The Ideal Platonic Blog Post

You can now stop reading blog comment threads forever. Jim Henley and his readers have stripped away all but the essentials to reveal the pure form of the blog post/discussion, producing what Radley Balko calls "one of the greatest collaborative compositions in the history of the Internet."

Comments

[sage +P]

Don't read this.

[science]

rejoinder

[Native NYer]

uncleaver aftr jkoe

[R C Dean]

Blames all on corn syrup. Points to discovery process as vehicle for scientific discovery.

[MayDay72]

First!

[smacky]

I was going to read through all of the comments on there, but it just keeps going! IT's (h)UGE!

[Rene M]

Ceci n'est pas une poste.

[Matt L]

Comment posted while wasting time at work reading blog after blog after blog...

[Lurkee]

/me propositions Reason Pillow Girl despite her non-presence on the blog today

[Pro Libertate]

Irrelevant-to-thread humor.

[Adriana]

Obligatory fart joke

[Pro Libertate]

Trollish nonsensical remark followed by overgeneralizing insult--e.g., You are all idiots if you don't agree with my wrong-on-its-face assertion.

[ChrisO]

the roman empire did things differently, which is why our civilization is going down the tubes.

[Uncle Lumpy]

All of this ignores the real problem, which is George W. Bush!

[StoneyBaloney]

pointless introduction:

A) useless point for argumentative aesthetics
B) useless point for argumentative aesthetics
C) unclear argument

another unclear rehash of fallacious statement made in C with adhominem.

Equivocation due to harsh languge in unclear rehash.

* Ctrl-A delete to start over *
* Back button because a sense of humor is lacking *

[sage +P]

Turn off your caps lock key, idiot!

[zach]

I don't think the idea is that we repeat the experiment on H&R.

Comment by matthew hogan ?
April 9, 2006 @ 5:14 am

Nobody expects some kind of obscure Monty Python allusion.

[S.R. Chamberlain]

We must do something to stop the youth diabetes epidemic.

[theOneState]

The only thing I don't see is the comment that was deleted without a trace.

[Kwix]

Post calling somebody a conservatarian when clearly he is a statist.

[Steven Crane]

o rly?

ha! i win.

[Mr. F. Le Mur]

It's all the fault of the scam called child support and those damn feminists.

[eric mattingly]

Reference to the band Hitler's Missing Testicle.

[Mo]

Jennifer, you ignorant slut.

[citizengnat]

Statement made by conservative that libertarians are naive and out of touch with reality.

[citizengnat]

Statement made by liberal that libertarians are naive and out of touch with reality.

[citizengnat]

Statement made by liberal that libertarians are naive and out of touch with reality.

[D.A. Ridgely]

Three or more paragraphs composed principally of compound-complex sentences, with one (or, too frequently, more) parenthetical expressions(s) per paragraph. Recently Googled quotes and/or HTMLs adding a patina of ersatz authority in lieu of genuine erudition or personal insight. Relatively dry commentary of an obliquely didactic nature occasionally punctuated with expressions of wry bemusement or what, in any case, by blog standards, passes for it. Too many commas.

[citizengnat]

Statement made by liberal that libertarians are naive and out of touch with reality.

[citizengnat]

Statement by libertarian implying that non-libertarians are either evil or just haven't thought it through clearly.

[Jersey McJones]

I am smarter than you. You are idiots.

[Pro Libertate]

Hey, JMJ, I already did that one! 🙂

[You Know Who]

Wish for unlikely misfortune aimed at Phil.

[Stevo Darkly]

Repeated post; reference to squirrels that power the server.

[Stevo Darkly]

Repeated post; reference to squirrels that power the server.

[Someone else]

Explanation of what a libertarian ought to believe.

[Yet another person]

Surly condemnation of Christians.

[Stevo Darkly]

Post with a reference to A Titled Work but with failure to close the HTML tags so that almost the entire multi-line post is in italics, and so on and so on and so on.

[Stevo Darkly]

Apology for HTML error in previous post.

[agonizingdrz]

Incoherent post by a noob who has obviously never read anything on the site before, accusing everyone of rabidly pro-Bush partisan views that no one here actually holds.

[NoStar]

Statement by Jersey McJ asserting that if Libertarians were true to their philosophy they should be uniformly against collaberative compositions.

[ChrisO]

Iraq is the next Vietnam.

[Jennifer]

Post for the express purpose of saying that this thread is so boring it's not even worth the time to post in.

[Kwix]

Condemning post about how those 'whole foods' wackos are against the progress of bio-engineering followed immediately by a statement of "that being said I shop at Whole Foods on occasion."

[thoreau]

This thread is stupid.

[thoreau]

This thread is stupid.

[thoreau]

Sorry about the double post.

[thoreau]

Sorry about the double post.

[thoreau]

Sorry about the double post.

[wellfellow]

emphatic post expressing the idea that I can criticize something without wanting to make it illegal!

[Pro Libertate]

Use of a Latin phrase without explaining its meaning.

[NoStar]

What this thread needs is for Jennifer to get naked and wash her hair.

[Never been here before]

I'm new to this but I must say this is the best blog site ever. I'm bookmarking it!

[sage +P]

Kerry would have been worse.

[thoreau]

[Insert Ayn Rand joke here.]

[thoreau]

[Insert angry post from Objectivist here.]

[rhywun]

Threat to cancel my subscription.

[NoStar]

Comment from the Reason Pillow Girl.

