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A Rose of Muhammad by Any Other Name

Julian Sanchez | 2.16.2006 6:07 PM

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…might get you stoned to death. Yes, in the proud tradition of "freedom fries," if you want to order a Danish for breakfast in Iran now, you've got to ask for a Rose of the Prophet Muhammad. (HT: Wonkette)

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Julian Sanchez is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Evan   19 years ago

    It's good to know that middle-america idiot republican nationalists are on the same page as theocratic wacko jihadists in iran. Hell, if it weren't for the towels and the beards, I doubt I could differentiate in a lineup.

  2. Mo   19 years ago

    Hey, at least this was done by a private citizen's organization rather than the government.

  3. E. Steven   19 years ago

    Fine. I'll just take a bite out of a croissant to teach those motherfuckers a lesson.

  4. fyodor   19 years ago

    What if I see a face in my Danish?

  5. Eddy   19 years ago

    What if I see a face in my Danish?

    Say it's MoHamlet and sell it on ebay.

  6. Akira MacKenzie   19 years ago

    There is a local change of Chicago-style hotdog resturants where the uber-Republican owner (The guy literally has a shrine to Ronald Reagan at his West Allis store.)has "freedom fries" on the menu.

    Still... His hot dogs are $.99 on Sundays. That's an offer even this anti-nationalist can't refuse.

  7. Emerson   19 years ago

    First you denounce all the embassy violence in the Middle East as excessive. Now the Iranians take a sensible approach to dealing with this problem by renaming danishes, and you mock them? Is there no pleasing you people?

  8. mediageek   19 years ago

    I can only hope that there are a bunch of smarmy-ass Gen X Iranians who will make a point of walking into this shop and announcing that they would like to order a cup of coffee and a Large Cheese Danish.

  9. Stephen Macklin   19 years ago

    Excuse me MediaGeek, but to be truly smarmy-ass they would be ordering a venti.

  10. Ken Shultz   19 years ago

    Still... His hot dogs are $.99 on Sundays. That's an offer even this anti-nationalist can't refuse.

    My sense of value probably wouldn't refuse it, but my digestive system might.

  11. lj   19 years ago

    Crazy:
    President 'Just Fine' With Cheney Explanation

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,185062,00.html

  12. Syd   19 years ago

    Does this mean they'll protest cartoon pastries now?

  13. bigbigslacker   19 years ago

    I've had security concerns lately. 'thinkin of getting me an Allah Shepard or maybe a Great Muhammad...

  14. Karen Cox   19 years ago

    I keep a list of Things Sensible People Never Do, which includes ordinary stuff like "don't drive when you're drunk," and "always write a thank-you note." I have now dediced to add "don't rename food for political points."

  15. Stupid One   19 years ago

    I have never been to Iran or Denmark and I know next to zilch about either place, but I have some technical questions for anyone who might know. Wouldn't an Iranian pastry shop's sign be written in Farsi ? And do Danes really call their pastries "danishes" ?

  16. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    Stupid One,

    I think they originally come from Austria, but they are quite common in Scandavian countries.

  17. . . .   19 years ago

    testing

  18. Milton   19 years ago

    Coming soon to a theater near you, Hamlet, Prince of Arabia!

  19. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    Milton,

    He he he. 🙂

  20. thoreau   19 years ago

    Who could ever forget our beloved poster Prophet Moose?

    I like big dogs. If I ever have a big back yard I'll get a Great Prophet.

  21. Stupid One   19 years ago

    If I ever have a big back yard I'll get a Great Prophet.

    Is Marmaduke a graven image of the Great Prophet?

  22. joshua corning   19 years ago

    Rose of Muhammad?!?!

    Why don't they just call it the vagina of Ayesha and be done with it

  23. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    thoreau,

    I like big dogs. If I ever have a big back yard I'll get a Great Prophet.

    You do realize that dogs are considered vile by most Muslims (because Mohammed, according to various collected Hadiths, said some pretty nasty things about dogs)?

  24. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    Joshua Corning,

    They'll eat them in the party that follows the regular habit of stoning women to death in Iran.

  25. thoreau   19 years ago

    What about acclaimed actress Claire Prophets?

  26. JK   19 years ago

    "dogs islam" is a fun string to type into google.

  27. Josh   19 years ago

    (HT: Wonkette)

    Good to see the Wonkette tradition being upheld - reporting all the oldest, most common knowledge on the internet, but with a cute feisty girl's picture on the page!

  28. Stupid Dog   19 years ago

    You realize that dogs are considered vile by most Muslims

    So *that* is why Saddam keeps calling his accusers dogs? Do you realize that 'dog' is considered a term of friendship among hiphopsters?

  29. Rick Barton   19 years ago

    If I put baklava on the same plate with Danish pastries, would they annihilate each other?

  30. Rhywun   19 years ago

    "dogs islam" is a fun string to type into google.

    Wow... strange, disturbing stuff. I had no idea.

  31. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    Stupid Dog,

    So *that* is why Saddam keeps calling his accusers dogs?

    Perhaps. He might also be intimating that they are the agents of the Jews, since many Muslims associate dogs with Jews. Yeah, I don't get it either, but rabid anti-semitism is rampant amongst Muslims.

  32. jp   19 years ago

    I used to know an Irish girl whose grandpa always referred to turds as "Cromwells." Is that the same sort of thing?

