City Regulations Scare Away Haunted House

The youthful entrepreneurial spirit suffered another setback at the hands of regulators this Halloween season, as Fremont, California has ordered teenager Christopher Stelle to destroy his homegrown haunted house.

KGO-TV reports:

According to the citation, Stelle is in violation of two city codes. It's an improper use of land and the temporary haunted house was built without a permit.

For two months they've been assembling a haunted house which is situated between two different residences. But following receipt of the citation from the city of Fremont, they've been ordered to take the whole thing down in six days. They're hoping for a reprieve.

Perhaps an invitation-only policy would satiate the city:

Fremont does grant permits for temporary backyard structures—usually tents—for limited-invitation events such as weddings, but not for a haunted house that is open to the general public, [Planning Manager Barbara] Meerjans said.

The family does not charge admission, though they do give donations received through the attraction to charities and volunteer organizations.

Part of an ongoing saga of the man bringing young entrepreneurs down.

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  • Libtoidz||

    damn that [LOCALZ] control. if ron paul were in charge, DC would straighten this out post haste babiee !

  • Land Regulation||

    Regulation is always a trail of tears.

    Including regulating the land with abstract lines and demarcations to prevent the free movement of free people to forage and hunt.

  • Libertarians NEED regulation||

    Libertarians need government to enForce the heavy regulation the land with abstract lines and demarcations that prevents the free movement of free people to forage and hunt.

  • Mr. Mowen to Mr. Larken||

    Mr. Mowen stared dazedly about him and whispered to Paul Larkin, "Something's gone screwy here."

    "Oh, shut up!" snapped Larkin.

    "I am sure, Mr. White Indian," said the eldest libertarian, "that you do not really believe - nor does the public - that we wish to limit your free movement to forage and hunt. If anyone has been laboring under such a misapprehension, we are anxious to prove that it is not true."

    The judges retired to consider their verdict. They did not stay out long. They returned to an ominously silent courtroom - and announced that a fine of $5,000 for so-called trespassing was imposed on White Indian, but that the sentence was suspended. Streaks of jeering laughter ran through the applause that swept the courtroom. The applause was aimed at White Indian, the laughter - at the privation property judges.

    Indian stood motionless, not turning to the crowd, barely hearing the applause. He stood looking at the judges. There was no triumph in his face, no elation, only the still intensity of contemplating the enormity of the smallness of the enemy who was destroying the world. He felt as if, after a journey of years through a landscape of devastation, past the ruins of great forests, the wrecks of powerful rivers, the bodies of invincible men, he had come upon the despoiler, expecting to find a giant - and had found a rat eager to scurry for cover at the first sound of a human step.

    ~Adapted from Rearden's trial in Atlas Shrugged

  • Thread-Rider||

    There's, like, a WAR on LEMONADE!1!

  • Paul||

    Also, how do we know that the ghosts, ghouls and zombies employed within have humane working conditions, living wages and are in a smoke-free environment? Healthcare, anyone?

    Plus, anyone who develops a haunted house should provide low-income haunted housing as a requirement for a permit.

  • Unholy Living Dead||

    I spent 8 years and $200,000 getting a MA in Voodoo studies. I have no health insurance and can't see my witch doctor about this constant craving for brains.

    I am �.

    (sent from my iPhone)

  • Unholy Living Dead||

    that's supposed to be 99%.

    A square? Squirrels, really? A square?

  • Paul||

    Net Neutrality will fix this.

  • ||

    I am [a square].

    And they say squirrelz have no sense of humor.

  • Land Regulation||

    Regulation the land with arbitrary lines and demarcations, and enTitling it to the PRIVileged, prevents the free movement of free people scares away the foragers of North America.

    Regulation is always a trail of tears.

  • Abdul||

    Speaking of ghosts, John C. Fremont called. He wants you to take his name off of the town.

  • Joe M||

    Look, if we weren't destroying communities, there would be chaos.

  • ||

    And people wonder why government at all levels is bankrupt. Perhaps if they could contain the urge to regulate every move every person makes they would have money for teh schools, teh firemen, etc.

  • ||

    My god, we have the stupidest trolls. It's an epic level of stupidity. Once, we had quality trolls, like LoneMoron. What gives, reason?

  • Warty||

    FUCK YOU EPISIARCH|10.12.11 @ 9:57PM|#|show direct|ignore
    Fuck you Episiarch. Seriously, you don't run the fucking site, so go fuck yourself.

    Or get reasonable and ignore everyone who doesn't do want you want, but stop pretending you get to run your dicksucker and call other people idiots for blowing off steam at a troll.

