In Other Words, Just About Everyone

CNN recently obtained a list of the "behavioral indicators" that could subject you to an enhanced security screeing by TSA. Included on the list:

Passengers who display arrogance and verbally express contempt for security procedures.

Because terrorists are known for drawing attention to themselves by irritating security screeners? Seems doubtful.

The lesson here: Not only will you be subjected to a pointless, hassling, sometimes humiliating screening process every time you fly, but you'll also now need to pretend like you're enjoying it.

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • ||

    Threadjack: Drudge has a big promo for a new birther book! Sweet!

    Getcher popcorn ready!

  • Mango Punch||

    I sent a screen shot of that to a bunch of my liberal friends with the subject "I thought you might want to know that Drudge Report isn't biased"

  • breitbart||

    someone let Shirley Sherrod know

  • Mango Punch||

    but you'll also now need to pretend like you're enjoying it.


    Pretend? Who's pretending?

  • T||

    So, basically the feds are doing everything in their power to make me avoid air travel unless absolutely necessary.

    I think Joe Biden is secretly behind this to promote trains.

  • ChrisO||

    Oh believe me, there are those in the Security State who would like to extend the harassment to Amtrak passengers.

  • ||

    It's already been done in some locales. There are a couple of posts on The Agitator about DHS "teaming up" with local police in a few cities to search/grope people getting onto buses.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    The Amtrak police chief actually kicked TSA off Amtrak property, after that incident in Georgia.

  • jasno||

    It's really strange that there hasn't been any follow-up on that story.

  • ||

    All 5 of them?

  • Tim||

    Tim: There he is!
    King Arthur: Where?
    Tim: There!
    King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
    Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
    King Arthur: You silly sod!
    Tim: What?
    King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
    Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
    King Arthur: Ohh.
    Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
    Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
    Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
    Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
    Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
    Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
    Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
    Tim: I'm warning you!
    Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
    Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
    King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
    Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071853/quotes

  • ||

    So basically, the TSA is Eric Cartman? "You will respect my Authorataaaa."

  • ||

    I'd sooner receive a kinetic anal entry by Steve Smith than submit to these asshats.

  • I RAPED STEVE SMITH||

    AND HE LOVED IT!

  • dennis||

    The whole purpose of this is it is a ritual of submission. Why do you think the state does nothing to combat prison rape (though apparently they're going to crack down on guards raping prisoners) why do you think cops raping sex workers is so disturbingly common? The state must always assert itself against innocent people, and anyone who appears unruly must be put in their place. The state must rape and humiliate, it is as true in a social democracy as in a military junta.

  • Thom||

    I somewhat agree with this. During the shitstorm last year over the porno-scan machines it seemed much more important to the feds that people be willing to submit to entering a strange machine and standing in a submissive pose as a condition of travel than any actual security concerns. When people submit to you you gain power, and power is what people in DC are all about.

  • ||

    I have committed to a family gathering this summer. That means a round trip distance of nearly 3500 miles. But at least I can bring a pistol.

    Fuck you Janet Napolitano.

  • ||

    Am I understanding you right to assume this means you're taking the train?

  • ||

    So is it gonna be P Brooks on a train or an train on P Brooks?

  • Steve Smith||

    what?

  • ||

    ""But at least I can bring a pistol.""

    KWAIS thought he could bring his weapon through JFK airport. Beware, if you travel through a state that says it's a no-no, you could be held accountable if it's discovered. Just sayin.

  • jasno||

    Just remember that if you're drivin within 100 miles of the coast or border, you're subject to warantless searches and interrogation. Driving ain't safe either.

  • Mensan||

    That sucks for us here in Florida; the whole state is within 100 miles of the coast.

  • ||

    Let me know when the list includes resigned nonverbal contempt as one grudgingly chooses the "alternate screening method".

  • ||

    I sinned in my heart.

  • Jimmy Carter||

    I had lust in mine! Coincidence? I think not.

  • freeforall232||

    I saw a commercial the other day that was spoofing the TSA security checkpoints. One of the screeners told his victim, "During the patdown, you will call me 'Lisa'" while another had their victim down on all fours and was spanking them with the "wand". It was pretty funny.

  • Is Lynndie England a screener?||

  • Paul||

    Because terrorists are known for drawing attention to themselves by irritating security screeners? Seems doubtful.

    No, because it's not about security, it's about submission.

  • Tim||

    We must show respect to our government overlords.

  • ||

    ""No, because it's not about security, it's about submission.""

    And contraband. How many items were taken into TSA custody vs terrorist taken into custody.

