"Stick a Fork in This Weiner," "Adios, Carlos Danger," [Insert Anthony Weiner Joke Headline Here]

courtesy TheDirty.comcourtesy TheDirty.comIt's getting late - almost the Witching Hour - so why not post the latest pixelated, nightmare-inducing shot of former Rep. Anthony Weiner's junk?

This latest trip down memory lame may be enough to end Weiner's mayoral bid in New York City (he says he won't back down), but it's worth dilating on the larger issues raised by the new revelations. Which include, by the way, not simply more tawdry and true tales of super-elastic selfies and young girls (the glam shot to the right was sent to a 22 year old a year after Weiner had resigned), but the fact that Weiner used the love handle "Carlos Danger." Aye caramba. Mexico, first Nacho Libre and now this. Can you ever forgive us?

Over the weekend in The Washington Post (before the Weiner scandal cranked up again), Kathleen Parker wrote an interesting piece about the deeper issues involving Weiner and her former talk-show cohost and current candidate for New York City comptroller, Eliot Spitzer. In at least these two cases, Parker argues that we're not talking about sex really:

The current redemption fest, including the San Diego mayor who harassed women in his employ and thinks an apology ought to wrap things up (and, lest we forget, Bill Clinton’s imbroglio with an intern), isn’t about hypocrisy or crassness or cavalier apologies.

It’s about power.

One could argue that Weiner was merely flirting with Twitter “friends” who, presumably, were interested in his bona fides. Then again, Weiner was a congressman, not a frat boy on spring break. There really is, or should be, a distinction.

And though purchased sex implies a mutually agreeable, if illegal, transaction, the power differential between an elected official and a prostitute is explicit.

But turn on the TV and you’ll hear that no one really cares anymore, because it’s “only sex.”

If ever two words were mismatched.

In the case of Spitzer, any power differential was compounded by his willingness to prosecute prostitutes to the fullest extent of the law both here and abroad. That for me is the real problem that deserves to be addressed in the public sphere. Spitzer has at least indicated that he's changed his view on prostitution in the wake of his scandal and his attempt to make a political comeback. That hardly means he is, or should be, a shoe-in for the job. (Read this National Review article that is sympathetic to Kristin Davis, the madam who ended up serving jail time for procuring Spitzer's prostitutes. Davis, who ran for governor of New York and has a background in stock trading, is also running for NYC comptroller.)

With Weiner, I'm not convinced that the issue is power as much as self-delusion. In a new press conference that can be watched here, Weiner seems to be reenacting the same sort of demeanor he had back in 2011 before he had to admit the crotch shots clogging up the interwebs were his own. There was a real masher element to his behavior that might not have been illegal but spoke to serious lapses in judgment at the very least. Parker is certainly right in insisting that there should be a "distinction" between what is OK for a frat boy and what's OK for a member of Congress. That these new pics date from a year after his political world collapsed - a time when he was supposedly getting his act back together - makes him appear either a total liar or totally delusional. In other words, perfectly fit for the job of mayor of New York City. At the same time, his near-complete lack of vision for the city is arguably as stunning as his crotch shots. He pushes the "view from the stoop" shtick in all his ads and campaign materials but apart from unintentionally ironic proposals such as "track sex offenders using GPS technology," most of his "64 ideas to keep New York the Capital of the Middle Class" are less than inspiring (though many of them are expensive).

It's always true that the less we see of politicians, the better. When it comes to Anthony Weiner, that's even more the case than usual. 

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  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    The office bar open late?

  • Warrren||

    This dick ain't gonna post itself!

  • Bruce Majors||

    More of Weiner's bedroom photos:

    http://bighomocon.blogspot.com.....iners.html

  • Archduke Trousersenthusiast||

    James Gandolfini’s estate tax bill — estimated at a whopping US$30-million

  • Sevo||

    "Phil Mickelson loses 61% of his Scottish winnings to taxes"
    http://ftw.usatoday.com/2013/0.....hip-taxes/
    Hey, it's not $30m, but it's not bad for a week's work.

