Seriously, This Is What's Passing for Liberal Political Discourse These Days

This Obama-fluffing Paul Waldman piece in The American Prospect, titled "The Cool Kids Versus the Squares," is beyond self-parody. Here's how it begins:

When Barack Obama appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon the other night, he walked on stage and gave Fallon a quick pound hug, that handshake/one-arm hug that we cool guys do these days to express a sentiment something like, "It is good to see you again, my friend; we know and like each other, but are not so intimate, nor have been apart so long, that a full two-arm hug is warranted." When I watched it, the first thought that came into my head was, "Mitt Romney has never done that with another man in his life." Which is fine, of course—Romney is 65 years old, and the pound hug really only came along only about 10 or 15 years or so ago. And let's face it, even if he was a lot younger, it's just not his style.

Mitt Romney is many things, but "cool" is not one of them. Barack Obama, on the other hand, is pretty cool.

While I am always tickled to learn a new phrase, a presidential pound hug can go pound sand: What matters is how you govern. It will surprise approximately no one that Paul Waldman was much more critical of the gap between presidential image and performance back when it wasn't his team in the White House. Now, though, with a heavy sigh, this Joe Cool of opinion journalism is being dragged reluctantly back into the political quad:  

So once again, we have to wage a campaign of the cool kids versus the squares. This all started in the 1960s, when people like Rove and Romney watched their contemporaries smoking grass, listening to music with electric guitars, and dancing wildly about with adventurous girls in sheer peasant blouses, and thought to themselves, "Gosh darn it, I hate those guys!"

I can't really improve on Glenn Reynolds' reaction:

SO WHAT MAKES BARACK OBAMA A “COOL KID,” EXACTLY?

The raids on marijuana clinics?

The opposition to gay marriage?

The drone attacks?

The Mom Jeans?

UPDATE: Waldman responds here.

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  • Abdul||

    Romney just picked Arthur Fonzarelli for his VP.

  • ||

    Aaaaaay!

  • Brutus||

    And here I was cheering for Bowser.

  • MSimon||

    The Fonz? A Jewish guy for VP? Where have I heard that one before?

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    When Barack Obama appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon the other night, he walked on stage and gave Fallon a quick pound hug, that handshake/one-arm hug that we cool guys do these days to express a sentiment something like, "It is good to see you again, my friend; we know and like each other, but are not so intimate, nor have been apart so long, that a full two-arm hug is warranted."

    LOL at this nerd. Only this kind of limp-wristed ComiCon refugee would feel the need to give the full communication subtext to a simple physical greeting.

    This is why anti-bullying measures need to be repealed, boys and girls.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Seriously, that cracked me up.

    "Join us next week, where we'll explain the fist pound's significance for males between the ages of 15-40."

  • o3||

    cool = likability = 2d term

    so simple even a birther can comprehende...oops, forgot to hate me sum hispanics

  • sloopyinca||

    oops, forgot to hate me sum hispanics

    What, like the Deporter-In-Chief does every day?

  • John Thacker||

    Hey, it's all about seeming cool. o3, like other Presidential supporters, doesn't care about what you actually do to Hispanics, so long as you seem cool while you're deporting them.

  • John Thacker||

    Kicking them out of the country in a likeable, friendly way. That's what the People want.

  • hk||

    Obama has absolutely no principles. He's so obnoxious.

  • Old Mexican||

    Re: Triple Asshole,

    oops, forgot to hate me sum hispanics


    Nothing says "I Luv You" more to Hispanics than an administration that splits immigrant families apart.

  • o3||

    i cant hear u gringos over the SB1070 protests. habla louder por fa vor

  • Jeff||

    You can't hear over your own mouthbreathing, more like.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    No, what was silly was a aspie goon like Waldman trying to include himself in the cool kids. Squealer was less ingratiating.

  • deified||

    This is why anti-bullying measures need to be repealed, boys and girls.

    Who is more punchable than Paul Waldman? Give me one name. I fucking dare you.

  • ||

    Stanley Fish

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Paul Krugman

  • Ben the Duck||

    Joy Behar

  • Kuwanki||

    Wiener

  • wadikitty||

    The Thing Inexplicably Named Joy is a contender, but Pelosi Galore is also fairly punchable.

  • Bucky||

    Pelosi Galore? wasn't she that villain in that Bond movie with mean looking Oriental 'Top Job' who could kill people with his underwear?

