OJ Simpson. There, I Said It


Having no particularly startling things to say on the topic, other than I support everyone's right to write and sell objectionable and doubtless crappy books, and everyone else's right to complain and refuse to sell or buy them, it seemed we might be remiss not to allow our loyal commenters to have a place to sound off on this vital matter. (Feel free to prove me wrong, if you so desire.)

This New York Daily News story covers the basics of booksellers' impotent rage, Judith Regan's beaten-girlfriend-motivated, totally public-service-based desire to publish the girlfriend-slashing confessions/fantasies of OJ, and the interesting detail that she sold it as a pig in a poke to many booksellers, who were apparently relatively eager to purchase "Untitled by Anonymous" when it comes from ReganBooks (owned by Rupert Murdoch, for what it's worth.) Last time I encountered that sort of sales technique was from indie rock label Touch n' Go when I was a buyer at Hyde and Zeke records in Gainesville, Fla. back in 1988ish–it turned out to be the debut single by Steve Albini's post-Big Black combo, the regrettably named "Rapeman." I ordered 5, and could have sold more. I'm not sure there's a lesson in this.


NEXT: Congressional Leadership Watch: The More Things Change, Etc.

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  1. Rapeman was and still is the shit, just fwiw, so I think this strategy is golden.

  2. Okay, now do we get a thread for Britney’s divorce, too?

  3. Budd, don’t. That single was better than 2 Nuns.

  4. Hyde and Zeke. I wonder if it’s still there? The Porpoise is gone, CJ’s is gone, Skeeters is no more. . .only Burrito Brothers remains.

  5. And don’t forget: David Wm. Sims pre-Jesus Lizard. F*ck OJ, except for Capricorn 1, that movie was seriously bad all on its own.

  6. The Rey Washam interview at Prindle is pretty awesome:

    so is the Albini one for that matter.

  7. I’m all choked up with pride that our Hit and Run comments crew is far more interested in ’80s Chicago indie rock than OJ. As for a Britney thread, feel free to threadjack this one.

  8. Lamar,

    And the Naked Gun films. To think that I used to like O.J.–shudder. At least this should silence his defenders.

  9. I was being snarky, Brian, but obviously not snarky enough. I’d rather have my teeth knocked out with a red hot hammer than discuss Britney Spears.

  10. What I don’t understand is how they plan to stretch ” I went over to Nicole’s how and saw her with another man. In a rage, I stabbed and slashed them both to death, then drove home. I packed the knife with my golf clubs and flew to Chicago, where I tossed it into Lake Michigan. I came home thinking I was free and clear when I met the Police. I wish I’d worn smaller shoes that night, and remembered to throw the gloves out too. ” into 240 pages.

    That’s going to be a hell of a lot of filler.

  11. The Porpoise is gone?? What about Salty Dog (which I preferred)? And yes, Hyde and Zeke is still “there”–in Gainesville–but no longer “there” in the same location across campus it was when I worked there 1987-89.

  12. David, I can stretch that out easily:

    “In theory, I could have gone over to Nicole’s house and saw her with another man. In a rage, I probably would have stabbed and slashed them both to death, and then I likely would have driven home. I could have packed the knife with my golf clubs and maybe flown to Chicago, where I would have been able to toss it into Lake Michigan. I would have come home thinking I was free and clear until I met the Police. I probably would have worn smaller shoes that night, and hopefully I would have remembered to throw the gloves out too, had I killed them, which I definitely didn’t.”

    Only 239 pages to go…

  13. I have one thing to say about Britney Spears: Last Tuesday, when the citizens of the most powerful country on earth were voting in a major election, CNN displayed a banner on its web page saying “Breaking News! Britney Spears to get divorced!”


  14. My fianc? will watch some of those “Wacky Celebrity Antics” shows on occasion. I hurt my eyes from all the rolling they do when she watches such trash. First, how stupid are these people? Second, why does anyone care? I can see about ten minutes interest in the weirdness of it all. . .over the course of a lifetime. But that’s it.


    It was gone the last time I was there, a couple of years ago. I was surprised, because it had actually expanded into the space next door (which was a game room or barber shop when I was there). Then, poof!. . . . Okay, I did a little checking. I think there’s a new version open on University.

    The Salty Dog Saloon still stands, as does Joe’s Deli (though I don’t know if they’re all in the same locations). I should go up again, though I feel like a cranky, old alumnus the rare occasion that I do visit.

