Do As I Proclaim, Not As I Do


Self-negating White House satire in two easy pieces! Part One:

Now, therefore, I, George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 15 through October 21, 2006, as National Character Counts Week. I call upon public officials, educators, librarians, parents, students, and all Americans to observe this week with appropriate ceremonies, activities, and programs.

Part Two:

The president's speaking at a fund-raiser for Virginia Senator George Allen in Richmond, and one for Pennsylvania Congressman Don Sherwood at Keystone College.

Allen's been battling allegations he used racist language and liked Confederate symbols—after being caught on tape calling an opponent's election worker "macaca." In a recent poll, Allen and Democrat Jim Webb were neck-and-neck.

Meantime, Sherwood's been in trouble since admitting a lengthy affair with a much younger woman—and settling a lawsuit claiming he choked her. In a heavily Republican district, a recent poll gave challenger Chris Carney an edge.

An edge in the polls, but obviously not an edge in character.