  • Jerryskids||

    It seems a little telling that he felt the need to explain to the reader what a pound hug is - obviously his readers are not cool. I thought for a second there I might be cool since I know what a pound hug is, but then I realized that I have no idea who the fuck Jimmy Fallon is.

  • MSimon||

    Can I settle for the two ounce hug? I'm on a diet.

  • Bucky||

    wow, i'm not alone...
    thought he was a late night talker...

  • Barfman||

    *barf*

  • rts||

    Oscar Wilde could not have said it better.

    Bravo, sir.

  • GILMORE||

    people who think politicians are 'cool' are evil sick people.

    Although I have a small weakness for that dude who wears the boot on his head.

  • Proprietist||

    Vermin Supreme IS pretty cool.

  • hk||

    Lol no.

  • ||

    Barack Obama, on the other hand, is pretty cool.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    This is fucking gold. At first I was annoyed at the full court press in defense of Obama, but if TEAM BLUE is going to provide us with this type of comedy gold, I'm definitely coming around to it. This needs to be read out loud at the Democratic convention.

  • deified||

    I love the fact that the word "fluffing" (which, as far as I know, describes a phenomenon that doesn't actually exist) is now mainstream enough that it can be used without defining it.

    Fucking porn.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Fucking porn.

    Duh. That's the point.

  • JW||

    This needs to be read out loud at the Democratic convention.

    I have no doubt that it will be, ad nauseous.

    Their entire platform is nothing but a series of memes.

  • RBS||

    Welcome to Campaign 2.0.

  • JW||

    Seriously, here their It's morning in America.

  • sloopyinca||

    When you lack the strength to get a baseball to home plate from 60 feet away, bowl like a self-described special olympian, can only drive a golf ball 150 yards and have the same mass as a 2 Liter of Coke, you're probably safer doing the gay-ass bump-hug. It keeps you from wearing a wrist brace all of the time.

  • sloopyinca||

    The drive distance is an educated guess based on what my brother in law related to me from his time commanding the MP unit at Ft Belvoir. I guess he had to estimate since Obama would clear out the driving range and course for several holes of even the MP's protecting him before hitting balls or teeing off so nobody could see how sadly pathetic he was.

  • Carl Pham||

    Dude, I feel confident your brother would appreciate a tad more anonymity in your posting. Or rather, if you insist on putting stuff on the Intertubes that might point back to him, he's going to stop telling you things. Use your head.

  • hk||

    It is not a big deal.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What matters is how you govern.

    And one day, possibly in our lifetime, it will matter at the polls.

  • John Thacker||

    Sigh. One can dream.

  • JW||

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Holy fuckfishing -- as if it wasn't already clear that "cool" as interpreted by wannabe bros is a desperate cry for attention!

    Can we please suffocate the next columnist who tries to make a point of Obama's "coolness" with a "Together We Thrive" t-shirt soaked in Red Bull?

  • alexdroog||

  • Brandon||

    Yeah, so he's not even funny.

  • ||

  • ChrisO||

    I doubt the semi-captive Russian press fawns over Putin this much. Good lord.

    Wasn't the far left supposed to be disenchanted with Obama. Apparently, they're coming back in line just in time for the election.

  • ||

    Of course they are. Was there any doubt?

  • o3||

    none after the 6 month gop clown parade. >now dont bother me while i pray ur gay away

  • ||

    I always knew you were a neocon in disguise. No one real could ever be as stupid as you act.

  • KPres||

    "Wasn't the far left supposed to be disenchanted with Obama?"

    Get with it, you square. Triangulation is sooooooo '90s.

  • ||

    Further proof that Obama is a giant Rorschach test for liberals, an amorphous shape upon which they can project their own image of coolness (one that, of course, they meet as well).

  • Doctor Whom||

    Indeed. The Obots of my acquaintance can't even state his policies correctly, but they're still sure that he espouses the right views.

  • John Thacker||

    If only he had the enlightened views of Dick Cheney on gay marriage and Pat Robertson on marijuana.

  • Juice||

    Nice.

  • KevinP||

    LOL, awesome. Here's a link too: http://articles.nydailynews.co.....e-equality

  • Libertarian||

    Mr. Thacker: Cool, you've just been quoted by Instapundit! Though a warmonger, he's right on a lot of other things.

  • Bucky||

    great!
    now can we focus on the important stuff?
    pssst, (whispering) it sounds like bending, only it begins with an 's' and a 'p'...

  • Peter L||

    Obama is really good at sounding like he is going to do great things for the country. Look at all the wonderful things he has promised.

