No Domestic Violence Restraining Order Based on Allegations of "Gaslighting"

"Lily accused Gunther of 'Gaslighting' (underscoring omitted) by denying he suffered from steroid-induced rages during their marriage and denying Lily's contributions to Gunther's career success."

From Shia v. Shia, decided Jan. 27 by the California Court of Appeal (Justice Helen Bendix, joined by Justices Gregory Weingart & Michelle Kim):

Lily Shia appeals from an order denying a domestic violence restraining order against respondent Gunther Shia, her ex-husband. Both parties are self-represented on appeal. Lily fails to show the family law court erred by declining to consider many of Lily's allegations of abuse on the basis that they already had been litigated and decided in Gunther's favor. We further hold Lily's remaining allegations are not supported by substantial evidence or were not properly before the family law court….

The decision is long and involves lots of allegations, but here's the one that struck me:

Lily accused Gunther of "Gaslighting" (underscoring omitted) by denying he suffered from steroid-induced rages during their marriage and denying Lily's contributions to Gunther's career success. {Gaslighting has been defined as "psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator."}

Lily argues gaslighting can constitute abuse because it causes her to question her own mental well-being and sanity. Lily does not dispute the family law court's conclusion that the gaslighting allegations predated February 19, 2016 and could not be relitigated.

Assuming arguendo Lily's gaslighting allegations concern Gunther's more recently denying his purported steroid-induced rages and Lily's contributions to his career success, we decline to hold that ex-spouses' denials of each other's accusations, without more, constitute psychological abuse meriting a restraining order.