  • THE BORG||

    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

  • creech||

    Last time I flew (out of Charlotte) some old white dude was arguing with several TSA goons and they were putting him through the ringer. Meanwhile, it seemed the rest of us got less attention because they were focused on him. Seems to me that's a diversionary tactic the terrorists would quickly pick up on and adopt.

  • Steve Smith||

    that dude got my full ass attention

  • ||

    Wow, the depth of the incompetence of TSA never ceases to amaze me. They've been given a carte blanche to patdown whoever they wish with no explanation whatsoever (because if they divulged their procedures the terrorists would be tipped off), so it's mind-boggling that they would actually write something like that down rather than having it be an "unwritten rule". It's not likely that TSA employees are going to be unhappy applying that rule, so the risk of a whistleblower is minimal.

  • Ximinez||

    NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

  • ||

    The SPOT program is due to be expanded under President Obama's 2012 budget proposal, with an extra 175 behaviour detection officers.

    Change you can believe in.

    Originally designed to target terrorists, it now aims to spot criminals, too.

    Excuse me, that's an obvious 4th amendment violation. Compelling a search which has components unrelated to air travel security.

    The TSA says SPOT is much more accurate than using random checks, but critics argue the 'false positive' rate is still very high. For every person correctly identified as a a high-risk passenger, a further 86 were misidentified.
  • Supreme Court||

    Oh don't throw that 4th amendment bullshit at us. It specifically says, "unreasonable". Guess who gets to determine what THAT subjective little gem means? The people doing the searching! The founders were awesome!

  • ||

    The founders may have believed such searches were reasonable in a time of war. The probably didn't believe the nation would fall for the idea of a perpeptual war.

  • ||

    Passengers who display arrogance and verbally express contempt for security procedures

    -Making eye contact.
    -Not making eye contact.
    -Smiling.
    -Not smiling.
    -Staring at TSA officers.
    -Not paying attention to TSA officers.
    etc

  • Cyto||

    but you'll also now need to pretend like you're enjoying it.

    Actually that won't work either. Because if you were trying to sneak past security you'd act confident and pretend to enjoy it. So clearly this is evidence that you are seeking to evade enhanced screenings.

    (truly, yours is a dizzying intellect - Dread Pirate Roberts)

    I'm just getting started! Since you know they are out to foil your plot, a smart man would be fearful, so any sign of fear can be used against you.

    But since you know that they are on the lookout for fearfulness, then clearly you would want the wine as far from you as possible....

    So anyway, then TSA Agent Danby asks Yossarian, "But suppose everyone on our side felt that way?"

    And Yossarian says, ""Then I’d certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn’t I?"

  • Joseph Heller||

    Pearls before swine, Cyto. Pearls before swine.

  • GroundTruth||

    So glad I've started taking a valium about an hour before dealing with these thugs. Now I can just stare happily into space while they use the Constitution to wipe their a**es.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    "indicators used by the TSA to identify criminals, terrorists and high risk passengers"

    I didn't know it was their job to be looking for criminals.

  • GroundTruth||

    This is NOT news. They've been using their warrantless searches to arrest folks for traveling with personal quantities of, er, "recreational substances" just about since the day they crawled out from under a rock.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Arrogant is not the right word. Letting TSA pieces of shit know that you hate them is not arrogance, its rational.

  • brec||

    Here's the story on which the Daily Mail story is based: CNN story

  • Mr. FIFY||

  • ||

    The good news is this program resulted in 39% of those arrested being illegal aliens. Why not have two lines - one for foreign nationals and one for citizens. After all, the number of American nationals who have flown jumbo jets into skyscrapers is.....zero.

  • Zeb||

    A lot of illegal aliens travel by air?

  • ||

    Or maybe all flights should always carry a couple of cartons of Korans. The muslims seem to be very opposed to anyone harming these books.

  • cynical||

    Plus, sensitivity or whatever.

  • Washington DC goddamn||

    Make that a couple of cartoons of Korans.

  • jester||

    The edition with the author's picture on it of course.

  • Washington DC goddamn||

    I usually am hard to rile, but when I hear that fucking Stalinist bitch Napolitano defending her TSA's 6-year-old girl groping I get really pissed. And her boss, FatherlandSecurityPig Obama -- goddamit.

  • JB||

    Fuck government employees.

  • دردشه عراقية||

    Thanks

GET REASON MAGAZINE

Get Reason's print or digital edition before it’s posted online

  • Progressive Puritans: From e-cigs to sex classifieds, the once transgressive left wants to criminalize fun.
  • Port Authoritarians: Chris Christie’s Bridgegate scandal
  • The Menace of Secret Government: Obama’s proposed intelligence reforms don’t safeguard civil liberties

SUBSCRIBE

advertisement