    The excuse people give for Obama not fulfilling all the promises is "He was stopped by the Republicans in Congress". Nevermind that the Democrats controlled both houses when his term started, and many of the promises he made could have been made by exerting his executive authority.

  • Lar Gand||

    He has warmed up to the executive authority now.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Cool? Obama definitely seems a little nerdy to me, in a pompous ass kind of way.

    Besides, I thought we wanted gravitas in our leaders?

    No kidding, the attempts to rally the troops for Obama have been the worst and most pathetic I remember in my life. It's just weak sauce, and everyone knows why they're focusing on race, class, and celebrity-status issues--because Obama's record is horrific. Good on nothing, bad on everything.

  • ||

    But he's cool, ProL! Because he fist-bumps, or pump-hugs, or something!

    HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Pro Libertate||

    He did successfully do the Vulcan salute. Not everyone can do that.

  • ||

    I can do both the Vulcan salute and the Mork "Nannoo nannoo" bit. I'm not impressed.

  • sarcasmic||

    Dork.

  • ||

    Mork was cool! Paul Waldman said so!

  • sarcasmic||

    You're still a dork.

  • ||

    You're a towel!

  • sarcasmic||

    I have never been called a towel before.
    Especially by a dork.

  • ||

    You're a beaner towel!

  • sarcasmic||

    Wanna get high?

  • ||

    I have no idea what's going on right now.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Pump hugs?

    Ewwwww.

  • sloopyinca||

    I think ^^this^^ might be NFSW.

  • ||

    See, this is why I have to hover over links here. I can never trust any of you.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Apologies - NSFW.

  • juris imprudent||

    So that explains the leg tingle.

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    You clearly have some jealousy issues. Why else would you be talking about Obama's record, instead of his overwhelming, undeniable coolness?

  • Brandon||

    I don't even get how people attribute "coolness" to him. He's nerdy, but doesn't seem overly intelligent, he's awkward, but doesn't seem particularly ingratiating, he's blatantly egotistical, but doesn't seem particularly talented...I just don't get it. To me, he seems like somebody I would see on a tv commercial at 3:30 in the morning telling me how much money he'll get me if I get injured.

  • KPres||

    He isn't particularly "charismatic" anymore either. The speeches are all the same:

    head goes up and to the right...voice crescendos...head goes down and to the right...discrescendo...head up and to the left...crescendo...head down and to the left...discrescendo...

    Wash, rinse, repeat.

  • Barry||

    Is...Is Obama animatronic?

  • Bucky||

    sounds like a possible stand in for Mr. Lincoln at Mouse World...

  • KevinP||

    Let me be perfectly clear ...

  • wadikitty||

    Don't you get it. It's his black half that's cool. His white half is nerdy as fuck.

  • hk||

    Lol nice.

  • ||

    The fact that you want to focus on his record just proves that libertarians are, wait for it....

    RRRAAAAAAACCCCCIISSSSTTT!!!!!!1!!!!11!!

  • Brutus||

    I'm glad we have the cognitive elite to tell us Great Unwashed what's important to look for in a president, like a well-executed pound-hug or a well-ironed pants crease.

  • Ex Nihilo||

    Offtopic:

    Playoffs, Finally?!

    Now is a time to rejoice. College football, the greatest sport on earth, is about to get even better because it finally will have a playoff beginning with the 2014 season. "If this happens," Hancock said, "it will be a seismic change."

  • AuH2O||

    But how will they ensure that there are 4 SEC teams every year?

  • Brandon||

    Alabama, LSU, Georgia, Florida and Auburn will each be in their own division, and their conference schedules will all consist of Kentucky, Vanderbilt, and new SEC members Jacksonville State, Grambling, and the winner of LSU's intramural flag football league. At the end of the season, the top 4 division champions will be selected for the playoffs, while the 5th will be used as evidence that there is no SEC bias, since one of their division winners was left out as well.

  • Pro Libertate||

    SEC bias? You mean, the one where the SEC is actually better at football than other conferences? That bias? That's like the bias observed that objects tend to fall towards the center of the Earth.

  • Zombie Jimbo||

    Can you learn about gravity in the SEC?

  • Government Squid||

    Sure, but they round it off to 10.

  • Barry||

    The SEC just can't play offense.

  • Cavpitalist||

    The games will take care of that.

  • sarcasmic||

    Putin is cool. If Putin were president he would have killed Osama with his own bare hands.