  • Dweebston||

    The rich don't pay their fair share. And by their share, I mean their share of what's left over after they forfeit taxes on the gross. The rich need to be made to fork over the rest of it.

  • robc||

    Im surprised he is still in CA.

    13%? For work done out of state?

  • Warrren||

    Ron Mexico and Carlos Danger: Together they fight crime!

  • Sevo||

    So are Weiner and Filner competing?

  • A Serious Man||

    Is their archenemy Mateo Scourge?

  • C. Anacreon||

    Or The Great Douchebaggio?

  • Agammamon||

    Ron Mexico! and Carlos Danger! Together they fight crime . . . as Axe-Cop!

  • Dweebston||

    Somebody's a Dr. McNinja fan.

  • ||

    What an arrogant dick.

  • C. Anacreon||

    You can tell that through the pixelation?

  • Ray||

    It appears to me the only danger is that his lady friends won't feel anything...

  • A Serious Man||

    I never understood why any woman would fine a disembodied penis sexy.

  • William of Purple||

    The same reason people watch Dual Penetration videos.

  • A Serious Man||

    Which is?

  • William of Purple||

    I don't know.

  • Aresen||

    Make your own Carlos Danger name:

    http://www.slate.com/articles/.....einer.html

    I got Salvador Trouble

    or

    José Enrique Jeopardy

    Really, I would prefer Double Jeopardy. (or Final Jeopardy)

  • A Serious Man||

    Double Jeopardy would be the name of your debut avant-garde porn film.

  • ||

    Double Jeopardy would be the name of your debut avant-garde porn film.

    If you're going to have double in the title you need to have twins in the film.

  • Agammamon||

    Twins DPing women! Someone's gonna be willing to pay for that.

  • ||

    I'm sure it already exists. There's just the tiny problem of finding it.

    And because it's appropriate

  • ||

    Hmm, the squirrels ate the text after my link indicating it's innocent and not something you'll need eye bleach for.

  • Agammamon||

    Marcelino Dynamite!

  • William of Purple||

    Gilberto Smash!

  • ||

    Fernando Badass or Feliciano Trouble.

  • ||

    Inigo Catastrophe

  • C. Anacreon||

    Archibald Dilemma

  • PapayaSF||

    Armando Jeopardy

    Rand Paul = Salvator Gamble
    Mitt Romney = Armando Scourge
    Barack Obama = Omar Scourge
    Charles Schumer = Lorenzo Violence
    Jerry Brown = Manuel Smash

  • William of Purple||

    ITZ BROKEN

    Anthony Wiener = Santiago Risk

  • fish_remote||

    Mitt Romney = Armando Scourge
    Barack Obama = Omar Scourge

    I KNEW THERE WAS A FAMILY CONNECTION.....

    The Scourge Bros....

  • Warrren||

    Adolf Hitler is MANUEL CALAMITY!

  • ||

    Changing my first name to its shortened form changed both of the names generated somehow. Seems kinda random.

  • fish_remote||

    "Victor Violence"!

    Maybe not the best for making a random hook up!

    But I did type in Mr. Aresen and my real name popped out.

    I am confuse.

  • SugarFree||

    Eduardo Verboten, for the Argentinean Nazi in all of us.

  • ||

    Efraín Badass

  • Agammamon||

    ". . .his near-complete lack of vision for the city . . ."

    Is the only thing that makes him remotely worth electing.

  • Agammamon||

    Don't complain about pols who lack vision - its the ones who *have* visions that tend to screw everything up.

  • Knarf Yenrab (prev. An0nB0t)||

    +1

    If my employees bragged about their utopian vision for my money, I'd have to let them go. Of course, my employees also don't make a living by promising me that I can live off of someone else's wealth.

  • Dweebston||

    You already do! Your employees' skills are their wealth, which you ruthlessly exploit in pursuit of profit!

