatorade. The punch of champions.

  13. Empty calories? No way–they’re full of flavor.

  14. I prefer downing high-proof shots. That way, I can get a buzz in the shortest possible time, without loading up on the empty calories which make people fat.

    Hear, Hear!

  15. Wait. Why aren’t we a state? Is this another Tax Protester thing?

  16. Wait. Why aren’t we a state? Is this another Tax Protester thing?

    No, it is me poking fun at the same old tax protestor thing 🙂

  17. Oh yea, every time I see the term Jell-O I think of that Biafra boy, formerly of The Dead Kennedys.

    Had to provide security for him at a hacker con, refused to work around him on the next one.

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