    Obama on the other hand. Not cool.

  • Graphite||

    I've heard that Putin preferred Bush to Obama mostly because of what you could call "cool" character traits which Bush had and Obama doesn't. Basically they're both just puppets, but Bush at least had some understanding of that fact and a sense of humor about it, while Obama projects annoying earnestness and self-importance 100% of the time.

  • ||

    Here's a suggestion: to any TEAM BLUE scum you know, relentlessly dog Obama as being a loser dork, and see how long before the "Obama's cool!" meme comes out, and then fucking destroy it.

  • Ice Nine||

    Barack Obama, on the other hand, is pretty cool.

    Um, if you say so. But he throws a ball like a girl.

  • ||

    Stephen Hawking can pitch a better throw than this dunce.

  • Government Squid||

    Rides a bike with more dignity, too.

  • Today's Tom Sawyer||

    Please. Obama is the worst kind of self-deluded fool: band nerd who thinks he's cool because he smoked pot once with his older cousin. Paul Waldman's just one of the other band nerds who looks up to him.

  • ||

    As a former band nerd, I take offense at the comparison.

  • Randian||

    Because of how devastatingly accurate it is?

  • ||

    Hey man, if you saw how many steampunk girls I had cheering for me when I played Pokerface on my accordion at that charity coffeehou- okay, I'm starting to see your point.

  • Waldschatten||

    Band nerds are the picture of cool compared to this guy.

  • Restoras||

    C'mon, Obama's got a mean, mean stride!

  • Proprietist||

    To their credit, the commenters at the Prospect are all laughing at/mocking the article too.

  • Brutus||

    If anyone remembers Gulliver's travel to Lilliput, you'll recall that the royal court there selected its ministers and viziers through an elaborate session of limbo.

    Not even Swift could have foreseen the idiocy of how liberals deem their leaders worthy.

  • Old Mexican||

    Mitt Romney is many things, but "cool" is not one of them. Barack Obama, on the other hand, is pretty cool.


    Nothing says cool more than sending robot airplanes to blow brown people up.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Frankly, how does this not play to Romney's credit? Yes, he's not going to be a celebrity president. How is that not an immediate improvement?

    Leaving aside, of course, the nonstatists' concerns about Romney.

  • Jeff||

    Right. At least a President Romney would be held to account for something like, oh, executing an American citizen without due process, if only because he didn't seem so damned cool while doing it.

  • John Thacker||

    Frankly, I view it as an advantage if a President doesn't have glamor that blinds people to his real policies.

    Obama's political talents makes it easy for him to pander (like other successful Presidents.) Romney's poor skill at pandering (he doesn't do it more than Obama, he's just so transparent) is better for the country.

    Better an emperor than everyone can tell has no clothes than one that's too cool for anyone to point it out.

  • Randian||

    Nothing says cool more than sending robot airplanes to blow brown people up.

    Let's cut the race-baiting.

  • Old Mexican||

    Re: Randian,

    Let's cut the race-baiting.


    Makes the idea of a president bent on bringing people together that more disingenuous and hypocritical, R.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Makes the idea of a president bent on bringing people together that more disingenuous and hypocritical

    I thought his shameless pandering against the kulaks wealthy already exposed that.

  • Randian||

    Killing people does that, OM. Invoking their race in a way to look like a cool, urban leftist isn't what I thought you were all about.

  • Brandon||

    Interesting. What about trying to shame someone by calling him "Urban."

  • ||

    In this context, urban parses for me as "hipster douchebag", which should be shamed at every opportunity.

  • ||

    Obama is drone striking Europe and Russia too?

    Damn, maybe he is cool.

  • Enjoy Every Sandwich||

    It's a sad world when President Urkel sets the standard for what is "cool". The word "cool" should be retired except as a description of temperature.

  • ||

    Mr. Waldman misses the distinction between the incidental behavior of those actually describable as "cool", and the desperate imitation of those behaviors by those who will *never* be described as cool.

  • Loki||

    Hmmm... Yet another lib-tard pundit with a punchable face. Andrew Rosenthal and E.J. Dionne yesterday, now this fuckwit. It can't be just a coincidence.

  • Restoras||

    It's not a coincidence. Politicians, pundits, and professional, revolving-door bureacrats are 100% revenge of the fucking nerds. Every loser in high school or college that just knew he was smarter and better than everyone else is in DC pacticing politics, writing about politics, and arbitrarily fucking up the lives of everyone else with regulations just because they can.

