Reason Morning Links: Bigfoot Banks, Bigfoot Crooks, and Bigfoot's Successor

• The Obama administration will essentially keep an intrusive Bush-era search policy.

• The privacy implications of the health care bill.

• The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation runs low on funds.

• "Banks 'Too Big to Fail' Have Grown Even Bigger"

• The chairman of the Federal Reserve was the victim of identity theft last year. But yes, that was the real Ben Bernanke who helped ram through TARP.

• There's Sasquatch, there's the Yeti, there's Nessie, there's Elvis, there's Tupac, and now there's Michael Jackson.

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  • ||

    Bigfoot Banks, Bigfoot Crooks, and Bigfoot's Successor

    Do we really have to talk about Steve Smith all day? Jeez.

  • ||

    When do we get the video of Teddy leaving the van.

  • Joe M||

    ...[The FDCI's] insurance fund, which fell 20 percent to $10.4 billion in the second quarter.

    That's IT?? Good lord, we're ready to have a nice, old-fashioned run on the banks any day now.

  • Rich||

    Do we really have to talk about Steve Smith all day?

    No. Get a clue from the DHS, which now "sets time limits for completing searches".

  • Warty||

    NO MOCK STEVE SMITH ARRRRRRRGH

  • ||

    Dear Ben Bernanke,

    It really sucks when someone else is spending huge gobs of money in your name, racking up mountains of debt that you're going to have to pay back, and destroying your credit and your reputation, doesn't it?

    ---- With empathy,

    ---- The American Taxpayer

  • ||

    Fine, my bank was shuttered and handed over to another operator last week and the pinheaded fdic is bust as well...first national mattress deposits look to be the best bet.

  • \"Big Head\"||

    I confess: I "employed an army of ... office workers to swipe checks ... and other personal records", but it wasn't *my* idea.

  • ||

    No problem. We'll just bail out FDIC, the first bailout that I wouldn't have a problem with.

    When do we get the video of Teddy leaving the van.

    If his funeral procession goes like that of another Carter nemesis who peaked in 1979-80, it ought to be entertaining. Though I wouldn't want to be under the coffin at that point unless I have body armor on.

  • creech||

    Tulpa scores! We all ought to send that off to our local newspaper as a Letter to the Editor so millions will see it.

  • ||

    Thanks, creech, but...millions of people read newspapers?

  • ||

    As gift to all you fine people, I present the Typical Libertarian Template. With a fine and aged white guy evilly twisting his mustache, this cartoon is an excellent way to advocate the starving of poor kids or the beating of the elderly. Exorcise your darkest desires into the mouth of a perfect strawman.

    For example.

    Or perhaps a little Futurama.

  • Rich||

    Weird, SF -- that looks *exactly* like every libertarian I know!

  • ||

    I found myself wondering abstractly today what would be different if we were in year five of John Kerry's administration. (Besides constant windsurfing coverage on ESPN8 of course.)

  • short, fat bastard||

    My solution to surviving the coming financial crises is to have no savings and lots of debt. If the banks I go owe money to go under, too bad.

  • Ska||

    ^^

    Unfortunately they'd issue a 1099 for debt forgiveness, and the IRS would come knocking for their share. ;)

  • ||

    that looks *exactly* like every libertarian I know!

    I know. It was eerie, like looking in a mirror that turned out to be a window.

  • Meta4||

    The Huffington Post has major news -- with maps and everything -- on which parts of the country will be hardest hit by climate change just 100 years from now. Ryan Grim reports "Small Midwestern States To Be Hit Hardest By Climate Change" per a study from the Nature Conservancy (it's the ignorant, anti-science, climate deniers in flyover country who are in such grave danger, you see, and our noble, liberal, coastal elite is just trying to save these backwards gun-clingers from the hellfire that awaits). The headline and accompanying graphic from the front page at HuffPo:


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/27/small-midwestern-states-t_n_270540.html

    http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/101196/thumbs/r-CLIMATE-large.jpg

  • Joe M||

    Nice, SF, but I really wanted that mustache to be a little more evil, like a Rolly Fingers thing.

  • ||

    Odd that a global warming article is published in August. Surely environmentalists aren't trying to suggest that the hot summer some of us are having is proof of their claims. That would dishonest. I'm sure all the usual suspects will be by to lecture us like they did all winter not to think a seasonal variation in weather severity impacts global warming claims.