    Also, dat name. I larfed.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Today's "Nothing Left to Cut" story:

    Hurt Locker: No proof U.S. life-saving anti-IED program ever implemented in Afghanistan

    The U.S. military in Afghanistan spent $32 million to prevent Improvised Explosive Device attacks after more than 600 troops were killed, but brass has no proof the pricey effort was effective — or even implemented.

    A shocking investigation by the top U.S. watchdog in Afghanistan discovered the military doesn’t know if the anti-IED devices are functioning or were even installed.

    These “culvert denial systems” are supposed to safeguard U.S. troops and Afghan civilians from the explosive devises, but a report by the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction said “it is unclear whether or not culvert denial systems are functioning or, in some cases, where even installed.”

    The IG already found two Afghan contractors who billed the U.S. government $1 million for the installation of 250 such devices, but then never completed the work or did it haphazardly.


    $32 million. The US government paid $32 million for grating in Afghanistan. Grates which do not work or were never installed.

  • Dweebston||

    Because digging under the sides of roads, I mean... Christ, I hope the insurgents never discover this new thing called shovels.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    I just hope no one is charged for leaking our critical plans to put grates over drains. You know, if TERRAHISTS get shovels or propane torches, it will damage critical national security assets.

  • wingnutx||

    Digging a hole under the side of the road is a lot different from having a ready-made hole six feet in diameter that you can stack explosives in.

    Capping culverts really does help (my battalion installed scores of them in Iraq), but if this contractor ripped us off then by all means go after them.

  • Agammamon||

    Not just that contractor - the Army doesn't even know whether or not *your* unit installed them.

  • Dweebston||

    You're right, of course, but a story I read has insurgents putting devices under the road a ways back from the culvert, precisely where a few trucks might be if the convoy has to scout out a culvert before they pass over it. So (at least according to that story) they're already digging.

  • PapayaSF||

    Back in the pre-Clinton days, feminists told us that sexual harassment was about power, and that even a consensual relationship between an employer and subordinate was per se unacceptable. As soon as Clinton got caught harassing and even raping women, all that went out the window. Suddenly the women could not be trusted, and it was all "just sex," anyway. Gloria Steinem even promoted what became known as the "one grope rule." It was one of the more blatant examples of political double standards that I've ever seen.

  • Ebriosa||

    I'm a feminist and I hate feminists as soon as politics get involved. It's like any good sense of equality they might have goes out the window. Nope, team blue trumps all!

  • PapayaSF||

    Some of the verses I published here at the time:

    There once was a man in DC,
    with a boner he thought girls should see.
    He tweeted a pic,
    but made a wrong click,
    and from now on a punchline he'll be.

    There once was a Congressman Weiner,
    whom everyone thought was much keener.
    Sent a pic of his dick
    to a chick with a click,
    now the laughter can hardly get meaner.

    A congressman, now very nervous,
    knows he's done his new wife a disservice.
    With his dick on display,
    he can no longer say,
    that it's all just constituent service.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    those are pretty good
    i can only do haiku
    easier to write

  • Killazontherun||

    If this were about his drive for power, Carlos Danger! Danger! would be the guy to go to when a party hack wants someone to get rid of inconvenient records that implicate them in illegal activity. Who ever did that, as scummy as they may be, is truly in it for the power game. They are likely too focused on that game to have a sex life better than an angry tortoise. Doubt if that person is kinky in anyway. That person is all about power. Weiner is just a dumb fuck with no instincts for knowing who'll be discreet and who wont. It's not about power, it's about busting a nut up into some cutie with a pussy more juicy than the Frigidaire that you married.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Bribery serves as life-support for Chinese hospitals

    Bribery is the lubricant that helps keep China's public hospitals running, and the health system would struggle to function without illegal payments to poorly paid doctors and administrators, say medical practitioners and industry experts.

    They say government policies are partly to blame for a system in which doctors and other staff expect to be paid extra fees to perform operations and take kickbacks from pharmaceutical firms and medical-equipment suppliers.