  • RBS||

    So true.

  • ||

    So what you're telling me is that at least 50% of the commentariat here should be in DC fucking people in the ass? But something holds us back. Some kind of guiding principal or something?

  • Brandon||

    Being able to distinguish between the word "Principal" and "Principle" helps. For some of us.

  • ||

    D'oh.

    Well isn't MY face red.

  • John C. Randolph||

    Meanwhile, those who actually are smarter and better than their classmates are busy making a living and minding their own business.

    -jcr

  • Old Mexican||

    So once again, we have to wage a campaign of the cool kids versus the squares.


    Or the Mean Girls versus the good girls. Or the Jocks versus the geeks. Or any other type of worthless struggle between people who are too much in love with themselves versus everybody else.

  • Bucky||

    just wondering where the 90%ers fit in?

  • ||

    This Obama-fluffing Paul Waldman piece...

    Very nice, Matt. You have a true gift.

  • Eric S.||

    "So once again, we have to wage a campaign of the cool kids versus the squares"

    Aren't the "cool kids" usually the group that likes to party; blow off class; beat up the nerds; cheat on tests; etc?

    And yet, the "squares" are the ones who work hard; spend time in the library studying to learn more than required; do volunteer work; join debate, business, and science clubs; etc.

    And which group would we want our President to come from?

  • ||

    Obviously we want him to come from the cool group. We've had like 100 years of squares running the show. Now it's time for like, Black Jesus or Santa Claus or Ryan Reynolds to like, be president or something.

    Obama 2012!!!

    /retarded liberal

  • Bucky||

    Obama / Biden
    We Know Better

  • Pope Jimbo||

    Does this mean that Romney will tap John Hughes as his campaign manager?

    No one can show the venal side of cool kids like him.

    I see something like the President's Club. Where a bunch of misfits have to spend a Saturday morning in a precinct headquarters. They are monitored by Nancy Pelosi who keeps berating them at every chance.

    The entire nation will swoon at the loveable losers.

  • Apple||

    I like John Hughes as his campaign manager, maybe Reagan could be his running mate.

  • ||

    I think the White House is a pretty cool guy. Eh pound hugs and doesnt afraid of anything.

  • Eric S.||

    What??? Where did you learn English?

  • BakedPenguin||

    meme.

    (SFW)

  • Randian||

    I like most memes, but that one sucks.

  • Kuwanki||

    Brandeis, obviously

  • mr simple||

    nice

  • sloopyinca||

    Detroit athlete goes full-fucking Kenny Powers in New Jew York.

  • RBS||

    Wow, there is a lot of retarded in that article. I think Mr. Young might have some anger issues...

  • sloopyinca||

    I think we all knew that after he threw his bat at an ump like it was a battle ax a few years ago.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    "You're fucking out! (of shekels)"

  • The Immaculate Trouser||

    Anyone else remember when the left hated the "frat boy President"? Because I'm pretty sure that party boy fighter pilot is a lot "cooler" (if you care about that sort of thing) than some law flunky prof.

    I think the question weighing on all our minds is whether our President is someone you'd like to have a beer with.

  • ||

    Cool is coded language for black.

  • sarcasmic||

    He plays basketball. He's black and he plays basketball.

    What could be any cooler than that?

  • RBS||

    Sometimes he wears sunglasses!

  • Chupacabra||

    "What could be any cooler than that?"

    How about someone that doesn't dribble the ball over their heads, like a 5 year old?

  • Zeb||

    So Obama's only half cool then.

  • Doctor Whom||

    That's already gone down the memory hole.

  • AZ||

    It's a strategy with two objectives:
    1. prop up their guy with a phony appeal to coolness that might make hipsters remember which day election day is
    2. attempt to redefine cool so that the pundits themselves are not quite such horrific try-hard herbs.

  • Zeb||

    If Bush had kept drinking an doing blow, he'd have been cool. Finding religion and cleaning up your act is not cool.

  • Carl Pham||

    Nonsense. I'd like to have a beer with a hot girl who is mesmerized by my (to be honest for a moment) very ordinary wit. Would I then want to vote her into the Presidency and have her appointing crotchedy old Supreme Court Justices who are going to have the power to rummage around in my life for the next 60 years? Blech.

    The last thing anyone with a brain wants is a President who's a regular guy, because regular guys are clowns, even if they're fun.

