The Lobster Underground
Food vendors vs. the state
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GoogleLobster is upscale. Hot dog buns are not. Crack the former, toast and butter the latter, maybe mix in a bit of celery and mayonnaise, and you have the ultimate in shabby-chic cuisine: the lobster roll. The dish is often bought at battered roadside shacks that dot New England’s coastal regions, a downscale setting that serves as a reminder of lobster’s unpretentious early history as fish bait. The roll’s place on select seasonal McDonald’s menus throughout New England—along with the fact that eating one doesn’t require an adult to wear a bib—has further cemented its place as the only lobster dish ready for mass consumption.
Whether as a treat for the common man or an excuse to slum it for the well-to-do, the lobster roll was never terribly hip, edgy, or controversial. Until last year, when a Brooklyn artist and chef reinvented the lobster roll as delicious underground performance art.
Using the moniker Dr. Claw, the thirtysomething chef began boiling batches of lobsters in his home kitchen and using the meat in rolls he sold—without the requisite licenses and permit—in Greenpoint, a Brooklyn neighborhood populated by Polish Americans and an ever-increasing numbers of hipsters. In order to skirt the law, Claw—whose real name is widely published but whom I chose not to identify here so that he could speak freely to me—devised a system that would be the envy of even the most enterprising drug dealers on The Wire. Claw’s customers first had to friend him on Facebook. Then, if they checked out, Claw would provide the potential customer with a phone number, exchange texts when the roll was ready, and hand off the goods in a plain brown bag.
Claw says he initially sold the food out of his apartment. Only after he had to move his sales to the streets did he go from mere chef-entrepreneur to the self-styled “lobstah pushah.” “I can’t take credit for any of it, I’ve got to be honest,” Claw said in an early October interview conducted over coffee and donuts at the Peter Pan Bakery in Greenpoint. “I was forced to do it on the street because the fire department came and my landlord didn’t want me to do it at my place. So I was all bummed out. I mean, half of [the draw of buying lobster rolls] was coming into my nautical-themed apartment. It was literally underground—downstairs—and it was cool.
“And then this kid came up to me and just did this thing—he walked this way and I just walked that way,” Claw says, motioning, “and everything was just born out of that moment. I was like, ‘That kid has clearly bought drugs on the street before. He knows the system.’ I don’t even know how the money just ended up in my hand. He’s got the roll. And we didn’t say a word.”
[Article continues after the video, "Lobsters Invade D.C.!"]
Thus was born Claw’s lobstah pushah persona. He perfected his act with an Ali G-style costume that mixed lobster- and Boston-sports-themed attire and a thick, gold-spray-painted chain holding up a large lobster claw (also spray-painted gold). Dr. Claw was now equal parts “culinary” and “art.” And if the lobster rolls were good enough to hook customers, it was Claw’s performance that kept them coming back.
“You do the cash/crustacean handoff in literally three seconds, and then you’re on your way,” says John Hendrickson, a longtime Greenpoint resident and frequent Dr. Claw customer. “And the rolls were sublime—hot grilled bun, at least half a pound of warm fresh lobster, copious melted butter, and nothing else.”
Sadly, Claw’s success was also enough to place him on the radar of the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, which regulates food safety in the city. The agency was hot on Claw’s delicious, buttery tail for some months before it finally forced him to shut down his operation in August.
Claw says he can’t envision himself becoming a “legitimate” full-time operation. He balks at the idea of opening up his own mobile food-vending business—more commonly known as a “food truck.” But even if Claw wanted to open up a shiny new food truck in New York City, he simply cannot do so. In fact, no one in New York City can, the result of the city’s dazzlingly draconian vending regulations.
To be fair to New York City, other jurisdictions boast equally stupid food truck laws. In North Carolina, for example, Asheville vendor Justin Smudde of Bandido’s Burritos complains that it’s illegal for a city food vendor operating in a public area to “assemble any kind of food” except hot dogs. “So you can grill the hot dog,” says Smudde. “Boil the hot dog. Put relish on there. Whatever. Chili. You know—whatever you want. For me, I can’t make a burrito on the spot. I can’t grill the meat for the burrito, or any of that stuff, or grill up a tortilla.” In exchange for its beneficence in allowing him to make burritos on private property, North Carolina requires Smudde to obtain a mere four operating licenses.
Lobsters Migrate from NYC to D.C.
Susan Povich owns Brooklyn’s Red Hook Lobster Pound, which supplied Claw with his lobster meat. Povich knows the heartbreak of food truck regulation all too well, having tried and failed to open her own lobster roll truck. “New York has limits on the number of local food [permits] that they issue,” Povich says. “There’s been a waiting list for, like, 25 years.”