  • Meta4||

    Awesome Pelosi Pic:

    http://michellemalkin.com/2009/08/26/the-wretched-excess-begins/

  • ||

    Joe M,

    Rolly has a nice overhand twist, but I'd like to think the ideal twisting mustache would trend closer to this.

  • ||

    SugarFree,

    What, no tophat?

  • kinnath||

    Here in fly-over country (in a small midwestern state), July was the coolest on record and August wasn't much better. The high today is supposed to be about 70.

  • ||

    Never indoors, you uncouth ingrate. This country is sliding into chaos because of scalawags like you.

  • Joe M||

    Okay, that is pretty sweet. I don't know why we're tiptoeing around the issue though. Let's just cut to the chase, yes?

  • Pantsfan||

    I was picturing Snidely Whiplash myself.

  • ||

  • ||

  • ||

    Pity they let nouveau riche like you in here, isn't it?

    Snidley is good. I feel all Snidley like when I'm not caring about the poor and other people and rolling in hundred dollar bills, laughing at my excess.

  • ||

    http://www.worldaffairsjournal.org/2009%20-%20Summer/full-Bachrach.html

    This is a great article. It is the kind of thing I will send to reason but never see it put up. It is a bit too un PC for reason I think.

  • ||

  • Lloyd||

    ProL, I knew Snidely Whiplash . . . You're no Snidely Whiplash . . . .

  • ||

    ProLib,

    For you.

  • ||

    Can we make her the official libertarian woman?

    Please?

  • Aditya||

    Rangel running scared!

  • ||

    "first national mattress deposits look to be the best bet"

    Make sure and use a mattress pad. Bullion is pretty firm.

    "Weird, SF -- that looks *exactly* like every libertarian I know!"

    RACIST...er FACIST...err, some kind of IST! :-)

  • Aditya||

    Forgot the link!

    http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives
    /2009/08/charlie_rangel.php

  • ||

    Can we make her the official libertarian woman?

    Too doughy.

  • ||

    Too doughy.

    Your vote doesn't count, you not-knowing-who-Inara-is person.

  • PantsFan||

    Can we make her the official libertarian woman?

    We already have Lobster Girl.

  • Brock Samson||

    Molotov Cocktease.... You bitch!

  • ||

    "Banks 'Too Big to Fail' Have Grown Even Bigger"

    I get those emails, too! I thought someone was just trying to tell me something, but I guess everyone get's them. Phew!

  • ||

    Dean: Hank! We've got big troubles. The Apaches are back!

    Hank: What?

    Dean: Look. Tepee in your trunks!

    (Hank gasps)

    Hank: My pants are haunted! My pants are haunted!

  • ||

    What, no love for Oil Can Harry?

  • ||

    What, no love for Oil Can Harry?

    It that MC Scat Cat dressed as a leprechaun pimp?

  • ||

    Odd that a global warming article is published in August. Surely environmentalists aren't trying to suggest that the hot summer some of us are having is proof of their claims. That would dishonest. I'm sure all the usual suspects will be by to lecture us like they did all winter not to think a seasonal variation in weather severity impacts global warming claims.

    SF, here in Upstate NY we've had an unusually cool and rainy summer. This has prompted my conservative co-workers to exclaim GW to be a myth. It goes both ways when dealing with Ignorant Sluts.

  • ||

    Sorry, Nick. I was being so sarcastic it actually hurt to type that.

  • ||

    Speaking of AltEnergy, how many homes could we heat this winter if we harvested Teddy's blubber deposits?

  • ||

    It that MC Scat Cat dressed as a leprechaun pimp?

    Your lack of Mighty Mouse knowledge is not just an insult to me and Terrytoons, but to Andy Kaufman as well. I hope you're proud of yourself.

  • ||

    Order now, and we'll send you an extra "B"!

    *Just pay separate shipping and handling charge.

  • ||

    I got mine! That is some fast shipping!

  • ||

    Pirate Yosemite Sam would make a good libertarian spokesman. He's greedy, ill-tempered and heavily armed. And the moustache? Epic!

  • Michael||

    The targets: members of a nationwide ring that used an inventive combination of old-fashioned thievery and high-tech fraud to loot the bank accounts of unsuspecting victims.



    This article is all kinds of confusing. Who are they talking about here?

  • ||

    SugarBFree

    I have been struggling to figure out how to change the lyrics of The Vines' "Get Free" to "Get SugarFree", but it just doesn't work.

  • ||

    There's always Winnie the Pooh, who greedily takes the fruits of the labor of thousands of bees for his own personal profit.