    What you want for President is some kind of inhuman robot guy who never cracks a smile or a joke, doesn't need to eat or sleep or fuck, lives at his desk, and gets enormous jollies out of balancing budgets, keeping track of where every ship in the navy is every moment of the day, and figuring out how easing this or that regulation can lower the price of gas $0.02 at the pump. This is almost the direct opposite of cool by anyone's definition.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    So, you mean Paul Ryan?

  • Bucky||

    he's under-short for that ride...

  • Cult of Personality||

    I'm sorry but since they're the ones who are coming up with this retarded analogy in the first place....Weren't the "squares" the kids that were honest, studied hard, worked hard, respected other people, and had grand aspirations?

  • Tonio||

    Am I the only one whot thinks that Waldman has a totally punchable face?

  • sloopyinca||

    As a matter of fact, Loki said it 15 minutes ago.

  • ||

    This has already been covered, Tonio.

  • ||

    Fuck you, Ken!

  • Tonio||

    Sorry, guys. I should have just searched the page for "punch" instead of trying to read everything.

  • sloopyinca||

    Exactly. Now put the dunce hat back on and go sit in the corner for 20 minutes.

  • ||

    Not this year!

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Nothing tops Dionne's mug from yesterday.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    I tried to read his rebuttal. But he is too much of a turd burglar for me to retain focus for a whole paragraph.

  • Restoras||

    From the comments...

    Obama is "cool" in the sense that the guy with the most elaborate costume at comic-con is "cool". Which is not cool at all.
  • Pro Libertate||

    Whoa. That's good.

  • ||

    Obama's so cool because he's such an elite athlete. THREE FUCKING PULLUPS!

  • RBS||

    I was really hoping this was a video.

  • ||

    It's too bad, isn't it? I'd love to see how much he has to flail around to get over the bar.

  • RBS||

    I'm sure it was bad. It's pretty sad that doing 3 pullups somehow makes you cool to these people. But not just that, he's so cool he banged out 3 whole pullups and then made a speech.

  • BurdenofGovt||

    Obama is so cool? Look at the pic of him throwing out the first pitch. First, he doesn't use the rubber of the pitching mound correctly - when pitching from the stretch, you don't stand directly on top of the rubber, you put your foot next to it to push off. I would think a "cool" kid would have proper form. Second, I notice the distinct overlap of his top teeth over his bottom lip - otherwise known as the "white man's overbite." The white man's overbite is most often seen when an uncoordinated, uncool guy is trying to dance and he is so unathletic and uncool he employs the WMO during intense bouts of concentration (picture a 50 year old dude trying to do the electric slide for the first time at his daughter's wedding). Reason selected a pic that makes Obama look decidedly uncool and THAT IS HILARIOUS!!

  • Proprietist||

    Unlike Obama, Dirty Harry was truly cool, and I wouldn't want him as my cop - much less my president.

  • tulip||

    Waldman clearly never got to sit at the cool kids table in junior high. he thinks this is his revenge. Sigh, he still doesn't get it.

  • Brandon||

    He watched a lot of John Hughes movies, and he has spent 30 years telling himself in the mirror that by not being one of the cool kids, he's really just being himself, which makes him one of the cool kids.

  • KPres||

    For God's sake, he used the word "square". A term from, literally, 60-fucking-years ago.

  • ||

    Now, just to clarify, are "fucking-years" measured differently from regular ones?

  • Bucky||

    i'm picturing the New Black Panther's reminder for election day...
    "Be there or, be Square!"

  • The Other Kevin||

    This all started in the 1960s, when people like Rove and Romney watched their contemporaries smoking grass, listening to music with electric guitars, and dancing wildly about with adventurous girls in sheer peasant blouses, and thought to themselves, "Gosh darn it, I hate those guys!"

    As opposed to someone who sends the DEA after those grass-smoking contemporaries and has them thrown in jail.

  • KPres||

    Yep, and the thing is, being "cool" the way Waldman is now claiming he meant it makes it even worse. Obama throws them in jail without even getting excited about it. Another host of innocent lives ruined...meh, just another day at the office.

    He's so cool.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Mitt Romeny from a reasonably well-to-do family became fucking filthy rich. That is cool. And, I'm a girl, so I would know.

  • sticks||

    Apparently he meant cool, not cool cool???

    http://prospect.org/article/co.....-continued

  • Ben the Duck||

    Apparently he meant cool, not cool cool???

    I haven't seen backpedaling that frenzied since last year's Bizarro Tour de France.

