Five states and the District of Columbia hold primary elections tomorrow, which means dozens of no-hope fringe candidates are reaching the ends of their respective rainbows. As I've followed some of these campaigns for possible articles, I've seen some of the stupidest paid advertisements this side of "Apply directly to the forehead." Here are two favorites.
– Vincent Orange's poetic salute to himself (DC mayoral candidate).
– Allan Lichtman's too-far metaphor about politicians, rocks, and sludgy Maryland water (Maryland, U.S. Senate).
This is a case where localized knowledge can lead to better info; if you've seen a particularly pathetic or humorous campaign go on the air near you, flag it in comments.