    The corruption stems largely from doctors' low base salaries, which are set in line with a pay scale for government workers. Hospitals can pay bonuses but, given public hospitals are strapped for cash, compensation is usually low, say doctors and industry experts.

    A doctor fresh out of medical school in Beijing earns about 3,000 yuan ($490) a month including bonuses -- roughly the same as a taxi driver. A doctor with 10 years experience makes around 10,000 yuan a month, according to Peter Chen, chief executive of privately run Oasis International Hospital in Beijing.

    You mean dealing with sick people for the People's Glorious Revolution is not its own reward? These counterrevolutionaries actually want MORE money?

    Chairman Mao would have a sadface.

  • Warrren||

    Prices will find a way.

  • KDN||

    Bribery is the lubricant that helps keep China's public hospitals running

    Fixed.

  • ||

    Anthony Weiner: yet another classic example of how we're giving the power to manage our lives to pure psychopaths. Can we dispense with the delusion that we're electing great leaders who can solve complex problems? We're not. we're just going into voting booths and yanking levers to stroke the egos of delusional bastards who get off on being admired any way they can. And that's as many double entendres as I can fit in that sentence this late in the evening.

  • PapayaSF||

    Not quite. Vast numbers of people yank the levers to stroke their own egos. Voting shows they are in the Good People Tribe who are against the Bad People Tribe. It feels nicely intellectual and satisfying and obviates the need to actually do anything nice for any actual humans nearby.

  • ||

    Ok, so it's like a great, big, political, circle jerk. Still, we all know who gets the face shot in the end. If that's not a mental picture that discourages participation, I don't know what is.

  • PapayaSF||

  • ||

    I am sure there is a 'stranger danger!' joke in there somewhere.

  • LarryA||

    Wiener Idea #21: Roll Out Small Business Adjudication Vans
    Small businesses get hammered by tickets, surprise inspections, and demands for information from city agencies all the time. The engines of our economy often have sand thrown in the gears by an overbearing bureaucracy. To make life easier the city should visit shopping strips with mobile offices that let shopkeepers argue fines, settle tickets, and file papers without having to shutter their stores for the day.

    Uh. Really? Adjudication vans? I mean, thinking off the top of my head here, couldn't you just rein in the overbearing bureaucracy and tell the agencies to quit screwing over businesses?

    Oh, yeah. NYC.

  • ||

    And though purchased sex implies a mutually agreeable, if illegal, transaction, the power differential between an elected official and a prostitute is explicit.

    What a load of crap. And if Spitzer were to contract with someone to build a house for him, would that be about power? The reason Spitzer is such a sociopathic piece of shit is because he gleefully and aggressively prosecuted people for doing something he himself engaged in all the time. It's like the people throwing medical mj operators in prison for years that spent their youth famously stoned out of their gourd.

    Is sex about power? What does this even mean? Who is on the bigger power trip, the president who can't keep it in his pants or the chubby unattractive intern who is banging that president? The elected official who uses call girls or the call girl who gets to live in an expensive Manhattan flat and hobnob with the connected merely in exchange for putting out? Saying sex is about power is simply feminist reframing to make women the ever-constant victims. This isn't about the fact that you have a vagina, Ms Parker, it's about the fact the people like Spitzer are total fucking scumbags.

  • A Serious Man||

    The funny thing about feminists and liberals is that despite constantly harping about conservative prudishness they are the ones that want to make sex political so that you can't have a right to enjoy it if you don't submit to their doctrine.

    And if Spitzer were to contract with someone to build a house for him, would that be about power?

    Yes. ALL TRADE IS EXPLOITATIVE COMRADE. Now report to your local commissar for a lesson in capitalist exploitation.

  • ||

    Does this involve aversion therapy with hot call girls?

  • Warrren||

    Insertion therapy.

  • A Serious Man||

    The State Committee on Education and Rehabilitation has procured several New Soviet Women to stand-in as 'call-girls' for the purpose of this treatment.