  • Enjoy Every Sandwich||

    He should warm up before backpedaling like that. He could pull a muscle.

  • ||

    Too fuckin funny.

  • ||

    That entire article amounts to, once again, it's okay when Our Team does it.

  • KPres||

    Ohhhh...he meant cool as in laid-back! So how the fuck does the pound-hug signify that?

  • KPres||

    Wait a minute...I see now. Go to any violent prison wing and you'll never see them pound-hugging. Nope. Not once.

  • Zeb||

    I always figured that the cool kids were the people I liked and the uncool were those I didn't. No one told me I was supposed to aspire to the approval of a bunch of douchebags.

  • NoVAHockey||

    Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool

  • ||

    This from the comments section for the article was great:

    Cool people don't go into politics at all, because cool people don't presume to tell others how to live their lives. By that standard, Obama might be the least cool person on the planet.

  • Mike G||

    Jesus, this is about how hanging with JIMMY FALLON makes the leader of the free world cool?

    Because Joe Piscopo won't return Obama's calls?

  • Broseph of Invention||

    Have you read his schizo response? Guys, he meant "cool" as in demeanor. It's not that the bro hug is bro-cool, it's that it's calm and measured and smooth - THAT kind of cool. Just like the kids in the '60's; sure they were hip, but that's not the cool he was talking about. It's that they were mellow. And when he compares "cool" to "square", he's not saying "cool" as in "the opposite of square", though he can see how you misunderstood him. It's all cool, though!

  • radar||

    Seriously, who the fuck buys this? He literally titled his piece "Cool Kids Vs. Squares", and then claims that he simply meant "cool" as in a calm, calculating, aloof manner? What a fucking bald-faced liar.

  • KPres||

    And by that definition, how does Obama have any more of "cool" demeanor than Mitt Romney, whom he accused of not being cool? I can imagine Obama getting all riled up long before Mittens.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    He's Kool (menthal) cool, cool cool.

  • NL_||

    I thought the lefty storyline was that smart and thoughtful Democrats had all the right ideas but were too wooden and intelligent for the stupid little people to vote for them, while idiots like Bush and Reagan got elected for being friendly and likeable despite horrible ideas.

  • ||

    It's different when they do it.

  • Bilwick||

    There's nothing cooler than statism. Thinking your life and property belong to yourself is Nowheresville, daddio. You pro-freedom squares need to get hep.

  • JeremyR||

    Statism is about power over others, which is much cooler about power over only yourself

  • phillyjim||

    Obama throws like a girl. That's about as cool as a pocket protector.

  • ||

    Teddy Roosevelt is looking up from hell, and laughing his burning ass off.

  • slugbottom||

    Don't tell Paul but: the first rule of cool is never call yourself cool.

  • TheInverseAgonist||

    Reading Waldron's tenuous reply -- really, that's what makes Obama so hard to parody... that he's too cool? -- brings to mind a Robert Heinlein quote:

    "Man is not a rational animal, he is a rationalizing animal."

  • ||

    I am so late and so not cool but cannot resist posting this Homestar Runner classic on the subject of coolness.

    "I'd be so cool, that even if you were a dude, I'd still call at you like you was a lady."

  • ||

    "What's not cool about giving you nightmares?"

    I take everything back about his majesty's coolness.

  • Juice||

    I'm so glad that cartoon thing went away. It was painfully unfunny, like Jimmy Fallon.

  • Restoras||

    The walk back is precious, precious, tears-of-my-monocle-polishing-slave children gold.

    He was eviscerated in the comments of his own freakin' post and he isn't man enough to admit he got completely pwan'd. What a douche.

  • KPres||

    This is the best one:

    "How cool is Obama really?

    He's always reminded me of sort of a black Mr. Bean."

  • ||

    A metrosexual nerd is cool, so says a metrosexual nerd. Got it.

    President Urkel. That is how I will refer to him from now on.

  • rose||

    Look at pictures from college of Rove, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Bush, Ford they were the cool guys. Look at the jealous squares' pictures from college Clinton, Carvill, Carter, Axelrod, Gore, Begala, ballet major Rahm and the women Albright, Big Sis, Reno should I go on?

  • Juice||

    Clinton was a long-haired bearded hippy in college.

