DEA Plans to Ban Imitation Speed

Yesterday the Drug Enforcement Administration announced that it plans to impose an "emergency" ban on three chemicals used in pseudo-speed sold as "bath salts." The ban, which will take effect in a month or so, covers mephedrone, methylone, and methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV). By comparison, a "bath salt" ban proposed by Rep. Charles Dent (R-Pa.) names 15 chemicals, and I'm guessing that, as with synthetic cannibinoids, there are many more—all of them less researched and potentially more dangerous than the prohibited stimulants for which they are substitutes.

More on imitation speed here.

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  • Tim||

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

  • ||

    Whatever. This shit is dangerous. People on these so-called "bath salts" have been known to tear cars in half with their teeth and bite their own genitals off and listen to Negro music! Ban it now! Ban it FOREVAH!

  • Tyrone Biggums||

    Red Balls!

    Cocaine in a can baby!

  • ||

    ...and bite their own genitals off and...

    It grants one the power to auto-fellate? Perhaps we are looking at this all wrong. We should be force-feeding this to the political class so they will stop (metaphorically) jamming their dicks into us.

  • ||

    No alt-text on Lady Bubbles, Jacob? For shame.

  • kilroy||

    My sentiments exactly.

  • ||

    Can they actually be used as bath salts? Because I would think pseudo-methamphetamine would be pretty hard on your lady flower.

  • ||

    I don't want to know what meth mouth looks like on a vagina, dentata or no.

  • ||

    Does this mean no more Mr. Bubble?

  • ||

    I'll be right back to comment. I just need to run over to Rite-Aid and get some dexatrim, mini-thins and a packet of 357 Magnums at the check out because I need to lose some weight.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Good thing that I'm a middle-class white person with access to a psychiatrist, to whom I can describe my terrible problem with inability to focus.

    Oh my. I must have just written a comment with no relevance to the subject at hand. Time for my medication...

  • ||

  • kilroy||

  • ||

    In a just world, the employer would be able to tell the union to fuck off and would be able to defend their property with violence against terrorist acts like cutting brake lines of rail cars.

    If a muslim man were caught coming out of a rail yard after cutting the brake lines on a rail car, saying he did it for Allah, he'd be on a plane to Gitmo. Union thugs do it? The police aren't even there when they were tipped off to it the day before.

  • kilroy||

    Police were not present during Thursday's predawn action at the terminal, but they said six security guards were held inside a guard shack while protesters attacked the train, broke windows in the shack and pushed a private security vehicle into a ditch.

    How the hell is that not kidnapping? I'd bet there's surveillance video of the criminals and they'll still get away clean.

  • ||

    If they would let people by pharmaceutical grade stuff, maybe they wouldn't be trying this kind of crazy shit? A lot of this stuff very well could be really dangerous. But hey, better people kill themselves on the fake stuff than have access to the good stuff. I mean people might actually be happy. And we can't have that.

  • Drug Cartels||

    We applaud this move.

  • Jeff P||

    Let me touch your Lady Bubbles.

  • michelle bachmann||

    C'mon Jacob, what part of "we are dealing with narco-terrorists" don't you understand?

  • Every Little Kid In The World||

    I can still spin around til I fall down dizzy, though, can't I?

  • TPTB||

    For God's sake, get that kid on Ritalin!

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