    Comrade Lena Dunham and Comrade Sandra Fluke will be with you shortly along with your instructor Commissar Maddow.

  • ||

    Stop, stop, stop!!! I love Big Brother, I love Big Brother!!!

  • A Serious Man||

    Big Brother? Why you cisgender capitalist pig!

    Comrade Dunham will now strip naked and explain why gender is a construct of the patriarchy.

  • ||

    Forgive me, Big S/Hister! Don't bring in Comrade Napolitano.

  • ||

    Big Shyster is right!

  • John C. Randolph||

    if Spitzer were to contract with someone to build a house for him, would that be about power?

    Well, if it's Spitzer we're talking about, I wouldn't put it past him to get someone to build him a free house for a plea bargain.

    -jcr

  • PapayaSF||

    Zing!

  • ||

    http://pjmedia.com/blog/al-sha.....ecret-aid/

    We get to hear about this from al-shabaab via twitter? Most transparent adminis.....ah fuckit.

  • ||

    Is it always this slow at night? It is rare that I cant sleep so I dont know.

    Here is a fun one. Ultra leftie wants to silence disagreement.

    http://danfromsquirrelhill.wor.....ani-perry/

  • ||

    It's mid morning for me, and yes.

  • A Serious Man||

    It's 12:50 on the west coast and I'm watching Blazing Saddles.

    And in world the police would laugh off the harassment complaint and scold the professor for wasting their time. No doubt the professor thinks the blogger was threatening her by repeatedly mentioning her children.

  • A Serious Man||

    Hedley Lamar: State your crime.

    Bart, dressed as a Klansman: Stampeding cattle.

    Hedley Lamar: That's not much of a crime.

    Bart: Through the Vatican?

    Hedley Lamar: Kin-ky.

  • ||

    Just remember, rape jokes are never, ever funny.

    Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?

    Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

    Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.

    Applicant: I like rape.

    NOT FUNNY!!!

  • A Serious Man||

    Taggart: We'll work up a number six on them!

    Hedley Lamar: A Number 6? I'm not familiar with that one.

    Taggart: That's where we go riding into town a whopping and a wopping and beating every living thing to within an inch of its life. Except the women, of course.

    Hedley Lamar: You spare the women?

    Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit outta them at the Number Six dance later on.

  • wef||

    The sociopaths observe that the sociopath clinton could get away with what he did, including the rape of Juanita Broaddrick. Down the memory hole with the lies, the rape, the impeachment, the disbarment, and on and on. Don't be surprised if younger monsters like weiner feel ever safer venturing out beyond the fraud of bourgeois respectability.

  • MappRapp||

    Sometimes man, you jsut have to roll with it.

    www.GotMy-Anon.tk

  • ||

    "Roll that beautiful bean footage" would have been much more appropriate for this thread.

  • Jon Lester||

    This is just extraneous proof of something I already knew; Weiner does not care that the rent is too damn high.

  • Ted S.||

    The objections to Spitzer shouldn't be about sex.

    The man was a vile grandstander as AG, not getting convictions but bullying businessmen into settlements. (Much like that "Prescription: Coffee" mug case recently.) Once he was elected Governor, he tried to get the Senate Majority Leader's state police detail to spy on him.

    Spitzer is an evil monster.

  • ||

    Weiner. Spitzer. This is the caliber of men entering politics.

    Clinton. People pay $300 000 to hear him speak. A company (of which my friend is the CFO) paid a shit load to have him come up and speak. Not sure if the "talk" changed anybody's life. I'll bet no.

  • Invisible Finger||

    I'm sure a few ladies in the company were hoping for change.

  • R C Dean||

    I don't think anyone pays Clinton $300K to hear him speak. I think the speaking engagements are largely a pretext for the purchasing his influence.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    I'm really, really looking forward to the, hopefully massiviely public, divorce proceedings.

  • ||

    Her face at the press conference was daggers.

  • KDN||

    I don't know why. After 15 years as a beard you know he's gotta be trying to get it from somewhere.