  • Juice||

    Oh here's a Hillary college pic.

    http://www.alinskydefeater.com.....-young.jpg

  • meh130||

    Excellent observations. But it is worse than that. Waldman is obviously not very intelligent. If he were, he would know "cool" is relative. "Cool" is also in the eye of the beholder. Based on what little history we have of Obama, he was never in with the "in crowd" (i.e., "cool") in high school, at Occidental, or at Columbia. The only place he apparently got his "cool" on was at Harvard, where he was the Editor of the Law Review. Wait, a second, aren't law students at Hahvaad, and especially students on the Law Review ... wait, Editor of the Law Review, well, aren't they kinda ... no really "square"?

    The truth is, this is partly liberal projection. People claimed Bill Clinton was "cool" too. Bill, the self admitted "fat kid in the band" in high school ... and desperately trying to make up for it ever since.

    But notice I said "partly". This is also an attempt to reframe a strange decision of Obama to make a complete fool of himself, and make the largest office in the world, the American Presidency, incredibly small, by doing some beatnik come rap skit.

    Make no mistake. Journolist lives. There is still a concerted effort to drive certain memes into the broader press, including Internet sites frequented by tech savvy twenty-somethings. Obama fears the GSA scandal, so Jeff Neely is reframed as a "average federal worker" who "did nothing wrong" by ZDNet.

  • JeremyR||

    This makes sense when you realize that another really cool thing for young men under 40 to do is watch "My Little Pony", a cartoon aimed at pre-teen girls.

    And no, I'm not making this up.

  • dave72||

    Waldman's definition of cool/reserved reminds me of Chauncey Gardner, the ultimate cool political advisor. The fact that limp-armed Obama can't throw a baseball 60 feet in his mommy jeans doesn't make him "cool", it makes him a wussy socialist. His bowling score and golf score are identical, just over 100, and too weak to even qualify for the Special Olympics he demeaned.

  • Zingotooo||

    That dude looks cool!

    www.Gotta-Be-Anon.tk

  • Paul Waldman||

    I think Obama is a pretty cool guy. Eh kills osmaa and doesnt afraid of anything.

  • LibertyShovel||

    Knucklehead Waldman missed the point entirely with his response:

    "Obviously, Obama goes on Jimmy Fallon's show because he's trying to convince young people that he's still sympatico with them and they should get out and work for him like they did four years ago."

    Wtf, does that have to do with the principles through which Obama governs? Nothing. This is why Waldman's post was brainless in the first place.

  • Terrance||

    It will surprise approximately no one that Paul Waldman was muchhttp://www.mbtinnl.com/ more critical of the gap between presidential image

  • norar||

    Cool guys certainly do not bow to Saudi chieftains http://images.quickblogcast.co.....ma_bow.jpg

    I understand that Obama's spin brigade would want us to discuss Obama coolness rather than the latest reports on rather tepid ecomonic performance. It also may be a sign that Obama is loosing the younger voters, so Obamamedia brings in the old schtick again.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    If anybody's arguing that Obama is cool, it's them; it's just that they want voters to think that's a reason to vote against him, whereas I'd argue that it isn't a good reason to vote either way.

    Waldman does a poor job trying to reinvent his usage of the word "cool" in his response to Welch.

  • Lorider||

    Perhaps mr Downgrade thinks if he deports more illegals he'll be able to claim himself "tough on protecting the border" so "folks" will think he's not so bad...

    while he continues to destroy the foundations of the country.

    Perhaps?

  • Cosmo||

    sounds like someone has a serious mancrush

  • Dr. Thaddeus Tingleberry||

    By gum, 5 people read the Waldman piece and this pointless inadvertent advertisement has same may make the number a baker's dozen within a fortnight!

    It truly is remarkable though - Obama's administration can nearly flawlessly kill the guy who played bin Laden, kill him while he's unarmed thus forgoing all that super duper intelligence value, then dump the actor's body at see - everyone's on board....hey it hurts to ask "questions!"

    But trying to convince us the guy after Bush is relatively cool... this is where people get skeptical, eh?

    We truly live in what my dear departed mother called "shitburgersville."

  • Dr. Thaddeus Tingleberry||

    Parenthetically, Mr. Obama throws a baseball like Edward Scissorhands, and has consequently, lost my vote, which I shall now throw away on the Wraith of Millard Fillmore, currently resident in Gehenna, known to Men as the Land of Wind and Ghosts.

    -TPT

  • Dr. Thaddeus Tingleberry||

    Lastly, what ever did they do with the proportion of Mr. Al Sharpton's head which was previously resident in the immediate vicinity of his face?

    There is no emoticon capable of demonstrating my slight curiousity!

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