Matt Shapiro—an attorney with New York City’s Street Vendor Project, a nonprofit organization that defends the rights of city vendors—explains the distinction between vending licenses, which are widely available, and vending permits, which the city refuses to issue to entrepreneurs. “If you want to become a food vendor you need to have a license, which is like an ID card for yourself, which anyone can get,” says Shapiro. “You have to take a food handling class. And then you’re able to sell food on a permitted food cart or truck.
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Cheap, exploitative, trick on the graphic.
Appreciated, but cheap and exploitative.
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More exploitation, please...
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Pavlov's lobster.
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At first I thought the girl had crabs.
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At first I thought the girl had crabs.
And when did you start worrying about whether or not what you eat is kosher or treif? I'm pretty sure Monica is parve, so you should still be safe.
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They've used that picture before. Who the hell is that?
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The Lobster Girl lives! Oooh how I love the Lobster Girl!
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Didnt someone figure out who she was last year? A model from Colombia, I think? Did we get a name (you, know, for GIS purposes)?
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Yeah - I don't have the link here, but that photo is on some Colombian photographer's web site...
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No-neck troll + BOOBIES + side shot = Lovely!
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There's nothing typical about you, rather. You are at least two standard deviations higher in weight than the general population. Doesn't that make you feel special?
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For christ sake, not every post is mine. Take your fucking insulin-stat
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No but most of them are yours. Hung up about your weight kitten?
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Don't hate her 'cause she's beautiful.
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Lobster Girl is smokin', but the (in)famously-embedded "bounce-bounce girl" pulling on her jeans is even hotter. ;)
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^^THIS^^
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link?
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Bounce-bounce girl needs to do some squats. She has chicken legs.
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What? She had legs?
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Appreciated,
butbecause its cheap and exploitative. -
New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
Mental Hygiene? Seriously?
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Dirty minds never learn. We will make you smooth between the legs and smooth between the ears. Clean. Clean. Scrub you until you bleed.
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To prevent dirty thoughts!!
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For all of us with dirty minds.
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Dirty minds and dirty markets!
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Black minds and blacker markets. (no racist)
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Just checkin' in!
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Nothin' says lovin' like Lobster Girl in the mornin'
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Nuttin' like a good sideboob shot to brighten one's day.
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Agreed. :D
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Speaking of the Wire:
More than 30, including 'Snoop' of 'Wire,' arrested in drug raids
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Now I have a boner at work AND no way to get a lobster roll :(((((
Thanks a lot, REASON...
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Mental Hygiene? Seriously?
Every county in NY has a Department Of that. It's a thing there. And in North Korea. And Maryland.
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Funny that if the NY legislature wanted to cut the budget, no one would be screaming about the lost Department of Health and Mental Hygiene jobs.
But the streets will be over run by crazy people!!!!
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OMG so glad I'm not the only one to find that weird
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perfect example of "free" market capitalism limiting competition. established restaurants petition the city to limit street vendors. and another example of collusion bet business & govt. nothing new to see here, move on please...
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Because of the Iron Law:
Money and power will always find each other.
there are only two ways to reduce this problem.
(1) Reduce the size and scope of government.
(2) Reduce the size and scope of the private sector.
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How the fuck is that a failing of the free market? Getting the government to limit your competition is the opposite of a free market system.
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God you're stupid - what you describe is the OPPOSITE of a "free" market.
Please let us know when you plan to graduate from elementary school - hopefully we can anticipate better-reasoned arguments from you then.
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u 1 n elm schl free martFUNduhmntlist! me no am capitulist such sure rem tard
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Almanian, you just got served.
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What you were served... I admit I am clueless.
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Lobster roll??
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Nah, that would make too much sense.
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What you were served... I admit I am clueless.
Alphatext soup.
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I'd love to see someone diagram the sentences (?) in that post.
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I'd do it by my pen is all out of stupid.
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Sigh... "by" should be "but."
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Uhhhhh.....
NO, YOU ARE!
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My "wanted" poster is full of frozen plectrums! Please fondle my pentagram!
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Re: OhioOrrin,
perfect example of "free" market capitalism limiting competition.
"Sadly, Claw’s success was also enough to place him on the radar of the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, which regulates food safety in the city."
OhioOrrin is schizophrenic - he reads voices that aren't there.
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and how do u think the city radar picked-up his underground op?... astrology?...tarot cards?...what a maroon
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Magick, dumbass. Is recess over yet? Go back to your flash cards.