  • ||

    The Labor Theory Of Honey sounds like a very sticky Marxist porno.

  • ||

    Episiarch,

    Sweet free? Or maybe Söt free?

  • PantsFan||

    We could reclaim Robin Hood from the socialists, you know instead of stealing from the rich (as they would have us believe) back to stealing from the oppressive taxman.

  • ||

    That's OK, ProL. Pooh's fuzzy little butt will be the first up against the wall when the worker bee's revolution comes.

  • ||

    Sweet free? Or maybe Söt free?

    No, you're missing the point, ProL. The lyrics would be "I wanna get SugarFree", as in "I wanna find him and hit him with a 9-iron".

  • ||

    It's not just the bees. I distinctly recall Pooh invading Rabbit's home on false pretenses and refusing to vacate. Further exploitation!

  • ||

    Robin Kennedy: he steals from the poor and gives to the rich!

  • ||

    Ah, I see. Do what Shakespeare would've done: "I wanna get S'Free." Pronounced sfree.

  • ||

    There's Sasquatch, there's the Yeti, there's Nessie, there's Elvis, there's Tupac, and now there's Michael Jackson.

    That's just MJs body. Evil scientists have implanted Hitler's brain into it.

  • ||

    Robin Kennedy: he steals from the poor and gives to the rich!

    Stupid bitch!

  • Ska||

    I suggest a 3 iron - longer reach and a lower loft for better hatchet-like performance.

  • ||

    Epi can't live without me. I complete him.

  • *||

    This thread deserves a death panel.

  • ||

    I suggest a 3 iron - longer reach and a lower loft for better hatchet-like performance.

    Performance is not a perk--then it would be over too quickly.

  • ||

    I suggest a 3 iron - longer reach and a lower loft for better hatchet-like performance.

    This is another area in which the Clan Kennedy has demonstrable expertise.

  • ||

    I suggest a 3 iron

    How about just a putter?

    "A man chooses, a slave obeys."

  • Ska||

    Do you know how hard it is to replace a good putter once you've found one?

  • ||

    No, no, you want a driver. Something with some heft in the head.

    Don't forget to follow through.

  • ||

    That's just MJs body. Evil scientists have implanted Hitler's brain into it.

    "I finally did it; I put a human brain into a robot body. I can't put it back; I'm too drunk."

    "You put an abnormal brain into a 7 foot, 15 inch gorilla!!!"

  • Charlie Rangel||

    "Today the Post, the Daily News, the Wall Street Journal and others pile on Rangel for these late admissions of taxable wealth. which they believe comport badly with his status as one of the architects of national tax policy."

    I ... forgot!!

  • ||

    There are no Death Panels; there are only Dearth Panels. Which will create and spread dearth!

  • Meta4||

    Test

  • ||

    Charlie Rangel: "Those laws apply to me? That never happened before."

  • ||

    I thought there were only going to be Darth Panels?

    How else will they get the training for all the Dark Side acolytes wandering the halls of power currently?

    Seeing these fresh Hill interns try our their new dark powers after a couple of drinks at the Hawk & Dove is well, sad, just sad.

  • ||

    Wow, what an elaborate scandal:

    "...Bernanke learned that a thief had swiped his wife's purse-including the couple's joint check book."

    Tough to figure out how that one would work out, huh?

  • Mike Laursen||

    There's Sasquatch, there's the Yeti, there's Nessie, there's Elvis, there's Tupac, and now there's Michael Jackson.

    Absolutely 100% predictable.

  • ||

    "...Bernanke learned that a thief had swiped his wife's purse-including the couple's joint check book."

    Good thing they didn't steal Ben's purse, or they would have gotten the Fed's checkbook.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Sugarfree, I'll take your idea and run with it. I've started a blog to provide the world with a much-needed, definitive libertarian response to the burning issues of the day. I urge anyone who wants to contribute to The Typical Libertarian.

  • ||

    Hugh,

    I like it. You should occasionally incorporate beliefs attributed to us by our resident trolls and loyal opposition.

  • Hugh Akston||

    ProL, As per Nutrasweet's suggestion, tTL is going to be more than just a public airing of H&R injokes. He's going to be the ultimate libertarian strawman. Once LoneWhacko's meds run out, I'm going to try and cage him and keep him in my garage. I'll never run out of material.

  • ||

    Yes, I agree with that strategy. Still, trolls can provide useful fodder. Especially when gratuitously edited.

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