Brian Doherty | August 22, 2007
Including "Note to Security: Have Fun Rifling Through My Underwear." Collect them all!
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I've carried the security
edition bill of rights through airport security like six times.
It always winds up in those tubs with the rest of the contents of
my pockets. It's never been stopped once. I suppose I keep it and
make the metal detector go off, but then I'd just have to take it
out of my pocket and put it in a tub. But maybe it would get
noticed.
That's the thing about TSA, they'll take your deodorant and nail
clippers because they've been told "take deodorant and nail
clippers" but as long as you paint your grenade to look like an
apple, it sails right through.
"Note to Security: I'm NOT personally connected to al-Qaida. I just thought the turban looked pretty cool."
Don't hassle the airport security monkey. Just say, "thank you, sir, may I have another"
Very nice but not as inflammatory as the
suitcase stickers we got from Reason Trustee, Drew Carey. I was
grateful TSA didn't find mine.
And like, Warren, I also have the security edition of the Bill of
Rights. Never been ballsy enough to leave it in my pocket to set
off the alarms. Mrs TWC threatening me with the couch has something
to do with that I suppose.
I also put my Security Edition Bill of Rights in the tub with my
stuff, and they never, ever notice it.
Here's a great note to leave in your luggage:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Leave a copy inside your luggage as well.
While walking through the TSA cattle line, I was discussing the
software I wrote that generated BOMs. My coworker panicked,
thinking that someone would mistake "BOM" (bill of materials) for
"bomb", and loudly whispered so that all could hear: "Don't talk
about the BOMs!"
:-)
Tee,
Without Probable Cause
Dang near everything I hate about the government is tied to this
little constitutional nicety.
I also put my Security Edition Bill of Rights in the tub
with my stuff, and they never, ever notice it.
It's rarely noticed likely because the TSA people can't read.
Do they have a picture-only version of the Security Edition Bill of
Rights?
it's a boot... stamping on a face... forever.
I think that is what TSA is intended to prep us for. It's not
airline security (obviously), it's conditioning.
I remember a woman in New York talking to a reporter about the police checking bags of subway riders who volunteered to be searched. She said she felt safe and liked going to the officer to be searched as it made her a good citizen. I think we are doomed.
When I lived in NYC, I would make sure to take all my dirty laundry when I went to visit my mom. I wanted to have those TSA hacks plunder through my crusty undies. F'ers never did.
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