    SERIOUSLY, fuck off and die.

  • I smell a rat||

    White Indian had found a city rat eager to scurry for cover at the first sound of a noble savage's step.

  • Sparky||

    Is there a catchy Internet term for when a troll posts and then keeps replying to its own post? How about when a troll trolls another troll?

  • Warty||

    FUCK YOU SPARKY|10.12.11 @ 9:57PM|#|show direct|ignore
    Fuck you Sparky. Seriously, you don't run the fucking site, so go fuck yourself.

    Or get reasonable and ignore everyone who doesn't do want you want, but stop pretending you get to run your dicksucker and call other people idiots for blowing off steam at a troll.

    SERIOUSLY, fuck off and die.

  • Sparky||

    So are you trying to say we should start calling it a "Warty"? I've heard from reliable sources that that's the way your dick looks and you just decided to run with it as a handle for comedic value.

  • Warty||

    Oh wait, you haven't been around lately, have you? Shit's been weird due to the trolls.

  • ||

    Weird? Not really; just tedious and stupid. Really, really stupid.

  • Warty||

    That counts as a subset of weird, right?

  • ||

    No, it's a subset of retarded, which is a subset of "things Warty has in common with the trolls".

  • Sparky||

    I don't know, I find the motivation behind White Indian style troll posts fascinating. I go back and forth wondering whether he thinks he making some kind of point or just jizzing on the posts because he thinks it's funny. I think I'd be more scared if he actually did believe what he's posting.

  • ||

    Either way, if he ended up peeled, salted and roasted I'd be fine with it.

  • db||

    I think it's the latter. Clearly this person's social development was arrested sometime around 9th grade and they think it's hilarious to shit in our cornflakes.

  • db||

    The griefer madness has been painful.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    In order to call something a "Warty" it must involve sheep, heavy metal, and a lawsuit.

  • Sparky||

    You know, I Googled sheep+heavy metal+lawsuit and discovered that cilantro is a great way to remove mercury (a heavy metal found in dental amalgam that thanks to testing on sheep has been found to leech into the bloodstream) from your body.

  • Sparky||

  • Cliché Bandit||

    wow

  • Cliché Bandit||

    But what did you get when you googled "lesbian wrinkle death"?

  • Sparky||

    I'm not falling for that one Admiral Akbar.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    Seriously, I believe Reason is the only link that comes up. I am not joking (but can't confirm since I am at work). Ask SugarFree, he is totally trustworthy regarding such things.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    Damn! Still one of the funniest threads in recent memeory. "pudding-filled sweatsock".

    SF, the master of nasty.

  • rts||

    Is there a catchy Internet term for when a troll posts and then keeps replying to its own post?

    Samefag, I believe.

  • ||

    I propose a variant: samerectal. Seeing as it's her doing it anyway.

  • ||

    That's pretty clever. Especially for you.

  • ||

    Thanks?

  • Sparky||

    So if Rectal started a post and caught another troll in it would that be a semirectal?

  • ||

    I like the way you think. And she's actually done that before, so now we have two new terms.

  • ||

    A massive thread of samerectal can eventually become large enough to be considered an "anal fissure."

  • Sparky||

    Wait, you might be onto something here. Trolling as done on Internet boards is really from the fishing term not the mythical monsters. Maybe the term should be "anal fisher".

  • Sparky||

    Then again, the way I understand it, that might just get Warty involved again.

  • Sparky||

    So to tidy this up and put a bow on it.

    rectal posts and rectal responds: samerectal
    rectal posts and other troll responds: semirectal
    rectal posts and nobody responds: solorectal
    rectal posts reach critical mass: anal fissure

    OK everyone, have at it.

  • Sparky||

    Good ole Internet comes through again.

  • ||

    Yeah, long time listener here, first time caller. I'm just wondering why these fucking trolls have to come and shit all over the roads and then ask for a toll whenever I cross the bridge. Fuck you troll, I paid the toll when I drove my Prius through your giant shitball.

    Slaver.

  • Bee Tagger||

    I don't think I'll ever understand a person who isn't infuriated by this.

  • Tim||

    Shit, people used to excercise discretion and common sense. Not anymore.

  • Sparky||

    Or even worse would be the people that are relieved by this.

  • ||

    But don't you see, we have to avoid a repeat of the deadly amateur haunted house tragedies like we used to have in the old days! All the time! They're seared into our memory! Seared, I tell you!

  • ||

    This new troll is like the drunk sophomore at a fraternity party who has nothing to say, so he keeps saying it over and over and over, louder every time.