  15. If someone, ANYONE in The Mainstream Media will talk with me, IN PUBLIC, about OJ Simpson and Simpson’s Regular Limousine driver, my ex-in-law Rocky Bateman, who drove Simpson regularly from Approximately August of 1993 to June of 1994, and quit BELLY-ACHING about Simpson, and covering-up for so many others, I can PROVE that Rocky Bateman unloaded murder evidence for OJ Simpson.

    Here are my website’s if anyone wants to contact me.

    The OJ Simpson Case

  16. I still have a tape of Two Nuns and a Packmule in a box buried somewhere.

    I had to listen to it very privately, it being difficult to explain, in the highly PC co-op in which I lived, that I was listening to “Rapeman”. I think I would have been kicked out just for that. Yes, P-ness was that bad.

  17. t:

    Goddamn it, why are you so glib? Of course it was big news. Britney and Kevin have two beautiful boys. And the couple were so CUTE together!

    But.. somehow.. it just didn’t work!Apparently, Kevin is living in a U-haul now, yelling “Bitch, gimme back MY BABIES, yo!” It’s so heart breaking.

    Stop being so glib.

  18. Did anybody see that (1) a town in New Mexico banned flying foreign flags unless old glory is on the pole? and (2) the NYPD has wasted close to $2 million trying to stop the Critical Mass bicycle organization (which operates peacefully everywhere else it acts, I think)?

  19. Saw Rapeman at Revival in Philly. They played a loop of the Budd video repeatedly the entire show. Hung out with Steve beforehand. Boringly normal guy. I dig his aesthetic. Wack show.

  20. Somehow, Hyde & Zeke is still open (albeit in a new, less expensive location). Just the other day as we drove by, my friend turned to me and asked, “How the hell is that place still open?” I said, “Hell if I know.”

    But it is. It is still open.

  21. Salty Dog is still there, but Porpoise is gone. Porpoise moved to the old Common Grounds building (and CG’s moved to the old covered dish building), but it didn’t last. There’s a punk club there now called 1982. In place of the Porpoise is some super college hangout with multiple wing nights, I think.

  22. Greg,

    Huh. I saw something on the web making it sound like something called the Purple Porpoise had reopened on University, but I’ll believe an eyewitness over the web any day of the week. And it was certainly gone the last time I was up in Hogtown.

  23. Pro,

    The Porpoise moved from its old location to the old Common Grounds building, which is on University Ave. But that turned into 1982. Last I heard, the Porpoise was long gone. I guess it could’ve opened somewhere else, but not that I’ve seen…

  24. Gainesville died for me when the old Skeeter’s closed. No more Asher with the big buttermilk biscuit for me. Oh, and a shot of bourbon (yep, 24-hour breakfast place with a full liquor license–gotta be a college town!).

  25. The Sun just had a big write-up about Skeeter’s not too long ago. I ate there only once, years ago, but man was it delicious. I’m not sure Burrito Brothers is there anymore, either. I can’t recall (even though I live about two blocks from it), but I think they tore that whole area down to build condos and churches…

  26. Wow, Hit and Run assembled is into both Gainesville nostalgia and Chicago indie rock nostalgia more than OJ nostalgia. Cool. OK, I finally have an audience who might appreciate a drunken whimsy of mine from those days: combining two Gville Treats, the Skeeter’s giant biscuit (never to my taste, honestly—too thick and doughy) and the Leonardo’s by slice garlic biscuit–soaking a Skeeter brick in that garlic oil for hours…

  27. Burrito Brothers must still exist, because I believe it’s attempting the franchise thing down here in Tampa. Like CJ’s and Skeeter’s. Which may be a curse of death, huh?


    Ah, Leonardo’s. Mmmmmmmmm. Do you remember that kind of frou-frou restaurant on University? I’m stymied on the name, but it’s the one that professors sleeping with their students would always go to 🙂

  28. that would be Leonardo’s 706. Many a friend of mine worked there, and helped cement my opinion that restaurant kitchens are the most decadent and depraved arena of the human experience. Both Leo’s are still there, as far as I know. I am blanking on what you guys are meaning by “CJ”s–was that a post 1991 thing?

  29. Please don’t tell me that Burrito Brothers closed down. I used to love that place. When I moved to D.C. I saw that there was a Burrito Bros. near my apartment and I was heartbroken to discover that it was an unrelated chain.