  33. jkp   19 years ago

    Wow. Can't they even invent their own little bits of cultural insanity -- do they have to steal all of ours, too?

    Oh, right....praying to Mecca five times a day, refusing to eat pork, afraid to look at women who aren't aren't covered, head-to-toe in a sack.

  34. Mo   19 years ago

    All,
    There is nothing in the Koran that says anything bad about dogs. However, in the hadith, there are injunctions about owning dogs. The question is then, how valid are the hadith. The way I was raised was the Koran in the primary source and only certain, validated hadiths can be used as a supplement. For some reason, I seem to remember being told, if it doesn't say no in the Koran, it's not technically a sin.

    P.S. Most of the crazy shit that goes on in Muslim law involves the hadith more than the Koran.

  35. Mr. Nice Guy   19 years ago

    "Dog Islam"

    Isn't that the name of Kenue Reeves' band? Or am I thinking Russel Crowe?

  36. anon   19 years ago

    since many Muslims associate dogs with Jews.

    What the hell are you talking about? I know tons of people from the ME and I never heard anything like that.

    As for dogs, they are considered filthy animals (at least the stray ones). They are mostly used for hunting or as guard dogs in the ME. Of course, aristocratic families have them as pets. It is used as an insult. If you call someone a 'dog' or a 'son of a dog', is similar to calling them filthy. If you call them 'donkey,' it is equivalent to calling them stupid.

  37. mk   19 years ago

    'son of a dog'

    If I rememeber my Herodotus correctly, Cyrus the Great was mistakenly thought to have had "a bitch" for a mother due to a misunderstanding of his mother's name by the Meads.

    I know that doesn't really have to do with anything. I just wanted everyone to know that I read something once..

  38. mk   19 years ago

    Dammit. Cyrus' mother was a Mead. It was the persians or some other people who got her name wrong.

    My one big chance to look learned and I blew it 🙁

  39. Pro Libertate   19 years ago

    Mede. Mead is a fermented honey drink. Unless his mom was a sweet alcoholic beverage and not a dog, after all.

  40. Qbryzan   19 years ago

    Well, if you are what you consume, and she drank nothing but Mead, it is possible...

  41. VM   19 years ago

    Stupid one:

    Wienerbr?d ("vienna bread"). the "d" is soft - kinda like the "th" in "father".

    and: can Hamlet and Lawrence do some sort of "Brokeback Arabia"?

    MNG: Canoo-reves's band is "Dog Star" 🙂

    happy friday!

  42. mk   19 years ago

    Alright, I didn't "read" Herodotus' Histories, I listened to the audio version in my car during my commutes, hence the misspelling. Happy?
    🙂

  43. Pro Libertate   19 years ago

    Only if the audio book was unabridged. Can't abide abridgements.

  44. Homer   19 years ago

    Son, a woman is like a good mug of mead. . . .

  45. Hakluyt   19 years ago

    anon,

    What the hell are you talking about? I know tons of people from the ME and I never heard anything like that.

    I have.

  46. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  47. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  48. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  49. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  50. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  51. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  52. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  53. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  54. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  55. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!

  56. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!The Danish cartoonist rightly went after the pedophile Mohammed. Oh I am using presentism and ethnocentrism against that war-monger , for in his day and his country to bed down a 9 year old girl was the thing to do.Sam Harris in the End of Faith demonstrates that moderate religion has to answer for extremeism.I'm glad that GOLDWATER didn't have any use for the Falwells.Libertarians should support the ACLU .

  57. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!The Danish cartoonist rightly went after the pedophile Mohammed. Oh I am using presentism and ethnocentrism against that war-monger , for in his day and his country to bed down a 9 year old girl was the thing to do.Sam Harris in the End of Faith demonstrates that moderate religion has to answer for extremeism.I'm glad that GOLDWATER didn't have any use for the Falwells.Libertarians should support the ACLU .

  58. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!The Danish cartoonist rightly went after the pedophile Mohammed. Oh I am using presentism and ethnocentrism against that war-monger , for in his day and his country to bed down a 9 year old girl was the thing to do.Sam Harris in the End of Faith demonstrates that moderate religion has to answer for extremeism.I'm glad that GOLDWATER didn't have any use for the Falwells.Libertarians should support the ACLU .

  59. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!The Danish cartoonist rightly went after the pedophile Mohammed. Oh I am using presentism and ethnocentrism against that war-monger , for in his day and his country to bed down a 9 year old girl was the thing to do.Sam Harris in the End of Faith demonstrates that moderate religion has to answer for extremeism.I'm glad that GOLDWATER didn't have any use for the Falwells.Libertarians should support the ACLU .

  60. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    YOUR Ayn RAND was right about religion.Why would a god need billions of people in thousands of langua ges to worship him.Poor self-esteem!The Danish cartoonist rightly went after the pedophile Mohammed. Oh I am using presentism and ethnocentrism against that war-monger , for in his day and his country to bed down a 9 year old girl was the thing to do.Sam Harris in the End of Faith demonstrates that moderate religion has to answer for extremeism.I'm glad that GOLDWATER didn't have any use for the Falwells.Libertarians should support the ACLU .

  61. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    sorry I didn't realize I REPEATED.

  62. morgan lamberth   19 years ago

    sorry I didn't realize I REPEATED.

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