[NoStar]

Followed by Cavanaugh banning the poster who signed on as the Reason Pillow Girl.

[barnes&noble]

obscure reading assignment before embarrasment

[Isaac Bartram]

Another abusive comment about the server squirrels!!

[mk]

Reference is made to the blue guy

[Steve Bozell]

My attorney Delores Blasingame tells me that I can sue all of you for income lost due to my having to read through all of these useless posts.

And I'm suing my wife for buying me the computer and my daughter April for not doing her homework on the computer thereby impeding me from having been trapped inside this thread.

(weeps uncontrollably)

[thoreau]

Complaint about the carpet humper.

[NoStar]

I'll put my money on Carpet Humping Guy to kick Chuck Norris's ass any day of the week.

[NoStar]

And that goes for Jack Bauer too!

[Kwix]

A promise to subscribe to Reason if a certain person shuts up.

[Kwix]

A post lambasting Christards.

[Kwix]

A quick rebuttal stating that "We Christards are at least Holy enough to restart the Inquisition."

[Kwix]

Tired and Cliche Monty Python quote.

[Chuck Norris]

Chuck Norris blog would totally kick Jack Bauer's blogs ass!

[Stray Slashdotter]

In Soviet Russia, comments blog you!

[Adriana]

Post sneering at the wrong use of term "serfdom"

[Adriana]

No matter what Bush did, so did Clinton

[Adriana]

Ayn Rand farting joke, with praise for Howard Stern

[Adriana]

Howard STern farting joke, with praise for Ayn Rand

[ADriana]

Howard Stern/Ayn Rand joke, with praise for farting

[Spammer bot]

animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act animal sex act

[thoreau]

Insert obligatory list of libertarian disclaimers here.

[speedwell]

Comment relating the post to my own personal situation, implying that it should likewise apply to the personal circumstances of all other readers. High-handed brushoff of anticipated objection.

Additional comment pointing out that not all vegetarians care if you eat steak.

Afterthought apologizing for the somewhat strident tone of the first paragraph.

[jw]

BUSH LIED!!!

[jw]

No, he didn't. You're an idiot!

[jw]

Yes, he did! And YOU are the idiot! I'm just a Democrat.

[jw]

No, I'm not! I'm a Republican!

[jw]

Same thing!

[jw]

So are you!

[BSDM Man]

I think all of you guys just need to cool down the idealogy a bit. I mean us joe schmoes just want to get by and all this talk of freedom just grates on the nerves, I mean whats in it for the little guy, you know?

Your friend in the "mainstream",
BSDM Man

[jarry junnels]

As usual, Jennifer and thoreau are stinking up the place with their disgusting lack of logic. Not too mention, thoreau's Papistry prevents him from understanding higher concepts or from accepting that god never existed, while Jennifer is just as stupid as a doorknob.

[shakloot]

Not to mention, I am a genius.

Deal with it.

[smartassed sob]

I thought knobbers were something one did to doorks.

[water of sex]

I thought knobbers were something one did to doorks.

Comment by: smartassed sob at April 13, 2006 03:41 AM

What an imbecilic comment, I will box your ears for your impertinance!

[water of sex]

I thought knobbers were something one did to doorks.

Comment by: smartassed sob at April 13, 2006 03:41 AM

What an imbecilic comment, I will box your ears for your impertinance!

[Adriana]

ivy:

CLINTON DID TOO!!!!!

[Sharon Loeb]

Insinuation that I have far in-depth professional knowledge of the topic at hand, while in reality I know nothing.

[Adriana]

Sneer at the obvious ignorance here of everyone but me.

[mk]

"We Christards are at least Holy enough to restart the Inquisition."

Impassioned and overly-scholarly defense of the motivations behind the Albigensian crusade of 1209.

[Eric the .5b]

Irritated dismissal of all libertarians opposing some vast expansion of government as hopelessly purist.

[G M]

saddened statement bereft of capital letters analyzing the topic at hand. whether the question is an expansion or (tiny) contraction of government, it is clear that whatever happens, it is a sign of the relentless death spiral of government into utter tyranny, something that mirrors the overall decline of western civilization for the past seven hundred years. head-shaking explanation that freedom is just a selfish desire for heedless autonomy and that slavery isn't really all that bad in a society better suited to achieving the ineffable state of universal purpose. many, many words rarely broken up by paragraphs, monolithic piles of verbiage allowing the eye no purchase on sentence-structure.

[Where'd Ruth Go?]

Anarchy would be better! This is the last comment I'll make in this topic.

[Farces Want Attention]

Smug observation that only lawyers can solve this problem.

[Ow, the Irony]

Repeated posts with different names set, just to mess with people.

[It Came From Another Blog!]

Horrified question to the effect of, "OMG, do you people really oppose big government? Are you crazy?"

[Incompetent Spammer]

This blog is great. Keep it up! And take a look at [messed-up link]

[P Brooks]

Add Hominem; stir over open flame

[Adriana]

'
"We Christards are at least Holy enough to restart the Inquisition."

Impassioned and overly-scholarly defense of the motivations behind the Albigensian crusade of 1209. '

Acid rebuttal from self-described neo-Cathar.

[Adriana]

Server squirrel complaint

[thoreau]

Comment that I do want to respond to a point even though this has fallen off the main page.

[Spambot]

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[CharleyHorse]

This is the blog that never ends.
It goes on and on my friend
Some people starting posting not knowing what it was
Now they are still posting because..