    Always, always order extra red sauce.

  30. Is the Covered Dish still there?

  31. I worked as a dishwasher in an Italian restaurant when I was 18 (while working two jobs during a summer home in Tampa). Never in the course of human events have I witnessed so much workplace sex. Not directly, I hasten to add. But the stories were never ending, as were the bits of circumstantial evidence. Our assistant manager, a recently married young woman tried to ply me with large quantities of Lambrusco each night. Only my inability at that age to accept that an older, married woman was really trying to molest me saved me.

    CJ’s was a very popular bar on Archer (full name was Calico Jack’s). It had $0.25 beer on Tuesdays or some other day–can’t remember. Anyway, it’s gone. I also used to go to The Park, which was a combination bar and hot tub place. They had $0.05 beer.

  32. Covered Dish gone, tho the space is still an indie rock club—now Common Grounds.

    There was a place on 13th st. called “Scubbys” or something similar in the late 80s that used to have on Monday nights quarter oysters combined with nickle beers or glasses of wine. When I went there one monday to discover the special was discontinued and foolishly asked why, the waitress straighfacedly informed me there “hadn’t been much demand for it.”

  33. There used to be a couple of CJs in Orlando. They closed down about ten years or so ago.

    I knew they were a chain. Did they disappear completely of just downsize radically?

  34. Brian,

    That waitress was a damned liar. I can say authoritatively that no bar in Gainesville lacked demand if it served beer for less than $0.50. I loved nickel beer. Not just because of my ability to destroy my thought processes for less than $2.00, but because I could buy a round for the table, despite my poverty.


    They tried it in Tampa, too. Initially, I think it was pretty successful, but I think they overextended themselves and lost most of the chain. I do believe there are a couple left in Florida, somewhere.

  35. The name ‘Rapeman’ came from, I believe, a Japanese porn comic. Rapeman’s (the band) cover of ZZ Top’s “Just Got Paid” is second only to The Dickies’ cover of the Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” in terms of horrible brilliance.

    D. W. Sims (and I believe Washam, too, I’m feeling too lazy to check) were originally in Scratch Acid with David Yow; Scratch Acid were the ugly little brothers to the Butthole Surfers in the Austin LSD/punk scene during the 1980s.

    (Okay, first I find Little Fyodor posting here three days ago, now a reference to Steve Albini in Hit & Run. Why is Reason trying to make me re-live my twenties?)

  36. I won a $25 gift certificate to 706 the other week at a poker tournament at CMC. I need to go cash that sucker in. 706 is the only place in town (well, Bistro too) where you can get fine dining, good wine, and see hot, tattooed chicks way punker than you all at the same time. My favorite Leo’s, however, is Leo’s Millhopper, where you can get the most delicious deep dish pizza while hearing the faint sounds of the Misfits greatest hits record from the back.

    Burrito Brothers didn’t close; it just moved to a different spot (across from Library West, close to where the old Burger King was). Not sure if that’s the same food as the chain. I doubt it.

    Covered Dish building went through a phase where it was like 5 different types of college night clubs. Common Grounds has restored the building to its glory.

    Of course the Hardback is gone (as are the few attempts to restore that ethic in different places).

    Been here since ’97; never heard of CJ’s.

    That ought to cover it…

  37. CJ’s is from the Before Time. I was at UF from 1984 to 1988, and I think CJ’s was still there for a few years after that. Oh, well.

  38. OH, Calico Jack’s! Yes, that’s still here (though not on Archer. It’s just off of Newberry Road, about 4 blocks west of 34th street). I don’t know why I didn’t think of that; everyone still calls it “CJ’s”.

  39. I owned that CD…I gave it away becouse I hated it…I still don’t know how owned it in the first place…i think someone left it at one of the many communal houses I lived in and I just grabbed when no one else claimed it.

  40. opps never mind I am thinking of Big Black’s “songs about fucking.”

  41. GET OUT

    ps: I, too, lived in Gainesville, if only for a year. ’01-’02 ‘sup.

  42. Will this hurt someone?

  43. Go to The Goldman family has created a website to boycott the O.J. Simpson book and interview. Another website is Also contact local FOX. MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

  44. A year, Whiskey? Everyone knows you have to live here for like ten years, then move away, then move back to be considered a “real” resident.

    This place is like a gigantic magnet.

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