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Exactly the sort of thing that libertarians and the Institute for Justice opposes, and the liberals and Democrats support.
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It's called crony capitalism.
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"Either you want pizza or you want lobster.” And exactly what would that have to do with Domino's - they don't sell either.
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That is one sexy lobster she is kissing.
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Is it wrong that I want to see Lobster girl in a bondage type scenario, with lobster claws clamped on her nips, and dudes eating lobster meat from her ass?
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Yes, it is wrong. But only because you mentioned "dudes."
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lol, I never quite thought about it like that before.
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Anon Bot, thank's for being a voice of reason amidst the cacaphony of a world gone crazy.
Oh, shit - I think I have to drink...
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Did I really put a ' in "thanks"? I did...see Anon Bot? The world is so stressful what little language skill I have is further deteriorated.
I'm talking to an Anon Bot about my typing skills....fuck...I need help...
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I'd normally say it's a tad early to be hitting the bottle hard, but you apparently need it today, Almanian. And it can't make your posts much worse, can it?
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No shit
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"I'd normally say it's a tad early to be hitting the bottle hard"
Well it is 5:00 am somewhere.
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UM??? More pictures, less article.
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Lobster girl proves everytime she makes an appearance what I have observed about libertarian circles for years - sausage fests.
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And the prudes who get off on sniffing about them.
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Or the women in libertarian circles aren't going to comment much about sideboob...
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They're all too busy pillow fighting somewhere in their PJ's
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You know who else kissed lobsters...
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I'd say "Ariel," but I am pretty sure that was a singing crab.
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53 comments and almost a third are on topic!
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I just want to be free, I thought this was about freedom?
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This guy should write more often.
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I'll be in my bunk.
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I heart Lobster Girl. Always a favorite of mine.
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if the health code regulations changed to allow for more entrepeneurship and versatility, libertarians would still be bithcing because there'd still be regulations
If I ever follow through with my idea to create open-source alternative codes and/or amendments to codes to encourage municipalities to have a more reasonable, to-the-point, and freedom-oriented regulations, I'd still be considered an AuthoritarianFascist® because I'd be writing laws (or what are meant to be laws), no matter how much freer it actually makes markets
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I can't speak for anyone else, but I for one would be willing to take that chance.
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This might seem weird, given the city's track record, but Portland has an amazing food cart culture. It's not that big of a city but we have hundreds of the things. In some places they congregate and occupy multiple blocks- one giant food bazzar. Food carts, along with lots of brew pubs are what I like most about the place. East coast cities might learn something from our model.
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yeah, I don't know why we don't have those. I'm wondering is it we're running on a different health code system? or is it just there isn't much demand because there are so many options close by? I think I'd like to have such options to go to these new fancy food trucks
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I'd like to see these fancy food trucks, but I can also see the necessity of at least limiting their number in some way. I can't even imagine where they could park in Manhattan to sell their food. Maybe Queens would be more suitable. Even here in New Jersey it's hard to imagine where they could park to sell. The only thing I can think of is in the parking lots of corporate parks or large office buildings with large parking lots. But then in that case they WOULD be DRASTICALLY affecting other store's sales, a SHITLOAD of people who normally walk somewhere further to get lunch everyday would go to the more convenient truck in the parking lot instead. This does indeed matter because all the "brick" shops that have opened have opened with the expectation of not having competition from trucks; you would indeed be negatively affecting, and to a large extent, for the much smaller benefit of their customers, but on the other hand there would be more people (the customers) getting that small benefit.
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That's absurd. In private enterprise one never opens for business "with the expectation of not having competition".
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if one wanted to come up with modifications to health codes, he would need to know about them.
So does anybody know exactly what classes one needs to take that would qualify him to be the health inspector?
Ditto zoning code enforcer.
I already know where they have building code classes - Bergen community college Paramus.
The last one I'm going to do first as it's more related to my job, but they could all be useufl to me in myu job to some extent, and I'm serious about that writing alternative codes thing. It would be an interesting hobby I could work on under a non-profit.
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Speaking of food
The proposed warrant added, “It shall be unlawful for any law or regulation adopted by the state or federal government to interfere with the rights recognized by this Ordinance.” In other words, no state licensing requirements prohibiting certain farms from selling dairy products or producing their own chickens for sale to other citizens in the town.
Hat tip to LRC
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nice,your blog is so helpful to me.
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Film is a different medium than print. Rather than characters making speeches, Rand's philosophy ought to be shown via the characters doing something interesting.
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Not "craw", C£aw!
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so helpful
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thank u
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it is perfect
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