  • ||

    In between all this, some good news on privacy and guns. There aren't many but it's too see in Canada - of all places.

    http://globalnews.ca/news/7365.....ry-battle/

    Steam must be blowing out of Hobbit Marois's petty ears. Maudit Federalistes!

    And the children?

  • ||

    http://fullcomment.nationalpos.....-registry/

    People with half a brain agree if the comments are any indicator.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    In his press conference, Weiner declared that he would donate the Chinese boat he keeps in New York harbor for the use of New Yorkers: "Other politicians may keep their junk to themselves, but my junk is for the people!"

    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0418.html

  • ||

    It's not just a "lapse in judgement". It's that Weiner seems to have some sort of compulsive desire to show people pictures of his dick.
    You don't keep sending people dick shots even AFTER you are forced to resign from Congress because you sent people dick shots, unless you have some serious OCD about showing people your dick.

    This makes Weiner look like in another life he would have been flashing people in a trenchcoat in Central Park.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    But he obviously doesn't have to do that, thanks to the Internet!

  • Tony||

    While I'm looking forward to New York getting its first lesbian mayor, I do believe a person's sexual habits are his own business, and one is allowed to lie about them. The only difference is the Internet exists and things don't stay private. Rather than act like a bunch of hypocritical Puritans, I'd prefer we evolve our sensibility to deal with this reality, to politely ignoring the accidental exposure of people's private lives. Their embarrassment is punishment enough.

    The question of whether this shows poor judgment and is thus relevant to consider in the election is valid I suppose. But some perspective: just because it's visually confirmed that Anthony Wiener has a penis doesn't make his actions worse than, say, Sen. Vitter. (Republicans really know how to forgive and forget, unless it's gay stuff.)

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    The only Republicans in NY who are politically viable are the fanatical social liberals who want to regulate everything under the sun except abortion. In other states, there's a name for such Republicans: Democrats.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    And the implied bargain with politicians is that they keep their sex lives (and their junk) strictly private. Weiner has some difficulty doing that.

  • Tony||

    It was private. Yeah he apparently can't seem to find ways to get off outside his marriage in ways that can be kept discreet. But the disgraceful behavior, in my opinion, is not in him jacking off on the Internet (which no one here has ever done I'm sure), but in our prurient interest in it. He didn't hurt anyone that I know of. Good manners really does require us to leave the issue as a matter between him and his wife. I understand that is an unachievable ideal.

    And I'm not defending Wiener because I like him as a politician. I think he's pretty useless and wish he would just go away. I just tire of Americans' hypocritical get-the-smelling-salts attitude toward sex.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    You must be discussing some other planet, or a country like Saudi Arabia. America hasn't been a Puritan country for ages.

    In this supposedly prudish, smelling-salts country, you can watch 'sex comedies' not just on cable, but on FCC-regulated network television. This is a country where the star of a children's cartoon can be the butt of an ejaculation joke (11:19 et. seq.):

    http://vimeo.com/60977805

    The only time an adulteress would wear an A on her shirt is if that's the grade she got from her lover.

  • ||

    He can't seem to find ways to get off that don't involve showing anonymous strangers his penis.

    That's why he can't keep it discreet. Anonymous strangers are, by definition, people you don't know, and therefore ought not to trust with pictures of your penis.

  • PapayaSF||

    While I'm looking forward to New York getting its first lesbian mayor

    Ah, Ms. Quinn, known for often screaming at subordinates. Even my liberal Democrat girlfriend thinks she's another bad choice. But I guess sexual orientation and party ID trump all for Tony.

  • R C Dean||

    While I'm looking forward to New York getting its first lesbian mayor, I do believe a person's sexual habits are his own business,

    Note the cognitive dissonance in this sentence.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    He said "his," not "her."

  • Bruce Majors||

    The Libertarian candidate, Michael Sanchez, is way better looking. At least clothed. And I am betting otherwise too, unless he has a disfiguring dermatological issue.

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