    Moar CAPZ, brah!

  • Libertarians Never Repeat||

    over and over and over

  • Warty||

    FUCK YOU P BROOKS|10.12.11 @ 9:57PM|#|show direct|ignore

    DURR HURRR CITY STATE

  • Mr. FIFY||

    STFU, White Idiot.

  • Michael B Sullivan||

    I think that this one really exposes the problems with tons of regulation.

    Like, with lemonade stands, liberals can make the principled case that, "Of course we want all of our existing food service regulations, they just should not be applied to ten year olds selling lemonade for 10 cents, that's just stupid." You can make a case for "this is so tiny and small that of course you can see the regulations aren't supposed to apply to it."

    But this haunted house... it's not a tiny lemonade stand. It's a building (of sorts). If it, say, collapsed, you could be hurt by it. It is not unreasonable to argue that it is materially competing with, say, other, commercial haunted house attractions in the area.

    And the people who have those haunted houses could legitimately say, "Hey, we had to follow the regulations, this guy doesn't? If we say a kid is in charge of our haunted house, can we get out of the whole regulatory system?"

    So, I think, there isn't a principled stance here of "Of course we should have the regulations, we just shouldn't apply them to this kid." You've gotta either say, "We need fewer regulations overall," or be "the guy who says that a kid can't build a haunted house in his parents' back yard and use it to get donations for charity."

    Of course, a lot of people will be the latter person. But not me!

  • o3||

    one of the neighbors probably called-in the complaint. local control of local controlz

  • ||

    If it, say, collapsed, you could be hurt by it. It is not unreasonable to argue that it is materially competing with, say, other, commercial haunted house attractions in the area.
    And the people who have those haunted houses could legitimately say, "Hey, we had to follow the regulations, this guy doesn't? If we say a kid is in charge of our haunted house, can we get out of the whole regulatory system?"

    The difference is, the haunted house is on private residential property (between two homes), and it's not a commercial enterprise (they're not collecting entrance fees; there's only a voluntary donation for charities at the door, and that's it).

    Yes, you could be hurt or even killed by it if it collapsed. But that's a risk you take by entering someone's privately-run haunted house, in their backyard, for free.

    It might be competing with other, commercially-built and operated haunted houses in the area, but so what if it is? I would argue that the idea that haunted house "competitors" must be licensed or can only be commercial enterprises with a large bankroll is antithetical to core free market principles. It means that kids like Christopher Stelle can't enter the market, and they can't really pursue their dreams, because whatever they build has to be well-funded, and staffed to the point where they have people to navigate bureaucratic red tape and regulatory hurdles.

    So what you end up with is nice, safe haunted houses brought to you by Clear Channel local radio affiliates or shopping malls. Over time, you end up with what we now have: a soft, stupid public whose acceptable threshold of risk is not even a positive number. (And why would they need to be vigilant? The government is making sure they do not have to make any intelligent decisions by taking it upon itself to bureaucratically eliminate every last risk.)

    Worst of all, you end up with disillusioned kids like Christopher Stelle who don't even want to try innovating or becoming entrepreneurs because every great or fun idea they have is stomped out of them by the exhorbitant costs and crippling time of navigating the nannies.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    So, how is it that this law is even constitutional. Why are they never challenged?

  • ||

    If people who feared the collapse or conflagration of this dreadful temporary menace simply stayed away, civilization would undoubtedly collapse.

  • db||

    Once you remove the vital keystone of dependence on the state for one's own safety, everything comes crashing down.

  • ||

    But it's not just about "people," it's about kids. Kids just don't take safety into account and we can't monitor our kids all the time, you know.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    The stage collapse tragedy had a permit...gubmint saved those poor people right?

  • ||

    I keep wondering how long it will take before some local gummint tries this and the recipient of their wisdon just starts shooting.

    They can't all be like this useless flap of skin doing his best to imitate Ned Flanders.

  • Sparky||

    Responding to two anonymous complaints, a county inspector went around to have a look.

    Hooray for fucking killjoy neighbors.

  • Liber-statist||

    WE NEED GOVERNMENT to protect quiet enjoyment of property. ~Libertarian Statist

  • Mr. FIFY||

    Mr. Stelle should be forced to give up a urine sample, like those people who opened a lemonade stand on public property.

    /snark

  • Robert||

    Why don't they turn a portion of their existing home, for instance the garage, temporarily into a haunted house? That's got to be less trouble than bldg. a temporary structure.

  • Mattress Queen||

    So does this mean you can't build a tree house anymore? Makes you miss the simple days....

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